


The Dream Breather

by gal_of_the_sage



Series: The Dreamer Archives [2]
Category: Manga - Fandom, Naruto, anime - Fandom
Genre: Action, Assault, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Kissing, Near Death Experience, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, graphic content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-08-29 15:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 96,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16746214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gal_of_the_sage/pseuds/gal_of_the_sage
Summary: Kakashi and Chiisai are forced to live under a romantic guise, but things are rough from the get go. Her recovery begins to interrupt her daily life and her powers are only getting stronger. With Danzo at their backs, how will the pretend couple cope? Is their relationship pretend at all? (Rated M for violence/torture at end. Kissing scenes, fluff,  no smut, inappropriate for children)





	1. Adjusting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part two of a trilogy! Head over to The Dream Devourer to get started. 😊
> 
> Also, it’s only rated M for 2 scenes at the very end. Other than that, this is mainly a slow burner.

Chiisai sat on the opposite side of the couch with her legs drawn up and a blanket around her shoulders. The cushions were stiff, and she longed for her old couch back at the apartment, along with its fluffy pastel pillows. It had been so much warmer back at her place. Kakashi kept the thermostat 5 degrees lower, and she felt perpetually cold. At least there were windows, and sunlight, and decorations. It was still better than the underground bunker.

Her eyes glinted with anger at Kakashi, who lounged beside her with a casualness she didn’t understand. He only wore pants and a tank, along with the mask. It was far too much skin to show, and his shirt fitted him like a second skin, outlining the definition of his toned chest. She couldn’t deny that she enjoyed the view, but that was exactly the problem.

It was not normal- living here in his home, with his things. Her clothes were finally put away, and luckily Kakashi’s minimalist view on life left room for her favorite dishes, mugs, and snacks. But her books still sat in piles along the hallway, and she refused to part with them. It was the only clutter in the apartment. Not only had she been forced to share the only bedroom, but there was only one bathroom, and both had lived the single life for a very long time.

Kakashi took his attention off of the book in his hand and glanced at her. He raised an eyebrow when her eyes darted away. Sighing, he closed the book and said, "Are you ready for tomorrow?"

Pulling the blanket closer, she replied, "As ready as I’ll ever be." 

Kakashi's eye flickered over the outline of her body. She was still so thin. "There's no need to rush things." The ninja leaned back and stretched. "It wouldn't bother skipping work tomorrow." It was her first official day in the apartment, and everything had been rushed. It was too much change for Chiisai, and she had immediately shut him out after Shizune dropped her off this morning. He couldn’t blame her, of course. After all, it was a drastic change for him as well. He hadn’t even had time to draw up some house rules.

"Unlike you, I enjoy arriving promptly." Her head rested on her knees and she added, "And I would like some consistency back in my life." Her eyes wandered around the room that didn't belong to her. She felt like a cat thrown carelessly into water. Was anything about her life normal?

His tone softened. "Chiisai."

"Hmm?" She didn't meet his gaze.

There was a moment before he spoke. "How bad are your seizures?"

Her eyes found the window. Of course Kakashi would've found out. It had been stupid to think that she could hide it from him. She didn’t need to create more problems for him. 

She raked a hand through the brown strands of hair and calculated, "Very seizury."

The jonin leaned forward while resting his elbows on his knees. “I do play certain roles that concern your well-being. The plan only works if we both communicate."

The woman rolled her eyes at his serious tone. There was a lot more than communication needed for the mission to work, and she wasn’t ready for it. "They're not that bad." His expression caused her to groan in frustration. Rubbing her face, she complained, "You're such a worrier! I'm fine."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

She wasn't fine.

It was one in the morning when she got out of bed. His bed. Though there was room for two, Kakashi had agreed to sleep on the couch before she could open her mouth. It had been a relief, to say the least. But the bed still smelled like him, and she couldn’t sleep.

Chiisai cursed her feeble body, knowing that she wouldn't be in this situation if only she possessed some ninja skills. It was her mind that held all the power when she was asleep. 

She needed a cold glass of milk to calm her down. How could she go to sleep in Kakashi's bed, in Kakashi's apartment? 

Kakashi didn't move from the living room, much to her content as she tiptoed into the dark kitchen. He probably feigned sleep for her sake. Chiisai rummaged through the cabinets, trying to remember which one held the glasses. Sighing, she rose on the balls of her feet and pulled out her favorite mug- it was made of glass and had cats decorating it.

She missed Tori. It would be so much easier if he were still here. 

Her hand gripped the handle as she opened the refrigerator. Its light made her cringe, and her eyebrows furrowed. For a moment, she watched her hand linger on the milk carton. It was shaking.

The nausea set in, making her stomach churn. She staggered back, away from anything she could knock over. Chiisai cursed under her breath as her body gave way. Another step forward. The glass left her hand, but the woman never heard it meet the floor. She fell backward on the tile, causing slivers of pain to split across her back. Spasms racked her entire body.

Someone screamed inside her head, splitting her eardrums while she desperately tried to claw her way out of this frightful place. Why was there so much fog? Anyone could get lost here.

Was she lost?

She couldn't remember.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

His body went rigid as he heard her pause. When the sound of shattering glass entered his ears, he was already in the kitchen. His eye widened when he saw her convulsing body lying on broken bits of glass, the light from the refrigerator illuminating her trembling form. His hands wrapped around Chiisai, tilting her on her side. Saliva and blood fell from the corner of her lips as her eyes rolled back. He positioned her head on his thigh as gently as he could, remaining calm on the outside though his heart thundered in his chest. He was left watching helplessly while the seizure took over Chiisai.

Her body eventually grew still. His worry rose at seeing blood spread on her back. The seizures were far worse than what he had anticipated. What good could he do when it came to guarding her from herself?

Her eyes slowly opened, though they didn't focus. She stared blankly at his waist for several moments. Kakashi's hand supported the back of her head as he waited for her to recover.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. 

Kakashi shifted her body, keeping careful to avoid her back. "You fell on glass."

"That was my favorite, too." She frowned while moving her jaw back and forth.

He lightly shook her hair around her shirt, letting the loose pieces of glass fall. She winced as she rose into a sitting position, feeling the warmth of the blood on her back. Kakashi stood and held out his hand. She glared up at it, sighed, and took it. Her hand was small against his, and his calloused fingers gripped hers as he pulled her up. She averted his gaze as he said, “I have a first aid kit in the bathroom.” Chiisai followed him down the hall as he asked, “Still want to go to work?”

“Yes.”

Kakashi shook his head. "You're in no condition to go. Now turn around.” She huffed but obeyed. He lifted the back of her shirt, assessing the bits of cuts and gashes that adorned her skin. "You're going to have to take your shirt off. It's everywhere."

"What?!" She grabbed onto her shirt and fumbled to shove it back down. Wincing at the movement, she added, "I'm not taking it all the way off."

He flattened his brow. "I've already seen you-"

Kakashi caught himself as her body stiffened. “Your scars. I’ve seen your scars,” he finished with a cough. She didn’t remember the shower incident, and he planned on keeping it that way. “Look,” he sighed, “I can just rip open the back of your shirt. Just lay on the sink.”

He reached under the sink, taking out the supplies he always kept handy. The ninja looked back to see her glaring at him. Chiisai always seemed to be glaring at him, he realized.

“Fine,” she sighed. “But turn around.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to see how clumsy I am.”

“That’s nothing to be embarrassed for. Why would I have that expectation of you?”

She gestured with her hand and replied, “Just turn around!”

Kakashi rolled his eye, shrugged, and did as he was told.

He turned away from her, but that didn’t stop him from hearing every sound she made. Her breath, her palms on the sink, her knee hitting the edge, a curse, a mumble, and the creak of the wood underneath as she lay on her stomach. “That was painful,” Chiisai said.

He resisted the urge to to roll his eye again and stepped towards her. And paused. 

Her body pressed down against the elongated sink, her knees bent back as her toes reached the light switch on the wall. Her silhouette shown in the bright lights, the curve of her back sinking and arching back up. Kakashi took a deep breath. He’d bandaged up plenty of comrades before- both male and female. This wasn’t any different, he told himself. “Ready?”

Chiisai pulled her hair to the side. “Rip away,” she mumbled.

Kakashi gripped the top of her shirt in both hands and yanked. The fabric pulled apart easily, and he briefly wished he were ripping her shirt open for a different, more enticing reason. The sound echoed in the cramped space. The shirt now draped her sides, and Kakashi set to work with the tweezers. He could see the outline of scars along her exposed sides, like stripes on a tiger. 

Chiisai broke his concentration. "They usually aren't that severe."

"You're a bad liar." He picked out the tiny pieces of glass and set them aside. He needed to keep her safe, after all, that was his mission. But their lack of communication had already made it difficult. 

She pretended not to notice the warmth of his touch though it sent shivers down her spine. "I'm a great liar when I have the energy." She arched her back as more pain shot through her. Turning her head back, she scowled, "What are you doing?"

He placed the curved shard with the other bits and pieces. "You hammered the glass into you. And stop moving."

Chiisai let out a frustrated groan and pressed her head into the counter. The sound of duct tape ripping startled her and she said, "What the heck are you doing now, kidnapping me?"

He pressed the tape lightly onto her and glared back, "Oi, you want me to help you or not?”

"Fine," she muttered. His fingers pushed down cautiously, causing her to cringe. "I'm really starting to question your methods, Farm Boy."

“This is going to sting.” He peeled the tape off, taking with it the bits of glass and blood. It was crude, but effective. Kakashi then frowned and added, “I'm one of the most elite ninjas in Konoha and you question my methods?"

She shot back, "I question a lot about you and your weirdness."

He shook his head. "Care to enlighten me."

"Sure. I don’t understand how your hair manages to defy gravity. And do you even eat with that mask, or is it some kind of camouflage jutsu? Your sense of smell worries me too. And I don’t understand why you enjoy Icha Icha. The plot is decent at best, and- HEY!"

Kakashi ripped the duct tape off her back in one swift motion, causing the sound to echo throughout the bathroom. The ninja smiled and replied, "Oh, sorry about that."

With a growl, she shifted her weight forward and tried to kick him with her foot. His fingers wrapped all the way around her ankle. "It's a plot that dives deep into the passions between a man and a woman. And you say it's decent?"

"The protagonist keeps making the same mistakes and doesn’t learn from them." Her voice rose. “That’s not a character-driven story.”

"His heart overshadows his mind throughout the narrative, causing him to make the same brash decisions. It’s his constant struggle that drives the story forward," the ninja reputed. "Now stay still, there's some glass left."

Kakashi let go of her leg and grabbed the tweezers again. Her breath caught in her throat when he pulled out the long shard. It glinted red under the light, and she let out a hiss once it left her skin.

"That's going to need stitches."

It took ten minutes to clean, suture, and bandage the wounds. Chiisai ground her head into the cool sink the entire time, painfully aware of how close Kakashi was to her half-naked body. His fingers kept grazing over her as the needle went in and out, pulling her skin back together with each sharp prick.

"Done."

"Great," she wheezed out. "Now I need a new shirt and a new mug.”

Kakashi pulled off his shirt and dropped it on top of her head. “This should fit nicely,” he said with a false smile.

"Hey, that's not what I- ughh," she groaned. He had already closed the door behind him. Slowly, Chiisai peeled herself from the sink, barely catching herself as her feet touched the ground. The torn shirt slid off of her. Her heart sank at the sight of herself in the mirror. Her toned body had long dwindled away, leaving a small shell that only now seemed to be healing. The old jagged scars crossed over her stomach, catching the light as she turned to see the damage on the other side. It was covered in bandages and blood stained the back of her pants. With another heavy groan, she pulled them off and pulled Kakashi’s shirt over her, though the movement stung. It fell almost to her knees like a nightgown and was full of static, causing it to cling to skin. Was it because lightning was Kakashi’s natural affinity? Were all his clothes full of static?

She turned the faucet on and opened her mouth to check her wounds. After cleaning the blood from her lips, Chiisai placed the dirty clothes in the sink and watched the water turn a murky orange. With a deep breath of uncertainty, she switched the light off and opened the door.

She trudged passed him and said, "Are you following me in case I have another seizure or something?"

His footsteps were silent behind her. "I'm just enjoying the view in front of me."

The pain finally set in and she filled her cheeks with air to distract herself. She tried her best not to limp to the bed, but her body was already shutting down. Kakashi reached out to help, but she managed to get out of his grasp. "I'm fine," the woman said firmly as she staggered to the bed. He was being ridiculously kind to her, and she didn’t know what to make of it. "I'm still going to work, you know."

He turned off the light before he left. "We'll see. Goodnight Chiisai."

Chiisai faceplanted into the pillow, trying to get comfortable on her stomach. She needed to get to sleep to start her mission. But the pain flowed as naturally as the blood in her veins, contrasting the heaviness that clung to her bones. One miscalculation on her part could ruin Konoha's newest and most dangerous secret.

She turned her head to the side and said into the darkness, "Farm Boy."

He was at the door seconds later. "Hai."

"Stay," she mumbled pathetically, hating how he was the only thing that made her feel safe anymore.

She inched toward the wall, leaving a space for him. Hesitating, he slowly climbed in. Chiisai shifted so that she curled into him, her fingers grazing his chest. She couldn't deny how welcoming his warmth was, and that knowledge scared her more than the seizures.

"I'm tired of being alone," she confessed through the pain.

Kakashi watched her onyx eyes close. His fingers ran through her hair as he whispered, "I know." He took a deep breath, noticing the blood couldn't hide her scent. She always smelled like books, whether here or in the dream world. His lips brushed against her forehead and he finally murmured back, "Me too."


	2. Edge of Oblivion

Chiisai landed inside of Kakashi's dream. He laid under a tree, his head stuck in Icha Icha Paradise. Chiisai sank down in the shade beside him and said, "You've mastered the lucid thing."

He didn't look up from his book. "I've had plenty of time to practice."

"Hmmm." Her thoughts dwindled back to the last time she had been in his mind- the last time she saw her father. Everything had changed then, and now she was left with barely any tethers to her life before. Something flickered into view beside her, and she instinctively ran her fingers through its soft fur.

"Bringing up the past will only make it hurt worse." Kakashi glanced at the feline now sitting on her thighs. Chiisai blinked in surprise, and the tuxedo cat to vanished. Shaking her head, she said, "It’s difficult. Tori…Was the one consistent thing in my life.”

He rose to a sitting position beside her and replied, "I know."

Her eyes wandered up to meet his gaze. It showed a sadness she understood, and she wondered if he had conjured people from his past here in the dream world. “Did you miss me while I was comatose?"

He turned his head away before she could see his reaction. "You're asking that now of all times?" 

She stared down at her hands as heat rushed to her cheeks. “Well, what’s your answer?”

“I thought the overwhelming stacks of books made it clear how I felt. Now, isn’t there a mission report you need to inform me of?”

She blinked up at him, surprised at the statement. There had been a book for every day she had been gone. Chiisai bit back a grin and said, “Fine. Mission report.” The smile quickly faded as she said, “I still can’t find Danzo or some of his men from the list in the dream world. I’m assuming it’s some kind of protective jutsu or seal on their mind.”

Kakashi nodded “Danzo is an expert at fuinjutsu.” Danzo had clearly taken an interest in her, and he had the necessary precautions to fight against Chiisai’s abilities. “He won’t act until he has the advantage, so that buys us time.” He didn’t want to think about this new threat. Danzo would stoop to many things in order to gain power, and Chiisai would be a prize to him. “Now, moving on. Lady Tsunade wants you to reiterate what your abilities consist of in your own words.”

She flattened her brow and replied, “That’s a long list. And why would she want that?”

“For one, I have an excellent memory. And two, it’s a good way to track your progress and keep you accountable.”

Chiisai rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. “Alright, I get it. Obviously,” she began, “I fall asleep and somehow slip into this dream dimension. It’s been like that since I can remember,” she shrugged. “From there, I can slip into people’s dreams as they sleep, and therefore their mind. I can manipulate their dreams, absorb nightmares, and gather intel straight from the source. Control their physical body. Manipulate memories- I haven’t done that since the last sealing,” she added. “And I have to be asleep in order to do anything. And my chakra only works here and not in reality- hence my lack of ninja skills.”

“How do you know who the person is?”

“Everyone has a certain signature, like chakra. I’m not sure how to explain it. Like I can just think of you now and transport here.”

Kakashi nodded. “And what’s your range?”

“Reword the question,” she replied. He was in full ninja mode, his eye narrowed as he calculated her words.

“Kuroi managed to put people outside the village in comatose,” he said. “What I’m saying is, how far can you travel in this dimension in relation to reality?”

She paused and stared out into the forest. She had accomplished many things under the Third Hokage, but everything now felt ten times more difficult to do. “I had a very wide range before I was sealed. I managed to wake everyone up, so I’m assuming my range the same as my father’s- so just a third of the Land of Fire. But I’ll need more practice unless there’s a signature I know I can track.”

“You’ll have to practice.”

She laid back in the grass, the small blades making her arms itch. "This would be easier if the Hokage would let me tell her in person. Or show her, for that matter."

Kakashi looked down at her. "As the Hokage, she can’t have somebody inside her mind."

Sighing, Chiisai replied, "She wouldn’t want me inside her mind, you mean. I get it. I hope you see why I don’t have many friends.” She stared up at the sky and added, “Trust issues.” It was an unfair statement she knew, but it was just tiring to work under an authority that didn’t trust you. This must have been how the Uchiha Clan had felt.

He smiled. "For the record, you're easier to talk to here. I welcome the company, personally." It had been surprising to learn that he had more friends than she did, considering his was barely a handful.

Chiisai’s shoulders relaxed. It was a relief to hear him say that, and he had only been the third person, maybe fourth, to accept her fully. "I don't have to keep my guard up here." Unlike in reality, where she had to pretend she didn’t know everyone’s dreams and nightmares.

The ninja nodded. "Do you really think you’re ready for tomorrow? We’re pretending to be in a relationship- a believable one.”

She hit her head against the ground in frustration. "I figured since I just came back after ‘recovering from a deadly illness,’ my coworkers would take pity and not ask questions." She didn’t want to even think of Koshuu. She hadn’t seen him since Tori’s death, and it was still painful to think of.

“And what of public displays of affection?”

Her eyes widened and she immediately replied, “I thought we’d be a conservative couple.”

Kakashi leaned over her and with a straight face, observed, “Your face is red.”

“Shuttup,” she glared back. “This entire conversation is awkward.”

“Indeed. But what if I kissed your forehead in public? Would you freeze like right now?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Of course not!” She hated the hardness in her voice. Kakashi always kept calm, and it was infuriating to listen to.

“Then may I?”

She could definitely feel the heat on her face. It felt like a game, as if Kakashi were testing how far her pride would take her. Chiisai finally replied, “If you must.” The contract only allowed for certain things, anyway, and she had to consent to anything physical. Gods, he could probably hear her heart beating faster.

Kakashi's hand flattened beside her face, pinning her to the ground. Her eyes widened as he leaned closer, his eye never leaving hers. Chiisai pressed herself against the grass as much as she could and squeezed her eyes shut. 

He pulled away from her and flattened his brow. “You look like you‘re about to get tortured.”

Chiisai avoided eye contact and sat upright. “Not unnecessarily true.”

“Have you not been kissed before?”

Crossing her arms, she replied, “Of course I’ve been kissed. I’m offended you’d think otherwise. I just haven't had a great time with men and physical contact as of late." 

He eye softened, and he said, "I'm not going to hurt you."

“I know you’re not,” she whispered back. Of course she new that, but her instincts spoke otherwise. Chiisai stood to her feet and ran her hand through her hair. She inhaled before saying, “Just try it again while standing. Like normal people do in public.” 

Chiisai watched him as he nodded and stood. Fear and adrenaline coursed through her at the same time. This was ridiculous, she was a grown woman. There was no need to feel this way. But Kakashi approached her, and her heart still beat faster. His hand now rested on her waist, his fingers sinking into the fabric of her shirt. He tilted his head down, waiting for an answer.

She hesitated, her eyes growing wide as Kakashi's presence loomed over her. His body heat invaded any sense of security she had left, but it almost felt welcoming, even inviting. His hand cupped the side of her face after he tugged down his mask. He pressed his lips softly to her forehead. When she didn’t flinch, he moved down to her cheekbone. She didn’t stop him. Electricity rushed through her body, and she closed her eyes. His mouth trailed down like butterfly kisses. Chiisai took a sharp intake of breath, of his soft lips sending sparks underneath her skin. Kakashi then brought his lips to hers.

Her figure stood stagnant at the feeling of his body against hers, of his lips sending warmth through her. Chiisai's hands clutched his vest, knowing she desperately wanted to trust him, to let go of this fear that always seemed to squeeze the air right out of her lungs.

It was like she was on the edge of oblivion, and all she had to do was take one more step and jump.

Chiisai's lips moved against his now, a hunger rising that quickly turned into need. She rose on her toes, her lips seeking more. Kakashi pressed harder against her, his fingers tangling in her hair. Her lips parted as his tongue slipped between her teeth. She didn’t understand why she needed him- more of him- but her body responded by moving her hand underneath his shirt, feeling the hardness of his muscles, gripping the small of his back. Kakashi guided her body backward as their lips broke and came back together, moving until her back collided with the tree.

Why did this suddenly feel so good? Her lips were raw and his tongue glided across them, causing her to gasp. It was as if her brain could no longer function, and her heart just screamed for more. And he was so eager to give it, as if he had been waiting for this moment for weeks.

Kakashi’s words suddenly came to mind then, of his comment on Icha Icha. She was making a brash decision, she realized, all because of her stupid heart.

She pulled back instantly, not meeting his eye as she caught her breath. His hand held her face, his tempting lips still inches away. His thumb traced her cheek as he whispered raggedly, "Chiisai?"

She shook her head, not wanting him to see her face. This intimacy scared her, knowing that any moment this dream might shatter and rip her inside out. And that was worse than any torture her father had ever inflicted on her. She wasn't ready for this oblivion.

Chiisai took a step away, trying to escape his presence, to get away from the craving that surfaced from within. Even the dream had been affected by her emotions: the calm atmosphere had transformed into a field of red camellias. Even the tree's leaves were red above her. She pulled away from him. Wrapping her hands around her stomach, she whispered, "I'm sorry, Kakashi."

And then she was gone. The flowers withered with her disappearance, leaving the jonin standing in darkness. Kakashi closed his eye and slammed his fist against the tree. He rested his forehead against the rough texture, still feeling her lips on his skin. Chiisai sparked a passion inside that he hadn't felt in a long time, and the pain he saw in her eyes hurt him more than a kunai to the chest.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

When she awoke, she found herself practically on top of Kakashi. Their limbs were entangled around each other, her stomach pressed against his. Odd. She rarely moved in her sleep. Her surprised eyes met Kakashi's as he observed, "So you're a cuddler."

She gave out a cry and nearly fell out of the bed if Kakashi hadn't have caught her. How long had he been awake? She yanked away from his grip, releasing a cry at the pain coursing through her back.

His amused expression dissipated. "Are you alright?"

Chiisai stopped moving and ended up straddling his waist. Her hands dug into his skin as she consciously felt the ache all over. Her whole body throbbed from the seizure, making her dread each movement she made. The stitches intertwined with her skin and it was uncomfortable to move her back at all.

His muscles expanded under her fingers as he took a deep breath, reminding her of what had happened in the dream world. Noting their arrangement, Chiisai pushed off of him and stood on the hardwood floor. She checked the window, noting the Sun had barely risen over the horizon.

Chiisai didn't look at him. "I'm going to work."

Kakashi watched her slow steps, noting the care she took with each action. "You can barely walk to the closet. How do you plan on making it to the library?"

He didn't even act like anything happened between them last night. She let out a groan. "I miss Tori. He never nagged me as much as you did, and he was a cat, for Six Path's sake. Plus he sensed my seizures before I would fall, not after."

His eye widened in surprise. "You had seizures then. You didn’t tell us that."

"I probably should have mentioned that earlier, but yes." She rummaged through the closet and said, "I wasn’t sure if it was from the medicine withdrawals or not, but it’s been too long after the comatose. Sometimes my mind and my body disconnect, and I can slip into someone‘s dream, or I come back from a dream and I can’t fully connect to my body. Like sleep paralysis times ten. Now which drawer is mine again?"

Kakashi stood behind her. "You need to stop hiding these things.”

“I wasn’t hiding it, I just wasn’t sure,” she replied in a harsh tone. “Until last night.”

“You'll kill yourself just trying to get down the stairs."

She slowly straightened, turning to face the ninja. Her black eyes narrowed as she tilted her head up to meet his scrutinizing gaze. "I'm going, even if I have to crawl to get there." Chiisai had to get away from him. She had to think, which was something she couldn't do rationally around him.

"Then you leave me no choice," he tsked as he opened his left eye. "I apologize in advance."

She frowned at his words, but by the time she figured out what he meant, she was already collapsing into Kakashi's arms.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Oh, I'm gonna kill that asshole," Chiisai muttered as she pushed herself up from the sheets. Judging by the sunlight pouring in the room, she had slept until at least noon.

With a groan, the woman trudged towards the hallway. A noise came from the kitchen. She walked towards it and yelled, "Kakashi, I'm sore as hell but let me tell you, if you ever use Sharingan on me again, I'm going to-"

She blinked in surprise, aghast to not see Kakashi at the kitchen table.

"Gai?"

Might Gai lifted the spoon from the pot and turned to her with a grin. He suddenly was in front of her, and he encased her in a bear hug. Chiisai let out a yelp as pain shot through her trapped frame. "So here's the spirited flower that captured the heart of my eternal rival!" He pulled back, grinning down at the woman with sparkling eyes. "Love only strengthens the power of youth is what I say! I can tell by your tears of joy that you think so too!"

She forced a smile, trying to mentally block out the pain left by his bone-crushing embrace. Her arms crossed over her chest, suddenly aware of what little she wore in front of her pretend boyfriend's best friend. "Where's Kakashi?"

"Oh, he has a meeting with the Hokage and some errands to run. But don't worry, he entrusted me with looking after you!" He bent down and whispered loudly, "It's okay, he told me about your illness." The ninja drew back with a shout, "But the trials you are facing now will only strengthen the bond you two share! Love and youth conquer all!” He thrust himself into a pose, lifting his spoon triumphantly in the air.

"I hope so," Chiisai muttered as she rubbed the back of her neck. "That calm demeanor of his makes me want to scream."

His bushy eyebrows shot up and he replied, "You too?"

"Yes!" She met his surprised eyes. "And why are his comebacks always so on cue?!"

"I know!" Gai nodded. His hand tightened in a fist as he added, "His attitude can be so irritating!"

"Exactly!" Chiisai exclaimed with outstretched hands. "I'm so glad someone else understands how I feel!"

Gai grinned again and wrapped her in another hug. "We're going to be friends in no time! Now what's your name again?"


	3. No Reply

Kakashi trudged into his apartment and paused mid step. Sighing, he slipped off his shoes and headed down the hall, stepping over the novels that lay in his path. Their voices echoed from the bedroom, and he frowned at the sound of Chiisai giggling. Leaving Gai and Chiisai alone may not have been the wisest decision concerning the cleanliness of his apartment. And why were they in the bedroom together?

He stopped at the doorway and peered in.

Gai and Chiisai sat under a makeshift tent made from blankets hung between the chair, the window seal, and the bed. Pillows and books cluttered the hardwood floor, along with dirty bowls. Gai's feet stuck out of the tent as he exclaimed, "I have the best spicy curry recipe! I can bring you some next week!"

"That sounds delicious, and I fully approve. What do you think of this book?"

"No, the cover looks too dreary. You need a book that'll put a skip in your step, like my curry!"

"Ooh, hold on! I saw one like that on the floor somewhere." She crawled out of the tent and halted when her eyes saw pale bare feet. Her head tilted up to see the ninja with one eyebrow raised. She said, “Your feet stink.”

He glared down at her before asking, "What are you two doing?"

"Kakashi!" Gai bolted out the tent, tackling the jonin to the floor. They both hit the ground with a heavy thunk. "Eternal rival, I had the most wonderful time! Why did you have to come back so soon?"

"It's seven o'clock. I've been gone all day." Kakashi pushed his friend off and rose to his feet. "Wait, you had a wonderful time…with Chiisai?"

"Yes, we have so much in common!"

Kakashi blinked from Gai to Chiisai, who stood to her feet. "I find that hard to believe."

"See, dull attitude," Chiisai told Gai as she jutted a thumb at Kakashi. Gai gave a chuckle as he slapped his friend on the back. "Your lover has a great sense of humor!"

Chiisai's face paled at the title. Kakashi took the opportunity to wrap his arm around her shoulders as he smiled, "I'm glad you think that. She just keeps surprising me it seems." Gritting her teeth, she elbowed him and replied, "Oh honey, you don't have to say that. How was your meeting with the Hokage? Any mission changes?" 

"No mission alterations," he replied. "It seems I'm stuck with what I've got, sweetheart." Kakashi squeezed her shoulder, making it harder for her to refrain from slapping him.

"The love between two people is simply breathtaking!" Gai exclaimed. He wrapped his arms around the couple. "We can celebrate this weekend! I'll invite our friends to drink to the blooming flower of love!"

"Wait, blooming what?" Her eyes widened.

Kakashi shrugged. "As long as Chiisai finds it okay."

Chiisai's eyes shot daggers at him, which he returned with a smile. She looked at Gai, about to reject his offer, but the sheer happiness on his face made it impossible for her to say no. Damn those sparkling eyes of his. "Yeah. That sounds…fun."

"Oh, the joy of my youth is overflowing already!" He gave them one last hug. “I’’ll go tell everyone right now!”

Chiisai held her face in her hands once he was gone. "Why did I agree to that?"

Kakashi bent over and picked up the pillows. "You were going to have to meet them sooner or later. Why not get it over with?" He tossed them on the bed. "I can’t believe how messy this house is."

"I don't even drink.” She raked a hand through her hair. "Why couldn't I say no?"

"Then drink tea.” He bent over to pick up the bowls. With a grimace, he mumbled, “And I don’t even want to know what were in these.”

"I don't drink tea either." She sighed and pushed the chair back in place. Reports littered the desk, along with several kunais. Taking her eyes off of the weapons, she muttered, "How can someone know so much about me know so little?"

He folded the blanket and laid it back on the bed. "You said you don't drink tea, not that you don't like it."

Chiisai rubbed her lower back, taking a mental note to get another pain pill. “That’s correct," she replied. Kakashi, noticing her grimace, bent down and helped her. He rubbed his temple and asked, "Can you please communicate?" 

Chiisai took the books from his hands, pushing past him without a glance. "My parents used to drug my tea."

No wonder she didn't trust anyone or anything. Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets, following her to the bookshelf. "You are right, I don't know much about you, but I'd like to know." Her hand paused on the shelf. "You'd like to know?"

"If you let me, yes."

Her eyes found the floor. "It would make living together easier, I guess." Chiisai slid the last book and finally replied, "Fine." The floorboards creaked under her weight as she stormed out. "I'm gonna need a huge glass of milk for this."

Kakashi made sure she was gone before he peered at the bookshelf. He shook his silver head, scolding the woman as he reorganized the books. Was she arranging them by color?

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Kakashi leaned back in his chair, amused by the new information. He glanced back at the bowls in the sink. "Is that why you don't wash dishes?"

Chiisai rolled her eyes. The light from above cast shadows as she shifted in her seat. "I'll start washing when you start leaving the toilet seat down."

He lazily replied, "Why would I do the extra work?"

And this was supposed to be an elite ninja? She threw a hand up and exclaimed, "You can roll up the end of the toothpaste but can't put the toilet seat down?"

Kakashi placed his hands behind his head and exhaled, "Seems like it." 

Chiisai crossed his arms. "We couldn't be any more different."

He wanted to mention that opposites attract, but Chiisai didn’t seem to be in the mood for such a statement. "Oi," he yawned, "then let's find something in common."

Her mind was blank as she stared at the mug. "We both grew up in the village."

Kakashi flattened his brow. "Accurate, but unhelpful."

She brought one leg up on the chair. This room was too quiet for her to get comfortable and the awkward atmosphere didn't help. "You think of one, genius."

"Reading."

"Okay," she nodded, "there's one. And we're both stubborn." Her eyes found his as she took a sip of milk. Kakashi tapped his fingers on the table, the only sound in the kitchen. 

The jonin’s brow creased. "Here’s some: antisocial. Lonely. Constantly on gaurd."

"Those aren't very positive traits," her voice held little hope. 

His thoughts flickered back as he recounted their time together. "We're protective. Of course,” he added, “that’s usually my job.”

Chiisai leaned forward and gripped the mug on the table. "Gai talked about you a lot today."

His voice fell. "He did."

"Kakashi," she said. The expression in her eyes changed then, and she said, "You are a good person. I want you to know that."

He waved a hand and replied, "You know Gai over-exaggerates things."

"But he’s incredibly honest.” 

He tensed in his chair. "The things I've done, they aren't good." His voice was low and shut off, his tone like a slap to the face.

Chiisai stood, causing the chair to grind against the floor. With the mug still in her hands, Chiisai walked to the kitchen. Some things she knew he would never talk about, and that was fine for now. She couldn’t expect that openness when her life was full of secrets. But the view he had of himself was like a thorn pressing deeper into her heart, and she couldn't bear to watch him suffer at his own hand. "We both have our secrets, but we both need to stop wallowing in our impressive stack of regrets. That's another thing we have in common, Farm Boy." She flicked the side of his head and finished, "A lot of people know you’re a good person, including myself." 

Kakashi pulled her onto his lap before she could step away. Chiisai let out a startled gasp, but she couldn't get out of his hold. She tilted her head up, a look of annoyance crossing over her. He brushed a strand of hair from her face while his other hand rested on her hip. To Kakashi, Chiisai was a hurricane that stirred up every emotion he had buried long ago. She was a storm he welcomed.

"You're making me go crazy," he whispered. 

"Well, you've already made me crazy," she smirked up at him. Her eyes widened when his thumb slid up under her waistline, grazing her jagged skin. Chiisai pushed his hand away, her hands cold against his warm skin.

"Chiisai," he breathed, "how did you get these?"

There was no response at first. The woman tried to get up, but his gentle hand held her firmly in place. She was pinned between his body and the table behind her, his presence easily enveloping her small frame. The old fear closed in around her and she clutched the mug. “My father’s kunais."

His eye narrowed, his muscles tense as he replied, “His death should have lasted longer.”

“No, Kakashi.” Chiisai shook her head and continued, “It was his kunai’s, but the scars weren’t from him.”

Kakashi sat her on the table, its sudden coldness shocking her senses. The mug clattered on the wooden surface as she slid away from him. Kakashi clamped onto her legs, pulling her back to the edge. His fingers curled around the bottom of her shirt, yanking it up to see the scars that ran across her skin. Her body sat rigid and the escalating fear quickened her heart beat. He inspected her, his hand running across the bumpy terrain of her abdomen. She took in a harsh breath at his carefulness, realizing this was the first time she had let anyone touch the scars of her past. Kakashi's voice hardened. "These are deeper than most battle wounds. Some are killing blows."

She couldn't find the words. All she could do was stare at his dark blue shirt, remembering the cool metal in her hand, the tip of the blade shining in the light.

"Chiisai."

He tilted her chin up and his intense eye found hers. She couldn't win against him and unlike the dream world she couldn't escape. Chiisai looked away and whispered, “Some were from me not recognizing reality, and I was trying to wake up. Others, I didn’t want to dream, and if there was enough pain, I wouldn’t sleep.” She had never had the courage to aim for her heart, and she didn’t know what to make of it.

She still remembered seeing her stomach glisten red, of the rag in between her teeth to keep her from screaming and waking her parents. Trying to staunch the blood flow, to keep her mother from finding the stained bandages in the trash can. And the times when she believed to be dreaming, when she realized too late it was reality, but maybe it was the best, if she didn’t have to suffer anymore. 

The ninja's hand cupped the side of her face, his thumb wiping a stray tear away. She closed her eyes, trying to fight back the past that always seemed to devour her- of screams and nightmares that drove her insane, her father’s grip on her wrist, his fingers digging into her scalp. Kakashi pulled her to him and she buried her head into his neck. "We both had ways of battling our demons," he said.

Kakashi rested his head on top of hers. His heart beat against her skin, it rhythm a steady pulse that soothed her own. She pulled away as her hands came up to his face. She watched him, her fingers curling around the soft material of his mask. He remained silent and allowed her to pull it down past his nose and lips. She traced his narrow jaw, her eyes studying all of his face, trying to commit every curve of it to memory, "Why do you let me see your face? I've seen it in the dream world, but…"

Kakashi wrapped his hands loosely around her wrists. "The same reason you let me see your scars."

She closed her eyes. "Why are all of your responses so-"

His fingers tightened around her. His eye narrowed at Chiisai. "Hey."

Her hands were trembling against his skin, her face frozen as dread swept over her. A shudder rippled through her body as chill bumps graced her pale skin. Chiisai tore herself from his grasp and lurched towards the hall. She had been too concerned with Kakashi to notice anything else, and now was literally taking the fall for it. Kakashi caught her as the seizure began its torturous cycle. She could already hear the screaming inside her head, and the last thing she heard was her own voice saying, "Shit."

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Chiisai landed in cool fog. Her fingers dug into the damp earth as she struggled to her feet. The familiar scream struck its chord amidst the silence. She stuck out her hand and erased the fog from the dream, but no one came into view. What lay under the thick mist was nothing more than dirt in darkness. It was the same dream from last night.

Chiisai focused her chakra and summoned the dreamer's subconscious. A man dressed in ANBU uniform stood before her, his face hidden beneath a simple mask with only one green stripe. She recognized the owner of the mask- his name was on the list of Danzo’s men.

The man brought his hands together. She saw the beginning of hands signs. His hands were instantly wrapped in shackles and he was forced to the floor by just a thought from Chiisai. This was her territory and she had the advantage. Chiisai walked up to him, taking precaution as she chained him to the ground.

"You've been sucking me into this dream. How the hell did you do it?"

The ANBU didn't respond. She reached down and took off the mask. Seeing his face brought back details of his childhood, of his early life as a ROOT ninja. Danzo, she recalled, was ruthless when training ROOT members. But she couldn’t see any dreams past his early years.

"Tell me what you know," she smiled, "and then this will all fade like a dream."

Deja vu snuck across the back of her mind at her own words, a flicker of the past she couldn't recall trying to peek its way through. A flash of a cloaked figure crossed her vision but the memory was gone in an instant. Shaking her head, Chiisai reached out and touched his forehead, attempting to seek what lay hidden beneath the barriers of his mind. But she couldn’t focus, and images flashed behind her eyes of a young man with dark hair. He was smiling down at her, his hand reaching out for her to take it.

Before Chiisai could blink, the ninja formed a hand seal, leaving her gasping for air. The chains had disappeared from her lack of concentration, and she was left struggling to move.

"Now," he replied, "tell me what you know."

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She wasn't waking up.

Kakashi had Chiisai on the bed, her body still limp. It was now an hour after her seizure and there were no signs of improvement. The ninja sat at the desk, attempting to distract himself with unfinished reports. But it was quiet and his ears caught the sound of every movement Chiisai made.

He buried his head in his hands. The familiar fear grew in the back of his mind, eating away at his usual calm demeanor. He had waited for her over sixty days, and here he was again waiting. He was convinced the past couldn't repeat itself so quickly. Letting her go was something Kakashi couldn't face right now, not after all they'd been through. He had lost too many loved ones already.

Kakashi turned towards Chiisai, his eye filled with worry as he whispered, "I need you to come back."

He didn't get a reply.


	4. Back To Work

It was like a jolt of electricity struck Chiisai. Her eyes flew open and she pushed herself up, not even realizing the pain that came with it. A streak of blue and silver flickered at the corner of her eyes. In a blind panic, she brought her hand up and hit the person's chest, expecting a gust of wind to send the masked man flying.

He grabbed her wrist, and she tried again to fling him back. Her eyes widened, knowing something was horribly wrong. Why weren't her powers working? Maybe she was having a nightmare. Gods, she was having a nightmare, and she needed to control herself, or else everyone would suffer.

"Chiisai," Kakashi's voice tried to soothe her quaking mind.

She blinked up at the jonin, only now recognizing him. Her shoulders sagged as she took a shallow breath. He let go of her wrist. Her eyes stared down at the pillow, realizing she wasn't dreaming at all.

Her father was right all along.

With a trembling voice, the woman whispered, "You real?"

His eye glinted with pain at the vulnerability hidden behind those familiar words. "You were out for five hours." He exhaled raggedly, "I thought you had gone into comatose."

Her eyes widened. She went to push herself back up but let out a gasp at the sharp ache pulsing through her back. He placed a hand on her shoulder, his fingers cold against her burning skin. "The seizure ripped some of the stitches. It had to be re-sewn."

With a groan, she replied, "So you're saying you saw me half-naked again?"

He sank into the bed beside her, causing it to creak under his weight. "I don't think this is the time to worry over such things."

She closed her eyes, saying with defeat, "Well, it's sure of a great time to worry about everything else."

He removed his hand and replied, "Chiisai, I need you to talk to me."

Her fingers curled into the green bed sheet. She winced as she sat up, avoiding his gaze. "I just slipped into a nightmare, that’s all,” she said. “Time moves differently in the dream world, and…I got confused on where I was.” 

He took the sight of her in and replied, “You’re shaken.”

“You lived a whole dream life with your teammates, Kakashi. Weren’t you a bit shaken when you discovered it was all a lie?”

Kakashi opened his mouth, paused, and closed it. “I just want you to be honest, and I fear for your safety.”

“I’m sorry. I just- this whole thing is new to me.” Chiisai took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry I worried you. You should get some sleep.” Her fingers gripped the sheets as she pulled them over her. She cringed as she lay on her stomach, the ache from her stitches pressing into her spine. It would keep her awake for awhile, and she was glad of it. But guilt flooded her chest as the same time. Lying wasn’t her strong suit, but she couldn’t bare to tell Kakashi yet- that the mission was already failing, and Danzo was already trying to get one step ahead.

Kakashi slowly sank into the bed. He lay on his side facing her. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

She whispered back, “It was only a nightmare.”

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“She broke my hold before I could gather substantial information,” the masked ninja said. He bowed is head before Danzo, his face without expression as he continued, “I apologize.”

“She is more formidable than we thought.” His cane clicked against the concrete floor as he said, “I see why Lady Tsunade values her.”

“Chiisai is physically weak and has no ninja skills accounted for. She needs constant physical protection.”

“Which is why we misjudged her.” To have a such a weapon in his possession would change the tides of leadership in the village. Not just the village, but the nation itself. “Continue watching her. We will have to arrange a meeting with her in person.”

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"You’re stressing me out.”

Kakashi trudged beside her with his hands behind his head, making sure his long legs staid at a slow pace. "C’mon. What boyfriend doesn't walk his girlfriend to work?" 

"People are staring." She crossed her arms, avoiding eye contact with everyone they passed. "I don't like it."

He bumped into her, knocking her two steps away. "You're dating Hatake Kakashi. You're going to have to get used to it."

She shoved him back with little success. "You're such a-"

He grabbed her hand as she stumbled into him. His eye narrowed when her arm began to shake. Chiisai forced her eyes shut and shook her head, trying to fight back against her rebelling body. He squeezed her trembling hand hard, and pain shot up her arm. "Whoa." Her body jerked as she let out a gasp.

He frowned down at her. "You're blushing."

She blinked in surprise. Raking a hand through her hair, she stuttered, "I just-well- someone was dreaming…Nevermind." She had to get this under control. The dream hadn’t even been an intense one. Well, intense in the usual way.

With an amused yet concerned expression, Kakashi pulled her back into a walking pace. She glanced down at their intertwined fingers. His hand practically consumed hers, and she immediately glanced away. "You can let go of me now, Farm Boy."

He shook his head and stated, "You might have a seizure again."

"And holding hands is going to solve it?"

Smirking, he responded, “Am I not allowed to hold my girlfriend's hand?"

He smiled down at her angry expression. They turned onto the main road which bustled with the morning rush. People paused as they strolled by as low whispers filled the air. Chiisai kept her head fixed to the ground in front of her. Kakashi glanced down at her and muttered, "You look like you're walking to a funeral."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's mine," she gulped. "I definitely need another aspirin."

She could tell by the villager's expressions they were surprised. Of course they had heard that the famous jonin had finally found love. Shouldn't Kakashi be dating someone that was more…Imposing?

When they finally made it to the library, Chiisai let out a sigh of relief. Library meant books and books meant safety- a sweet place of refuge. Kakashi scratched the back of his neck and said, "Oi, you could at least try to appear happy."

She pulled the key out of her pocket and replied. "I thought it made sense to act shy."

"That looked more like a death march to me."

"Fine.” Chiisai stood on her toes and wrapped her hand behind his neck, pulling him down. Her lips pressed against his cheek, and she quickly pulled back, fearing what would happen if she lingered. “That better?”

His eye closed in a smile as he straightened. “Much better.”

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The door scraped against the floor, startling Chiisai. The reunion with her coworkers Mizuki and Koshuu had been cut short thanks to a group of first years from the Ninja Academy. The unscheduled field trip had given Chiisai the chance to hide in the back, where she still sat over five hours later.

Her fellow employees kept their space for the most part. They heard about her illness only a couple of days after her disappearance. During her three month absence, all they could figure out was Chiisai was horribly sick and needed special treatment. And though curiosity caused them to enter the back room multiple times and grab some ‘welcome back’ mochi, no one had the courage to approach the woman. Except Mizuki, who had embraced her multiple times. But Mizuki hadn’t been a problem, not like this person walking through the door.

Koshuu closed the door behind him. The mischief in his brown eyes and the half-smile he always carried had been replaced with an intensity that reminded her of Kakashi. "We need to talk."

She sat the worn book down beside her. Images of Koshuu flashed behind her eyelids- a cruel smile, her cat's dying wail, her head crashing to the floor as she saw Tori's broken body-

"Are you alright?"

Shaking the thoughts away, she replied, "Yeah, I'm fine."

He sat down across from her. "You look pretty awful, Chiisai. You could use a steak, or some kale. You're like a ghost."

"Thanks for the compliment," she replied, though was nice to have someone talk to her without pitying her. Poor Mizuki kept acting like a worried mother. Koshuu was almost refreshing, but she wasn’t ready to talk to him yet- not when Tori’s broken body flashed behind her eyes.

He sighed before meeting her onyx eyes. "Look, what happened to you? You disappeared after that weird sleeping thing and you've been gone ever since. You left us no message, no note, and your apartment was empty. You dropped off the face of the planet. And then you show up dating Hatake Kakashi." He rested an arm on the table, challenging, "You hate ninjas."

Her fingers traced the old book, feeling the bumps of its tattered spine. "I was…severely sick after the sleeping thing. They don't know what caused it. It's taken this long to recover."

He took in her appearance, noticing her baggy clothes that fit her curves months ago. "Were you kidnapped or something?"

Rolling her eyes, she replied. "That's a bit melodramatic, Koshuu."

Crossing his arms, he snorted, "I'm not the one living with a celebrity jonin. For all I know you could have been kidnapped, injected with an experimental illness, and saved by Kakashi."

She actually bit back a laugh. “That’s absurd,” she replied. “It just…kind of happened when I had the concussion. Don't you have work to do?"

"You hated him when you had the concussion. You constantly complained about him the day I was there.”

“Things changed,” she sighed. “A lot of things changed.”

Koshuu scratched his chin for a moment. “It’s difficult, having you gone for so long. We were all worried, and now you’re back, dating him, and you don’t seem any happier.” His voice was soft as he asked, “Do you actually love him, or is it just convenient living together?"

Chiisai caught herself from falling out of the chair. Saliva went down the wrong pipe at the same time, causing her to let out an atrocious cough. "Look, -HACK- can we -HACK- change subjects?"

Koshuu came around and patted her hard on the back before she could protest. The pain now escalated and she lost her breath. She shoved her coworker away with a cringe. "Stop!"

He threw his hands up in frustration. "Well, excuse me for trying to help!"

"I fell on glass and -HACK- had to get stitches. Crappy pain killers," she forced air back into her lungs. "I think I'm bleeding."

"Shit," his eyes widened, "sorry. Do you want me to check?"

"No!" She bolted out the chair before he could touch her. Chiisai marched to the door, deciding it would be good to just lock herself in the bathroom until Kakashi arrived. Her eyes widened when she saw two sleeping children just six meters away at a table. She dug her nails into her arm to keep her awake as she backed up. Her hand flung the door shut and shakily said, "You know, maybe you should check. I'd hate to get blood everywhere."

Chiisai braced her hands on the table as Koshuu approached her from behind. Carefully, he lifted her shirt up. "I think this is the most physical contact I've had with you in all the three years working together."

"Just hurry up, alright?" His eyes were on her skin, and it unnerved her that this wasn't Kakashi. It almost felt wrong. "This is awkward as hell."

"Chiisai," his words were slow, "what happened to your cat?"

She froze, her mantra repeating: he didn't kill Tori. "He died while I was sick. Old cat, you know?"

Her shirt went farther up as he scanned the stitches. "I just- I keep having these dreams about him and you. It's more of a nightmare. They seem so real, and well…Yep, you're bleeding."

"Great," she swallowed unsteadily. Being with Kakashi had softened her stone exterior, and now she even let Koshuu touch her. She pointed, "Can you get that over there? I have a bottle of water on the table."

He didn't kill Tori.

She held the sides of her shirt as Koshuu ripped off a paper towel. His hand rested on the water bottle as his eyes lingered on her. "Chiisai," he exhaled. Her thoughts were so preoccupied with Tori she forgot about her visible stomach. Damn. She avoided his gaze and repeated, "Can you just get the water and clean up my back?"

He came around and pressed the wet towel against her skin. His thumb grazed over the edges of a scar. There was a sharp intake from Chiisai, her eyes widening at his warm and careful touch.

"Those scars-"

"It's none of your business," she snapped. Koshuu’s voice had almost cracked her facade, and she didn’t need any more tears. "You weren't supposed to see those." 

Koshuu said, "Are you anemic or something? You've soaked through the bandage!" He muttered a curse as the coldness left her back.

"You klutz," she looked back, "did you just drop it?"

"I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as your boyfriend," he huffed. 

He bent down to get the bloody cloth right when the door opened.

There was a moment of awkward silence as Kakashi took in the scene. Koshuu, who was currently crouched down Chiisai, blinked up at Kakashi. "Gahh!" He fell back away from her as the ninja strolled in.

"You did a fine job on these stitches. I'm bleeding again," she muttered evenly at him. Koshuu stood up, hesitant on what to do. Kakashi sighed. Something was always wrong with this woman. "And you didn't go to the bathroom because…?"

"I didn't want to disturb the sleeping children."

He eyed Koshuu before observing the blood trickling down her back. "You're going to have to stop taking aspirin. You're blood's too thin."

"Told you to eat kale." Koshuu glared at the woman.

Chiisai rolled her eyes. "Here we go again."

Koshuu crossed his arms. "What? It thickens the blood."

She responded, “Only you would know that."

Kakashi glanced from Chiisai to her coworker, who met his eye with the same force. Feeling the tension surfacing, Chiisai asked, "Can you tell Mizuki I’m heading out?"

"Uh…Yeah. See ya tomorrow." Koshuu glanced at her, his eye lingering where her scars were hidden. Then he closed the door behind him.

"You hate socializing, huh?" Kakashi pressed the wet towel on her back. "You seemed fine with him."

"Are you bothered that he helped me? It was either let myself bleed everywhere, have a seizure, or let Koshuu do it. What would you have logically picked?"

"Easy." He placed the towel in the trash and let her shirt fall back down. "Seizure."

"Shuttup." She turned to faced him. "He's the only one here who doesn't pity my fragile state," she said bitterly. Kakashi placed his hands on the table, confining Chiisai. His eye met hers as he whispered, "He's in love with you."

"Just because he helped-"

"It's the way he looks at you," Kakashi corrected softly. "And you're completely naïve." Koshuu had the same look in his eye a few months ago too, but Kakashi hadn't cared then. He didn't find her coworker a threat before. Not until now, when he saw the normalcy that Chiisai craved so much. It was a normalcy Kakashi could never provide, unlike Koshuu.

She stood nose to nose with him and glared, "Stop assuming you know everything. I'm not naïve and I'm not in love with him, if that eases your mind."

Two seconds of silence.

"Then who are you in love with?" He breathed.

Chiisai squeezed her eyes shut. A memory flooded her vision, which she thought at first was a dream.

‘"I love him!" Her mother screams. "How would you know anything?! You've never loved anyone and no one's ever loved you!"’

She pressed her fingers against his vest, pushing him away from her as she headed for the back exit. "I don't know what love is."

Kakashi appeared in front of her. She didn't meet his eye and only stared at his vest. "Oi." He flicked her forehead to get her attention. No, she wasn't going to sink into despair that easily.

"Hey," Chiisai scowled, "What was that for?!"

A book appeared in his hands, and he handed it to her. Her eyes scanned the familiar cover: Dreaming of Love. A smile snuck its way across her face as she replied, "So you found it." Kakashi shrugged it off and placed his hands behind his head. "I was going to give it to you yesterday but..."

"Because you knew I'd still be mad at you, right?" She eyed him.

He didn't answer the question. Instead, he offered, "You want Ichiraku's?"

She raised an eyebrow in his direction. Kakashi was being kind, and more than that, he was trying at whatever this relationship was. "You buying?"

"Eh," he sighed, "do I have a choice?"

"Not really."

They started towards Ichiraku's.

"Kakashi?"

"Hmm?" He glanced down at her.

She clutched the book to her chest. "Thanks."

He nodded towards her. Seeing her smile was the only thanks he ever needed.


	5. An Arranged Meeting

It was Friday, her first full day at work. To Kakashi, Chiisai started the day with her mind stuck somewhere else and she hadn't eaten anything before she left. She reassured him that it was only someone's dream that caused her loss of appetite. And with enough nagging, she was able to convince him that she didn't need an escort to and from work.

But that didn't stop him from following her. He was her bodyguard, after all, and even if she was in public something could still happen. So as he crouched on a rooftop, catching sight of Chiisai, Kakashi was perplexed. She had left earlier than the usual time, and now she went in the opposite direction of the library, towards the village outskirts.

He watched her walk out of a flower shop with a bag in hand. A breeze picked up, catching her hair. She pushed the strands back and headed down the street. Kakashi followed silently above, watching the way her body sunk into each step, causing her hips to sway. He smiled to himself, remembering when they first met. She still walked with the same confidence, her strides filled with purpose but her eyes never meeting anyone's. Chiisai's halted and her head shot up, causing Kakashi to duck behind a roof. She already rounded the corner by the time Kakashi snuck a look. He jumped across the next building, scanning for her familiar brunette head. Yep, there she was- raking a hand through her hair again.

There was a little girl talking to Chiisai now, pointing at the bag. Chiisai smiled at the girl's words and pulled a Suītopī out. She handed the child the flower, but Kakashi couldn't hear what she was saying over the usual street commotion. Suddenly, the girl's words made Chiisai grimace. Kakashi watched as the woman's face turned red and she crossed her arms. He was glad to know he wasn't the only one who annoyed the woman. The child giggled and tugged on Chiisai's jacket.

Chiisai's expression finally softened, and she allowed the child to grab her hand. The girl's quick pace slowed the farther they walked, her body hunching over like a weight placed on her shoulders. 

He watched from afar, making sure to stay hidden as Chiisai and the girl trudged through the cemetery. Chiisai bent down at an old gravestone, placing sweet pea flowers at its base. The child nodded her head and held Chiisai's hand once more, leading the woman down the rows of the dead. The rest of the flowers were handed to the girl, who placed them on a freshly dug grave. Kakashi's eye softened. This must be why she wanted to walk by herself, the reason she couldn't eat this morning. This was the dreamer Chiisai couldn't stop thinking about.

This time, Chiisai held onto the child's hand, comforting the girl as she said her final goodbyes.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Eight hours of work and Chiisai had successfully evaded two seizures. One by slamming a book down beside the dreamer, waking him up in a fright (which she found extremely satisfying). The second, by cutting her hand with a letter opener. Not the best tactic, but the pain got the job done. She never actually noticed the amount of people who slept in the public place. Now it was all she could focus on.

However, one seizure imprisoned her. It was a hell of a dream, and Chiisai managed to lock herself in the bathroom until the convulsions subsided. She tore herself out of it a minute in, but the mental strain knocked the breath out of her. After five minutes of coming to, it took a knock on the door for her to finally stand up and face life again. Koshuu could tell something was wrong and took the liberty of watching her the rest of the day. It was infuriating to have people constantly fretting over her like a child, especially Koshuu.

And now, even though she wished to go back to Kakashi’s apartment, Chiisai sat on a hospital bed. She needed to speak with Shizune, but the first thing the medic-nin did on entering was ordering Chiisai to strip. And here she sat, shirtless and in pain as Shizune removed some of the stitches. Apparently, Kakashi had to report Chiisai's condition, which meant keeping track of her seizures. Lucky her.

"You can't be hurting yourself just to get out of a seizure, Chiisai."

She stared down at the thin red line running across the palm of her hand. "I'd rather have a cut than two minutes of tremors."

Shizune shook her head. "Can you consciously pull out of one?”

"I'm working on it."

Her expert fingers worked along Chiisai's back, unthreading the stitches bit by bit. "Are you and Kakashi getting along?"

Chiisai’s thoughts shifted to the last time they had kissed back in the dreamworld. Her feet pressed into the other as she replied, “Also working on that."

"You’ve both lived alone for a long time. I’m sure it’s awkward having to share space.” Shizune shook her head and added, “He’s so particular about everything.”

“Tell me about it.”

Pink hair peeked through the door, bright eyes searching for a familiar face. "There you are." Sakura stepped in. "I found the medical file you were looking for."

"Thank you, Sakura." Shizune placed the bloody threads in the trash, tsking at her patient's inflamed skin. Chiisai turned her head to see green eyes flicker with recognition.

"Oh, you're-" Sakura quickly shut her mouth as a blush spread across her cheeks. Chiisai smiled at her in greeting. This was the same girl once on Kakashi's team, the one who dreamed about the Uchiha. Sakura was in love with a boy who would never return her affections, at least not until his revenge was complete. The poor girl didn’t know what she was in for.

"Sakura, since you're here, could you finish healing her? I have to get her medicine." Shizune stood up.

"Of course." Sakura handed Shizune the file as she hurried out the door. Sakura sat down in the chair as she observed Chiisai's wounds. Some injuries were partially healed, while other cuts swelled red. "How'd this happen?"

"Fell on glass. Then ripped some of the stitches. Probably ripped some more today," she sighed. Chiisai tightened her shirt around the front of her torso, making sure to hide as much scars as she could from the girl. Sakura didn't mind. She leaned forward and pressed a cool hand to Chiisai's skin. A green glow illuminated her features as she said, "So, you're Kakashi-sensei's girlfriend?"

"Yep, that's me." That's who she was now: Kakashi's girlfriend. Her shoulders relaxed as the jutsu healed her back. 

Sakura smiled and said, "I'm glad he's finally found someone like you. He looks happier."

"His happiness is hard to tell a lot of times."

The pink-haired kunoichi shook her head. "Oh no, you weren't here a couple of months ago. He avoided everyone and looked like someone had just died. We threw a surprise birthday party to help cheer him up, but that made it worse. I guess that was when you were so sick."

Her eyes widened. It was hard to believe she could have that effect on him. But his face a few nights ago when she was out for so long... "He's not a big fan of surprises." Wait, she had missed his birthday?

Sakura tilted her head and asked, "How did you two meet exactly?"

It felt so long ago. "I accidentally walked into him on the way home from work. And we ran into each other again at a bookstore. He suggested a book for me." Which sat in her bag next to her, still unfinished.

Her tone flattened and she frowned, "Was it a romance novel?"

"Yes," she smiled, "it's a cheesy romance novel. But I ended up getting attacked right after, and Kakashi was the one who saved me." Her dry voice turned into a whisper. "And then took care of me." She hadn't thought about it before, but why did Kakashi help her? He didn't know about the dream journals then. 

"That's so sweet! I mean, not that you were attacked," she corrected herself. "That must have been when he brought you in before. You had a concussion, right?" Sakura's hand moved down Chiisai's back, making sure to heal every bit of her wounds.

"Wait," her eyebrows furrowed, "he brought me to you? When was this?"

Her green eyes flickered upward, trying to remember. "Um, a bit before that sleeping incident I think. You don't remember much, do you? You did have a bad concussion. Was that what made you so sick?"

“In a way."

"If you don't mind me asking…Are you…uh, well," she whispered, "psychic?"

Her body stilled. "What do you mean?"

Sakura removed her hands and inspected her back again. "When you had that concussion, you were telling things about me that I had never told anyone."

Shit. "No, no, I'm not psychic. I'm not anything at all."

"It's okay," she replied quietly. "Kakashi-sensei told me not to tell anyone about you. You're secret's safe with me."

"But wait!" She tried to turn around. "That's not what I-"

"I'm back!" Shizune smiled with medicine in hand. "That looks good, Sakura!" The pink-headed ninja smiled up at her senpai before asking Chiisai, "Do you feel better?"

Just play cool and don't freak out over what Sakura said. Chiisai pulled her shirt back on and stretched. No strain in her back, no pain making her cringe. "It feels great. Thank you."

"No problem! Tell Kakashi-sensei I said hi!" She winked at Chiisai.

Chiisai smiled back at the kunoichi. Shizune walked on in as Sakura bounded out the door. "These pills will help balance your hormones- take two a day. I also have iron supplements for you. We’ll have you come back in a couple of weeks for a lab.” Shizune handed Chiisai the small paper bag. “You’ve progressed well with your recovery."

"Good.” Chiisai stood up from the white bed. "I need some positive reinforcement."

"Oh. One last thing before you leave."

Her hand halted on her bag. She raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "What's that?"

Shizune prepared for her friend's reaction, but she couldn't help smiling. "A weigh-in. You shouldn't look this paper thin." Chiisai hung her head and mumbled, "So much for positive reinforcement."

"Come on, short stuff!" Shizune grinned. "Good news is the bad news would only be to eat more! Kakashi will have to let you buy mochi."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Kakashi stood with his hands jammed into his pockets while gazing down at the Memorial Stone. Chiisai was with Shizune, so he had enough time for a short visit. The wind kicked up the fallen leaves, sending them in a new direction. The season had changed, sending a chill into the evening breeze.

But the Memorial Stone remained the same.

"Eh, Obito, I think this time I'm in over my head," he muttered. "You'd enjoy my frustration if you were here. It seems the Copy Ninja’s greatest weakness is a librarian." He shook his head at the thought. "I've messed up so many times in the past. Everyone I've loved is gone. I've forgotten how it feels to love again." He paused, as if waiting a reply. But the dark stone stood silent in the setting sun and the rustling leaves were the only sound.

"I don't want to make the same mistakes with her," Kakashi whispered. "I don't think I could let her go. She's intelligent, stubborn, and always glares at me. You'd think I was the bane of her existence, and I still can't help but try to make her happy. When I see her smile…" He shook his head once more, smiling to himself. "Obito, you'd be laughing knowing how soft I've gotten. I'm turning into you."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai shifted in the seat and stared out the window. Hospital lobbies never had comfortable chairs, and this building was no exception. She wasn’t supposed to go anywhere alone in public, and she had gotten out of her appointment ten minutes early. And Kakashi was no where to be found. 

Of course, he was always late.

And she had forgot his birthday. It shouldn’t upset her, but for some reason the thought had settled itself in a crevice of her mind. It would be absurd to give him a gift this late. But he had gotten her so many books. Maybe a nice dinner? No, his favorite dinner, and she would cook it and wash the dishes without complaints. What was it, broiled saury and miso soup? And eggplant. It was almost disgusting how healthy he was.

“Karasu Chiisai?”

Her head darted up to see a nurse approach her. Her palms braced the plastic armchairs as she stood. “Yes?”

“Shizune forgot to give you a vaccination. Would you mind coming back real quick?”

She nodded and grabbed her bag. Shizune had mentioned her lowered immune system. Her steps echoed on the linoleum as she followed the woman down a hallway and into a room. The nurse smiled and said, “Sorry about that. We’ll go ahead and get started.”

“No problem.” 

The nurse pushed Chiisai’s sleeve up and ripped open a alcohol wipe. Chiisai’s eyes wandered up to the nurses face. Short brunette hair, a straight nose, and black eyes. No dreams came to mind.

“How long have you been working here?” Chiisai asked.

“Oh, just for a few months. I came up here during the Sleeping Incident to help. Crazy what happened.”

Chiisai nodded. The nurse now had the needle in her hand, lifting it up to the light. Clear liquid slowly bubbled out of the thin tube and glinted under the blaring light. Chiisai watched it drip down the needle. 

“What vaccination is this again?”

The nurse didn’t respond. Chiisai’s eyes widened for a moment at the situation she had put herself in. “Oh, I think I left my wallet in the lobby.” She pushed herself off the chair, but the nurse shoved her back. 

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Chiisai opened her mouth to scream, but the nurse had her hand pressed against her mouth. Her skull pressed into the cushion, and she gazed up to see the nurse’s hair fade to a light orange, the white outfit replaced by an anbu uniform. Her fingers found the man’s wrist and pulled, trying to twist out of his grip. This was a well experienced ninja, and Chiisai screamed inside the palm of his hand as the needle sunk into her shoulder.

The doorknob turned, and hope flooded her chest as pain burst through her veins.

It was the clank of a cane that now had her heart beating faster. The older man shut the door behind him and turned to face her. Her vision blurred and her shoulders sagged as she watched him approach. This wasn’t good. Shit, this wasn’t good. 

What wasn’t good? She couldn’t remember, even when she blinked at the man now in front of her.

His voice echoed in her ears as she heard him say, “Hello, Chiisai. My name is Danzo. I have some questions for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suītopī= Sweet Pea flower. In Hanakotoba, the Japanese language of flowers, Sweet Peas mean "goodbye." (According to wikipedia)


	6. Suspicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is graphic content in this chapter! If you don’t like nightmares or blood, you may want to skip down to the “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII” mark. They are based on my own fears and nightmares, mixed with some potential shinobi PTSD.

She blinked into the darkness. How had she gotten here? A frown crossed her face as she tried to remember, to grab hold of some recognition. Hadn’t she been waiting on someone? And her surroundings had been white, blinding white. And uncomfortable.

There was no scenery in this place though, but it smelled slick with chemicals. It was wrong.

But she still had no memory of getting here. And the shadows around her had somehow darkened since the few seconds she had stood here.

No, she sensed it now. Nightmares, and a lot of them. At least she was in the dream world. She extended her hands before they could surface and isolated them in glass orbs. But they sizzled and dripped out of her clear creations, heading straight for her. That wasn’t normal.

Fine then. She breathed in deeply, and the nightmares entered her nostrils like smoke and settled in her lungs. Her eyes bulged at the pain, and her knees buckled as her stomach wretched. This was bad. This was wrong. They didn’t feel normal. No, she had to get out-

Spiders crawled over her body, burrowing into her as she let out a cry. She staggered backwards as their little legs wiggled beneath her skin, scurrying along her muscles. Chiisai grew frantic, her heart pounding as she slapped at her arms. Her foot slipped and she came crashing down through the floor. She fell, down, down, down into a black hole. Her brown hair whipped about her and her limbs grappled for any hold they could find. This abyss was endless, and she realized she didn’t know how long her body had tumbled through the air. Her pulse roared beneath her sternum, bursting from her chest the farther she traveled. She yearned to hit the bottom, rather splattering into the floor than suffering this infinite cycle.

Chiisai continued to descend, and pain shot through her mouth as her teeth slunk out of their sockets one by one, disappearing in the darkness. She tried to catch them, but they slipped between her fingers. The blood spilled from her lips, overflowing out her jaw and down her throat. Drops of red fell with her like rain. Chiisai choked and spat in a blind panic, the blood pouring out below her, gathering until a circle of crimson met her eyes. She plunged into the pool of blood. Her hands fought in a frenzy as she sunk beneath its depths, but the thick warm liquid filled her nostrils, the taste of iron consuming her senses. It pressed into her and filled her lungs. Gods, she was drowning in blood, and she was going to die like this.

A giant shuriken thrust into her back, throwing her out of the torture and into another. Relief flooded her for a moment as she landed on solid ground, surrounded by fresh air. But then the pain came, and Chiisai realized she had been pinned to the ground by the weapon. 

Another shuriken buried itself into her blood-soaked thigh, its sharp points slicing into a tendon as she forced out a breath. Her hands grabbed on to her leg, her lungs bursting with air as another weapon rammed into her shoulder. It was raining shurikens, and Chiisai's body quivered and writhed while the metal struck her over and over. Her scream was silent as the pain pierced her, and she didn’t know which blood was hers. She should be dead, dead, why wasn’t she already dead?

The shurikens disappeared. Chiisai staggered to her feet, and she watched in horror as tendrils of tattered skin peeled off of her, revealing the spiders coating her veins. In a daze, her eyes wandered forward to find graves surrounding her. What was left of her throat constricted. Tears flooded her eyes, leaving a trail down her blood-stained face.

It was like standing in front of the grave this morning with the girl. It was the same- so much sorrow, so much despair that hung like a cloud over the world. No, that girl was real. Chiisai was dreaming, yes, she absorbed these nightmares. She needed to get out of here. She needed to survive the rest of this and get back to her body. This wasn't real.

A kunai appeared in her hand and she hesitated. What would happen to the people’s minds if she woke herself up? The kunai dropped from her hand as she took a deep breath. She could accidentally take someone with her back to her body, and that couldn’t happen again. Chiisai didn’t even know whose mind she was in.

A hand shot out of the fresh dirt. She screamed and scrambled to her feet. The undead man erupted from the earth, half wrapped in soiled bandages. He clutched a kunai in a rotting hand, aiming for Chiisai. She stumbled back trying to escape, to get away. But the weapons had torn at her limbs and tissue. Her muscles detached like Velcro from her bones. The spiders spilled out of her, their sound of shrill pitter patters nicking at her brain. Her abdominal cavity then slid out bit by bit, ripping away and leaving a path of torn organs behind. A sob escaped her as she ran, and she choked on her tears. Her white bones slipped on her own intestines, and she plummeted through the ground.

She fell into a pit, the mud sucking her under. Her phalanges sank into the dirt, but she couldn’t get a hold. If only she had vocal cords to cry out, to get help. But the mud sploshed and bubbled as she moved, and that was the only sound heard in the hole.

Darkness covered her. The undead stood at the top as he transformed before her eyes. His skin sewed itself back together, the muscles reattaching with a sizzle. A member of the Uchiha clan stood before her, his tattered shirt rustling in the breeze. Blood and tears ran down his face, and he extended his hand. She started to reach for him, to get to him, but she found herself falling.

And falling.

And falling.

Back into the abyss.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Danzo flickered out of the room. His fingers tightened around the glass vial as he reappeared at the ROOT hideout. Fu and Torune followed behind him in the shadows, silent and alert.

It was so easy. Did Lady Tsunade not realize the situation she was in? It was absurd what little he had to do to get Chiisai alone with him. She had resisted at first, but the injection had ran its course. It would have been better if her chakra hadn’t been so hostile towards him. Fu wasn’t able to see all of her memories, but that could be fixed later down the road. He couldn’t believe what all she had done under Hiruzen. She and Itachi had been a powerful pair, it seemed, and he could use that information to his advantage. The Third had bested him by keeping her such a secret for so long, even after his death.

His cane clanked against the cement floor. Danzo held up the vial in his hand, watching the red liquid shine under the light. He still had connections to Orochimaru. Maybe he would be interested in Chiisai as well. After all, Danzo still needed more information before he could properly utilize her abilities, and Orochimaru still owed him a favor.

She would need more tests, of course. He would push her to her breaking point, and once she had crumbled, he would build her up piece by piece. He could rule the village from both the surface and the underground, control the roots and branches.

But it wouldn’t be as easy as this little achievement. No, there was one person that stood in his way.

And there was still much planning to do.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Her body lurched forward, her hands clawing up, up, up, out of the darkness around her. Sweat beaded her skin, her clothes sticking to her as she gasped for air.

Someone tightened his grip on her, and she fought against him, shoving and kicking. 

“Chiisai, I’m right here.” His voice was a calm whisper in her ear, and her movements slowed at the sound. She knew this voice. “I-Wha-?” Her sight sharpened enough to see the outline of his face, the dark blue of his mask. “I know you.” Why couldn’t she think of his name? 

For a moment, she saw the shock in the silver-haired man’s eye. His thumb brushed back a strand of her hair, searching her face for some sort of sign. Chiisai didn’t pull away from him, but rather leaned into his warmth. This man was safe at least, that much she felt. He lifted his headband up and asked, “How many eyes do I have open?”

She squinted up at him. “Your red is showing. So…two?”

He nodded. “Good.” He glanced over her body, and her hands fidgeted under his gaze. “Your chakra is very agitated.”

“What?” She cringed as she sat up. Pain shot in her back, of a giant shuriken digging into her skin, tearing through flesh and bone. Oxygen wasn’t coming in fast enough, and she was left gasping for air as the pain echoed throughout her body.

His hands were instantly around her, crushing her to his chest. The side of her face pressed into his vest, and she held on to him. Her heart beat in her ears, but the weight of him forced her diaphragm to slow.

“Shhhh,” he said, “I’m right here.” 

Her voiced dropped to a whimper. She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, “I can’t remember.”

“You had a seizure. You’re still at the hospital,” he said softly.

Chiisai shifted her gaze, taking in the stiff bed she sat on and the white walls around her. It smelled like disinfectant. “I’m at the hospital.”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I’m going to use my Sharingan on you, alright?’

Sharingan. She had feelings for a man who possessed the dojutsu. But didn’t he have dark hair? 

The silver-haired ninja pulled away, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck. He peered into her eyes, revealing the pathway into her mind.

Her muscles stiffened as memories flickered behind her eyelids. It was a cornucopia of nightmares, writhing and twisting their way inside her. It was happening again, and she was falling, and why was there so much much blood? It was still warm and clung to her like a second skin, and it was in her nose and mouth, suffocating her and seeping into her lungs. Was this what it was like to die? Drowning was supposed to be peaceful.

It was then that her chakra flared up and pushed against her, destroying the visions in a flurry of light. The cloud that had thickened in her memories dissipated like smoke, and she finally blinked with clarity. Chiisai took in a deep breath as her muscles finally relaxed. She breathed raggedly, "I've become a damsel in distress, Farm Boy."

His grip on her tightened. “You remember me then?”

Chiisai frowned up at Kakashi, who seemed to be in shock for some reason. “Of course,” she replied. “How can I forget that droopy eye of yours?” Her gaze shifted to the room, and she opened her mouth, closed it, and then said, “Although I don’t remember coming into this room. Wasn’t I just in the lobby?”

He shook his head and wiped her hair away so he could see her face. "You had a seizure and absorbed multiple nightmares at once. When you awoke just now, you had no idea who I was." He paused before adding, “Your chakra just pushed me out of your mind.”

Chiisai blinked up at him and asked, “Really?”

He sighed and said, “Yes, and it has me worried. The hospital may not be the best place for you, considering the shinobi recovering from missions. I’ll need to report this, but we should leave before you have another. I don’t know where Shizune is.”

Her hand brushed over his as they sat together, their foreheads centimeters apart. “I’m…confused. I only remember pain, and blood, and-" Chiisai squeezed her eyes shut, shoving the memories down. Her fingers curled around his as she nodded. “Let’s go home.”

Kakashi pressed his masked lips to her forehead and smiled as he drew back. 

“Why are you smiling?”

Kakashi held her hand as she stood with him. “You said home.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Pakkun sniffed the sleeping woman’s feet and lifted his head to the ninja. It was nighttime but a lamp was on, highlighting the curves of the woman’s face. “Who’s she?”

Kakashi shifted in the chair and said, “Chiisai. She’s…a friend.”

The ninken hopped off the bed, his soft paws landing silently on the hardwood. “She smells like you. And you’ve never had a woman sleep in your bed.” 

Kakashi stared across the room at Chiisai. She at least looked peaceful in her sleep. It was a relief to see, but who knew what would happen when she awoke. The incident today had him more afraid than he’d like to admit. Chiisai had showered for a long time when they got home. Her skin was bright red when she walked out of the bathroom, as if she had tried to burn it off. “It’s complicated.”

“Wait til the rest of the ninken hear this,” Pakkun huffed. “Anyway, what’s the problem?”

He leaned forward in the chair and rested his elbows on his knees. There were many problems, he wanted to reply. Instead, he said, “I need you to report to Shizune. Ask if she took Chiisai’s blood, ask what nurses she allowed Chiisai to see. Tell her Chiisai had a seizure at the hospital and woke up with memory problems. I wasn’t there to witness the seizure, and it’s suspicious that it wasn’t reported to Shizune. She may need to check the camera footage.”

Pakkun’s ear twitched at his tone. “You look worried, Kakashi. Is she sick?”

“Concerned would be a better term. And yes, in a way.” 

It was Kakashi’s tone that convinced him. “Yep,” Pakkun nodded, “you’re worried. She’s definitely more than a friend.” His gaze shifted back to the dark haired woman. She looked so small and fragile.

Kakashi ran a hand through his hair and replied, “It’s that obvious, eh? Perhaps that’s a good thing.”

“Well,” the dog said, “you’ll have to let us properly meet her. We’ve been hoping you’d find a mate for years now.”

His head tilted to the side. “Mate is a strong word, Pakkun.”

“Whatever you say,” he shrugged. “Just be careful.”

The wooden chair creaked as he stood. “Why?”

Pakkun hopped up on the window seal. His voice remained gruff as he said, “She looks like a cat person.”


	7. Nightmares and Mochi

Kakashi lay beside Chiisai, trying to keep one eye opened for a bit longer. It was so rare to see Chiisai wearing such a peaceful expression. Plus, she wasn’t able to complain about being the small spoon.

But his thoughts lingered on earlier today. Her chakra had forced him out of her mind when he had used his Sharingan, but he had enough time to see the nightmares. It reminded him of Itachi’s Nightmare Realm. It was a torture to watch, and he didn’t want to think of what she had been through, of the pain that felt so real to her in those moments. 

Chiisai deserved a far better life than what she had been dealt with.

He hugged her closer and finally closed his eye. She wasn't the only thing on his mind. The inside of her of her arm was slightly bruised, and a small wound had formed from a needle point. And there was another small spot on her shoulder. Pakkun’s return had verified his fears. Shizune hadn’t drawn blood from Chiisai, or had given her a shot. And though there was no evidence, Kakashi suspected that it was Danzo’s doing. But she had no memory of it, and her chakra wouldn’t let him see her past. 

Kakashi shifted his attention back to Chiisai. Her breathing pattern changed. She let out a moan, her muscles tightening against him. He was about to shake her awake when pain slit across the back of his mind. He pulled away from her, grabbing his head as the pain worsened. Visions flashed, terrible images that filled his heart with foreboding. His eye flew open, but all he could see was blood.

He was drowning in blood.

His hand fumbled to find Chiisai. He needed to wake her up, but he suddenly felt so weak. Was his chakra depleting? That was absurd. That would mea-

"Chii…" he failed to say. Skeleton hands dragged him down, his lungs filled with blood. Thick maroon fluid made him grow faint, as if it were draining the life out of him. All the while the skeletons cackled, tearing at his clothing to drag him farther. He yanked out of their grasp, but their gleaming red eyes held him in place. Their jaws opened simultaneously, shouting, "You will never be free!"

Desperate for breath, Kakashi forced himself into awareness. The images lessened enough for him to see reality every few seconds. He bent over her, his body shaking. He found the side of her face, and in one violent motion slammed his hand across her cheek.

Chiisai's head flung the other way. Her eyes flew open and she took in a harsh breath. Kakashi collapsed back on the bed, panting and covered in sweat. 

The pain on her face momentarily made her forget the nightmare. She stared at Kakashi, at his chest’s rapid fall and rise. "I did that to you, didn't I?" She asked in a whisper.

Kakashi stared at her bright red cheek. He brought his hand up to her face, but she pressed herself against the wall. She shook her head, a sadness seeping into her voice. "I could have killed you." Despite her protest, he placed a hand on her face, his thumb tracing over her throbbing cheek. 

“But you didn’t.” His words were laced with remorse as he stared at her wound. "It’s going to leave a mark."

"No, you don’t understand,” she said. “I really could have killed you. My body thinks I'm dying when I have a nightmare, and in order to keep me alive, it steals chakra from those around me." She closed her eyes and pulled away from him. “That's why my powers were sealed. If I can’t control it, people may die."

Kakashi brushed her tears away. His calmness eased into his voice. "This has happened before? I thought it was your father.”

She shook her head. "It’s both. It, he- I don’t know, it’s difficult to remember. But I know I hurt someone, and I killed my neighbors.” Her finger traced over her collarbone under her shirt. 

“Why didn’t you tell us this?” He kept his voice calm, but his frustration steadily grew. She still didn’t trust him. Maybe he shouldn’t blame her, considering how she had grown up. But she had to learn if this relationship, or whatever this was, was going to work.

She shook her head, and the tears continued to fall down her face and drip on her lap. “I don’t know. I-I don’t want you to be afraid of me. And I thought I had control, and that I didn’t need to tell you. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll need to report this to Lady Tsunade tomorrow.” Kakashi watched Chiisai rub her eyes. He needed to process all the information, see if there was any information on the seal. Kakashi sighed and asked, “You want a glass of milk?”

She nodded. “I don’t know how you’re taking this calmly.”

He shrugged and rose to his feet. “I’ve seen a lot of strange things in my life,” he shrugged. “And it’s my job to protect you, and I failed to do so. I could have brought you out of the seizure if I had been there today. This never would have happened.” He shouldn’t have visited the Memorial Stone for so long. If he had been there sooner, this may not have happened at all.

Chiisai followed him in to the kitchen and flipped the lights on. She stood at a distance as Kakashi opened the fridge. "I'm so sorry. Are you sure you’re alright?"

"I'm fine."

She shook her head. "You don’t have to play the cool ninja. I know I took a lot of your chakra."

"I've been through worse, Chiisai," he smiled. "I'll be alright." He pulled the milk out and closed the fridge. His eye lingered on the discolored blotch spreading on her cheek. "You might need some ice for that."

Chiisai rolled her eyes. "I've been through worse, Farm Boy," she teased. "I'll be alright."

"Copying the Copy Ninja? Not very original." He sat the milk on the sink and turned to her, but she drew back, her eyes wide. Fear grew in his mind. Her father used to abuse her. Did she see Kakashi in the same light now? Kakashi lifted a hand towards her and she flinched in response. Oh God, Chiisai couldn't stand him touching her now. Kakashi struggled to ask, "Are you afraid of me?"

"No! That's not it," she said quickly. She looked down at the floor and added, "I just hurt you, and I’m surprised you're talking to me, let alone wanting physical contact. Slapping me again maybe, but affection wise it doesn’t make sense.” She muttered, “You don’t make sense.”

"Chiisai," he said seriously, "you're hurting me by not letting me touch you. And it hurts knowing that's what you think of me." He cupped her chin, tilting her head up to look her in the eye. "Do you really believe me to be so cold-blooded?" Kakashi the Cold-Blooded Killer. That had been his name for so long. If she thought of him that way…

Her heart sunk at his tone. "No, no I don't." Her voice was a mere whisper. "The last time I did this to someone..." Chiisai pulled her shirt down, revealing a thin line below her collarbone. Tilting her head back, she said, "This scar is where I got stabbed because of it. It was out of self-defense, so I can't really say much. I'd probably done the same thing." Chiisai shook her head and continued. "I'm sorry I made you think that. I'm just not used to someone like you. I should be thanking you instead of rambling on like this."

Kakashi was taken aback by her response. He had been selfish when asking that. It never occurred to him what happened to her before, let alone her getting stabbed and her appearing fine with it. She thought she deserved such pain. Incredibly, she was thanking him for not stabbing her.

"You don't have to thank me." Kakashi bent down to study the scar. It was a faint mark, most likely from a small blade. A tanto? Strange; tantos weren't used for stabbing. Why had he never noticed this before? This woman bore scars like ornaments on a Christmas tree. She attempted to step away from him, self-conscious at his looming presence. "Farm Boy, you're really starting to invade-"

He met her eyes. Feeling a need for a mood change, Kakashi hoisted her up over his shoulder, proving just how fine he was. She gasped as her hands hit his back. He carried her to the refrigerator and she kicked out in anger. "I did not consent to this!"

Even without half his strength he was far stronger than Chiisai. He sighed and wrapped another arm around her thighs. "You're not going to sleep anytime soon, are you?"

She rolled her eyes and propped her elbows on his back. "Unless you knock me out with your Sharingan again. Can you put me down now?"

Kakashi shook his head. Their conversations always felt dark in the end. Pain was what they collectively shared, but Kakashi aimed to fix that. She deserved all the happiness in the world, but it looked like happiness would just have to start here. Kakashi appeared nonchalant as he said, "Well, I was going to give you something better than milk, but with that attitude, I’m not sure I want to now."

She frowned and asked, "This isn’t some innuendo, is it?”

He opened the freezer. "Oi, and you call me the pervert." Kakashi pulled out a box and said, "I just happened to buy some mochi ice cream yesterday."

"Mochi?" Her eyes lit up. Like a child, Chiisai immediately tried to snatch up the package in his hand. Kakashi chuckled, amusement crossing his face as he held it away from her. It was hard to fathom that this woman possessed the power to kill.

"You’re such a tease!" She leaned farther, but Kakashi only tightened his arm around her. 

"You'll have to get out your predicament first," he smiled. “And I hardly think you can get out of my grip.”

“Well, then you leave me no choice, Farm Boy.” With nothing to lose, Chiisai reached down, grabbed his right buttock, and squeezed.

His eye shrunk in its socket and his pelvis tilted forward in response. Kakashi loosened his hold, and she fell off his shoulder and victoriously hit the floor.

"I can't believe you did that." Kakashi gaped down at her, astonished at what she had done. He rubbed his backside, making a mental note to induce this frisky side out of her more often. The little smile playing on her lips was damn sexy.

Her cheek throbbed when she talked, but she couldn't stop herself. Chiisai snickered, "Didn't expect that, did you?"

"That grin makes me think you enjoyed that a bit too much, Chiisai." He raised an eyebrow. It was great to hear her laugh. "Do I get to return the favor?"

Her hands shielded her backside as she said defensively, "No, you don’t. Besides, I think I made best of my predicament. I believe I just earned that ice cream."

Kakashi studied her, his smile fading the more his eye lingered on the bruise. He had to do it of course, but seeing it on her face left him filled with regret. Covering his shame, the jonin quickly slipped back into his lazy demeanor.

He shrugged. "Can't argue with that." Kakashi dropped the box into her hands. She ripped it open, eager for what lay inside. Placing his hands behind his head, Kakashi said dryly, "Eh, given the circumstances, I find it permissible for you to indulge in a treat or two, even if it is 1 am."

She snorted. "Permissible?" She pulled out the tray. Her eyes filled with greed and she grinned, "I'm eating every last one of these babies."

"I can't see how you eat these," he grimaced.

"Because they're delicious," she said matter-a-factly.

"They're also horrible for you," He replied.

She was already on her second ice cream ball and their coldness dulled the ache. "How did you know about this anyway?"

Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets. "Your freezer was full of them when we cleaned out your apartment.”

“Koshuu bought most of them,” she said. “He brought them over after you told him to watch me. You know, when I had that concussion. Wow,” she whispered. “I think my memory is coming back. Why did you ask him to watch me, anyway?”

Kakashi coughed, startling her. “Let’s not linger on past events, shall we?” He prayed she wouldn’t remember the shower scene. That would ruin all trust she had in him. “You still want a glass of milk?”

“Yesh,” she replied with her mouth full.

He grimaced again at the sound of her reply. “That’s disgusting .”

She swallowed and frowned up at him. “Are you getting me a plastic cup?”

“Just a safety precaution,” he said. He opened the carton and poured the milk. “It has kittens on it. I thought you’d like it.”

Chiisai pulled the plastic tray further out of the box. “You make me sound as if I’m five years old.”

He glanced down at her, sitting cross-legged on the floor and shoving mochi ice cream in her mouth. “I wonder sometimes,” he said under his breath. In a louder voice he said, “The plastic dishware is a necessary precaution.”

She could see what Kakashi was trying to do, and she was grateful for it. The fact that he wasn't mad about the nightmare…He reminded her of Itachi. Kakashi was always trying to take care of her and all the while she was only making his life more difficult. He deserved some type of treat too, one small thing to lessen the weight on his shoulders. "So,” she said, “would you want to do something since we’re up?"

"Like what, grab your butt?" Kakashi placed the carton back in the fridge. “I wouldn’t mind doing that.”

She scowled and popped another sweet in her mouth. "No. We both are stressed. We should find a way to relax.”

“I think grabbing your butt would relax me very much. And can you not chew with your mouth full?” Naruto always talked with his mouth full too.

Gulping down the mochi, she furrowed her brows and replied, “Pervert.”

“You started it.”

Chiisai stuffed two more ice cream balls in her mouth before throwing the empty tray in the trash. Water trickled from the faucet as she washed her hands and dried them. She swallowed before replying, “I have an idea.”

Chiisai turned out the light and sauntered into the living room. The taste of the sweets remained on her tongue, but now her face hurt even more. Kakashi watched her pick out a book before plopping on the couch. The woman patted the seat beside him, gesturing him to sit.

He watched her for a moment, his eyes lingering on her face. Without a word, Kakashi left the room. Chiisai's eyes widened. Her heart sunk, her brain unable to rationalize his action. Hadn’t they just been flirting?

She had made a mistake. Of course he wouldn't like this. Who would enjoy spending time with someone that just tried to kill them? She was naïve and had let her emotions get the best of her. He had tried to be nice, but now it seemed he couldn't go on with the façade any longer. Why had she let herself get so attached so easily?

This was a mission after all. It wasn't real.

Her head darted up when he reentered. He stopped midway. Kakashi couldn't take his eye off her expression. "What's wrong?"

And ice pack. He had left to get her ice.

"Nothing," Chiisai replied quickly. It was a good thing her tear ducts were already swollen, otherwise she would've cried.

Kakashi sat next to her, pressing the pack gently to her face. "You can't hide everything from me, Chiisai. I know you're in pain."

"Thank you, Kakashi."

Using his real name surprised the ninja, more so from the effect it had on his heart. She was cracking every wall he had built up over the years without even trying to. This was unfamiliar territory with him. He never thought he could be with someone, not after all he'd been through. But with her...She had seen the darkest moments of his life through his dreams. She had absorbed his nightmares, felt what he felt. And Chiisai still believed him to be good. Her compassion was too much; it made his heart ache for her.

He thought, Obito, is this how you felt with Rin?

"Kakashi?"

"Hmm?" He smiled at her. "Now, what did you want to do?"

She took the ice pack from Kakashi and leaned against him. In her other hand was Icha Icha Paradise.

"I hope you don't expect me to read this aloud," he croaked.

Chiisai laughed at the blush visible on his face. "I'd figure we'd read it together silently." She held the ice to her cheek. "This is one of your favorite books, correct?"

"Yes, but I thought you hated the main character."

"You managed to change my opinion." She leaned back against his chest. Noticing her struggle between the book and the ice pack, Kakashi took the book from her grasp. He sighed, kissed the top of her head, and opened the book to the first page.

For the next few hours, neither one of them thought about Danzo or the nightmares. They were simply two people caught up in a novel, laughing and making remarks to each other, and blushing with embarrassment during other, more passionate, scenes.

Having two of his favorite things together though, well, Kakashi was content with sitting here for the rest of his life.


	8. Speculation

The couple stood side by side in the Hokage's office. They looked comfortable with each other, barely a hair's width apart. Lady Tsunade eyed the two, thankful to see them getting along. "Good morning everyone." They nodded, mumbling a half-hearted reply. Both appeared tired, especially Chiisai. 

Chiisai said, “I thought I was unable to meet you in person.”

“Unfortunately, we have matters to discuss. It could not be avoided.” The Hokage took a second glance at her, noting the discoloration on her cheek. "What happened to your face?"

Chiisai's eyes widened. She held her hand over the bruise and whispered to Kakashi, "I thought you said my make-up covered it."

Kakashi glanced down at her and corrected, "I said it looked better."

Chiisai elbowed him and mumbled, "You're no help." She had walked through the village looking like this. No wonder people stared even more than usual.

"Well?" Tsunade said expectedly. So much for them getting along.

Chiisai looked away and muttered, "There was an unseen complication."

The Hokage raised an eyebrow. The blonde could see the outline faintly on Chiisai's face, and stairs were not likely the culprit. "It looks as if you were punched."

Kakashi sighed. "I take responsibility."

She rose in her chair, her hands curling into fists. "Hatake Kakashi," Tsunade growled, "are you saying you hit her?"

Chiisai stepped forward before the Hokage could do anything. "It was my fault. It was an accident." It felt weird wanting to cover for Kakashi. How had she changed so much when it came to him? Two weeks ago she hated the thought of being with the ninja all the time. But now, she wanted to be near him. Shit, she had even kissed him. But she had been so emotionally exhausted, and then she got up caught in the moment, and the way his lips tasted...Oh no, she even grabbed his…What the hell was wrong with her?

She clutched her head, trying to shake the alarming thoughts out. Kakashi, noticing this, placed a hand on the small of her back. He whispered, "You okay?" Chiisai pulled his hand off of her, glaring up at the jonin who made her heart so damn confused. What she needed was time away from him. "I'm fine." It came out more abrasive than intended. Kakashi frowned but kept quiet, not wanting to potentially anger any woman in the room.

The blonde rubbed her temples. "I suggest you two start making sense very soon. I don't have time for this."

Kakashi and Chiisai glanced at each other. Chiisai spoke first. "I had a nightmare. My body thought I was dying so it forced its way into Kakashi's mind. He had to wake me up before I took all of his chakra. It’s a reflex, per say. Like trying to breathe while drowning."

This surprised both Tsunade and Shizune. "How is that possible?"

She shrugged, "I’m not sure." She glanced at everyone and added, “I guess it’s not that normal.”

Kakashi spoke. "No, it’s not.” His gazed settled on the Hokage. “I take full responsibility of the situation.”

“Why would you take responsibility?” Chiisai asked. “It’s not your fault I had a nightmare because of a seizure.”

Everyone glanced at each other now, and Chiisai frowned. “I’m missing something.”

Shizune was the one to reply, “The hospital cameras show you following a nurse from the lobby and down a hallway. Unfortunately, the hallway camera malfunctioned, so we’re not sure exactly what happened. But even I can see from here that someone drew blood from your arm yesterday.”

The librarian frowned and glanced at her arm.

“The other one,” Kakashi said.

She brought up her other arm to see the slight discoloration. “I didn’t even notice that.”

“It was reported that you also have a mark on your shoulder.”

Her eyes widened. “And that explains the soreness. Wait,” she shook her head, “I don’t understand. Did everyone know about this except me? Wait, why don’t I remember any of this?”

“We believe it was Danzo,” Lady Tsunade aside. “We’re going to examine you after this meeting and see if there’s any traces of whatever they put inside you. We’ll also have Inoichi see if he can access your memories.”

Chiisai’s hand gripped her shoulder as she turned to Kakashi. “You didn’t tell me any of this.”

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Who’s the one keeping secrets now?” She glared up at him.

Before he could reply, the Hokage cleared her throat. “Chiisai, I would also like to thank you for catching the Iwagakure spies. They were found unconscious close to a watchtower. I’m assuming that was your doing.”

“Oh. Yeah.” She scratched her head and said, “I was going to let Kakashi know, but then the nightmare happened. Sorry.”

“Do not apologize. I would ask that you keep your eye out in the dream world for more. We just found out they were after information concerning the cause of the sleeping incident. You are in more danger than ever it seems.”

“Great.” Chiisai gritted her teeth.

The Hokage wasn’t finished. “I’ve been going through the Third’s files. There’s no mention of you or any seal in question, and it concerns me.”

Chiisai’s voice softened at her stark tone. “He created it specifically for my powers. It’s possible he destroyed any evidence to protect me. I never asked him about it.”

Kakashi asked, “Do you not remember?” 

She frowned, "you're supposed to remember getting sealed?”

The Hokage raised an eyebrow, suspicious of the woman in front of her. "You mean you don't recall at all?"

The librarian closed her eyes, but pain rushed at her when she tried to find the memory. "I mean, the Third sealed me. I remember crying when I woke up. I asked where-" She paused, unable to finish the sentence.

"What else?" Her brown eyes were threatening.

Running her hands through her hair, Chiisai mumbled, "Itachi. He helped seal me. He wasn’t there when I woke up, and he promised he would.” Her voice dropped. 

Kakashi gaped at the woman beside him. "That is highly problematic."

She held her hands up. "We were friends once. It’s possible if I-”

“Don’t even finish that thought,” Kakashi interrupted. “It’s not an option.”

Lady Tsunade nodded, “I agree with Kakashi. You will not seek Itachi out. He’s too dangerous, and we cannot let his organization discover your existence.”

Chiisai didn’t meet either of their gazes. “Understood.”

Kakashi rubbed his temple and didn’t reply. Her phrasing on Itachi showed that she somehow still cared for him, and that wasn’t good. Itachi was a genius, and it wouldn’t take much for him to put the sleeping incident and Chiisai together. Six Paths, he couldn’t protect her from Itachi by himself. And he was already failing at protecting her from Danzo. And now Iwagakue had gotten involved.

“I need to talk to Kakashi in private,” Tsunade said. "Shizune, take her to Inoichi." The blonde turned her attention back to Chiisai. "That seal must be in your memories. Itachi is not an option."

Shizune guided Chiisai out the door. "Let's go, short stuff," the brunette smiled. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at Shizune, curious on how she could get away with calling Chiisai that. Tsunade waited until they were gone to speak. "This isn’t good. Has Chiisai ever told you anything about her past?"

He spoke slowly, recalling what had learned while fighting her father. "Her powers began at a young age, which made her mentally unstable. From what I gather, her parents took advantage of her abilities throughout the years. She was mentally and physically abused, and she suffered from self-harm as well. She blames herself for her parents' deaths, and her powers were only made aware to Hiruzen then. Itachi also discovered her abilities. It seems the two have some sort of bond. I can only guess they worked on missions together.”

Tsunade massaged her temples. "They would have made an excellent pair, I’m sure.”

He wasn’t sure what to make of the statement. Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets. "She mentioned she was sealed because she couldn’t control her abilities. It seems better now, but I fear that we may need the seal in the future."

"We can’t have Itachi near her.” Tsuande’s tone was serious. “If the Akatsuki is aware of her, then we’re in more trouble than we realize. Everyone will be after her.”

"I understand." Kakashi faintly recalled Kuroi telling him the exact same thing. Kuroi obviously knew more about Chiisai then they did. Her father's last words echoed in Kakashi's mind.

‘"You may have defeated me, but it's not over. Your power will slowly consume you until someone else comes after it. You will never be free," he smiled grimly. "Your reality will make you suffer as long as you live."’

Tsunade's hands found some papers, and she absentmindedly straightened them. "I'm ashamed to say our plans of hiding Chiisai's abilities have failed miserably, and it's not even been a month." She sighed. "Danzo must have been suspicious of her longer than we perceived."

"It seems so."

She glanced back at Kakashi. "The whole point of the pretend relationship was to throw Chiisai off his trail. But now that he knows, your cover is no longer necessary." She clasped her hands together. "Shizune has offered to be the mediator between Chiisai and me."

He blinked in surprise. Her brown eyes met his dark one as she said, "I can have ANBU placed for her protection. I'm giving you a chance to back out of this assignment. I know I've put you under a great deal of stress, especially forcing you to live with someone. Frankly, I thought Danzo would overlook a romantic relationship."

His gaze found the window. "I see."

"I thought you'd be excited, Kakashi. I'm sure you've missed going on missions. I don't think you've been on a real one since Chiisai's coma." Tsunade studied the jonin in front of her, curious about his clouded expression. "I will give you time to think it over. This option will remain available. You will, however, have to go on a mission eventually. You're one of the best ninjas Konoha has."

He merely nodded, "I understand. Does Chiisai know?"

"No, she does not. I've left the decision to you."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Long time no see, Inoichi."

The burly man smiled down at her. "It's nice to see you in your own body this time."

"Yeah," she waved it off, "I wasn't a big fan of white hair." Shizune glimpsed the two, speculating what they were laughing about. Inoichi stood at the head of the table, eyeing the women curiously in the small room. "Am I looking into your memories?"

Shizune began. "Lady Tsunade requests you find the memory of Chiisai being sealed, as well as memories from yesterday."

He nodded. "It shouldn't be a problem."

Chiisai sat in the chair, fidgeting with her hands. "Before you look into my mind, I want to warn you. Kakashi tried to look inside my head with his Sharingan and my chakra threw him out."

"Last time it was sucking people in, now it's throwing people out." Inoichi shook his head with a smile. "Very fickle, your mind is. Well, let's see what Kakashi was talking about." He placed a hand on her head. "Relax your mind." 

Chiisai frowned and said, "Wait, can I ask you a question?"

He opened his blue-green eyes but didn't remove his hand. "Yes?"

"Can someone block off their mind completely from someone, even if it's dreams?"

"Blocking off their mind is a definite yes. Some ninja are even able to hide their chakra trail." He paused. "Your abilities are interesting. They’re similar to my own jutsus." He joked, "You're not from the Yamanaka Clan, are you?"

"Nope," she choked out, "I just have weird dream powers."

Inoichi said, "I see. Let’s get started then." He concentrated his chakra and slipped inside her mind. Her brain floated in front of him, and he hastily got to work. Recent memories were easily accessible, and he set to work unveiling yesterday’s events. His eyes widened at the nightmares. The edges of that time period blurred, which was clear evidence of a genjutsu. He caught a glimpse of an anbu uniform and orange hair. He instantly recognized the Yamanaka. Danzo was definitely involved then. He went deeper inside her memories and saw the Yamanaka again. Fu had attacked her in the dream world as well.

Inoichi probed deeper, skipping years of her life as he searched for the seal information.

A white light appeared, shining brighter the more he peered into her mind. He stopped, shielding his eyes as he stood before it. It blocked off a part of her memories and stood as a roadblock to the rest. It buzzed like an electric fence, its aura sending jitters through him. Inoichi attempted to demolish it with several techniques, but this wall was pure chakra and impervious to his advances. The barrier pulsed louder as he tried to break it, until finally, after one powerful jutsu, the noise stopped.

Inoichi blinked, noting the light dimming. Cautious, he stepped forward and touched the wall with his fingertip. Ah, another seal. Suddenly the wall blared back to life, ten times brighter than before. It retracted slightly before blasting Inoichi out of her mind in one giant wave.

He let out a grunt and was flown back to the ground. The force caused Chiisai to fling back in the chair, and she crashed to the floor. Inoichi was limp for several moments. Shizune knelt beside him and shook him awake. Inoichi rubbed his head as he sat up. He whispered, "I've fought mental blocks and traps in many minds, but I've never seen anything like that."

There was a knock on the door as someone asked what the commotion was about. The two ignored it, too distracted by the situation.

"Chiisai." Shizune now knelt over her, shaking her shoulders. "Inoichi, what happened? Why isn't she waking up?"

Another knock sounded, but neither seemed to hear it. Inoichi crouched beside Shizune, studying the unconscious woman. "I don't know. There’s another seal in her mind, and her chakra is covering it." 

The door finally flew open. "What's going on?" Tsunade stormed in with Kakashi behind her. The two looked down at Shizune and Inoichi. Chiisai lay sprawled out between them, and she wasn't responding to Shizune's voice. Tsunade closed the door as Kakashi made it to Chiisai.

Inoichi stood and muttered, "Apparently I just experienced the same thing you did."

Kakashi nodded as he came down into a crouch. "Yes, but she should be awake by now." The jonin picked her up gingerly, shaking his head as he grumbled, "Always a hassle, this one. She better wake up soon this time."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

An ache resonated behind her eyelids. She moaned and opened her eyes. Light hit her, and she blinked several times. "Aw, c'mon," Chiisai groaned. She stood up and gathered her bearings. She remembered Inoichi, and there was a bright flash. And now she was here. In the dream world.

Chiisai changed the setting, making it more dull. "That's better." She held out her hand. A map sprouted upward as she let her mind hook onto the current dreams of the villagers. Each dream appeared in a bubble, showing what was happening like a Television screen. She noticed Inoichi's mind flicker on and off until finally it popped out of the dimension. It seemed their encounter had thrown him into the dream world for a bit.

Replicating her father's work had benefited her, but she hated thinking that. How could her father know more about her powers than she did? It was like she was learning how to ride a bicycle all over again even though it should already be a second instinct. None of it made sense. A piece of the puzzle was clearly missing.

In truth, it scared her to know what she could be capable of. She didn't want to be like her father, and she feared her powers just might turn her into that type of person. Here in the dream world, she felt like she had a purpose. Some dreams were special, and their outcomes could change the future of a person. Chiisai wanted to help them, to guide them in a positive direction. But she didn't want to make the same mistake like she did with her mother. One simple sentence out of her mouth could influence them in ways she couldn't fathom. So many people were hurting, and she couldn't stand to see them suffer alone. Like that little girl. Her mother had died, and her father was constantly away on missions. Her dreams were so sad, and she was so young.

The dream bubbles vanished at her command. All it would take was a kunai in the heart to wake her up. But one thing needed to be done first.

One single mind appeared before her. Chiisai gazed up at what she summoned. Why had she never thought about this before?

This dream bubble stood larger than the others. Its entrance was sealed shut, its door bordered with locks. Colorful chakra emanated from it, adding another layer of protection.

It was the gateway to her mind.


	9. Chapter 9

Chiisai was alone when she awoke.

The person who snuck into people's minds just got kicked out of hers. Chiisai thought it profoundly ironic, if only it weren't so sad.

She rose out of the cot, squeezing her eyes shut until her head stopped hurting. Hastily, she stood. The inside of her elbow had been bandaged, so at least they had already taken her blood. 

What was this, a spare room? Chiisai made it to the door and opened it. Yes, she was still somewhere in the main building. Maybe she hadn't been out that long. There had to be someone watching her. After all that happened, would they really leave her by herself? Chiisai tiptoed out of the small room and closed the door. There was no doorknob on the outside, so at least they had kept her in a secret room. The door was fixed seamlessly into the wall, and no one was in her line of vision.

Her footsteps barely made a sound as she stepped down the hall. Familiar voices caused her to halt. 

"To be honest, I'm not sure about living with her."

"But she's adorable!" Gai's voice bellowed.

"Ah," Kakashi sighed, "she may seem cute, but underneath is a demon I know will claw its way out.”

"Don't tell me my eternal rival is scared of something so small?"

"Don't let her smallness deceive you.” 

Her heart stopped in her chest. Was she dreaming? Chiisai staggered back, not believing what she heard. Kakashi just called her a demon. No, he wouldn't. But she was the only one living with him and what happened last night…Now the same scenario was happening. This time, however, it wasn't him leaving that made her question his feelings for her, but his words. And those words she knew came from his heart. Chiisai shakily ran a hand through her hair. She couldn't stop the pain ripping into her chest, and no matter how much she tried to justify his words-

Maybe her father was right in the end.

You could never trust a ninja.

Turning away, the woman fled down the hall, getting as far away from him as she could.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

A small sound entered his ears. At first he discarded it. Old buildings always made noises, and the library was no exception. But as he continued shelving the books, Koshuu's ears prickled even more. No one ever really wandered this far into the library, and he was almost at the very end. So cautiously, he investigated. After all, Chiisai would kill him if she discovered pests lurking about her precious books.

“Chiisai?"

She had her back to him. Chiisai sat facing the corner at the end of the row. Her head was bowed into a book. He edged closer and repeated her name, but she wasn't responding. Perplexed and concerned, he crouched down beside her, only to see tears stream down her face.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes stared into the book in her lap, but the pages were splotched with tears. Her voice held no emotion as she asked, "Can you please go away?”

"Sorry Ms. Silent," his voice softened, "but I can't let you do that."

"Then you're not my friend anymore." She twisted her body away from Koshuu. Her memory flared to life, and she saw him towering over her in a dark building. She swallowed, discarding the images, trying to forget. He didn't kill Tori.

Koshuu said curiously, "You considered me a friend?"

"Not anymore. Now go away, new acquaintance."

Instead, Koshuu laid his hand on hers. When she didn’t pull away, he interlaced her fingers with his and said, "Chiisai, I need you to look at me."

She shook her head and pulled her hand away, retreating back into herself. "I'm fine."

"You're covered in tears and reading An Encyclopedia of Nightmares.” He shook his head. “Obviously you're not fine. To be honest, you're scaring me."

She let out a sad laugh. "I'm good at scaring people. What else is new?"

"Seriously," he said, "I've never seen you like this before. What's wrong?"

She stared down at the book, cursing the tears that stained its pages. "I don't want to feel."

"What?"

"This book has nothing about feelings in it. Don't they know that emotions are nightmares?" Another tear plopped onto the book. Koshuu furrowed his eyebrows and slowly asked, "Is this about your boyfriend?"

Chiisai squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't want to feel."

"I know," he nodded, "You've said that already." Koshuu pulled back the veil of hair hiding her face. "Can you look at me please?"

She shrugged away from him, letting her hair fall back. "Leave me alone. I need to be alone."

He shook his head and replied, "I think you've been alone long enough."

“It's far easier."

Koshuu paused to consider her words. Gradually, he asked, "But doesn't it hurt more?"

She curled into herself. The fresh wound in her heart continued to ache as she uttered, "How can it when that's all you've allowed yourself to know?"

Koshuu stared at her, taking in her words. "Chiisai," he pleaded, "why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You shut yourself off from everyone. You never let anyone in, but I see you helping people. It's like watching you repair those old books." He leaned closer, trying to get her to come out of her shell. "You help people but you don't let anyone help you."

"I don't help people," she choked out. "Why should I care?"

Koshuu softly replied, "I know that's a lie. I know why you come in so early. You don't think I've noticed you change the late charges? I don't think Old Lady Miki has paid a fee in years because you compensate for her."

Barely a whisper, Chiisai said, "She loves books but can't walk well. She's in pain."

"See?" He smiled. "And what about that Naruto kid? He stole a few books if I recall and you denied it."

"I wouldn't tell anyone if he treated me to some ramen. He never had anyone read to him before. He just wanted attention." Chiisai hated how she always explained herself. In the end, she was only helping Koshuu see her true self even more, and that was something she couldn't afford to do.

"Why don't you ever want attention? Why do you hide helping people?" He pulled her hair back successfully this time. Tears ran silently down her face. He brushed them away and murmured, "What makes you want to protect people you barely know?"

His touch did something to her, and Chiisai swallowed a sob from escaping. Her bottom lip quivered, "Someone once told me it's better to be nameless and protect in the shadows, but…I can't remember who."

"It sounds like a ninja, which is something you're not." Gently, he placed his fingers under her chin, turning her head to look at him. "Chiisai, you're- wait, what's wrong with your cheek?"

He forced her head to turn while he inspected it. She jerked away from him, but he already saw it. "That's one hell of a bruise."

Her eyes trained the books beside her, avoiding Koshuu's stare. "It's nothing."

Koshuu noticed her shame, and that mixed with what he was seeing… 

His tone darkened, "Did Hatake do that to you?"

Her hand rested on the shelf, and she called up the energy needed to lie. "I fell. You know how clumsy I can be."

"Chiisai," his tone serious, "for once, stop trying to protect people. I want you to be honest with me."

Her fingers shook on the bookshelf. "It was just an accident."

"Stop it."

"It was my fault," she exhaled. "He was only-"

His brown eyes narrowed. "How can you stand to be with him? You're talking like you're in an abusive relationship!"

"No, look- you don't understand. Kakashi's fine the way he is. He's…" She stood, knocking the book from her lap. "It was an accident. I can't- I have to go."

Chiisai turned to leave, but Koshuu stood and grabbed her. He whirled her around and placed both hands on her shoulders, making sure she staid rooted in place. His voice rose and he yelled, "Chiisai, dammit, he hurt you and you're still covering for him! Just stop! I can't stand to see you like this!"

Chiisai froze, shocked to hear his words. Koshuu leaned closer as his hands cupped her face. She didn't stop him. His thumbs stroked her cheekbones and wiped her tears. She didn’t realize how comfortable she felt to be with him, how natural it was to have him near her. There was no anxiety, no fear.

Koshuu bowed his head, his forehead pressing against hers as he whispered raggedly, "Can't you see how much this hurts me? Don't you know how much I care about you?"

Their mouths were centimeters apart, and Chiisai couldn't tear her eyes away from the emotions written so clearly on his face. This was a man who showed all feelings, unlike the ninja she lived with. Koshuu traced her lips, his voice begging, "For once, let someone help you. Can you let me do that?"

Koshuu leaned even closer, tilting his head slightly. She closed her eyes, the last tears falling as his breath grazed her skin. "Please," he whispered against her lips, "Let me…"

A gloved hand gripped on to Koshuu's shoulder, yanking him away from her. Koshuu reeled back but regained balance, his brow furrowing in recognition.

Kakashi stood in front of Chiisai, absorbing her whole appearance: slumped posture, swollen cheek, tear-drenched face, eyes filled with…Pain. Shock. Grief. Guilt. And hurt. Her dark eyes released a barrage of feelings, and Kakashi was able to capture them all with his one eye.

To Chiisai, Kakashi's presence suffocated her beyond what she thought him capable of. Save for the extra crease under that eye, Kakashi's face held no expression. "Chiisai," his voice was low, "I need you to come with me."

"Like hell she is," Koshuu replied. He released a fist at Kakashi, but the ninja caught it in a flash. The jonin kept his eye on Chiisai as he said to him, "I appreciate your passion, but this doesn't concern you."

"Can't you see she's in pain because of you? Do you even care? She needs to be protected."

"You may think yourself high on the chivalry scale, but taking advantage of a woman's emotional state is cowardly." The jonin twisted his arm, causing Koshuu to grunt with pain. "I could do whatever I wanted to her right now and you couldn't do a thing. It seems you lack the ability to protect."

"Yeah, well," he glared, "looking at her, it seems you lack the ability to protect too, or rather, you do the opposite."

Koshuu knew he struck a chord when Kakashi stiffened.

The jonin never could protect the ones he cared about, just one example being Naruto and Sasuke. And he had indeed done the opposite once before…to a medic-nin he had vowed to protect. And looking at Chiisai now, seeing the bruise made by his hand and the tears staining her face, was he destined to always fail at protecting the ones he loved?

"Stop," Chiisai said. "I'll come, just stop."

Kakashi instantly released Koshuu, and he gasped with relief. Chiisai trudged past the two of them, her eyes not meeting either. Koshuu gazed at her, insisting, "Chiisai, please.”

She only shook her head and kept walking. "I'm sorry." 

Kakashi followed behind her, silent and filled with regrets.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai didn't know where she was going, but she kept telling herself to move one foot forward, and another, and another. Kakashi's eye trailed her back, lagging somewhere behind. The woman continued onward, relying on her feet to carry her wherever they intended to lead. Ten minutes later, she ended up sidestepping the worn caution tape and walked straight into the abandoned district that bore the faded red and white symbol.

Chiisai stood in front of what used to be a small shop, her hand placed on the old glass window. She watched Kakashi's smeared reflection coming closer until he stopped behind her. Chiisai dropped her hand and whispered, "You didn't need to say that to Koshuu. Your assertion of dominance won't change anything."

"He said I caused you this pain." He hesitated. "Is that true?"

"When I woke up, I went looking for you." She bit down on her lip, trying to keep herself under control. "I heard your conversation with Gai."

"That was a shadow clone. I saw that you heard it, but I don’t understand." His brow furrowed. “I thought it would make you happy.”

"Happy?" She turned to him. "You think I'd be happy if you called me the very things I'm insecure about? I guess you really want me to leave then, which I'll be glad to do."

Kakashi stiffened. “I see. I forget how normal your hearing is.”

Now that she started, she couldn't stop. The words spilled out of her and she snarled, "Oh, my hearing is fine. Are you scared of this demon that's clawed its way out finally? It's never too late to back out now," she spat. "You may be unsure about living with a monster like me, but I'm sure I don't want to live with a liar like you. I'm done with this mission."

He shook his head in disbelief as she walked away. "You stupid woman."

"Excuse me?" She turned to him, eyes narrowed in fury. Chiisai stormed off, but Kakashi was already in front of her. She turned again, but the jonin stood before her once more. No matter where she went, Kakashi was always one step ahead.

"You only heard half of our conversation. I understand the mix-up, but you weren’t the topic of discussion."

"My name literally means small. What other woman could you be talking about?" Chiisai twisted away from him, hating the emotions brought on from the sight of him.

"Chiisai, I wasn’t talking about a woman." He grabbed her hand. "I want you to come with me somewhere."

She tore her fingers from his grasp. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

His voice lost its laziness, and the hurt spoke through. “You have never given me a benefit of a doubt, Chiisai. After all this time, you still don’t trust me.”

"Why did you wait so long to approach me if you were watching this whole time?”

He straightened. "I wanted to see if anyone would pursue you. I just didn’t think it would be Koshuu."

Chiisai looked away and said,"I already knew he loved me. He was one of the people trapped in the dream world." She turned her head back to the old buildings. "When I went to break Koshuu's dream, I saw him, and I was with him. It…” She shook her head. “I didn’t want to wake him up. So I waited, and watched a life that could never happen."

Kakashi’s eye narrowed at the implication. "Chiisai." He grabbed on to her hand, and this time she couldn't break his hold.

"Let go of me!" She yelled, trying to jerk herself free.

"This is a misunderstanding."

"I heard what you said!”

He groaned and placed his other hand over hers, attempting to make Chiisai see reason. "Do you not hear the words I'm saying now?"

"I don't want to!" She yelled furiously. The tears streamed down her face, her eyebrows furrowed. "Stop making me feel this way! I hate you!"

"You hate me?" He let go of Chiisai. Kakashi leaned forward, his body looming over her, forcing her to heed his words. His voice was quiet but full of authority as he asked, "Do you hate looking at me because it stirs something inside you, making you feel emotions you forget existed? Is it because no matter how hard you try to hate me, to push me away, you just can't?"

She took a step back. "How did you…"

He moved closer, his expression for once showing through. "Because I'm describing the very things you do to me."


	10. The Miscalculation

Chiisai held a hand up to his chest, her heart in a turmoil of emotions. "Stay away."

"I don't think I could if I tried. Please, I need you to come with me."

"You can’t make me," she backed away. “And stop saying please.”

"Unfortunately, I can make you." He grabbed her hand again, dragging her out of the compound. "You're hurt over a misinterpretation. I wanted it to be a surprise."

Kakashi barely heard her. "You called me a demon."

The ninja stopped and stared down at her. For a moment, all was silent. The agony she felt sat evident before his eyes, and he recalled their times in the dream world. Back then, she had mentioned her parents believing her possessed, fearing the monstrosity they called daughter. Anyone who knew her secrets eventually turned against her, maybe all save the Third Hokage. At least Kakashi had Gai during those horrendous years of his life, though most of the time he pushed him away. But Chiisai, who had stuck with her throughout the years?

Kakashi pulled down his mask and said, "If I ever called you a demon, if the thought ever crossed my mind, it would be because you constantly plague it. You've taken a hold of me, and no matter what I do, I can't get free." He sighed. "You've broken me, Chiisai. I don't know how you did it, but you managed to break an already broken man."

It was soft, but Kakashi could hear the faint breath from her. "You're laughing."

Chiisai stopped as the tears slid down her face. "The one person I want to help the most I end up breaking," she whispered.

He shook his head, offering, "Some things you have to break down in order to build back up."

"Do you really want me to help in that process?" She gave another bitter laugh, remembering all the times she failed at every relationship presented to her. Her parents came to mind, and she muttered, "Knowing me, I might break you beyond repair."

He sighed, dumbstruck at her plummeted self-esteem. "Chiisai, haven't you heard a single word that's come out of my mouth?"

"I have, and it doesn’t make sense."

She was probably the only human that could wear away his calm demeanor. He rubbed his temples, saying, "You're going to have to stop doubting every person that has feelings for you because of the past."

"Look who's talking. You're stuck in your own world of gloom, and you don't think you deserve any happiness because you marinate so much in the past."

"You're right."

She blinked. "What?"

"I said you're right. You want to know something?" He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I believe we balance out very well."

"Ah, yes," she nodded. "You with the perfect body who always remains calm and actually enjoys cleaning. And then there's me, the one covered in butcher marks who's never calm and never washes dishes. Considering I'm everything but a ninja, I guess I would be your best match."

His shoulders sagged, and he shook his head. "I believe there were several moments where you were the calm one."

She crossed her arms. "When was that?"

He gazed at the ground for a minute, his eye now downcast. He spoke softly, "When we were fighting your father. Before you died in the dream world, you were smiling at me. You were content with your fate of sacrificing yourself." He closed his eye, recalling another friend who did the same thing. "My life was repeating all over again in that moment, and there was nothing I could do but watch the life being drained out of you. And then only to find you chained up and asking for death again- I don't think you realize how much that affected me." He smiled sadly. 

His eye didn't meet hers. She remembered the scenes all too well, and it filled her heart with hurt at the memory. But his words echoed in her head, and she couldn't help but whisper, "What did you say then? I won't abandon you, so don't abandon me?"

Kakashi stiffened but soon relaxed. “I remember." He twirled a strand of her hair and asked, "Are you still up for that?"

Chiisai turned her head away, her face burning. She crossed her arms and muttered, "I still hate you."

"I know." He kissed the top of her head. For him, it was enough.

"Don't kiss me. I’m still angry."

"Oh, but I think kissing will help both of our esteems, wouldn't you agree?" He crouched down in front of her and yanked her sweatshirt up. She went to shove his hand away, but he caught hers in his. He pressed his lips to a scar and said, "I do, however, have to address one of your many insecure ramblings. These scars signify more than just ‘butcher marks.’" He kissed another, saying, "They're a symbol of your resiliency. And now that I think about it…" His mouth trailed down her waist, his lips pressing against her hip bone. "They remind me of stripes on a tiger."

"Wait- Kakashi," she inhaled. Her skin quivered under his lips, and he smiled into the curve of her waist. "Did that make you feel better?"

"St-stop being a pervert!"

He finally stood up. Kakashi pulled his mask up and teased, "I wasn't the one grabbing some ass last night, now was I?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Ooooh," Chiisai glowered, "we are never speaking of that again." She placed her hands on her hips. "I wasn't thinking clearly then because I had a traumatic experience."

She was getting back to her usual self. The jonin took her hand gently. Chiisai frowned at him, still unsure. With a tug from his arm, she finally sighed and followed. He said, "Now come on, Small Tiger. I'm going to show you the real "demon" I was talking about. And Chiisai?"

"Hm?”

“Were you going to let him kiss you?”

Her eyes widened before glancing down. Her voice dropped to a whisper as she said, “I don’t know.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"She's managed to make all the ninken fear her. I'm not a cat person myself, but Tōmorokoshi is a ninneko I wouldn't mind having in a fight," Hana informed them. The Inuzuka turned to Kakashi and Chiisai, saying, "She's surpassed all of my tests, and I have to give her a medical exam in a few days. She'll be able to sense your seizures. Do you want to meet her?"

"Um…" She glanced at Kakashi, still not believing what he did. "Oi," Kakashi replied, "go ahead. You do understand who I was talking about now, right?"

"I do." She pulled his face to her and kissed him through his mask. "And I'm so sorry for-"

"Eh, I know," he nodded down at her. "Next time, just trust me, okay?" He wiped her tears away and nudged her forward. "And don't hate yourself over this either, baka."

"Follow me," Hana smiled. Chiisai nodded, took one last glance at Kakashi, and followed Hana down the hall. "I must say, Kakashi was very persistent in finding a ninneko for you. He had to go to the cat fortress himself."

She raked a hand through her hair and attempted to hide her self-loathing. "Do you know when he did it?"

"He came to me Monday morning. And the next day Tomo arrived by herself." Hana glanced back at Chiisai. "Oh, she goes by Tomo. Tomorokoshi is too long a name."

Monday. That was the morning after she had a seizure and fell on glass. She had told him about Tori…This must have been the "errands" he ran all day. "Is that her real name? Tomorokoshi?"

"Yes. She loves corn," Hana nodded. "She doesn't talk much, but when she does it's usually about you. She's quite taken with you."

"But we've never met."

She shrugged. "I guess Kakashi put in a good word. It takes a lot for a ninneko to leave their fortress I've heard."

Kakashi just told her not to hate herself, but how could she not when hearing all that Kakashi did for her? Damn, she was an idiot. A severely selfish and insecure, ridiculous, idiot.

"Ah, here we are. She usually hangs out around here somewhere. I will warn you, she can be a bitch." Hana opened the wooden door. It was the backyard of the veterinary clinic, and beyond laid a training ground. "Tomo," Hana called out. "Kasaru Chiisai is here."

The air shimmered in front of her as the black and white ninneko appeared. Her golden eyes blinked up at the woman curiously. Chiisai noticed her white paws and chest, along with a white diamond that sat in the middle of her black forehead.

"You look like Tori," she whispered out loud.

Her tail flicked and she responded, "He was my grandneko." Her soprano voice was as graceful as she was.

"Wait. You're his…?"

"My mother said he gave up his shinobi life to help a human. Did he die trying to save you?"

Chiisai crouched down in front of Tomo. She lowered her head and whispered, "Yes, he did. And I miss him dearly. Tori was the only constant in my life. A ninja named Itachi brought him to me when he was young."

“I know the story,” the tuxedo cat replied. “Tori was supposed to grow up to be Nekomata’s right hand ninneko. Itachi came to him while he was training, and they made a deal that if Itachi won then Tori would go with him. And the rest is history.” She flicked her tail and added, “And I did the very same thing, and it’s all because of the pale-haired man.”

"Kakashi?"

Her eyes flickered to Chiisai's. "The masked one? Yes. I don't care for the ninja personally, but he's rather fond of you and did not doubt my abilities. And I also wanted to meet you."

"I don’t understand why."

"You are interesting." She twitched her tail. Her tone changed, and she spoke seriously, "I expect you to have more confidence if you're going to live with a ninneko like me. This sadness you carry does not suit you."

Even the cat could notice her insecurities. "It’s a work in progress." Chiisai paused and frowned, "Why did Tori never speak?"

"It is said he did not like the human language." Tomo yawned, "I'm tired of talking, but I am glad you came. I'm looking forward to living with you, but the pale-haired man I do not like." She scrunched her nose and said with distaste, "He smells of ninken." She stretched her limber body and finished, "Now if you'll excuse me, I believe it's time for a nap."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Kakashi-"

"For the umpteenth time, I forgive you." He flicked her head and said, "Anyway, seeing how upset you were just verified how much you love me."

"W-Who said anything about love?" She threw her book down. Kakashi smiled to himself on seeing her blush. He pulled her to him. Chiisai shoved him away and said, "I don't love you, I ha-"

He drew her back, her chest flushed with his. It would be a long time before Chiisai would be comfortable with the word love. His mouth grazed her ear as he whispered, "I can wait."

Her eyes widened. Chiisai sat rigid as he pulled away. Kakashi's eye narrowed when he saw her. He brushed her hair back, but this wasn't the reaction he intended. "Chiisai, why are you crying?"

Her hand rose to his face as her fingers traced his jaw. Her eyebrows furrowed and then she slapped him, saying, "Why do you have to make me feel so much, baka?!"

Kakashi sat dazed for a few moments, feeling the sting radiate on his cheek. Chiisai gave a frustrated groan and yanked him by the collar, pulling him back so she could kiss him. She muttered, "You make me feel like I'm jumping off a cliff."

He shook his head at the woman in front of him. He interlaced his fingers with hers and replied, "Then I'll happily jump with you."

She could only hang her head at his reply. "Damn those sappy comebacks."

Kakashi patted her on the head and smiled. "Oh,” he added, “do you want to skip meeting Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma tonight?"

"That's tonight?" She faceplanted into the couch, her legs splayed on Kakashi's lap. So much had happened this week she completely forgot. "I can't deal with emotions and socializing all at once."

He leaned back and took advantage of the view. He had let her eat whatever mochi she wanted this week, and the weight was finally showing. "We can skip. It's not like I've haven't done it before."

Chiisai turned her head out of the cushion. "No, I do want to meet them. Their dreams have me curious." She rolled over to her side. "Asuma and Kurenai aren't in an official relationship, are they?"

He shook his head. So his suspicions about them had been correct.

"Humph. Can you wake me up in a couple of hours? I know it's my fault, but I'm drained."

Kakashi laid his arm on her legs, contemplating, "How do I wake you up? How do you even wake up?"

"I can sense people's dreams. When it comes sunrise, the dreams start disappearing, so I know what time it is. I can't know when everyone's awake."

He tapped his fingers on her calf. "You still didn't answer my first question."

Chiisai sighed and muttered, "Pain always gets the job done."

His eye skimmed over the fading mark on her face. "I don't want to hurt you again," the ninja grumbled. "Pick something else."

Her head fell back into the couch. "Then you're going to have to find some other type of arousal, Farm Boy."

"Arousal?"

She could hear the implications in his tone. "No," she started to get up, "that's not what I meant."

"I see." He said. Kakashi moved her legs and sank on top of the curve of her spine, pinning her to the couch. He popped his fingers. "So something like this?"

His fingers danced up the sides of her rib cage. She arched her back, shouting, "Hey!" She choked back the laughter, but her lungs couldn't stop. Her body shook with giggles underneath the jonin. "Huh," he mused, "you're really ticklish, aren't you?"

"I can't breathe!"

Kakashi released her. Her body heaved underneath him as she fought for breath. He forgot how fragile she was. He slid off of her, allowing Chiisai to roll over. She closed her eyes and grabbed at her chest.

"Chiisai, are you alright?"

She opened her eyes, noticing that Kakashi was distracted. "I…" She slid her knees up slowly, aiming to get in the perfect position. She panted, "I'm…"

Then Chiisai pounced on him, colliding with him and knocking both of them to the floor. She laughed as she propped her elbows on his chest. "I'm fine now."

His arms curled around her. "Playing my emotions to your benefit, I see."

“Sorry.” Chiisai replied, "I have to beat your physical prowess somehow."

Kakashi sighed, "If you're going to keep on apologizing, you might as well do it with more creativity." He pulled his mask down and brought his lips to hers. "Every time you want to say sorry, say it with a kiss."

"I'm sorry for a lot of things," she replied softly. Her hair fell over them as she said, "We'll be doing this all day."

"Precisely," he smiled and kissed her again.

"Kakashi."

"Hmm?"

“Two questions.” Her finger absentmindedly traced his collarbone underneath his shirt. "Are you mad at me? And will your friends like me?"

"Are you worried about that?" He rubbed her back and rolled his eye. "Gai already likes you. Of course they'll like you. And no, I’m not angry."

She didn't look at him. How was this man not even upset for what she did today? "How do you know?"

He simply stated, "They'll like anyone who can make me smile."

Chiisai couldn't help it. A hint of a grin showed on her face. "Me and my idiotic assumptions make you smile?"

"Kiss me and find out."

“Baka,” she replied. And then she brought her lips to his.


	11. Celebration

"Farm Boy, I changed my mind. Let's skip."

Kakashi grabbed her hand as she backed away. "It's too late now, Small Tiger. We're already in front of the building." He glanced down at her form-fitted clothing, savoring the sight of her.

Chiisai didn't notice. "You positive they'll like me? I can barely socialize with you successfully." She ran a hand through her hair. "Did I cover the bruise?"

"Yes, it's covered. And don't worry," he smiled, "it's just my friends." The two were back to normal since the earlier incident, and he was thankful she was too anxious to think about earlier events. 

Kakashi ruffled her hair, open the door, and said, "Everything's going to be fine."

The two stared at the room. She gulped, "I'll be honest, I didn't think you had this many friends."

"Oh, I like this one already," A voice came from behind her. The purple haired kunoichi grabbed Chiisai by the shoulders and yelled to the crowd, "Hey, everyone! The lovebirds have arrived!"

The shinobi’s gave a cheer and held their drinks up. Anko grinned to Chiisai and said, "We couldn't pass up a chance to meet the woman who melted this stone-cold ninja. Did you know that one time he chopped off a man's head with his own sword? Cleanest slice I've ever seen! Hey, Genma! Give me another drink!" Anko slapped her butt, and Chiisai yelped in surprise. "If you ever wanna hear a story about your boyfriend, I got a few gory ones for you. Have fun!" She took another swig and sauntered off to the bar.

"Stay away from Anko," Kakashi muttered down to her. She nodded. Chiisai had seen enough of Anko's dreams to know that. Kakashi held her hand as he made his way through the crowd. He stopped on seeing a familiar green outfit. "Gai."

The ninja turned to them, his cheeks flushed from the sake in hand. "Eternal rival, you finally made it!"

Kakashi shrugged away from his drunken embrace. "Why did you invite the entire jonin class here?"

"No," he gestured, "I didn't do that. I invited the chunin and ANBU too!"

"I thought this was going to be just you, Asuma, and Kurenai." He shook his head. "Chiisai's not used to crowds."

"Everyone should celebrate love! And she looks fine! See," he pointed, "she's already made some friends!"

Kakashi turned back to Chiisai, but she was gone. A few ninjas had pulled her to the bar, where they were pouring her some sake. Kakashi started to go for her, but Tenzo stood beside him now, asking about his book-loving girlfriend. Kakashi shrugged in response to his friend while still keeping his eye on Chiisai.

Hopefully tonight wouldn't end in disaster.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"So,” Kotetsu began, "you have me curious. What occupation does the lover of our esteemed colleague have?"

Chiisai took the sake from him but didn't drink it. Their old dreams crossed her vision on seeing them, and she tried her best to stay calm. "I'm a librarian."

Izumo's eyes brightened. "A librarian?" He leaned towards his friend. "Did you ever picture Kakashi with a librarian?"

"I never pictured him with anyone." He turned back to Chiisai, who stared into the ceramic cup. "So you have no ninja skills at all? I bet you feel out of place."

"Kotetsu," Izumo scowled, "you can't just say that."

"No, he's right," Chiisai smiled. "I can't hit a side of a barn if I tried."

"Hey," Kotetsu grinned, "at least the woman's honest!"

She finally took a small sip and asked, "So what do you two do?"

The black-haired chunin rolled his eyes and took a gulp. He slammed the cup down and replied, "Sometimes we sit at the gate, but most of the time we're the Hokage's errand-boys."

"Guarding the Hokage and the villagers is the best mission you can get," he scolded his comrade.

"Obviously," Kotetsu retorted to her, "Izumo here is the serious one."

"Someone has to be," the brunette replied. He leaned into Chiisai, saying, "Do you know how many times I've dragged this guy out of the Standby Station? The man takes no pride in his work."

"Hey, is this Kakashi's girlfriend?" Genma came up, his senbon sticking out of his mouth. "Whoa, how old are you?"

Another jumble of dreams hit her on seeing him. "Twenty six."

"Damn, you could pass for his student."

Chiisai frowned but didn't reply. Her eyes were trained on the people next to her, but all she could see in her mind were images from their past dreams. Her senses hit her from all angles, creating a flux that her body couldn't adjust too. And did she really look like a teenager?

"Oi, she doesn't look that young to me. Chiisai here is a librarian."

Genma pulled up a stool. "Please tell me Kakashi used a librarian pick up line on you."

Kotetsu snorted, "Can you imagine him and his scary self using a pick up line on her?"

"How did you two meet anyway? You look too cute for someone like him. Actually, you look more like my type," Genma gave a playful wink. She raised an eyebrow, only half hearing their conversation.

"Oooh! I know!" Gai rushed up. "I was there! Oh wait, was I?" He placed a hand on his chin. "I distinctly remember…"

Gulping down the rest, Chiisai said, "We ran into each other."

"Oh, that's right," Gai nodded, though still unsure. His eyes brightened. "You walked right into Kakashi!"

Genma raised an eyebrow at Chiisai. "I'm surprised he didn't frighten you off."

"That's because I was there." Gai barked a laugh. "Why, I practically sat you two guys up!"

Izumo turned his attention to Chiisai as she accepted another glass. "What made you want to get with Kakashi? Was it the mask? I swear, why do the ladies love that?" He frowned as realization set in. "Wait, you've seen his face, haven't you?"

Kotetsu rolled his eyes. "They live together, baka. I'm sure she's seen his face and plenty of other things too."

Chiisai wasn't sure if her face flushed from his comment or the alcohol. "Um…"

"What does he look like?"

"Teuchi and Ayame once told me he had the face carved by gods."

Chiisai absentmindedly took a drink of sake. Of course Ayame would say that, because her dreams showed it all the time. Crap, was she actually drinking alcohol voluntarily? Surely one or two glasses wouldn't do anything to her. Besides, she wasn't drinking to drown out the pain. She wasn't her mother.

‘"How would you know anything?! You've never loved anyone and no one's ever loved you!"’

"So, Chiisai, what does he look like?"

She snapped her head up, the voices pulling her back out of her thoughts. She merely replied, "Trade secret."

"Oh, come on. Give us a clue!"

Chiisai emptied her second glass, the sweet burning in her throat clearing her thoughts. She smiled, about to rebuttal, when dread washed over her. Eyes wide, she quickly stood and excused herself. Her vision blurred, and she sought to find the bathroom as laughter filled her ears. With so many noises and bodies around, she couldn't concentrate and pull out of it. It was likely the person dreaming was out drunk, and she slugglishly fell into it. At least the restrooms were close.

Her legs wobbled, but she managed to stumble through the crowd and into the bathroom. Two women turned as she rushed into the nearest stall. She locked herself in right before she lost control.

Her head rammed into the side of the stall. Chiisai sank into the cold floor as the tremors begun. The last thing she heard was a knock on the door.

The dream was incredibly vivid, and she fought through the rich colors that stung her eyes. Someone stood facing a wooden fence with a hot spring behind him. He was naked and with his back to her. Damn, not one of these dreams again. The man clearly was watching through a hole, gazing intently on the other side where the women were. He gave a sheepish giggle as blood dripped out his nose.

A knife appeared in her hand, and Chiisai stepped toward the man. But the ground suddenly shook beneath her feet, causing her to collapse to the ground. The dreamer woke up, and the hot springs shattered into pieces, throwing her out.

Chiisai gasped for air, her eyes opening back to reality. She blinked several times, her mind still hazy as she struggled back into consciousness. Something buzzed in her ears, and she swatted at the noise.

"Shh, it's alright," a soothing voice called out.

Saliva blocked her airway, forcing her into a violent cough. The person sat her upright as her chest heaved. Finally able to breathe, Chiisai wiped the spit off her chin and sought the person holding her.

It was Kurenai. Her red eyes gazed down at her with concern. "Kakashi told us you were sick. Is this normal?"

She could only give a brief nod as she slowly processed her words. "Thanks."

The kunoichi gave a soft smile. "Can you stand?"

Chiisai stared at the woman's red sleeve. Kurenai held Chiisai, her worry growing as she watched her. Finally, Chiisai muttered, "My motor functions sometimes…take a while." Chiisai glanced around, noticing she was in a bathroom. When did come in here? 

Kurenai suggested, "You might want to lay off the alcohol if you're having seizures."

"Yeah," she caught her breath, "lesson learned."

Chiisai laid a hand on the wall as Kurenai helped her up. Her body wasn't fully operable, and she had to lean on the dark-haired kunoichi. Chiisai blinked in surprise when she saw the stall door ripped off its hinges.

Kurenai explained, "We thought you were dying. Yugao went to get Kakashi."

About that time, Kakashi opened the door, his eye casting a worried glance at Chiisai.

The kunoichi casted her eyes on him and said, "She's still recuperating. Just don't let her have any more alcohol."

Chiisai took a deep breath, trying to regain full control of her body. She pressed a shaky hand to him. "You're…in the lady's room…pervert."

"Sorry Kurenai, can you…?"

"I have to explain the stall door to the owner anyway." The woman nodded, gave Chiisai to him, and headed out the bathroom.

"It was Ebisu."

Ebisu's dreams were about as bad as Jaraiya's. The man really shouldn't be teaching children. Chiisai pressed her head into his vest. "Thanks."

Wrapping his arms around her, he asked, "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine." Chiisai pushed herself up from him, determined to walk.

He noticed her reddened cheeks. "How much sake did you drink?"

"Just two glasses." She held up three fingers.

"Obviously a lightweight."

"Is that…bad?" She took a step back, calculating how much her body could handle after the seizure.

Kakashi caught her as her knees buckled. "It means you can't drink anymore tonight."

"Well," she muttered back, "It's not like I'm a fan of alcohol anyway. Wait, can drunk dreams…make me drunk?"

"You sure you want to stay?"

The door opened. Anko stopped on seeing them together. She eyed Chiisai's slight shakiness (also noting her heavy breathing) and Kakashi's intense eye. They both were startled by her. Anko grinned as she regarded the broken stall. "You're gonna break the poor girl, Kakashi. Are your always this rough?"

Chiisai flushed with embarrassment and was too stunned to reply. Kakashi simply let out a hesitant laugh, "Eh, it seems we've been caught in the act, Small Tiger."

Anko raised an eyebrow at the pet name. "You two are pretty horny bastards." She shrugged, "I can't say anything though. I'll probably fuck someone in the alley here late-"

Kakashi had already dragged Chiisai out the restroom.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

The get-together had lasted a few hours until the ninjas finally started to leave. Asuma and Kurenai departed shortly after Chiisai's seizure. Kotetsu and Izumo had gotten into a friendly brawl, and were now slumped in a booth with the group. Anko had dragged who knows what poor ninja with her outside. A couple of shinobi sat at the bar, while a few had settled at a table. It seemed the chaos had finally breezed over.

Chiisai nodded to Kakashi as Gai rambled on about youth. "Oi, Gai," the jonin said. "Chiisai and I are heading out."

"What?" He slammed his hands on the table, rattling the empty glasses. "Unacceptable! I have to tell her about the first time we met!"

"Eh, she wouldn't want to hear that," Kakashi replied. "She already knows I was a jerk."

"Was?" She raised an eyebrow. The sake had relaxed her, letting her converse with ease. Chiisai elbowed Kakashi with a smirk. "How about still is?"

"You're the only one that could get away with saying that," Genma said to her. "And frankly, I'm jealous."

Kakashi tugged on her hair. "Oh, she won't get away with it later."

She rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Hey, we're here to celebrate the blossoming of love," Gia protested. "You can't leave without showing us a kiss first!"

Kotetsu muttered to Izumo, "I heard they did more than that in the lady's room."

"Eh, yeah, kiss." Genma grinned, "Pull down his mask while you're at it, Chiisai!"

Kakashi and Chiisai both glanced at each other. He raised his eyebrow in question. Chiisai leaned toward him, her hands coming up to his face. Kakashi tilted his head down as her fingers curled around his mask.

Everyone leaned forward in anticipation.

Chiisai gave a smile as she tugged the fabric down. Kakashi pulled his book up at the same time, blocking the view from everyone. The only thing the audience's eyes met were the front and back cover of Icha Icha Paradise. "Aw, c'mon!"

Chiisai smiled into his lips. Kakashi drew her face to him with his free hand. His tongue darted between her teeth, and her mouth parted in response as heat rushed through her veins. He tasted like sake, but it wasn't the alcohol that intoxicated her, she realized.

"Hey, lovebirds, get a room!"

They broke away, and Kakashi jerked his mask back up. He twirled a finger around her hair. "Sorry," he smiled, "I guess I got carried away."

Genma sighed at the two. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're one lucky bastard." He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in a serious relationship.

Never in his life had Kakashi thought himself a lucky person. Chiisai was full of complications, but as he gazed down at her smiling, all he could say was, "I know."


	12. Sleep

"Come on, Small Tiger. You can't fall asleep in that."

Chiisai flopped down in the bed face first. "Yes I can," she mumbled into the pillow. "I just had another drunk seizure and I'm too tired to change clothes."

He took off his gloves and replied, "Should I change them for you?"

"No, I don't want you looking at me." She pulled the pillow over her head and accused, "You have a scar fetish."

"False.” He tilted his head and said, “I admire your body, which just happens to have scars."

Chiisai sat up and reached for him. "Let me see yours."

"Hmm?"

Yanking him by the arm, she asked, "Can I see it?"

He fell into the bed with her. Chiisai reached for his face, but he leaned away. "Why?"

"You kissed all of my scars today," she mumbled. "I wanna kiss yours."

He untied the headband and let his hair fall over his eyes. "So you’re an affectionate drunk."

Chiisai patted him on the head. "I have come to the conclusion that drunk dreams get me drunk." Her finger now traced over the scar, feeling how it sunk into his skin in one jagged line. Her eyebrows drew together slightly as she pursed her lips. Chiisai leaned closer, feeling the heat of his body on her skin. Slowly, she pressed her mouth to his scar and pulled back.

He wanted to reach up and pull her back to him, but resisted given her current state. The intensity in his eye faded as he watched her expression change. "What are you doing?"

One eye was squinched up while the other was closed. "How do you keep only one eye opened all the time? No wonder your eyelid droops."

He wrapped his arms around her, untying the ribbon around her jacket. "My eyelid does not droop." Her petite body was trapped under his built frame and he couldn't help but wish he was undressing her for a reason other than sleep. He seemed to be wishing a lot of things lately, he realized. Not a good sign.

"Yes," she poked his vest. "It does. It's why you look so lazy."

"Here," He pulled at her sleeve, "just take this off."

She proceeded to accuse, "Farm Boy, are you trying to get me naked? Remember the contract."

"I'm trying to get you changed." He frowned, "It wouldn't hurt to brush your teeth either."

Throwing her shirt at him, she continued, "I'm too tired to exercise."

He caught it and dropped on the floor. "Now," he moved to her waist, "just take your pants off."

Chiisai bent her leg up. "How come I have to change but you don't?"

"Fine." He yanked off the clothes on his torso. "See? Now we're both changing clothes."He flattened his brows at her reaction and said, "You just wanted to see me shirtless, didn't you?"

"Well," she gestured, "you're seeing me shirtless!"

Kakashi skimmed over her torso. Her skin no longer stretched over her rib cage, but she still needed to gain a few more pounds. "You're wearing a bra. Are you not brushing your teeth? You still have your make-up on."

She burrowed even more into the sheets and released a noise that he took as a 'no.'

Kakashi sighed. He left to brush his teeth and came back in. Her back was to him, and he went ahead and changed into pajama pants. Kakashi found it humorous that she would sleep like that. Every morning she purposely went to the bathroom to change and now here she was shameless in her underwear. He should definitely look away, he realized. Warning bells rang in the back of his mind as he took in the sight of her. She faced away from him, holding a picture frame, but he had a perfect view of her legs, and her hips, and yes, this was not good at all.

He took a deep breath. The bed creaked under his weight as he sat beside her. The picture of his previous team sat in between her hands, the light causing a glare on the glass.

Chiisai whispered, "Do you miss them? Team 7?"

He leaned closer, his heart warming at the memories surfacing. "Yes. They're under each Sannin now. The three of them are all growing up and getting stronger, but I can't help but worry about them, especially Sasuke."

"You couldn't have stopped him. You know that, right?" Her finger traced the rim of the frame. "Itachi was everything to Sasuke, and after what happened…." She tapped a finger on the Uchiha's face. "Sasuke's lost right now, but he'll find his way back eventually. Uchiha's like to think they can do everything on their own, but it never works out in the end. Naruto will make Sasuke see that."

He gazed down at the picture, and there was a moment of silence before he whispered, "You sound very sure of yourself."

"Of course. I’ve seen their dreams, Farm Boy."

Kakashi turned off the light and came back to bed. As always, he wrapped his arm around her, her presence a comfort in the darkness. She shifted against him, and her bare skin brushed against his. All he could feel was her skin. A shiver ran through him as he tried to regain control of his body, to reign in its natural response. Kakashi groaned inwardly at the thought of the contract. He hadn’t realized how much it would effect him when he had signed it.

She tapped his chest. "Hey, Farm Boy."

"Hmm."

"I enjoyed tonight. I mean, I am an idiot for what happened today, and I'm still surprised you're not mad. But tonight made me feel like my father was wrong from the very beginning. I never trusted a ninja or anyone because of him. But tonight, I kinda like ninjas now."

"Good." He rested his chin on top of hair. "But don't like them too much, especially Genma. I think he enjoys you more than he should."

She tilted her head up to kiss him. "Night."

"Oi," he scrunched his nose. "You didn't brush your teeth."

She moved closer and breathed into his face. It was sour sake that assaulted his nostrils, and he pulled back from her. “For such a cute woman, you are disgusting sometimes,” he muttered.

Giggling, she flipped over and faced the wall. "Ha, goodnight Faaarm Booooy." She closed her eyes and then instantly opened them. "Wait, what if I have a nightmare?"

"You're not going to have a nightmare."

She sat up and pushed her hair back. "What if I hurt you?"

He pushed her back down beside him, keeping his hands in check. Her skin on his shouldn’t feel this good, he tried to rationalize. "The only thing you're going to hurt me with is your breath." He curled his arm around her and avoided a mouth full of her hair. "Sleep."

"Okay. Do you like cuddling with me?"

"Sleep."

She kicked her foot against his shin. "Do you like cuddling?"

He brought his leg up and plopped it on top of hers. "Sleep."

"Errghh," she pulled away from him, but his leg and arm held her in place. Kakashi, with his eyes still closed, smiled into her hair. "Yes, I like it." Pause. "Now sleep."

Chiisai muttered, "I can't with that kunai in your pocket. I know you want to protect me, but that’s taking it to far."

His eye widened. Her hand reached back, and Kakashi threw himself out of the bed. Not good at all. He pressed his hands and the balls of his feet on the hardwood. He pushed his body up and down, up and down, working off the rise in testosterone. Six paths, why was this woman driving him insane?

"What're you doing?"

"Exercising," Kakashi simply said.

Chiisai pulled the covers over her with a yawn. "Well, goodnight."

He was too busy chanting to himself to reply.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai's doppelgangers instantly vanished from the other dreams when she saw it. She took in a sharp intake as their experiences hit her at once. Her body twitched as she rose to her feet. The nightmares the clones absorbed hit her at once, but she didn’t care. Only one mind had her attention, and she was already walking into the dream.

His chidori had already gone through her chest.

Chiisai pressed her hands to the ground, and the images blurred as they were sucked into her. She groaned as the nightmare seeped into her skin. Flexing her hand, Chiisai pushed forward a different scenery, trading her emotions for his.

Lungs straining, Chiisai picked herself up and fought for stability. Kakashi was already by her side. "You didn't have to do that," his voice came out ragged.

"Yes, I did," she gasped back. Her eyes found his.

It broke her to see him like this. The most capable jonin in Konoha could only be brought down by one thing: his mind. Her hands pressed against the sides of his face, and she wiped his tears away. He flinched but didn't pull back.

She whispered, "It's okay."

"No, it's not." He squeezed his eyes shut. "It wasn't Rin. It was you."

"What you're experiencing is normal," she explained. "You've been thinking of me more recently and it's mixing your past and present together. People have dreams like this all the time." Chiisai stroked the side of his face and reassured him, "It's only a reflection of your fears."

"Chiisai-"

She gently scolded, "Don't sulk like that when I'm here alive and well, Farm Boy." She grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the portal. "I need your help."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"My abilities have gotten stronger, and I need to show you what I can do."

Kakashi only nodded.

Chiisai took a deep breath and turned away. The dream tree appeared, the usual bubbles blooming like fruit. "These are dreams of people right now within my range." Her eyes narrowed. "But there's something else."

The woman pressed her hands into the tree. More bubbles appeared on the tree, except they were grey and blank. “The new ones are people who aren’t dreaming right now. Apparently everyone is linked to this dimension at all times, and I can access it.”

She lifted a hand, and the tree faded. In its stead was a circular map of Konoha. The bubbles shrunk and drifted across the grid before settling into each respective location. "I can sense where they're at too. I don't how, but I can pinpoint their energy proportionately with the layout in reality. Some people don't show up though, like Danzo."

The map zoomed outside the village, past the forest of death. One mind appeared that showed grey at the surface. "I've been working on expanding my limits. That's how I found the Iwagakure spies a few days ago. There's more of them."

Kakashi stepped forward as he took in the new information. The potential Chiisai had astounded him. If Danzo knew what she could do, he would have already acted. This power was too good to pass up for the man. "I have a meeting with Lay Tsunade tomorrow morning. I’ll tell her then."

She nodded and replied, “You’re going to tell her more than that.” The bubble grew larger, appearing as a bleak doorway before her. She pressed her hands against the mind. Her chakra manifested in her hands, a bright colorful light radiating the more she pressed into the barrier. A crack rifted through the air as streams of white splintered into the blockade. With another hefty push from Chiisai, the wall disintegrated. Struggling for breath, Chiisai straightened and took his hand. Kakashi followed her through the portal and into the spy’s mind.

Barbed chains emerged from the man’s mind and shot towards the at lightning speed. Immediately, she threw up a shield. Walls appeared and folded in around them, trapping them in a solid cement wall. Chiisai sighed and pressed her hand into it. It crumbled underneath her skin, and they stepped down on to the ground.

The sound of metal broke through the quiet, and Chiisai’s eyes widened. Before she could react, Kakashi had a kunai out, deflecting the shurikens that burst toward them. Sharp clinks resounded as he deflected each weapon. Soon, all of the shuriken littered the ground, and Kakashi turned back to Chiisai.

“That was impressive.”

He spun the kunai around his finger and replied, “Says the woman who potentially has access to every mind alive.”

Chiisai rolled her eyes. He hadn’t been born with unexplainable abilities, and he actually had to work to get where he was. “So here’s where I need your help.” She reached out to him, and he raised an eyebrow as he rested his hand on hers. Their fingers intertwined as they stepped toward the mind before him. 

“You’re going to feel what I feel and see what I see,” she said. “And then you can decide what’s next.”

He nodded. Together, they approached the outline of his brain, the spongy ridges rising and falling, curving around to the other side. She never liked the smooth texture. It reminded her of a balloon when she pressed into it, fearing he pressure would cause something to burst. But it was only scrolls appearing around her, the information surfacing and unrolling before her. The ink rose up from the paper and hovered in the air for a moment. Then, all at once, the words flung themselves toward the two, and Kakashi and Chiisai stood still as the information seeped into their skin.

Kakashi’s eyes widened as images and voices flickered through his thoughts, imbedding it into his memory as if it were originally his own.

“This is…quite amazing,” he breathed. “And far better than resorting to torture.”

The scrolls vanished. Chiisai withdrew her hand from his and said, “What do we do with what we have?”

“Well,” Kakashi began, “he’ll need to be apprehended, and the increase of spies will need to be addressed with the Tsuchikage. Maybe send an ambassador to address the issue.” Kakashi sighed and rubbed his forehead. “They’re still after information about the sleeping incident, and since we captured their last spies, they’re even more suspicious. Wonderful.”

"I like the theory about a “powerful being hiding inside the oldest hidden village.””

“This is serious, Chiisai. Iwagakure won’t relent until they find substantial information. The ties between the Leaf and foreign lands are strained.”

She sighed and placed her hand on the man’s mind. It suddenly went dark around them, and Chiisai pulled up a portal back into the dream world. Kakashi followed as she explained, “I’m just flattered. Anyway,” she sighed, “the man’s out cold. A scouting party will retrieve his body soon.”

"You've used up a lot of your chakra." 

She turned back to him, his Sharingan almost glowing in the dark. The sight triggered something, and in a flash her mind envisioned two glowing red eyes, each with black four-point pinwheels. Her heart fluttered at the image, but it was already lost in the sea of her thoughts.

Shaking her head, she replied, “I know." Chiisai dragged herself to him. “Let's go. I've have more to show you."

"There's more?"

"It doesn't require chakra." The dream tree was gone, leaving a valley of red spider lilies. Damn, why did flowers always reflect her emotions? Chiisai turned back to face Kakashi. Her eyes gazed at the flowers and her voice barely rose above a whisper. "Farm Boy, this… You know what I did to my father, but my mother was different.”

"It was a suicide, Chiisai. It wasn't your fault."

She closed her eyes, hating the words that came out. "But it was. And you need to see it."

"Don't-"

Kakashi and Chiisai now stood in the middle of her memory.

‘"It was an accident," she shook her head. Reaching for her mother, Chiisai said, "I didn't mean to-"

She jerked away, sickened by her gesture. "You put him in a coma! You're not my daughter," Her mother snarled, "you're a monster!"

Chiisai's eyes widened. Tears stained her eyes and her hands tightened into fists. She yelled, "I'm the monster?! Who was the one that beat you? He made our lives hell!"

"He is my husband and you're father! Now get out of my dream, you bitch."

Chiisai raked a hand through her hair and yelled, "Dammit- I'm glad he's in a fucking coma. I came here because you're too drunk during the day to even respond! I didn't mean for all of this to happen. I just want you to see-"

"I love him!" Her mother screamed. "I still love him. And how would you know anything?! You've never loved anyone and no one's ever loved you!" She spat. Her finger pressed into Chiisai’s chest as she said, "You caused all of this. You’re not even my daughter- you’re a monster, and I hope you rot in hell.”

Bitterly, the girl whispered, "I hope you drink yourself to death. I hope you end up like him and leave me be forever."’

The memory faded, and Chiisai whispered, "My mother went into a coma from alcohol poisoning the day after. She ended up drinking herself to death, which was exactly what I told her to do." The ninja continued to watch her as she went on. "What I say to a person in their mind can stick to them. In the dream world, what you believe you create. I influence their minds to where they believe in what I say, and then they create it."

She turned away from him, afraid to see the emotions his eye would betray. "I've been remembering things. I could interrogate someone, erase their memories, and then make them believe nothing happened. That's what I did under the Third, and that's what I did to Danzo's spy a few days ago." She paused. 

“You’re protecting the Village, Chiisai. That is nothing to be ashamed of,” Kakashi said. “And you cause less casualties in the process.” 

She shook her head and replied, “My abilities don’t cause less casualties. I was in charge of monitoring the Uchiha clan before the massacre. The Third feared a civil war would eventually happen. I tried to prevent that, but my influence didn't work against Sharingan users. I could only persuade those without it, but it only caused more disorder within the clan."

“You couldn’t have prevented what happened,” he replied. “That’s a burden that shouldn’t be on your shoulders.” The jonin took a step forward. "Chiisai, when Inoichi got into your mind yesterday, he saw something."

She glanced up. "What?"

"You were with Sasuke, Itachi, and Shisui. To my knowledge, Shisui possessed an ability similar to yours with his Mangeyko Sharingan. He could put someone under a genjutsu and manipulate them without anyone realizing it. And Itachi’s Nightmare Realm is similar to your power as well."

"I don't remember Shisui, or know of any nightmare realm." She closed her eyes, wondering why her skin tingled at the name. 

Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets and watched her reaction. "I think Itachi and Shisui helped you. But you don't remember. Why is that?"

Sighing, she revealed, "I can't access a part of my memories. It's intentionally being blocked by my own chakra- like a solid wall of blazing chakra."

"I couldn’t access your memories with my Sharingan, either," he said. His thoughts drifted back to Naruto on their very first mission. “Your chakra is like a tailed beast’s in a way- extremely powerful, able to stop the most intricate of jutsu’s. It’s almost as if it has a will of its own, considering you can’t use ninjutsu either.”

"It’s also unstable,” she added. Chiisai ran a hand through her hair. “Kakashi?"

"Hmmm?"

She still couldn't look at him. "Are you…"

Kakashi placed his hand on her head. He looked down at her and said, "Chiisai, I've seen a lot in my shinobi life. What you just showed me doesn't make me think less of you. And I don’t fear what you can do.”

She moved away from him and replied, "My powers can easily become a threat. I showed you because if something ever happens-"

He remained emotionless. "Do you think something will happen?"

Chiisai crossed her arms as if to protect herself. "With me, anything's possible."

He didn't deny it, but only said, "I have faith in you."

She blinked in surprise. Why did everyone suddenly have faith in her nowadays? "Why on earth would you?"

"I've seen the fire in your heart, Small Tiger. Why wouldn't I have faith?"

His smile brought her joy and pain at the same time. "I'm sorry for-"

"Nu-uh," he tsked down at her. "Remember? If you're going to say sorry…"

Sighing, she rose on her toes as he wrapped his arms around her waist. The awkwardness of the situation made her mutter, "Is this going to be a tradition now?"

"I like it." He brought his lips to hers. "I'm sorry for a few things myself, so…"

He kissed her again. His hand moved farther down her waist. Chiisai broke away and said, "Reign in your testosterone, Farm Boy." But her body deceived her words and she gasped at the heat her body received. He nibbled her earlobe and whispered, "I think you like it." His breath was hot against her skin, and her fingers tightened around his arm.

She blinked away from him, her eyes focusing on the field of red flowers. "Well, I haven’t thrown a gust of wind at you yet, so you do have a point."

"Mhmm." He pressed his lips to hers again, and she didn't resist.

Hunger surfaced, and they both pressed harder against one another. Their kisses grew more persistent, and a noise escaped Chiisai as his breath grazed the hollow of her neck, his tongue sliding up to the shell of her ear. Her hands moved down his shoulders, her nails digging into him as he brought his lips back to hers. His hands were underneath her shirt, holding her waist, feeling the scars lining her curves. It was as if sparks danced on her skin, and before she realized it she was on the ground with Kakashi on top of her.

"Chiisai," he whispered her name at the hollow of her throat. She tilted her head to bring his mouth back to hers. Gods, she wanted him, but who in their right mind wouldn’t? Her hands gripped the edge of his shirt, yanking it up. He smiled into her lips and pulled away long enough to take it off. Her eyes widened at the sight of him, but he was already kissing her forehead, her nose, her lips. Her back arched as his breath grazed her ear again, her hands sliding down the solid pane of his back.

But as he murmured her name again, she remembered:

‘"Chiisai." He kissed her forehead, her nose, her lips. "Do you know how much I love you?"’

Her heart quaked as the memory disappeared. Her eyes widened, desperate to find the image again. But it was gone as quick as it came. She blinked, realizing she was underneath Kakashi, and his fingers were sneaking up her thigh. And it felt terribly good. 

Chiisai held a hand to Kakashi's chest and panted, "I should really get you back to your mind."

His fingers tangled in her hair as his lips grazed hers covetously. "Will you follow me there?"

Chiisai shook her head but couldn't bring herself to reject him. "What do you want to dream about?"

"Being with you."

"I'll breathe you a dream then."

His voice was low as he brushed her bangs back. "Will you breathe it to life for me too?"

Chiisai stared around at the dream world, noticing the white Sagiso flowers circling them. With a faint smile, she finally replied, "I'll try my best."


	13. I’m Fine

He poked her cheek. Yelled her name. Clapped his hands next to her ear. Tickled her side. He even licked her shoulder a couple of times.

Nothing.

Chiisai lay curled on her side, her hair over her face. He pulled down the sheets and rolled her on her back. He kissed her forehead, eyelids, nose, lips- trailed the tips of his fingers down the sides of her face. Still nothing.

Kakashi sighed and fell back on to the mattress. He gazed over at Chiisai, determined to think of something. Brown strands of hair hung over her face, glinting auburn under the sunlight that peeked in through the curtain. Her lips were parted slightly, her eyes shut as she wandered in the dream world. The ninja pulled Chiisai's hair back, enjoying the sight of her in his bed. He smiled. He enjoyed the sight of her in his bed even more half-naked. Maybe he should wait to wake her up.

"Are you watching me sleep?"

He blinked down at her. "Yes."

She rubbed her eyes and yawned, "That's so creepy."

He furrowed his brow as confusion crossed his face. "Did that wake you up?"

"I could feel your creepy eye on me in the dream world, Farm Boy." She moved to her side and faced him. "It was like some foreboding presence casting a shadow over me."

"Wait," he propped himself up on his elbow. "You felt that but didn't feel anything else?"

"Why should I? Wait," she squinted, "what did you do?"

He shrugged with an innocence she didn't believe. "Nothing."

Chiisai sat up and finally realized why she was cold. She let out a cry and grabbed the sheets. Covering herself, she yelled, "Why am I in my underwear?"

"You don't remember last night?"

"I had another seizure on the way home and…And the dream." Her eyes widened even more. What they did in the dream world was one thing, but in reality…No, she wasn't comfortable in reality yet to do anything of that sort. Their little escapades of lust needed to stop before it got out of hand. Or had it already? She squeaked, "Did we…?"

He smiled as his index finger traced the side of her arm. "You're a very alluring, Small Tiger. You couldn't keep your hands off me I'm afraid. Your nickname serves you well in bed."

She fell back in bed, rolled away, and pulled the sheets over her head.

He tapped her shoulder through the sheet. "Yo."

"I don't want to talk to you! I feel so violated. Oh gods." She felt like throwing up.

He couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm joking. Did you really think I’d take advantage of you?"

Furious, she threw the sheets off and yelled, "You jerk!"

He laughed as she tackled him. 

"That is not funny, Farm Boy."

He caught her wrists. "I find it quite entertaining."

"I personally weaved you a pleasant dream and this is the thanks I get?"

Kakashi kissed her nose. "You should take a shower and I'll fix breakfast. We need to run a couple of errands today," he said.

She pushed herself up. "We do need some groceries," she said. Chiisai stood up and just then felt coolness on her skin. She frowned, "Why is my shoulder wet?"

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Sensei, is that his girlfriend?"

Asuma pulled his cigarette out and nodded, "Yeah, that's her."

Ino glanced at the two walking down the street. "Sakura said she was odd. She doesn't look that sick though."

He remembered Kurenai's words from last night. The jonin shrugged, "She has some type of illness, but she manages pretty well. She suits Kakashi."

Choji frowned, "She looks nice, but she could use a few meals. What do you think, Shikamaru?"

"Eh, I could care less." Nevertheless, the boy sneaked a peek at the couple. The woman glared at her hand which was interlaced with Kakashi's. The jonin laughed at her response, which only made her more frustrated.

The blonde stared. "He actually looks happy?"

Choji ate a handful of chips and offered the bag to his friend. "Yeah, it doesn't look natural on him. Naruto would have a hay day if he were here."

Shikamaru sighed and grabbed a chip. "Love is so weird."

"You're just jealous, Shikamaru." Ino elbowed him.

He placed his hands behind his head. "As if. Love is too much of a hassle. Right, Sensei?"

"Maybe." He blew a puff of smoke and watched his passing friend. A dark-haired kunoichi came to mind and he smiled, "but it's worth it."

"Ooh, Sensei, who's the lucky girl?" Ino grinned.

Asuma's eyes widened. Nearly choking on his cigarette, he gave a hesitant laugh. He rubbed the back of his neck and replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai closed her eyes, stopping the past dreams of people near her from flooding her vision. She took a deep breath, and Kakashi squeezed her hand.

She hated the grocery store.

Kakashi pointed. "Do we need this?"

Chiisai shook her head. "If she sees something like this, she'll just lay down in a cardboard box instead."

"Dogs are so much easier," he sighed. Chiisai frowned again and turned away from someone passing them by. His thumb traced the top of her wrist, distracting her from the old dreams haunting her.

How could a simple movement fill her with longing? Chiisai changed the focus of her thoughts and asked, "What do you have in your hand?"

He observed, "Well, in one is your hand. The other is cat food."

She took the container from him and placed it back on the shelf. "Do you really think she'd eat that goop?"

"Purrhaps."

She rolled her eyes but smiled. Kakashi pointed at another can of cat food, but she only shook her head. His shoulders slumped. "This is too much work."

"Here," she suggested, "let me do the shopping for Tomorokoshi. You just get focus on everything else. And can you get mochi ice cream?"

He shook his head and replied, "I shouldn't have let you eat the entire box the other night."

Chiisai removed her hand from his and said, "But it's on sale."

"You," he scolded, "need to eat healthier. You're not doing your body any favors eating sweets."

Chiisai pulled at her baggy jacket and replied, "But I also need to gain weight. Please?" 

Kakashi sighed at her expression. “Alright. But just one box.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai frowned at the clearing. “Is this where you usually train?” 

“No. I‘ve been cliff climbing lately.”

Well, that explained his rock solid frame. She smiled at her own pun but quickly frowned. She pulled down the gloves on her hands, despising the coldness that entered her lungs. She was agitated at him but couldn't help enjoy his presence, making her even more agitated. But he seemed somewhat anxious, which was unlike him. “What’s the errand?”

Kakashi scratched the back of his neck and said, "I want you to meet a few friends."

Chiisai glanced at him as she asked, "How many friends do you actually have? Wait," she frowned, "you're summoning-"

The jonin had already drawn blood from his hand and made the appropriate hands signs. He slammed his palm to the ground. Chiisai took a step back as the smoke cleared. Eight ninja hounds appeared, glancing around them.

"Eh, Kakashi," Pakkun greeted. "Long time no see. What's the problem?"

"No problem," he replied. "I just want you to meet someone." Kakashi gestured to Chiisai.

"Is this the mate?" Akino jogged up to her, the dead grass crunching under his paws. He sniffed and said, "She does have your scent on her!"

Pakkun turned back to his summoner. "Finally, a proper introduction."

Akino noted, "She smells more like books!"

Eyes wide, Chiisai stammered, "Hello. I’m sorry, you said I’m his mate?"

Kakashi sighed and pressed his hand to his temple. The ninken were upon her. Chiisai stepped back, where she clashed against a tree and slid to the ground. The hounds surrounded her, their tails wagging as they sniffed every part of her body accessible.

The pug climbed into her lap lazily. "I'm Pakkun."

She gave an uncertain smile at his gruff voice. "I'm Chiisai."

"The one with the sunglasses is Akino," he pointed with his paw. "And then there's Bull, Bisuke, Urushi, Uhei, Shiba, and Guruko."

She glanced at each dog, trying to remember their order. "That's a lot of names, but it's nice to meet you all," Chiisai said.

Pakkun sat down on her thighs and explained, "In honor of you being Kakashi's mate, I'm letting you do something rare have ever done."

Her eyes widened. What was he talking about? "Um, I'm not really-"

Pakkun held his paw up. "You can feel the pads of my feet."

She raised an eyebrow. 

"Don't be shy." He leaned closer. "I promise they're soft and supple."

"Alright then.” She glanced at Kakashi, who seemed to be enjoying the scene. Her fingers traced over the pink skin. Her eyes brightened and she laughed, "They really are soft."

The dogs grinned at her response and trotted even closer. Their tongues assaulted the sides of her face, coating her in slobbery kisses. Shielding herself proved fruitless, and she made sure to keep her mouth closed. Eventually Kakashi had to come and get them off of her.

"I think they like you," he mused.

"I didn't know ninken were so openly loving. Very unlike cats." She scratched behind Bull's ear, pretending to not mind the dog saliva that coated her face.

Pakkun stood next to Kakashi. "Since you don't need us for a mission, we have requested…"

"Hmm?"

Akino butted in. "Can Chiisai play with us?"

Chiisai raised her hands up. "No really, that won't be necessary." After all, she was really a cat person.

Kakashi placed a hand on her back and offered, "Don't be modest, Chiisai." He smiled down at his ninken as he pushed her to them. "Of course you can."

The dogs wagged their tails as Bull bit down on her sleeve and half dragged her away. Chiisai turned her head back and seethed, "I hate you."

He chuckled at the sight of her with the crowd of ninken. Trusting his hounds, Kakashi settled down in the shade and pulled out his favorite book. He liked being with her of course, but sometimes it was nice just having some personal time.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai looked down at the ninken and said, "I'll be honest, I'm not used to this sort of thing."

Pakkun glanced up at her. "Do you know any ninjutsu or taijutsu?"

She held Bisuke in her arms and he nuzzled her with affection. "I’m unable to use ninjutsu, and I barely know taijutsu." At least in reality.

The pug walked around her. "And Kakashi hasn't taught you anything?"

"He hasn’t." The dog placed his snout under her hand and nudged it. She obliged and continued, "But that sounds like a good idea."

Pakkun turned to his comrades to discuss the matter. After a short while of debating and Chiisai awkwardly standing with Bisuke, the pug finally turned around. "Change of plans, Chiisai."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Kakashi finally closed the book. After all, he couldn't only read just one chapter. Glancing around, he noticed no one was in sight. He scratched his head. 

"Kakashi!" Akino bounded up to him.

The jonin bolted up. "What's wrong?"

"Come and look!"

Perplexed by his happy demeanor, Kakashi followed the ninken through the woods. The dog bounded up to the others, but the ninja lingered behind when he saw her.

Her jacket was cast aside in the cool air. The ninken ran up to her one by one. Chiisai blocked their assault, and launched a counter attack on each ninja hound that came at her. Her moves were simple but nevertheless effective. The determination shown in her eyes, and she let out a grunt as she took a blow. She was thrown back but scrambled to her feet and stood in a defensive stance. Her chest rose and fell the more she darted back and forth between the ninken. Chiisai had no upper body strength, but she had taken advantage of her small frame to move quickly between dog jabs.

Odd. Her Taijutsu was the level of a genin. A bit sloppy here and there, however, she surprisingly had some knowledge when it came to fighting.

That was until Bull bombarded her. The woman let out a yelp and fell. She laughed as the large dog licked her face. Kakashi walked towards them as she stood up. Sweat beaded her face, and he saw a slight tremor in her arms.

"Surely you didn't learn all that in the past hour."

She jumped at his voice. Placing her hands behind her, she said, "You're ninken are excellent trainers."

He raised an eyebrow.

"And it’s very possible that I’ve been practicing in my sleep."

Kakashi was impressed. To see for himself, he adjusted his speed and threw a fist at her. She saw his shoulder move in time and blocked it successfully. Kakashi nodded. Her reflexes were there, but her body just wasn’t in the right shape for it. "Good," he noted. "However…" His foot curled around the back of her ankle and pulled. "You need to widen your stance to better absorb the impact."

"Eh, Kakashi," Pakkun said, "this was fun."

Chiisai grunted as her knees buckled. Kakashi caught her and noted her clammy skin. The ninja dogs glanced up at her worriedly. The ninja sighed, "You over-exerted yourself."

"Pfft, I'm fine," she said with forced cheerfulness. She pulled away from him and stumbled towards her jacket. Guruko grabbed it with his mouth and offered it to her. "Thanks."

"Sorry, Chiisai," Akino said. "We forgot you were sick."

"No, no," she patted him on the head. "I'm not that sick. Besides, I was having a lot of fun," the woman grinned down at him as she put on her jacket. Admittedly she had missed running every morning, and the intense soreness in her muscles was a good reminder to get in shape. "Thanks for going so easy on me."

"I think that's enough play time for today," Kakashi said.

"We should go then," Pakkun stretched. The dogs gathered around Chiisai, saying their goodbyes with nuzzles and licks. She smiled down at them before they poofed away. Was she turning into a dog person now? Damn all this forced socialization. It was starting to have an effect on her. Was she becoming, shall she dare say it, an extrovert?

"They didn't even say bye to me," Kakashi said with disappointment.

"Well, they're used to you," she simply stated. Chiisai walked by him, keeping her head down. The jonin laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Let me see."

She sighed and held up her hand. He pulled off her glove, and she cringed as the fabric scraped her wounds. Her knuckles barely had any skin left. "Now sit."

Groaning, she reluctantly obeyed. Kakashi took her hand in his as he surveyed the damage. "You're skin's so soft it probably fell away at first contact."

"You think I have soft skin?"

"Uh…Well…" He looked away. "It's certainly not calloused like mine."

"I handle books, not kunais."

"Your other hand looks in poor shape as well."

"Ha, my body's just trying to match my face," she smiled. He frowned at her, scanning the bruise hidden under her make-up. Her eyes widened at his expression, and she quickly corrected, "I didn't mean it like that. It was a joke, a poorly conceived joke." This was why she never socialized. Nope, it seemed introversion really was her true calling.

"Poorly indeed," Kakashi sighed.

She drew her hand back before he could bandage it. "I'm fine, Farm Boy. I'll just clean it when I take a shower." Chiisai hastily got to her feet, embarrassed at her efforts in conversation. The quickness of her movement made her dizzy and she struggled to keep standing. Kakashi watched her as she took a deep breath.

Chiisai stepped forward as her body shook. Her adrenaline rush was long gone, and she fell to the ground. The jonin casually walked up and stood beside her.

"C'mon Small Tiger, you said you were fine."

She muttered a curse at his mockery and forced herself up. Her mind refused to listen to her body's protest, and Chiisai willed herself to move. Blood dribbled down her fingers as she trembled with each stride. Kakashi continued to observe her persistence. Chiisai found herself eating a face full of dead grass. She placed her palms on the ground, resisting defeat. He crouched beside her, making no intention of helping her. Kakashi said in her ear, "I thought you said you were fine."

Gritting her teeth, she managed, "I am."

"Then why can't you get up?"

With a snarl, Chiisai commanded her shaky limbs to push off the ground. In a daze, she managed to stumble a good fifteen meters. Kakashi lazily trudged beside her with book in hand. And then she finally crumbled for the last time. He didn't even put the novel down. "Are you ready to admit you're not fine?" She didn't reply.

He turned a page in Icha Icha Paradise. "I can do this all day."

Her fingers clenched into the dirt as she muttered, "Fine."

"Hmm?"

Chiisai hit her head against the brown grass. Her body lost the tension between her muscles. "I'm not fine."

The jonin put the book away. He sunk down beside her and commented, "Don't let your pride stop people from helping you when you need it. It's insulting to the ones who care about you."

No reply.

Kakashi sighed and made her roll over. "Don't look so pitiful." When she continued to remain unmoving, the ninja crouched over her to make sure she wasn't unconscious. When he felt her forehead, Chiisai brought her face up to his. His eye found hers as she kissed him. Nothing was said, but no words were needed. Kakashi helped her up into a sitting position, understanding her apology. Reaching back in his vest pocket, he pulled out some small medical supplies. Chiisai kept quiet, her dark eyes downcast. The ninja unrolled the bandage and took her bleeding hand in his. "Now, let's get you cleaned up."


	14. Tension

Kakashi made sure to walk her to and from work the next few days, even keeping an eye on her at the library.

She noticed. Ever since that staring of his woke her up it seemed she could always feel him near. Or maybe she was paranoid. Even now Chiisai thought she could feel his eye as she explained to Koshuu what really happened Saturday.

"I want to apologize for my behavior," she said. “There was a misunderstanding, and you weren’t supposed to be there.”

Koshuu stared at her cheek, an anger still hidden near the surface. "I need you to explain, then. Because it looks like you’re being forced into a relationship you don’t want. And I think you came here because you knew where I’d be."

She blinked in surprise, but replied, "This,” she gestured to her cheek, “happened due to a nightmare. I woke Kakashi up trying to attack him, and he acted without thinking. And if you haven’t noticed, the library is the only place I go to."

He raised an eyebrow, unconvinced by her words. "That's it?"

She shrugged. "That’s it.”

His expression softened. Koshuu glanced at her stomach. "You have nightmares?"

She raised an eyebrow and said, “Do you not have nightmares?” Turning away, Chiisai stacked papers on the table. Why was talking so difficult?

Koshuu stepped closer to her, but he couldn't bring himself to touch her. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened. It just scared me seeing you like that. And you never told me why you were crying."

She didn't meet his eyes as she glanced his way. "I misunderstood a conversation and overreacted. It’s also none of your business, so I suggest you forget what happened."

Shaking his hand, Koshuu disagreed, "You know that's not going to work." His eyes trailed from her dark eyes to her lips, still yearning for what he couldn't have. "You know how I feel about you. And I’m struggling to understand what you feel towards me."

Stiffening, Chiisai managed to reply, "And you know I'm with someone else." And that "someone else" was right above them most likely. 

“Do you really want to be with him?” Still unconvinced, Koshuu added, “Bad things usually follow him, and those around him seem to suffer for it."

Chiisai didn’t respond at first. She picked up a book and stared down at it. “I do want to be with him, Koshuu. There’s a reason we’re together. And if bad things follow him, then I guess we make a nice pair,” she smiled. 

He raised an eyebrow, taking in her expression. He couldn't help but envy Kakashi. "You've changed."

Chiisai rolled her eyes and smirked, "I still think you're an idiot, if that helps."

He knew this would be the end of the conversation. But seeing her with her usual offensiveness made the brunette crack a smile. "Good to know."

She shooed him off, glad to see their normality still intact. "Now stop bothering me and go do something productive."

He turned and walked out the back. Waving a hand up, the man finished, "Sure thing, Ms. Silent. And Chiisai?”

“Yes?”

He scratched the back of his head and said, “I just want you to be happy. And if Kakashi truly does make you happy- and treats you right, then I’ll stay out of the way.”

Chiisai nodded as he turned away. She turned the book over in her hands. Kakashi did make her happy, she realized. And even with all they’ve been through, she still hadn’t been this happy in a long time.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Why have you requested my presence, Lady Tsunade?"

The Hokage clasped her hands together and rested them on the cluttered desk. "It is a matter regarding Kasaru Chiisai."

"Ah yes," Danzo nodded, "the supposed lover of Hatake Kakashi. I hear she is rather ill."

Eyebrows furrowed, the woman asked, "What do you want with her?"

"Want?" He shook his head. "No, I am only curious. How is it that the best medical ninja in the world cannot cure this woman of her ailment?"

Fists clenched, Tsunade replied, "It is something that cannot be corrected with medical ninjutsu."

"That is unfortunate." He curled his hand over his cane and asked, "Is Kakashi sick as well? I've noticed his lack of missions."

She realized no matter what he said she would get angry. He was always meddling behind the scenes, even in her Sannin days. He was coward, but a crafty coward to say the least. Her knuckles cracked as Tsunade responded, "Kakashi has requested time off to take care of Chiisai."

There was a slight tilt of his head. His deep voice had no luster. "I would think with the Akatsuki roaming around and the instability following the transition of Hokages, that you would want the most experienced ninja Konoha has at your disposal. Especially now that he no longer has a team of genin to look after. I am afraid the council members agree as well."

Shizune cast a worried glance at Tsunade. The blonde replied, "Thank you for your concern, but the arrangements for his future missions have already been discussed."

"I see. I hope Kasaru can cope with her lover's frequent absence then." He lifted an eyebrow. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes. Kakashi has noticed ANBU lurking around them. They are not under my orders, and I can only assume you are responsible."

"I was merely taking precautions." Danzo lifted his head. 

The Hokage leaned forward and said, "What are you implying?"

"Her chakra is similar to those who were victim to the sleeping incident. How do we know that this dreaming plague won't happen again? Iwagakure seems to think the same thing, and with your lack of information on the subject, they seem to believe we have some sort of weapon. This could easily lead to war if you are not careful."

The reigns of her patience finally broke and her expression was more of a snarl. "An ambassador from the Hidden Stone Village is on his way as we speak. I can assure you the matter is under control."

In all seriousness, he spoke, "I am afraid I can no longer trust your assurance."

Rubbing her temples, she concluded, "You are dismissed." The man had made clear his suspicions, and as usual there was no evidence against him.

He nodded. Lord Danzo turned away, paused, and then said, "Do tell the couple I wish them well. Love can be so fragile sometimes."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Kakashi stood on top of a wooden shelf, lazily flipping through a book in his hand. Chiisai stood below him, oblivious to his presence. She was talking to a child, but he’d seen them together before at the cemetery. Chiisai had bought flowers for her loved one’s grave. The girl kept pointing at books, and Chiissai was shaking her head. 

His eye wandered up to the person crouched on a taller bookshelf, giving him the perfect view of Chiisai. The masked ninja was using a jutsu to stay hidden, but Kakashi was well experienced in stealth. After all, he himself had used that technique back in his ANBU days.

Sighing, he closed the book in his hand. Kakashi instantly appeared beside the seemingly invisible ninja. "I'm afraid she's already taken, friend." The white-haired jonin laid a hand on the man's shoulder before he could get away. "I've noticed you've been peaking in on my girlfriend."

He didn't reply.

Kakashi watched Chiisai as she pulled a book and handed it to the girl. "I realize you have your orders from Danzo, but let me make one thing clear." His grip tightened but his voice remained relaxed. "If anyone lays a hand on her, I can personally guarantee they will suffer the wrath of the Copy Ninja."

The ninja didn't move but said, "Are those your orders from Lady Tsunade?"

His eye lingered on the woman. Kakashi's words grew serious. "This is coming from a boyfriend who dislikes having someone stalk his girlfriend. You won't find what you're looking for with her."

The Foundation member put his hands together, signaling his departure. "We already have."

He disappeared, leaving Kakashi crouching by himself. What the man said was clearly a threat, and he had wanted the jonin to see him, to come after him. Danzo knew what Chiisai was capable of and he wanted it known. What was he planning?

Before Kakashi could delve into his thoughts, a voice called up, "Get down from there!"

The jonin smiled down at Chiisai as he swung his legs over the edge. "But I have such a lovely view."

The girl’s eyes widened on seeing him. “You’re Kakashi the Copy Ninja!” She stepped behind Chiisai, half shielding herself from him. He had never been good with kids. Her eyes darted up to Chiisai as she asked, “You know him?”

Chiisai smiled and replied, “Mai, this is my boyfriend. Boyfriend, this is Mai.”

He noticed Mai’s grip tighten on the book. “You’re dating him??”

Kakashi’s eyebrow shot up at her statement. Was it really so difficult to believe? He had heard the villager’s gossip in passing. It was idiotic for them to assume what sort of women were his type. It was almost insulting, and not fair to Chiisai. But his expression changed when Chiisai choked out a laugh and said, “Of course. Did you think I was with someone else?”

Mai tugged on Chiisai’s sleeve. The librarian bent down and Mai whispered, “The librarian guy looks a lot nicer than him.”

His eyebrows furrowed when he heard it. His gaze flickered to Koshuu, who was busy checking out books on the other side of the library. Chiisai covered her mouth as laughter burst from her lips. After a moment to regain her composure, Chiisai whispered back. It was difficult to catch most words, and after a moment of them whispering, Mai grinned and pulled away. 

Looking up at Kakashi, she shouted, “She’s thinks you’re real handsome!”

The entire library stilled at the loud noise. Chiisai went rigid, her eyes darting around to the people walking by. She bent her head down and pressed her hand to her forehead. Someone giggled, and Mai stood proudly beside her, as if she’d beaten the Hokage at janken.

Kakashi grinned down at them and said, “Thanks for letting me know.” He pushed off and landed in front of them. Chiisai took a step back, about to say something, but Kakashi’s attention wasn’t on her. He crouched down and whispered in Mai’s ear. Her eyes widened, and she turned to Chiisai. She cupped her hand around her lips and whispered loudly, “He thinks you’re beautiful!” 

Chiisai blinked in surprise. She tucked her bangs behind her ear and smiled, “That’s very nice of him to think that.”

Mai glanced up at Kakashi as he straightened. “That was smooth.”

Kakashi smiled down at her in response, and Mai’s eyes went wide. Her gaze flickered up to Chiisai. “I see why you like him.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII A few hours later IIIIIIIIII

Crossing her arms, Chiisai muttered, "So Danzo gets away again?"

Tsunade shook her head in anger. "What ever injection they administered had already filtered out of your body. You blood showed nothing abnormal."

The blonde switched her attention to the jonin. "Kakashi, what we discussed earlier?"

He looked straight ahead, avoiding Chiisai's gaze. "I reject it."

She nodded, a hint of a smile showing. "Alright then. It seems the council members have overturned my request at your time off. You are needed on an assignment. I will have ANBU watch over Chiisai and also…"

*Poof*

Kakashi sighed as the cat landed on Chiisai's shoulder. She jumped back, her eyes wide, but the ninneko balanced herself easily. "You're late," he said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," She said with false sincerity. Giving him a glare, Tomo retorted, "A masked ninja crossed my path so I obviously had to take another route."

Tsunade said, "Tomo will be with you 24/7, Chiisai. Kakashi, you leave tomorrow for your mission. Here's the file."

Kakashi stepped forward and took the folder. "Are you sure Danzo won't make a move on her?"

Shaking her head, Tsunade sighed, "You can never be sure of what he'll do. But you will be guarded, Chiisai. There is no need to worry."

Chiisai scratched Tomo's ear, muttering, "I feel like there's always a need to worry."

Nobody responded but all indefinitely agreed.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

An awkward silence hung in the air as both knew the eminent outcome this morning would bring. Kakashi, unable to handle the silence and Tomo's frequent staring, suggested, "You should do the laundry while I'm gone."

Her eyes scanned over her half-eaten plate. "Yeah."

He watched as Chiisai fed Tomo straight from her chopsticks. "Don't feed her like that."

She didn't look at him. "This is why she doesn't like you."

Kakashi glared at Tomo as she rubbed up against Chiisai. "Well, I hope she enjoys my absence for the next couple of days, because when I get back she's not allowed to sleep with us."

Chiisai laid her chopsticks down and eyed Kakashi curiously. "Are you jealous that I cuddled with her instead of you?"

He didn't deny it but went on to point out, "I couldn't sleep because she purposely flicked her tail in my face every ten minutes. And then she pretends she can't understand me." He sighed. "You're blessed you can sleep through everything. Her sporadic prancings kept me up all night."

"Has she followed you into the bathroom yet?"

He nodded and glanced at the demon cat beside her. "It's creepy the things cats do."

Tomo hissed and said, “You don’t understand the complexity of my species.

Chiisai gave a soft laugh. Waving a hand, Chiisai reassured him, “Tomo’s right. What she does is normal, and after a while you'll get used to it."

Resting his arm on the table, he asked, "So you're okay with her staring at your naked body?"

"Yeah."

"Then why won't you let me do the same?"

Giving him a look, she retaliated, "You're not a cat. And you've already seen me half-naked."

"Which time? While bandaging your bloody back or waking up to see you in your underwear? I much prefer the latter, by the way."

She abruptly stood from the table. "Don't bring that up so casually!" Embarrassed and face reddening, Chiisai grabbed her plate and took it to the sink. “It’s not my fault drunk dreams make me drunk!”

He leaned back in the chair as he watched her hips sway. "I can't talk about how beautiful my girlfriend is?"

Shaking her head, Chiisai choked out, "I'm not really you're-"

Kakashi was instantly behind her, trapping her to the counter. She raised her head up as he whispered, "You're not what? You can't deny the attraction."

She didn't meet his eye. “There’s more to a relationship than just attraction. And this is a mission."

He leaned closer, pressing himself against her. "Can we really call it a mission when it's so obvious how we feel about each other?" Narrowing his eye, he smirked, "Admit it, you can't help but like me."

His body heat graced her frame as she stammered, "Farm boy-"

He tilted her chin up. "Say my real name."

Chiisai tore her face from his grasp. "I don't want to."

"Why?"

Glaring into his vest, she said quickly, "Look, your name means scarecrow, mine is small crow, and Tomo's means corn. It's just odd and I don't like it."

His grip on the sink relaxed. "I see. So the scarecrow is supposed to protect the corn and frighten the crow off?"

She nodded. "But instead you protect me and you hate Tomo. It's all backwards."

Tilting his head down to her, he offered, "If it's all backwards, does that mean the crow is drawn to the scarecrow instead?"

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "Nice illustration, Scarecrow."

"How does the crow feel?"

A soothing yet irritated voice called out from behind them. "The corn thinks you both are nauseating."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. It was true he would have to wait an eternity for her to say anything regarding love, but something as small as this could ease the process. "Chiisai?"

The man only had one eye visible, but the look it gave her still managed to make her heart skip a beat. Leaning away from him as far as she could, she admitted, "The crow, against her better judgment, enjoys the scarecrow's company a bit too much."

"Do you want to be with me?”

"I knew you heard that conversation." Darn it, her face was getting redder by the second. "Kakashi, I would like to be with you.” The words felt like a punch to her gut as she realized she'd been holding her breath.

Finally some progress. Not stopping, the jonin prodded her further. "Do you want to be my girlfriend, regardless of the mission?"

The sound that came out of her radiated frustration. "Why do I have to say it if you already know how I feel?"

"Is that a yes?"

She reached her breaking point and jammed a finger into him. Her words tumbled out before she could stop them. "Look, I want to be your girlfriend. I want you to be happy and I'm worried about your mission and scared that something's going to happen and I don't know how I'm going to sleep without you beside me." Her eyes widened at the realization of what she had done, but the words were already out. "I've said too much, haven't I?" She laid a fist into his chest. "These stupid emotions."

He leaned forward until their faces were centimeters apart. "You've said just enough." His eyebrow raised in question as he tilted his head. Afraid of what was about to happen, Chiisai glanced around and noticed the clock. "I have to go to work in a few. When are you supposed to leave?"

He was disappointed with her response, but her body language was enough to satisfy him. Following her gaze to the time, he shrugged, "An hour ago."

"What?!" Her eyes widened and she shoved him away. "You need to go!"

He would have tripped over Tomo if he wasn't a ninja. Glaring at the cat, Kakashi went to get his plate on the table. "Eh, everyone knows I'm the king of tardiness."

Chiisai frantically ran through the apartment and grabbed his things. "Here, take your pack and don't forget your scarf. It's cold outside." She grabbed the dish out of his hands and pushed his bag into him. "You're going to start a war if you miss your client!"

"Chiisai."

His tone caused her to halt midstep. "What?"

Kakashi wrapped the scarf around his neck as he said, "I should be back Saturday morning."

She scratched her head before nodding. Tomo hopped into her arms. Without looking at him, Chiisai whispered, "Be careful."

He could see the worry in her downcast eyes. "I will." He patted Tomo, who responded with another hiss. Turning his attention back to Chiisai, Kakashi ruffled her hair and teased, "Don't mess up the place while I'm gone."

Remembering the time, she pushed him out the door. "Now go!"

She shut the door, shaking her head in disapproval. How can someone consciously be so late? 

tap tap!

Curious, she followed the noise to the window. Kakashi crouched on the railing outside as snowflakes fell. His knuckle rapped the glass again. Sighing, she sat the ninneko down and hurried to the window. The morning air sent a shiver through her as she opened it.

"I forgot something."

He didn't make a move to come in but kept his eye trailed on her. Perplexed, she glanced back to the kitchen. He probably left Icha Icha Paradise on the counter. Her breath was visible as she said, "Did you-"

Kakashi placed his hand around her neck, guiding her to him as he pulled his mask down. Her eyes widened as he pressed his lips against hers. The heat off his skin combined with the cold made her gasp, allowing him to deepen the kiss before she could break away. Giving in, her hands found the sides of his face, her thumb tracing his jawline.

He soaked her in, relishing the moment before it passed. He would be gone for only a few days, but not being with her for that long…

Kakashi rested his forehead on hers. "I'm going to miss you."

Gazing up at him, Chiisai whispered back, "I'll wait at the main gate when you get back."

"I'd like that," he smiled.

Realizing how much time wasted, Chiisai pulled back and said, "You better get a move on."

The jonin yanked his mask up, shaking his head hopelessly at her. He glanced at Tomo, who gave him a quick nod.

"See you, Chiisai." He disappeared from view as she faintly whispered back, "Goodbye, Kakashi."


	15. A New Threat

The two days without him could not go by quick enough.

Even with Tomo, the apartment stood cold and vacant. No one nagged her about cleaning up after herself or dirtying the dishes. There were no sighs of annoyance or playful teases. The place filled with silence, but the quiet was no longer the comfort it used to be.

What she hated the most about him not being there was during the nighttime. The first time she tried to sleep ended in failure. Even with the ninneko curled beside her, the cat compared little to Kakashi's presence. The bed held too much space, and no matter what she did Chiisai's eyes wouldn't shut. She didn't realize how well she adapted to sharing a bed, and now that the whole mattress was to herself it didn't feel right at all. And the worst part-

She missed him. And everything reminded her of it.

Even worse, she had sunk to the level she didn't think possible. She wore one of his shirts to bed.

With nothing else to do, her mind chaotically recalled moments with the Kakashi. At first meeting, Chiisai ran into him in the street. He had turned away from Gai while she walked past them, and the two inevitably collided. Back then, he was a nuisance to her as his old nightmares spilled across her vision. And then him catching her later in a bookstore glancing at an erotic novel…No wonder he had taken an interest in her. He even helped her pick out that cheesy novel Dreaming of Love. Why had he done that? At least he knew she didn't care much for those kinds of books. But he also didn't like the fact her keen interest nowadays revolved around tragedies.

Tragedies. Now that she thought about it, both she and Kakashi's lives were just that. And in most of the tragedies she read, couples only had an even more tragic ending.

Would they suffer the same fate as those in her books?

The more Chiisai thought about it, the more logical it sounded. Could a relationship with Kakashi go anywhere?

Dating led to marriage. Marriage led to children. Watching her parents over the years made her fear such a relationship. And with her dream powers, having kids didn't seem infallible. What if her abilities were hereditary? Of course, there was no proof of the possibility, but the question had always nagged at the back of her mind. Knowing what she survived over the years, Chiisai couldn't stand the thought of her own child going through the same thing. And what would Kakashi think if that were to occur? Having to stop his own child from committing suicide to wake up? No, Chiisai wouldn't let that happen.

Gods, what was she thinking? Thoughts of a future family were out of the question. Her mind was made up. The relationship would only turn into disaster. Besides, most of the time they were nagging each other. And she didn't want to make his life difficult. Everything about her was difficult.

Yes, her mind was made up. Yet her pulse continued to speed up and deep down she knew her heart disagreed.

It disagreed completely.

That part of her treasured Kakashi as if he were the first cool raindrop after a blistering drought. He was the steady ray of light in Chiisai's world of darkness and each moment with him drew her further away from the path she had walked for so long. Thinking of him right now caused something within her to stir. Just his eye gazing at her had her instantly under his spell.

The thought caused a splinter to drive itself into her skull. She squeezed her eyes shut as voices filled her head.

‘"Chiisai, You have me under your spell."

"You're the one with the Sharingan. Shouldn't I be the one under your spell?"

"I believe the correct term is genjutsu, milady."’

The pain subsided, taking with it the memory. She groaned at the déjà vu that constantly plagued her. The memory was at the tip of her conscious but it was impossible to grasp as always.

Chiisai sighed, flipped over, and stared up at the ceiling. But she didn't want her eyes exposed to the world right now. She groaned in frustration as she flipped over again while simultaneously disturbing Tomo's slumber. The cat lazily plopped on top of her and nestled into the small of her back.

"Can't sleep?"

Her hands tightened around the pillow. "Mmm."

Tomorrow she would make herself sleep. And then she would find Kakashi in the dream world.

Chiisai hoped he was doing better than she was.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Kakashi's mission was a simple one really. He was to meet the Stone ambassador at the check point and escort him back to Konohagakure. It was a common practice more out of diplomatic courtesy. Some ambassadors provided their own escorts while others refused to have one. This one though already had his own.

The ambassador, known as Dai, was said to have been on the same team as the Third Tsuchikage decades ago. He was worn with age, but the air around him spoke of his times in battle. He reflected his village quite well: though he was elderly, he was callous, gruff, and resilient.

The only thing gentle about his escort was his lavender eyes, but even those held no warmth. Though the shinobi wore the standard Iwa's uniform, his sleeveless arm was covered in wrappings. Kakashi believed it would be best if no words were spoken between them at all. The Stone Ninja radiated arrogance, cruelty, and had the look of a man who would not hesitate to kill.

He reminded Kakashi of his younger self.

The ambassador looked the jonin up and down before he said, "So, you're Konohagakure's escort? Hatake Kakashi?"

"It seems so."

"Good." He nodded before turning away. "Let's get a move on."

Kakashi silently fell in step with the two, already hating the mission. It was quiet for about an hour before anyone spoke. Dai didn't glance at Kakashi but asked, "How's the leaf village's new weapon?"

"Hmm?" The jonin blinked at the ambassador, not surprised by his bluntness.

"I hope to meet the person who was responsible for your all's incident not too long ago."

"Ah," Kakashi replied, "news travels fast, doesn't it? However, I'm afraid you've heard wrong."

"Oh," the man furrowed his thick brows. His expression was that of offensiveness. "How so?"

As usual, his voice remained level as he lazily went on. "We purged what was responsible for it."

The two Stone shinobi glanced at each other. The lean one growled, "He's not lying."

Kakashi shrugged, though his mind was turning at the information. Someone who was a living lie detector usually monitored chakra levels of the target. Meaning he was a sensory ninja.

"I forgot to introduce my bodyguard, didn't I? This is Hitoshi." Dai's smile darkened. "He is an expert in many fields."

"Hmm." Kakashi evenly spoke, "You're the descendent of the Second Tsuchikage."

"I'm honored you've heard of me," Hitoshi replied.

So the village believed that Konoha had a weapon and they brought along a sensory ninja, and a ruthless one at that. It was logical then to deduce that they planned on using Hitoshi to find the person accountable for what occurred several months ago. This wasn't about a conference over the peace treaty or the exchange of the Stone ninja in Konoha's possession. No, Iwagakure firmly believed the leaf held a weapon and they planned on finding it. And if they were this desperate, the capture of the Stone ninja may not have been coincidence after all. It was most likely planned so Iwagakure would come to the Leaf.

Chiisai didn't have to use her chakra to get in the dream world, but often times she did. Absorbing nightmares and placing shadow clones in dreams, and who knows what else she did emitted chakra. And though only a small amount was seen in the dreamer, it could still be detected if one looked hard enough. And with her trying to strengthen her powers nowadays, she would shine like a beacon to Hitoshi once they made it to Konoha.

Dammit, he was leading them straight to her.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Oh, is she the one?"

"I think so. They said she looked like death."

"Do you see how messy her hair is? Did she cut her bangs blindfolded?"

"What do you think he sees in her?"

This wasn't the first conversation Chiisai overheard like this. After all, there was a reason she didn’t like going out in public with him. The ongoing struggle to keep her sanity was bad enough as it is. And now the kunai's of jealousy had thrown her into another battle. There were two ways to solve this predicament: either prove their misconceptions through kindness or show them the bitch they thought she was.

"Can I help you?"

The two young women glanced down at her, even more amused by her height. "Oh no, we were just wondering if you're Kakashi's girlfriend."

She crossed her arms. "I am."

"Really?" The brunette turned to the other with a giggle before replying, "But you're so…"

Raising an eyebrow, Chiisai calmly offered, "Please, go ahead."

"Well, you're not very impressive."

The other pointed her finger and gestured to all of the librarian. "Kakashi is an elite ninja and you hardly meet his standards. You don’t seem special, and you’re not even a ninja."

"Hmm." Chiisai studied the two. They were obviously enjoying their assault. Their dreams spilled into her and she let them overtake her. The two dreamed about each other often, suggesting their friendship was close. One girl dreamed about a man recently, but it was out of heartache and longing. Possibly she had just broken up with someone. And the other one radiated feelings of over-confidence while she dreamed. But she feared loneliness.

It was times like these where Chiisai, despite all, could empathize with people. Knowing what truly lurked beneath their words made it easier to understand them. But right now she didn't want to understand them. For once, she wanted to blindly let loose without knowing the repercussions on their psyche. Today, sympathizing wasn't going to happen when she was in such a foul mood.

"If it helps your self-esteem, I don't find myself impressive either," she spoke calmly, startling the women. She observed like a professor, "Now, what you just said appears to be a reflection of yourself. What you meant to say was, 'Kakashi is an elite ninja and I definitely meet his standards. I'm special in every way." She met eyes with the girl who had her mouth partially opened. "Did I come close?"

The other girl snarled, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Glaring back, she replied, "I'm not in the mood for you both to destroy my mentality so you can feel better about yourselves. If you’re this shallow then I understand why you’ve never been in a long term relationship." Her hands tightened into fists. "Now, if you two aren't going to check out any books I suggest checking yourselves out instead. Or maybe you should find a self-help book."

Putting her hand around the other girl's shoulder, the brunette finished with, "Wow, you really are a bitch."

The two walked away, and one muttered, “How did she know I’ve never been in a long term relationship?”

Tomo watched Chiisai as the two other women left. The ninneko had excellent hearing and the whole conversation still rang in her ears. Her gold eyes trailed the librarian as she ran her hands shakily through her hair. It was clear that Chiisai was distressed, and not sleeping at all did little for her. Before the ninneko stood to get to her, her coworker, the one who always half-grinned, walked up to Chiisai. So the cat listened on. Just like Kakashi instructed, Tomo kept an eye on Koshuu, making sure he wouldn't make a move on her human.

"You handled that well. Does this happen a lot?"

She and Koshuu trudged back to the counter as she muttered back, "It’s been the first confrontation. But their words aren’t new."

He flattened his voice. "I didn’t realize. Is this how people treat you? All because you’re dating Kakashi?"

Rubbing her temples, she replied, "He’s a celebrity ninja who’s never dated. And I’m not even a kunoichi. A lot of people have something to say about it."

He raised an eyebrow and noted, "That hardly seems fair."

With a glare, she responded, "I’m capable of handling it. Besides, you had something to say about it too.” Her finger jabbed his chest as she added, “And don't tell Mizuki what just happened or else she'll have a fit at my customer service."

He smiled and said, "I won’t tell Mizuki if you’re nice to me the rest of the week. And let me walk you home.”

"You know that’s not going to happen, idiot. You think I want more people talking about me?"

"Alright, alright." Shaking his his head, Koshuu sighed, "Your boyfriend will probably have my head soon anyway."

"True," Chiisai nodded. "He's not fond of someone hitting on his girlfriend. Then again, most boyfriends are like that."

"That damned bastard doesn't know what he has."

Her fist came down on top of his head, and he cried out. "Don’t talk about him like that," Chiisai yelled. Koshuu rubbed the top of his head and backed away. “Sorry, sorry. Geez.”

Chiisai handed him a slip of paper. "Take this list and call everyone on it. Their books are still overdue."

His eyes widened at the long list before redirecting his state of frustration at Chiisai. "First: you know I hate calling people. Second: the library closes in fifteen minutes."

"Life's not fair, but we get used to it."

About that time, someone burst into through the doors. "Chiisai! I'm here to walk you home!"

"Shhh!"

Gai stopped. "Oh, right." His yelling turned into a harsh whisper that didn't help at all. "I'll use my inside voice!"

He made his way up to Chiisai and Koshuu. The woman frowned, "Did Kakashi tell you to do this?"

The jonin jutted a thumbs up as he grew louder. "Of course! It gives me the perfect excuse to come over and make my famous curry!"

She did not need this today. As calmly as she could, Chiisai said, "That's okay, Gai. You don’t have to do that.”

The ninja took a step back, gasping at her indifferent tone. With a look of horror, he pointed a finger and accused, "That's exactly something Kakashi would say! I must remedy your attitude with my spicy curry. I won't let my eternal rival alter such a spirited flower!" Gai paused his short monologue. Placing a hand on his chin, he asked her curiously, "Do you own a dress?"

"Huh?"

"For tomorrow, I'm going to clothe you like the blossom you are! Maybe then you won't wilt as much under Kakashi's influence." Picturing his best friend’s reaction made him bark out a laugh. "I can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees you!"

Koshuu grinned as Chiisai sighed. She could never say no to Gai.

Her coworker whispered, "What did you say again? Life's not fair but get used to it?"

She slammed her palm against the back of his head, causing him to yelp in pain. 

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

He willed himself to move, to push Chiisai out of the way. He wasn't worth saving. The stupid girl was trying to protect him. He needed to move!

But he was trapped under Kuroi's control, and nothing could be done. All the jonin could do was stare ahead as she smiled sadly, "I'm sorry, Farm Boy. I guess I liked you more than I thought."

Kuroi's chakra grazed her back, causing her to go limp as the last words left her lips. Her hand fell from his face, her fingers trailing down his cheek. Kakashi was left to watch as her father absorbed the remaining chakra out of her.

He screamed her name at the top of his lungs but all he heard was Kuroi's laughter bellow throughout the chamber. Chiisai's small body hovered in the air as she contorted in pain. No no no this wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

The rest of her chakra was sucked away. For a brief moment, her saw her body sag before gravity took effect. Slowly, painfully, what remained of Chiisai fell to the cold ground, where she hit it, rebounded, and then sank for the last time.

Her hair fell over her face, and all he wanted to do was brush it back, to see her blink up at him, to smile, to say his name. The hole she filled inside him ripped open wider than before, and he sunk once again into a darkness that shadowed his soul. Everyone he loved always met the same fate.

Kakashi gasped as he body suddenly flexed. Relief flood his chest and the despair in his heart vanished. He managed to catch himself and he looked around wildly. Kuroi and the chamber disappeared, along with his shattered heart. 

Chiisai, the real Chiisai, staggered to her feet. She managed to smile, "Looks like my range is finally improving."

He was dreaming. And she just absorbed his nightmare.

Eye narrowed, Kakashi ordered, "Chiisai, get out of my mind now."

She blinked up at him. “Is something bad happening?”

A kunai appeared in his hand when she made no attempt to move. "Don’t use your power again tonight." Fighting the rift in his heart, Kakashi closed his eye as he plunged the kunai into her, convincing himself he wasn't killing her. No, he was waking her up.

She stepped back, frowning at the blood. 

He caught her as she crumpled. The mantra replayed over in his head as he brushed her brown strands of hair back. She would wake up, she wouldn't die. "I'm trying to protect you."

"Well, I’ve stabbed you plenty of times. It’s about time you returned the favor." Chiisai cringed at the pain, but she couldn't heal herself if what Kakashi said was true. Damn, things just got a whole lot complicated if someone could sense her chakra. "Well," she said, "then I guess I’ll see you in the morning."

His eye widened with distraught. She would be waiting at the main gate in the morning, in perfect view of Dai and Hitoshi. As Kakashi opened his mouth to warn her, she disappeared. The dream she altered vanished with her, throwing him back into reality.


	16. Back Home

"Good morning, ma'am, how are- Chiisai? Is that you?"

She lifted a hand in a wave as she approached the main gate. Her shoes crunched under the thin blanket of snow, leaving a trail of footprints behind her. "Hey."

Kotetsu and Izumo both raised their eyebrows at the woman in front of them. "Wow. I didn't recognize you. You waiting for Kakashi?"

Tomo sat on her shoulder, observing the two males. They looked harmless enough. Chiisai scratched under the ninneko's chin and replied, "Yep."

Kotetsu couldn't help but smile, "So you dressed up to see him?"

She turned her head away abruptly, her hair following behind while her face flushed pinker than her clothes. Tomo purred with amusement as she balanced herself with Chiisai's movements.

"Gai made me do it," she mumbled.

Izumo frowned and glanced over her. "Did he pick out that outfit? And I thought he had no taste with that jumpsuit of his." He took a sip of coffee to ease his constant shivering. It was too cold to be sitting all day here. And it was only nine.

"Eh, he could have done better. She needs something in her hair. A matching hat would have been cute with the gloves."

Izumo, glancing at his friend, questioned, "Are you a fashion expert now?"

"Well," Kotetsu leaned back, "I'm more of an expert than you are. Your bandanna is always one shade lighter than your uniform." He waved his hand up and down with a tsk. "The colors clash."

The chunin shot back, "What about that marking on your chin, Kotetsu? You trying to cover the fact you can't grow a beard?"

His eyes widened before glaring at Izumo. His hands slammed on the desk as he replied, "Oi, I can grow a beard whenever I want! You on the other hand-" A sound broke him from his rant. The two blinked at Chiisai, who failed at holding in a giggle.

Was this a normal display of friendship? The more you know someone the more you insulted them? But wasn't that flip-flopped? Everything nowadays was backwards, and she couldn't help but laugh while enjoying the two's company. Having such a relationship outstretched her grasp and it only made her crave more. The closest she came to achieving a friendship like this was with Koshuu.

They dropped the matter on hearing her laughter. Kotetsu offered, "So, what do your parents think about dating Kakashi?"

Her mouth closed instantly while her eyes found her shoes. Fresh snow stuck to the soles like the guilt that clung to her heart. She knew what one of them thought, and it definitely wasn't approval. The words steadily poured out. "My parents are no longer living."

All fell silent at the news. Finally shaking his head, Kotetsu whispered with remorse, "I am so sorry. I didn't-"

"You baka!" Izumo hit the back of his head. "Don't go asking personal questions like that!"

"It's fine." Chiisai smiled, though everyone knew the falsity of it. "Is Kakashi as late coming back as he is leaving for missions?"

"Eh, I guess it depends on the mission. Wait, let's see the papers.” Izumo filed through the small stack wanting to please the woman, to hear her laugh again. "He and the Stone ambassador should be arriving shortly. Those bastards keep sneaking into our territory, don't they? Didn't we capture one of their ninja?"

"Two actually." Both gave her odd looks. Tomo nuzzled the side of her face as Chiisai explained, "Uh, I heard about it."

"Iwagakure is always suspicious of other villages. They probably think we have some super jutsu that puts people to sleep or something."

Her heart skipped a beat as she croaked out, "What?"

"Didn't you hear all the ruckus from that sleeping thing? We were threatened by several countries because what happened was so isolated. They thought we were testing some new technique or that a weird sickness had been unleashed." Kotetsu finished sadly, "Our trust with the other hidden villages is at an all-time low."

Izumo frowned, "You remember when we both woke up and they said they found us tied up with wood?"

"Yeah," he crossed his arms, "I still don't believe that."

Chiisai couldn't be hearing this right. "But I thought everything had been resolved. It's been months since that's happened."

"Nothing's ever resolved. They stopped threats of attack, but everyone still thinks something fishy is going on."

Kotetsu added, "I think it was aliens."

"Aliens?"

"Of course." He gave his friend a look before pointing up. "They live on the moon."

The two eyed each other for a few seconds. They simultaneously barked out a laugh at the idiocy. After the two calmed, Kotetsu stretched and scanned the entrance. "There they are."

She turned to the main gate, her heart fluttering at who arrived. Before she could rest her gaze on Kakashi, however, someone else caught her attention.

His lavender eyes narrowed at Chiisai. Shivers snuck their way through her and it wasn't from the chilled air. No, the chilly air was from him, it was him. Something was wrong with the man, his casual stride but stern posture, his spindly fingers twitching with some unknown agenda.

"My, it's nice for once to be greeted by someone like you. Are you perhaps some other type of escort, one for our pleasure?" Tomo's ears flattened at his words, and she uttered a small hiss at the lean shinobi. He leaned closer to her, extending his hand to the small of her back. 

Chiisai met his gaze with a glare and blocked his arm. “I’m not an escort.”

The man blinked in surprise. He smiled down at her and replied, “Oh, I like you.”

“Enough. You know the Leaf doesn’t bother with such things.” The older man’s voice spoke with authority. He turned to Chiisai and added, "I apologize for my bodyguard."

She only nodded. A hand grazed her side and a tall figure stepped up beside her, or more like in front of her. Kakashi challenged the Stone ninja as he intertwined his fingers with Chiisai's. The stranger's brows creased slightly as he met Kakashi's cold eye. He nodded half-heartedly, "Ah, it seems you are someone else's."

"Let's go. We can find the Hokage from here." The ambassador nodded towards everyone before he and his bodyguard walked off.

Both of the chunin's faces contorted with anger as one said, "Is that how the Stone Village acts? Pathetic."

Kakashi watched the two Stone shinobi turn around the bend. The tension in his muscles didn’t go unnoticed by Chiisai and she squeezed his hand. Shaking his head, Kakashi redirected his focus back to her. He willed himself to relax on seeing her anxiety.

He said, "We won’t see them for long."

“Will you get in trouble for not taking them to Lady Tsunade?”

“You seemed to be a significant distraction for Hitoshi. I think she’ll understand my reasoning.” He looked her up and down before finishing, "You shouldn't dress like that."

She shut her eyes, mentally cursing Gai. 

Tomo met his eyes. The look she gave him made known his error. What had he said to make Chiisai upset? He only said she shouldn't dress…Oh.

Kakashi took her hand and brought it up to his masked lips. "You look beautiful, Chiisai. Don't misunderstand," he smiled. "What I meant was you shouldn't dress like that because I want you all to myself."

The pit in her stomach erupted in flames, and a blush spread across her cheeks. She stammered, "D-Don't be so blunt about things like that."

He held on to her hand as they made their way down the crowded street. Kakashi couldn't help but glance at her every few moments. The bits of falling snow wove their way into her hair, creating a crown of white. It reminded him of a bride. Calmly, he asked, "Did you miss me?"

Tomo said, "She didn't sleep a wink the first night."

Chiisai glared at the ninneko on her shoulder. "Tomo!"

"I see,” Kakashi nodded. "You must be tired then."

"Me? What about you? Your mission-"

"-was successful." Kakashi kept his head straight forward. The subject dropped, but she still had to know. "What about him?"

His voice lowered as he replied, "We can discuss it later." Kakashi squeezed her hand, enjoying her fingers nestled warmly between his. For once he wasn't alone after coming back from a mission. Kakashi was exhausted for several reasons, but having her with him, heading together to the apartment, well…

"For now, let's go home."

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"The ambassador arrived this morning, Lord Danzo."

"Good. Did he bring along the sensory ninja?"

"Hai," the Foundation member nodded. "They have already met her."

“Then he’s already felt her unnatural chakra."

Hesitating only briefly, the ninja went on to say, "Sir."

Danzo's eye scanned the man kneeled before him. His pause between sentences meant bad news. "Yes?"

"The researchers have given their report on her blood. Her DNA alone cannot replicate the ability. Without Chiisai herself, it seems the power is impossible to recreate."

His knuckles bore white against his dark cane but his voice remained level like always. "That is disappointing but manageable. And the poison from Kabuto?"

"They have said it is slow to take effect but is seemingly untraceable once inside the victim."

Danzo nodded, appearing pleased at the information. "Our future actions will depend on the Stone ninja. Leave Chiisai be for now." He turned away and the ninja departed. The corners of his lips turned up as he whispered, "Let us see what happens from here."

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Chiisai sighed as she she saw blood gather at her knuckles. The wounds refused to heal and they needed to be re-bandaged. But what she needed was in the bathroom.

And he was in there.

Taking a shower.

Should she knock? Sneak her way in? Wait it out? They had gone this long without an awkward run into in the bathroom. 

"What are you doing?"

Chiisai jumped and her hand flew off the handle. Turning to Tomo, she replied, "I need you to do something."

The cat walked past Chiisai with her tail held high. "No."

"Please? I need the bandages under the sink."

Tomo sat down and frowned up at the woman. "I don't have opposable thumbs. Just go in," she gestured.

Her hand lingered on the doorknob again but that's as far it she went. It was too risky. He would be wet, and steamy, and naked. Chiisai’s eyes widened at the mental image and she quickly shook her head. 

With a sigh, the cat went on to complain, "I don't understand you humans. Do I look away from a male cat when he's bathing? No. It's a natural part of life."

Chiisai rolled her eyes. "It's different with humans. We don't have fur."

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. "Does it matter?"

"Yes," she crossed her arms, "it does." Everything about it mattered.

"Even I’ve seen him naked before." She licked her chest before retorting, "Would you like me to describe him so you won’t be surprised?"

“Wh-What??” Chiisai took a step back and replied, “No, that’s a terrible suggestion!”

The door opened and she let out a cry. Her pupils shrunk at the view in front of her, her heart stopping on seeing him, fresh out of the shower and hair still dripping. A towel sat on top of his head but the rest of him…Oh gods, the rest of him.

She squeezed her eyes shut and turned away before she let the last of her focus dissipate. "I didn't hear the water go off." Dammit, she needed to pull herself together. He was just a person. Just one man with an incredible body. She was doomed. Was her nose bleeding?

"Because you were too busy discussing me without fur." He stood right behind her now, his presence an enticing welcome to her wandering mind. "Let me see your hand."

Chiisai opened her eyes but instantly closed them again. "No," she backed away. "You're naked."

Sighing, Kakashi replied, "I have a towel around my waist. Did you even give yourself time to look?"

Covering her eyes did little to stop the image from flooding her vision. "It's the s-same thing," she stammered.

A smile etched into his voice as he suggested, "So if I took my towel off?"

She went rigid. Instantly, Chiisai held out her arm to stop him. "I lied. Leave it on!"

"Just let me clean your hand." He snatched up her wrist as he eyed the wound.

Pulling away from him with eyes shut, she yelled, "I can do it myself!"

His grip far exceeded Chiisai's strength. "The more you argue the longer this will take. It's infected."

Chiisai paused. Gradually, she opened one eye. Kakashi still stared down at her, his eyebrow raised in question. He tugged on her wrist playfully and she couldn't stop herself from glancing at his broad shoulders, his tone chest, the narrow of his waist.

She squeezed her eyes shut again and Kakashi only chuckled at her embarrassment. Face flushing, she squeaked, "Can you get clothed?"

"How's your other hand?" His voice moved away but the door didn't close. The shuffling of clothes entered her ears and she knew then that he was changing right in front of her, the asshole. She pressed her forehead into the wall, only desiring to be outside where she could cool off in the snow. "Can you hurry up?"

"What about your cheek? Has that healed?"

Steadying herself, Chiisai replied, "It's almost gone."

"Good. You can open your eyes you know."

"No way," she forced out. 

He guided her hand to his chest, where her skin brushed fabric. Opening her eyes, she saw he wore a tank and sweats.

"You're hopeless, Small Tiger."

Chiisai turned her head away with a huff. "It’s your fault for being so attractive."

A smile crossed his face and he replied, “I glad to have such an effect on you.” Her face reddened even more, and he inspected her knuckles again. He dragged her into the bathroom where he then pressed a cool cloth to the skin. "It looks like it's stopped leaking."

She stared down at her hand, noticing how small it seemed compared to Kakashi's. His fingers traced around the wound, setting off sparks only felt beneath her skin. This room was too hot for comfort. "Is it really infected?"

While bandaging he smiled, "No, I just said that so you would stop being difficult."

Chiisai yanked away from him in anger, but by that time he already blocked the door. Tomo pawed on the other side, but Kakashi made no move to open it.

"You’re acting very strange." She raised an eyebrow and asked, “Why are you so worried about me?” Kakashi didn't reply as he stared down at her hand. Getting used to her fragility was something he hadn't come to terms with. His life as a ninja disregarded all things weak, but with Chiisai…

Her head tilted up to meet his eye, which was creased more than usual. "What's wrong?"

He sighed and raked his fingers through his damp hair, a habit picked up from his counterpart. The jonin took a deep breath and began, "Chiisai, that sensory ninja…"

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"It was her."

The ambassador swallowed a bite of his meal and replied, "The girl?"

The ninja glared down at his plate. "Her chakra is unnatural. It's similar to what I felt from Hatake last night."

"You can't assume the first person you see in Konohagakure is the one." The ambassador wiped his mouth and advised, "Give it time. We have a week. Let's use it wisely."

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"A week? Are you serious?"

Kakashi crossed his arms, still blocking the exit. "You can't go into anyone's dreams as long as he's in Konoha."

"So what am I supposed to do for eight hours? Just sit in the dream world?" She paced back and forth in the bathroom, which only allowed her three steps with each turn. Groaning in frustration, Chiisai rubbed her temples and said, "You don’t know what you’re asking."

His eye refused to soften and he simply stated, "It's the only way."

He was in full ninja mode and she hated every bit of it. Eyes pleading, she asked, "Why don't I just get into his mind while he's-"

"No," he cut her off. His tone hardened but he remained as still as a statue. "You are not putting yourself in any unnecessary danger, you understand?"

"But if I just-"

"The answer is no." Kakashi's voice rose and Chiisai drew back in surprise. Her dark eyes widened at his final decision, his only decision on the subject. With head down, she whispered, "Why won't you give me a chance to explain?"

His hands were an extra weight on her shoulders as he bent down eye level with her. "Chiisai, listen to me." He calmed himself. All he wanted was to make her understand, to stay safe. "Having Danzo at our backs is hard enough, but once Earth Country discovers you all hell will break loose. Do you want to endanger the village?"

She chewed on her lower lip, recalling another man who asked her the same thing a long time ago. "No."

"Then lay low. I've seen how Stone ninja work." Kakashi tucked her hair behind her ear as he continued gently, "If they discover you, they'll take you or kill you. Hitoshi might already have felt you in my mind last night."

Shaking her head, Chiisai said, "You don’t know what it’s like being idle for that long in the dream world." Her hands clutched at her sides, knowing eight hours in the dream world lasted beyond an eternity without anything to do. Could her mind survive that? But even worse things could happen if her sanity faltered like before. And if her chakra wasn’t exercised…

"Please understand, Chiisai." His grip slackened on her shoulders as the memories flooded his vision. The familiar darkness swallowed him up. He could never escape it and it would always follow after him, never relenting even after all these years. But that hole in his heart could be filled, and it slowly was thanks to the woman in front of him. He would never be worthy of it and undoubtedly it was selfish for him to yearn for such a thing. But he needed it as much as the air in his lungs.

Kakashi's voice caught as he managed to say, "I can't…I don't want to lose you too."

The pain in his expression dug into her as he closed his eye. Each layer of her heart shredded to pieces under pain's cruel claws. She didn't mean to cause such pain on him, to remind him of what he lost. Chiisai dropped all stubbornness as she pressed her forehead to his. Her hands found the sides of his face while whispering, "I'll do it, but make sure I'm still me after I wake up."

His eye found hers. "What do you mean?"

Drawing away from him, she whispered, "Hopefully you won’t have to find out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you all interested in me sharing my music playlist for this story?
> 
> On another note, I have some mediocre fanfic art on my instagram Steph_n_sketch, under “fanfiction” stories. Just in case you’re interested.
> 
> Thank you all for sticking with this story. And if you have any constructive criticism, don’t hesitate to comment! I easily make mistakes, and I never had a beta reader while writing this. :)


	17. Madness

There were no sudden changes to instantly recognize it. Like the coming of winter, the colors would gradually fade, the air turned crisp. Slowly but surely the Sun lessened its visits and darkness expanded into what once belonged to the daytime. The crunch of grass under feet was surprising, but knowing it would someday grow green again made life bearable. Nights grew colder and the sound of birds lessened. And soon every cold morning was just the start of every other day.

That was the madness she had come to know.

Madness, she realized, had no rules or guidelines in which to bide by. No, madness came at its own calling and once it sunk its teeth in you a part of it would forever stay. Like her scars, she had been marked by madness, and she could never erase it from her identity.

Chiisai only watched a few dreams before she turned them away from her sight. The dream tree made it easier to manage, but either way the dreams would come for her. They always lingered in the back of her mind, flickering back and forth between images that didn’t make sense. They called out to her chakra, and she so badly wanted to go to them. It was as if her chakra bubbled at the surface of her skin, waiting to be used.

Years of not using her powers had caught up to her too, and there was no resisting what came so naturally in the dream world. After all, her mind and chakra both were needed to balance out her abilities. And without either working together, well, sanity eventually faded from memory.

Cursed to forever think, Chiisai consumed herself with the past she had forced into the shadows long ago. If she couldn’t use her chakra in the dream world, then maybe she could use it on herself. But the memories were not so easily brought back into the light. There were secrets lurking inside of her, but they refused to yield to her demands. The more Chiisai pulled, the harder they pulled back. Under this constant strain of tug-of-war, Chiisai was yanked into the ravine of tattered memories.

They dragged her to the door to her mind, the locks and chakra still blocking the entry. And even while this was happening, the dreams continued to antagonize her, fueling her unstable chakra with the hopes of returning her to the state she abandoned a decade ago, back to where control was denied its rightful existence. Without releasing the steady build of chakra, she was bound to explode.

And chaos would rule again.

But she needed to protect the village and protect those she cared for. The Sharingan came to mind, and she held on to the image of Kakashi, as well as Itachi.

Itachi. That's what her bits of memories screamed out. They were trying to tell her something, to make her listen to what she couldn't see. The guards to her mind, the guards to her lost memories specifically, had something to do with him.

Louder the memories cried, but little was done to remember. The torn bits of memories weighed her down until she was unable to move. If she could just graze her hand across her locked memories, that white wall of chakra would throw her out. 

Waking up was the only option. Yes, reality was the rational answer.

Yet her memories pinned her down, and she couldn’t touch the barrier. The past poured into her. The struggle eventually ceased, and Chiisai closed her eyes to sleep.

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Kakashi awoke with a splitting headache.

The ninja tilted his head down. His eye only met a mop of dark hair. Chiisai was tucked safely in his arms, the same place she had been before he had fallen asleep. How odd it was to have someone to sleep next to, but her body against his eased the usual lonesome nights of nightmares. Just having her next to him lessened the stress he had come to know so well. But other forms of tension seeped their way into him, and the more he watched her…

Last night, Chiisai had taken hours to fall asleep and him even longer. And realizing he had dreamed only made him worry more for Chiisai. She never told him the meaning behind her words yesterday. What happened if she didn't use her chakra for so long in the dream world? She never mentioned any consequences of not using it. Or did it have to do with the fact she couldn't do anything about the dreams? Would that weigh on her conscience and somehow change her? He should have taken her warning to heart, but this was the only way for her to remain hidden from Hitoshi.

"Are you watching me sleep again?" Chiisai yawned as she pulled away from him.

“Good morning to you too.” Kakashi propped himself up on an elbow and gazed down at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Terrible."

After a moment of studying her, he noted, "You don't seem any different. So everything went well?"

"I do have a headache. Why would you think it didn't go smoothly?"

He opened his other eye, his Sharingan observing the woman in front of him. "You didn't use your chakra at all?" His eyebrow furrowed as her chakra churned inside her like a coiled snake.

"I see how much faith you really have in me, Farm Boy." Ignoring his chakra inspection, Chiisai climbed over him and stepped onto the floor. “I think this is going to turn into a migraine."

His red eye continued to scan over her, but her chakra seemed more abundant than ever. The way it revolved around her mind so brightly, it seemed as if it was trying to break free of some restraint.

She disappeared down the hall and into the kitchen as Kakashi's ears tracked each movement. The rattle of pills echoed, the shutting of a cabinet and the clinking of a plastic cup meeting the counter all were habitual actions, but the slight rustle of a drawer and the slick sound of a blade-

Instantly he was in the kitchen as she snatched up the knife and brought it down. He caught her arm in time. Kakashi ripped the weapon from her, where it clattered to the floor. Kakashi tightened his grip on her.

His eye narrowed, his skin lined with creases. Chiisai made no attempt to escape, rather, she stood still and offered no resistance. He demanded, "What are you doing?"

"This isn’t real." Her voice leveled, and the calmness she emitted scared him more than what she had tried to do just seconds ago. The ninja shook his head at her, his silver strands of hair following suit. Swallowing the ever rising anxiety, Kakashi replied, "What makes you think this isn't reality?"

She never broke eye contact, but the smug expression faded. Chiisai searched his face for some type of help and only turmoil answered back. Barely a whisper, she managed, "Reality's cruel, and you're too good to be true."

This wasn’t good. Kakashi kept a level gaze, his body still as he asked, "How can I prove to you that this isn't a dream?"

Chiisai tilted her head and said, "Give me the knife, and we’ll see."

He closed his eye, her words like shurikens slicing into him. Filled with remorse, he spoke, "This was what you warned me about. You've lost your sanity at my hand."

Her tone hardened, of a stubborn surety that she came to know years ago. "It’s foolish of you to think I was sane to begin with."

Searching for any sign of his Chiisai, Kakashi said, "Do you know what you asked me when I found you in the dream world, before your father separated us? He made your dream look like the village, and I found you in the library. You've said those two words to me many times."

Chiisai shook her head. "I don't need to humor a figment that my powers created to torment me. For all I know, I could still be in that same dream."

He leaned forward, his head now parallel with hers as he commanded, "Tell me what you said then."

“What do you plan to do, hurt me in order to get me to say something?” She leaned forward and added, “I welcome the pain, Kakashi.”

His eye relaxed, and he replied, “You make a fair point.” He thought back to their moments together, of when they had fought her father. He had snapped her out of Kuroi’s control with a kiss. "I had another type of arousal in mind." Kakashi pulled on her wrist. Her eyes widened as she was yanked forward. Kakashi tugged his mask down and kissed her. Chiisai pressed her hand to his chest, and Kakashi moved his lips against hers. He pulled away, his breath heavy as he searched his eyes. 

Chiisai wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “What were you trying to do?”

“That used to work on you.” His eye brightened, remembering yesterday. “You’ll forgive me for this later.” Kakashi released her long enough to make hand signs. “Shadow Clone Jutsu!”

Another Kakashi appeared behind Chiisai, and he grabbed her arms. Chiisai’s eyes narrowed at him as she said, “What’s your plan?”

“You’ll see,” he smiled. He tugged at the bottom of his shirt and slowly pulled it off.

Chiisai’s eyes widened before she squeezed them shut. “You’re stripping.”

“No eye closing.” The Kakashi behind her used one hand to force her eyelids open. Chiisai struggled against him, but all she could see was the contour of the other Kakashi’s muscles. He stretched his arms over his head, and Chiisai gulped as she watched him.

His tongue traced over his top lip. He tilted his head and asked, “Small Tiger?”

Chiisai shook her head. “This is not real. You would definitely not do this.”

The shadow clone’s lips grazed her ear as he said, “Oh, you know the types of books I read.” 

She tilted her head away from him, trying to calm her breathing. The real Kakashi took a step closer and tugged at the knot on his pajama pants. “You could say it inspired me.”

“This is highly unethical.”

“You’ve pushed me to my limits, I’m afraid. Besides, you know you like the view.” He stood centimeters from her now, his head tilted down. And then his pants fell.

Red spread from her forehead down to her cheeks and chin. She didn’t move, not even when his shadow clone flickered out. 

A smile tugged at the corner Kakashi’s lips. “You’re heart’s beating at a very high pace, Chiisai.”

She continued to stare straight ahead, but beads of sweat surfaced on her skin. “Please tell me you’re wearing underwear.”

Kakashi lowered his head. His tongue traced the shell of her ear, and a noise escaped Chiisai’s lips. His breath was warm as he whispered, “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Chiisai squeezed her eyes shut. Her hand slammed into the middle of his chest suddenly, and she yelled, “You’re such a pervert!”

He grabbed on to her hand. “Chiisai?”

Chiisai blinked several times. She stepped away from his grip, but Kakashi brought his hand up and placed them over her eyes. “Wait. Keep them closed for a second.”

Her hand went over his. “What’s going on? Why did I just call you a pervert?”

“You promise to keep your eyes closed until I say?”

Her eyebrows furrowed but she replied, “Fine. Why is my ear wet?”

“No reason.” He pulled his hand away, and Kakashi bent down and picked up his pajama pants.

But then a noise escaped her lips, and she stumbled back. Kakashi flattened his brow. “You looked, didn’t you.”

Chiisai’s eyes were squeezed shut, and she choked out, “Why the hell are you naked in the kitchen?”

He tugged the pants on and sighed. “I told you not to look.” But relief flooded his chest at her voice, and he pulled on her wrist. He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her into him, saying, “You scared me.”

Heat rushed over her, and her body froze. His frame pressed into her, and her eyes shrunk in their sockets at the physical contact, realizing only one layer of clothing separated their skin. “I have no idea what’s going on, but you need a shirt.”

“Ah, I had to resort to extremes in order to wake you up. You weren’t yourself.”

“And that was the arousal you used?” Chiisai squeezed her eyes shut, frowned, and said, “Wait, I wasn’t myself? So it did happen. Wait, did you lick my ear?” She wiped the side of her head with her sleeve, muttering, “You really like using your tongue, don’t you.”

“My arousal worked, and what matters is you’re back.” Kakashi replied. “Though I was hoping you’d enjoy my little strip tease.”

Chiisai didn’t make eye contact. “This is bad. This is very bad if it’s already started. And I don’t want you stripping. More clothes would be nice, actually. Like your shirt,” she pointed. Chiisai paused as he continued to watch her, and she added, “I do not plan on returning the favor, in case you’re curious.”

Kakashi bent over and picked up the shirt. “Technically, I returned the favor,” he said under his breath.

She blinked in surprise. “That would mean you’ve already seen me naked, which I know isn’t possible.”

“Uh, well,” he stammered. He pulled his shirt back on and said, “I may or may not have accidentally seen you in the shower. When you had the concussion.”

“What?!!” 

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"So nothing."

Hitoshi slammed his hand on the table as he replied, "Nothing at all. Fuck this headache."

Dai rubbed his temples and muttered, "You have one too."

The lank man turned to his superior who only agreed with his statement. His lavender eyes locked with Dai's. "What are you thinking?"

"After the meeting with the Hokage, we tour the village." That was the simplest way to hear town gossip, and town gossip always had a sliver of truth in it. Headaches weren't very common for the Stone ninja, and if more people woke up with it, maybe there was something to be suspicious about.

"Maybe we should request Hatake as our guide," Hitoshi smirked.

Dai turned his attention to the window, where the citizens of Konohagakure were out on the morning routes. His sadist of a bodyguard loved competition, and Hatake seemed like just the right rival. "You still believe it to be the girl?"

"My instincts are never wrong." Hitoshi glared at the ambassador with distrust. Barely a chuckle, the elderly man replied, "Is it instincts or lust?"

His fist tightened briefly before he bit back on his anger. Hiring a sensory ninja and then misplacing his observations was not only idiotic but a stab at Hitoshi's pride. But the bodyguard hid his personal opinions from Dai as he said, "What I said yesterday was only a cover for when I recognized her chakra. Though I admit she was appetizing."

"She had a spark in her, didn’t she," he shook his head in disapproval. “Is that another challenge for you?”

"Especially since she Hatake’s.” Popping his knuckles, Hitoshi finished, "She’s someone I’d love to break."

"For now, we make no sudden movements." Dai faced Hitoshi and warned, "Hatake is not a man to be reckoned with. He already looked like he was going to kill you when you made a move on her." The younger ninjas were too hot-headed for Dai's liking, and though Hitoshi far exceeded most ninja, he had a weakness for women and was also a troublemaker. Especially concerning those he thought more powerful than himself.

His head snapped up. "Ah, I sense a ninja heading our way. At least jonin ranked."

Waving a hand in dismissal, Dai finished, "Then we'll discuss this later. If you truly believe it to be her, track her chakra at a distance."

"Hai."

Two stories below, a tuxedo cat slinked away through an alley with her tail flicking with worry.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

This is reality. 

"Chiisai? Why are you in here?"

It was later that night. Tomo and Chiisai turned to see a fully-clothed Kakashi. Chiisai averted her gaze and held up a notepad. “I made a list."

"Of what?” He leaned over her shoulder. Chiisai stiffened, trying to forget the image of him naked. But his little escapade had worked in waking her up from what ever craziness had kept her hostage. She shook her head, not knowing whether or not to be grateful. 

"It’s a list of what not to do in the dream world." She sighed, "If I bring up my memories, I can’t distinguish reality when I wake up." She handed him the paper before saying, "But my chakra needs to be exercised. If I don’t use it, then it builds up and takes over."

Kakashi eyed it and said, “Why is Itachi’s name on here?”

“I tried to find all my memories on him, and the chakra on the seal responded. It didn’t throw me out though." She ran a hand through her hair and added, “It was like I was drowning in my past, and there was nothing I could do. I know he sealed my memories. I just don’t know why.”

His voice hardened, "I’m not sure I like where this is going."

She dropped the pen on the desk and tilted her head up to face him. "What if my abilities were sealed not because of my father, but of something else? What if Itachi foresaw that this power would consume me like my father said?" She sighed, "My father knew more than I did, so he must have known why I was really sealed."

Kakashi pulled away from her as he recalled his rather unpleasant encounters with him. “He did note that I knew nothing of who sealed you and why. He found it rather amusing. But you aren’t allowed to make contact with Itachi. We already discussed this. It’s far too dangerous."

Tomo shook her head. “It’s difficult to believe that such a kind person massacred his clan. We ninnekos held him in such high regard.”

“I worked with him in the Anbu,” Kakashi replied. “The only kindness he showed was giving quick deaths to his enemies.”

Chiisai didn’t respond. She picked up the pen and tapped it on the desk, thinking back to her time with Itachi. He was ridiculously kind, and no one could know why he did what he did. Maybe that’s why Itachi sealed her memories- so information of him wouldn’t leak out. But would his organization really come for her if they discovered her ability? She didn’t know anything about his evil little club, only that they wore matching cloaks and the collective individuals were all S-ranked rogue ninja. And she only knew that from Kakashi.

“Chiisai,” Tomo began, “Lady Tsunade gave me permission to tell you my mission.”

The tapping stopped. “Is it about Iwagakure?”

“Yes,” she nodded. Tomo glanced at Kakashi and said, “I have certain abilities as a ninneko, and I can hide my chakra levels. I’ve been tracking the ambassador and his bodyguard. The bodyguard believes you’re related to the sleeping incident due to your unnatural chakra. And since you’re Kakashi’s mate, he’s taken an unhealthy attachment to you.”

Kakashi’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean by unhealthy attachment?” There was a growl in his tone.

“Forgive my language,” Tomo said, “but in his words, he said Chiisai would be someone ‘he’d love to break.’ The ambassador doesn’t want to make any moves though, and as long he’s in control, they won’t act against the Leaf for now.”

Kakashi’s hands turned into fists, and he stared straight ahead, trying to reign in his boiling anger. He took a deep breath, and his eye flickered to Chiisai. Her hand had a small tremor, and the pen had left her hand.

Kakashi pulled back the chair she occupied. He sighed and lifted her up in his arms, wanting to stop any heartache inside her. The physical contact stopped her trembling. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his neck.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” Kakashi whispered. “As long as we’re here, you’re safe.”

She shook her head and replied, “I’m not shaking out of fear. What kind of person decides they want to break someone?” Her eyes were cold as they met Kakashi’s. “Do I look breakable? What the hell does that even mean, anyway? Is he offended I didn’t offer him sex?”

Kakashi blinked in surprise at her outburst. “I’m not sure if I should let you sleep tonight. You may go inside his mind and kill him.”

“That would be the murder I’d least regret,” she said.

Tomo stood and stretched. “Though I would greatly enjoy the man’s death, it would probably cause a war. I can help you stay up, if you’d like.”

“I’m going to lay here awhile,” Chiisai said. “And pretend everything’s fine.”

Kakashi pulled the covers back and replied, “Are you sure you’re not going to kill him?”

“I’m sure. I can’t go to sleep anyway. My mind’s a bit…preoccupied.” Her thoughts kept flipping through today’s events and lingering on one certain image. It was like it had burned into her retinas. Why had she opened her eyes? She found herself leaning away from him, making sure they had no physical contact. But she could already feel the body heat coming off of him, and it was so cold in the apartment. Her hand gripped the covers as she pulled them over her. “Hey, Farm Boy?”

“Hmm?” Kakashi leaned over the bed and turned off the lamp. Tomo hopped on the end of the mattress, curling up below Chiisai’s feet.

Chiisai shifted away from him and said, “I know this is off topic, but- this is going to be awkward- have we both seen each other naked? In all honesty.”

Tomo’s ears prickled.

He stilled, his eye staring up at the ceiling. “Yes.” He paused, opened his mouth, and then closed it. 

“I need an explanation.”

A sigh escaped his lips. “There’s not much to tell. I went inside the bathroom and laid your clothes on the sink. In your drugged state, you opened the shower curtain and thanked me.”

“And then?”

“I drank several glasses of water and called Koshuu to stay with you. I hope you realize I find you attractive in many ways, Chiisai. It makes this mission very difficult.” He paused, and when she didn’t react, he added, “Is there anything you’d like to do with this information?

“It’s a lot to sift through. So not currently.” She turned over and faced the wall. She’d seen plenty of people naked, she rationalized. It was common for people to dream about being naked in a public place. But this was far more personal, and it was Kakashi. 

“The kunai’s in your hand, Chiisai.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s an expression.” He smiled and replied, “Goodnight.”

Chiisai gripped the sheets and stared at the wall. After a few minutes, she rolled on her back. Her hand shifted under the sheets and found his.

Their fingers intertwined, and Tomo smiled in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “The kunai’s in your hand” is supposed to be the ninja version of “the ball’s in your court.”


	18. Off We Go

She rubbed the sides of her face, hoping to dissolve the exhaustion inside her sleepless body. Thanks to Tomo, she had evaded five seizures last night. Chiisai had cooked the entire time to make sure she wouldn't fall asleep. Four bentos, a pan of creamed corn, two omelets, and five cups of coffee later, Kakashi had surprised her with this atrocity. She didn’t even know how he had time to orchestrate this.

Chiisai stared out at the wide snow-covered road in front of her, not bringing herself to step over the village border. "I can't believe we're doing this. I'm still waiting for the punchline."

"You know jokes aren't my specialty."

With a sarcastic tone, she replied, "It's good to know you're not so perfect after all."

Kakashi yawned as he rested his hands behind his head. He hadn't gotten any sleep worrying over Chiisai. "But I'm close enough. You got a look of it yourself yesterday."

“That’s on the list of topics to avoid.” She elbowed him in the ribs, but he still caught the half-smile flash briefly. Glancing down the path with hesitation, she muttered, "Are you sure about this? The library-"

"It's all taken care of, like I've said before."

"And what about Tomo?”The snow crunched under her feet as she shifted her weight. She finished, "We've all only been together a few days."

"She has to complete her mission." He patted her head and continued, “Also like I've said before."

Chiisai sighed a Kakashi's sigh before saying, "Just give me a minute. This is happening very fast." The woman readjusted the straps to her bag. "And you packed everything? This feels heavier than it should."

He watched her pick and prod at her thick clothing. His voice, as usual, withhold any emotion as he noted, "You've never been outside the village, have you?"

Stiffening at the obvious, Chiisai quickly pulled the grey scarf up over her nose as she avoided the jonin's gaze.

"Yo." He flicked the side of her head and received a glare. "Do you trust me?"

Kakashi held out his gloved hand. Blinking down and then back up, Chiisai turned her head away as he offered a smile. It was ridiculous how charming he could be. But her cheeks still flushed red. 

She blamed it on the chilly air.

Her fingers finally curled around his. Smiling once more, Kakashi pulled her along and said, "Then off we go."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

His lavender eyes narrowed at the frost-covered window. "They're leaving."

Dai placed the scroll on the table and replied evenly, "There's nothing we can do about it." He rubbed his wrist, hating how the weather could have such weight on his aging joints.

"Dammit." Hitoshi pressed his forehead against the glass as if it held the power to chill his boiling frustration. Even now, her chakra reached out, its raw energy beckoning him to her. Though Kakashi wasn't their tour guide, Hitoshi did find some useful information yesterday. The couple was the talk of the village. Kakashi's lover wasn't a ninja, in fact, she was only a simple librarian with a knack for having seizures.

But there was nothing simple about that chakra of hers.

The ambassador scanned over his writing while saying, "We have no evidence to support your claims, Hitoshi. Two nights here and there isn't the slightest sign of anything remotely relating to that sleeping incident, not even gossip about the girl. How the hell can a whole village wake up and not remember how it even happened?"

"We can't go back empty handed," he growled. "I won't allow it."

"No, we play it smart," the man replied. "This mission will fail if we jump to conclusions."

Hitoshi snapped his head in Dai's direction. "Do you not trust my abilities?"

Dai harshly replied, "We need substantial proof. One person's suspicions are not enough to justify what you want. We knew it wouldn't be easy."

"Someone-"

The two suddenly drew kunais as a cloaked figure appeared. A green stripe sat at the top of his mask. Hitoshi glared down at the ninja, noting him to be ANBU. "Who are you?"

The figure remained still and replied, "I'm a messenger sent to tell you that what you believe is correct. My master would like to meet with you tonight."

Dai stood as he put away his weapon. "And who is this master of yours?"

"Someone who wants to protect this village like you wish to protect yours."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Hohmmuhh futhah?"

He frowned down at her. "What?"

She yanked the scarf down and repeated, "I said, how much further?"

"A few more kilometers." His eye rested on her shaky frame. She was having trouble keeping up even at this pace. And with her stubbornness, she would never admit how exhausted she was. "Let's rest here for now."

The backpack fell off her shoulders as she slumped down on a log. Chiisai closed her eyes but immediately opened them. Resting her eyes would only lead to sleep. Fighting the ever tempting desire to give in to her tiredness, she forced out of chapped lips, "Do you ninjas always travel like this?"

Only if the client was as slow as she was. He withheld the remark and instead sighed, "Eh, sometimes I forget how different we are."

"Did I ever tell you I started out in the Ninja Academy?" She stared down at her gloved hands as he replied, "Nope."

"I was only there for a year," she said softly. "My parents pulled me out after I broke my arm." 

Recalling his Academy days, Kakashi said, "I'm glad we weren't in the same class." He took a drink of water and finished, "Your feelings for me would have changed drastically." He'd have eaten a girl like her alive in that ninja school. "Here, drink something."

Taking the canister, she mumbled, "I already knew who you were, Farm Boy. I could see people's dreams." She paused to take a sip. 

He leaned closer and said, "What did you think about me?"

She shoved the canister back in his hand. "The same way I think about you now: annoying." Amused by his disapproving look, Chiisai added, "But in all seriousness, my view on you changed when I saw a certain dream.” She pointed to his face and said, “The mask.”

Realization dawned on him and he hung his head. Kakashi groaned at the thought of it, of her seeing that. "So you remembered from all the way back then."

“I’m more surprised that you remembered it.” She patted him on the shoulder and reassured, "Everyone has a security blanket. Your mask is no different from the books I bury myself in, if that helps."

Curiosity peaked once more as he glanced her way. "Do you like my face?"

Chiisai rolled her eyes and pushed his head away from her. "What a stupid question. Do you ever take the time to actually look at it?"

Ruffling Chiisai's hair, he teased, "I've been too busy looking at yours lately."

Shivering, she commented, "Very cute."

"You look cold."

"Observant as ever, oh great ninja. I'm not as physically fit or healthy like you. So yes," Chiisai nodded, "I'm freezing." Numb was a better word. At this point she didn't know if she still had feet. Well, the cold did keep her from sleeping.

He wrapped an arm around her waist and yanked her to him. "Then let me warm you up."

She drew away before he could remove his mask. "I don't want you warming up any part of my body!"

He only lifted an eyebrow at such suggestive words.

Her voice dropped as she processed what she just said. "Wait, that came out wrong."

Mischief glinted in his dark eye as he scooted closer. "Hmm, what have you been fantasizing about, Small Tiger?" Kakashi pulled his mask down and smiled, entertained at the reaction it always caused.

Inching away, Chiisai stammered, "I didn't mean it like that." On seeing his expression, she added, "Get your mind out of the gutter!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow and tsked, "Let’s be honest and say both of our minds are in the gutter."

She crossed her arms and replied, “Only because you’re a negative influence on me.”

“I could say the same to you. I’ve actually been arriving on time to places, and it’s very concerning.”

Chiisai stood up and said, “You’re ridiculous.”

"Hey, I didn't say you could leave." He watched her continue to walk away so he threw a snowball, where it arched and spiraled back down, hitting her perfectly in the back of the head. "We have unfinished business."

She threw one back at him, which he didn’t even have to move to dodge. Chiisai tapped her gloved finger to her chin and thought out loud, "How did you tease me that one time? Oh yeah," She glared, "make me."

With that, Kakashi instantly stood in front of her. Smirking, he said, "Gladly."

His green vest encompassed her vision, and she took a step back. "I forget you're all ninja-ey."

Kakashi repositioned her scarf that fell off her shoulder. "I am one of the ninjiest ninjas out there."

"You're making fun of me, aren't you." Still, she allowed him to fix the piece of cloth. He lifted her hair from its confines and let the dark auburn strands fall. Seeing his job successful, he met her eyes and said, "My observational skills seem to be rubbing off on you."

Dropping her pitch to be as monotone as Kakashi's, Chiisai asked, "Are you observing how annoyed and exhausted I am right now?"

He nodded lazily, "I guess I should go ahead and kiss you then." Kakashi closed the space between them as she replied, "Smart man."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII A few hours later IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai rubbed her eyes again. She was losing what little steam she had in supply. Huddling into her favorite sweatshirt that Kakashi had so graciously packed, she muttered, "Why is this town so crowded?" Not only the town, but also the hotel they were staying at.

He didn't take his eye from the novel in his hand. "They're having their annual snow festival this week."

"So that's why you packed kimonos." Burrowing under the foreign sheets, she stopped and said, "Wait, you know I hate crowds."

"Hai." He ruffled her hair as he stated, "Just trust me. I'm testing a theory of mine."

Shoving his hand away, Chiisai said with anger, "I am not an experiment."

"I never said you were." He closed the book on noticing the circles under her eyes. Knowing what was eminent, Kakashi finally turned off the light and sank under the covers. "When you fall asleep, I need you to only step into the dreams of people that are the farthest away from Konoha."

"Pfft, how powerful do you think Hitoshi is?" A yawn escaped her, and now that her feet were warm and her stomach full, sleep was not far behind.

Chiisai wrapped her right arm and leg around him as she lifted her head. He got into position and curled his arm behind her neck. Their nightly ritual always waged war inside him, tempting him to break the contract with her body against his. Her nose brushed against his neck, her slow breaths speeding up his pulse. Kakashi closed his eye, concentrating as he whispered, "I don't want to take any chances, but I also don't want you ending up like you did yesterday morning."

Her fingers played with the ends of his silver hair, envying the softness of it. “That was my fault. I needed a distraction, and I thought my memories would do the trick." She closed her eyes and finished, "But they seem to have a mind of their own."

He rested his chin on top of her head. Chiisai felt the vibrations of his vocal cords while he replied, "You don't have to say sorry. Neither of us knew how bad it would be." His thumb traced patterns on her arm. "Itachi must have placed a powerful seal to remove only certain memories."

Exhaustion rooted itself in her and it took her a moment to respond. "Sometimes, I think I get flashbacks, but they're gone just as fast."

His thumb paused at her words. "When do they happen?"

Groggily, she whispered, "I think Itachi erased all my happy memories, because I get them when I'm with you."

Her grip on him loosened, which warned Kakashi that he had little time to continue the conversation. It almost ate at him that he extracted information this way, but the time she eased into sleep was the only time she was completely honest. "Chiisai, you and Itachi…" Why couldn't he finish the thought out loud?

"Mmm.” She faintly confessed, "I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts." Yawning again, she finished, "And it makes me mad knowing he did something to my memories. That hurts too."

And what was this sinking feeling in his chest? Maybe he didn't have to worry about Koshuu after all, but someone else. Kakashi swallowed his illogical discomfort and inquired, "You miss someone who massacred his entire clan."

There was a pause as she considered this. The best answer Chiisai mustered was, "He chose his will of fire."

He shook his head and disagreed, "I wouldn't call that a will of fire."

She ran her index finger across his collarbone, sending chills down his spine. Unaware of her effect on him, she whispered, "You didn't know him like I did. Itachi was, well…" Gradually, her movement stopped like her sentence.

Finally, he asked the thought that shackled his mind. "What bond did you two share?"

She didn't respond. He pulled away slightly and peaked down at her.

Chiisai was asleep.

Shaking his head, Kakashi returned to his position and pressed his lips against her hair.


	19. The Snow Festival

Kakashi leaned against the wall, his hand holding Icha Icha Paradise. "I thought you hated being late."

A voice rose from the other side. "These things are hard to put on, alright? I can't remember the last time I wore one." His ears prickled as Chiisai shuffled through the bathroom. "Wait, is this even mine?"

He turned a page and replied, "I bought you one."

"You bought this? I thought you hated me wearing pink."

His mind was temporarily distracted from the novel as he pictured Chiisai in her pink coat. The way it appeared as a short dress, running tight before flaring out at the waist. Those high boots she wore, how it fitted her shins and ended just above the knees, leaving only four inches of skin visible between that and the coat. But the four inches had been enough to stir his arousal. He still didn't believe Guy picked out such an outfit. "Quite the opposite." Lifting his eye from the page briefly, Kakashi asked, "Do you need help?" The question fired up his mischief, and he crept closer to the door. Maybe just a little peek-

"Don't you come near this door," she commanded. Kakashi's hand immediately left the handle, his frustration rising. In a softer, more irritated tone, Chiisai muttered, "Dang this obi. Does this color even go with the season?"

"It's plum blossom. Of course it goes with the season."

He could almost see her rolling her eyes while she said, "Who knew that Hatake Kakashi was such an expert on kimono wear."

The jonin didn't hide his smugness. "I'm cultured, unlike some people."

"Humph. We'll see how cultured you are once you fall asleep, Farm Boy."

Chuckling at the threat, Kakashi read on as he continued to wait on her. The seconds turned into minutes, but he didn't mind. The extra time allowed him to run over his theory again, calculating Chiisai's hatred of crowds and what really caused such a thing. In Konoha, she saw everyone's dreams, and on seeing a person it caused them to haunt her. But as long as she stayed away from the dreams in this town-

"You look pretty good in a kimono, Farm Boy."

Kakashi glanced up from his novel. His glance shifted into a stare. Her long hair had been pulled back and bundled, but her bangs framed her face and only one strand fell out of place. It was simple, but the hairstyle completed the transformation. The kimono itself was a lighter pink, with darker colored blossoms decorating the fine silk. And as he thought, it perfectly contrasted her complexion. That one mission escorting a high-end fashion designer seemed to have helped him more than he thought.

Chiisai, taking in his silent reaction (gulping even more at his shocked eye), mumbled, "It's that bad, isn't it?"

She fled back into the safety of the bathroom, but Kakashi had her by the wrist before she could close the door. "No!" Restraining himself, he leveled his voice and went on to say, "Uh, no. On the contrary, you look...You look nice." The heat rose to his cheeks, and once again he was grateful the mask concealed most of his face.

"I feel stupid." To distract her self-awareness, she rambled, "You know plum blossoms mean pure and true?"

The bit of information filed into his thoughts. On remembering the types of flowers that surfaced while she was with him in the dream world, he said, "You know Hanakotoba. That explains a lot." It was likely the flowers that appeared in the dream world were the manifestation of emotions from her subconscious. He took a mental note to learn the meaning of flowers for future reference.

She frowned up at him, trying to recall where she learned it. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing," he smiled. Holding his hand out, Kakashi offered, "Shall we go?"

The typical confident Chiisai was nowhere to be found as she muttered, "I've never been to a festival before."

He cursed himself for glancing her way every other second. Did he not have any control of himself? Kakashi couldn't even gather his awareness of his surroundings with her beside him. What had happened to years of experience as a ninja? Apparently it had gone down the drain like his logic. But seeing her so striking while so nervous, well, the combination had a significant impact on him. Finally nodding, he replied, "Assuming as much, I'd thought we'd go to the bookstore down the road. I owe you a book, don't I?"

She only gazed down at their intertwined fingers, at the hand that had drove a kunai in her chest several nights before. "That was a joke."

Kakashi replied, "I believe a boyfriend's entitled to showering his girlfriend with gifts. Besides, you really shouldn't object to my kindness. I'm not this nice to just anyone."

"I'll keep that in mind."

She remained anxious, mostly self-conscious. "Yo." On getting her full attention, the ninja smiled, "It'll be fine."

Chiisai felt that someone had told her the same thing a long time ago, but the dip in her chest told her it hadn't ended fine at all.

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"Hatake Kakashi. Who would have guessed that you would be here."

"Boss, remember what happened the last two times we got near him?" The other comrade nodded pathetically, "It took us hours to untangle ourselves from the rope."

His thick brows tingled with the prospect of what tonight would bring. "Third time's the charm, right? Besides, I'm coming up with a brilliant plan as we speak!"

His inferior agreed with enthusiasm, "You're so smart, boss! What is it?"

He pointed his finger to the moonlit sky to further dramatize his point. "Since Hatake stole the love of my life four years ago, I've decided to take away his!" He then pointed to the street. They peeked down from the tree, watching Kakashi and the woman walking hand in hand. One comrade cried, "Amazing!"

The other nodded, "No one can resist you!" On a second thought, he added, "Well, except that girl-"

The leader of the gang brought his fist down on him, making sure he wouldn't finish such a disasterly sentence. After all, he was Aniki, a ninja from Moyagakure, and he wasn't going to let some shinobi from the Leaf outdo him, especially when it came to love. Rubbing his hands together, Aniki whispered, "Kakashi, tonight's the night I finally have my revenge! Time to start mission: Steal Kakashi's Girl!"

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Chiisai glanced at the people around her, all dressed up for the snow festival. Purples, pinks, deep reds, and shades of grey passed her vision. Fish trapped in blocks of ice were stacked neatly next to food stands, reflecting the glow from the lanterns strung above. It seemed everything assaulted her senses except dreams. She had never been able to do this before, to enjoy walking down the street without a worry. Chiisai said, "I can see everyone and no one's dreams come to mind. Not a single one." She continued to scan the crowd, not believing what she was seeing. Sowas this what normal people did?

He frowned at her tone as he steered them through the barrage of people. "You don't sound too happy."

Shaking her head, she replied, "It's just like I'm in a different world." Still in awe, she whispered, "It's amazing. Thank you, Kakashi."

"No problem," he smiled at the mention of his name, enjoying her reaction. "What do you want to do?"

"Kiss you."

His eye widened briefly before he glanced down at her. Chiisai tugged at his collar, and as he leaned down their lips-

Before they completed the kiss, a man leaned over a kiosk, nearly grabbing Chiisai by the sleeve. "Hello there, little lady! Would you like to try a hot mug of tea? Take a sample!"

She blinked at the cup in front of her nose and then back at the man. His thick eyebrows rose high with anticipation, his large lips stretched out in a grin as he offered the steaming drink. Kakashi observed him, noting something familiar and annoying about the way his eyes shifted...Not to mention his dramatic demeanor. Kakashi's attention was drawn back to Chiisai as she smiled politely, "Sorry, I don't drink tea."

That didn't stop him. "But you look so cold! Here, have a taste!"

She put her hands up and said, "No really, I'm fine."

"Please, you're hurting my feelings!" Without her consent, he shoved the beverage into her hand. She glanced at Kakashi (who only shrugged), then at the cup, and then at the overly-excited man. "Okay. Thanks, I guess."

The couple left the stand. Aniki clapped his hands with delight. Kakashi hadn't recognized him!

Another customer arrived at the kiosk, distracting him from Kakashi. Handing her a drink, the man thought to himself, Just one sip and she'll fall in love with me! This is perfect! Now, if she'll just- wait! Where'd her tea go?

Neither of them had a cup in their hand, much to his bewilderment. Did Kakashi discover his scheme? The white-haired ninja was smarter than Aniki thought. He was going to have to be more careful now…

A few feet away, an old lady sipped the warm drink so graciously given by a couple. She glanced around, searching for the stand that had such nice tea. Her eyes rested on the kiosk, and then at the man behind it. He stared intently away from her, his thick sideburns glistening from the lanterns above.

For her, it was love at first sight.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII An hour later IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai munched on Hokkaido potatoes with zest as she watched the snow sculptures from a bench. Swallowing the sweet morsel, she said, "Festivals aren't really you're thing, are they?"

He watched her breath curl in the cold air. Kakashi had already eaten his grilled scallops. With his mask already up, he shrugged, "They are if you're with me."

It seemed impossible that someone could eat so fast. As he smiled down at her, Chiisai teased, "Are you trying to get another kiss out of me?"

He raised an eyebrow as he draped an arm behind her. "Is it working?"

She stared out at the snow sculptures and spotted the Hokage Monument among them. Smiling, she murmured, "You've done so much for me I feel like I at least have to give you a kiss."

"I like where this is heading." He leaned closer and said, "Feel free to kiss me whenever you like, as long as you like, and wherever you like."

"Hmm." Eyeing another fried potato, she asked, "So you enjoy our make-out escapades?"

He gazed down at her, despising the fact she had more interest in food then in him. "Why do you want to know?"

She had practiced her comebacks and instantly replied, "A girlfriend should know if her boyfriend enjoys her kisses." Chiisai ate another bite, not once looking at Kakashi.

His eye crinkled in a smile at her prepared response. The side of his body touched hers now as he leaned closer. "I suppose so, but I think I might need one to refresh my memory."

The heat from his body drew her to him. Kakashi pushed the cup of food down, getting her complete attention. Chiisai tilted her head up as his eye found hers. His hand cupped the back of her neck. Before their lips met, a voice called up, "Excuse me, Miss! I have a package for you!"

Kakashi groaned with frustration at another interruption. Two men trotted up and handed her a box with a note. Eyeing Kakashi, Chiisai asked, "Did you do this?"

"No." He peeked down at the box before addressing the delivery boys. "Who sent this?"

One nudged the other, who muttered, "That would be breaking the customer confidentiality agreement." Growing anxious under Kakashi's observant eye, the two scampered off and hid in the shadows.

Kakashi and Chiisai glanced at each other, frowned, and then read the note.

Dear Lovely Lady,

Your eyes shine like a moonlit sky, captivating me with each glance you cast upon my shadow. I am enamored by such beauty you possess and I long to free you from the tethers of the ninja by your side. Your radiance is not deserved by a man like him, of someone who destroys love. That loathsome hedgehog-haired bully will only steal your heart and shatter it. Please, allow me to show you the embrace of true love, of a love you will never forget! Let this gift be a symbol of our future together, my darling. I shall see you later tonight.

With my eternal love,

Your Secret Admirer

XOXO

She laughed, "'Hedgehog-haired bully' is pretty spot on."

He read over the note again and snatched up the box. "Let me open this for you; it could be a trap."

Chiisai leaned over his shoulder, her hair brushing the side of his face. The red box opened under Kakashi's careful fingers. Pale yellow spindles rose up in a ring and ended in pollen notches. With a grimace, she muttered, "It's a cactus flower."

"What does it mean?"

"Apparently my future with my secret admirer will bring lust and sex."

The box nearly tumbled out of his lap and his motor skills temporarily malfunctioned at her words. He glanced at her, his eye narrowing with suspicion. "Hmm. You don't seem too disgusted."

Leaning back on the bench, she replied, "I'm just wondering what you'll do to this guy if you meet him."

Kakashi pulled the flower out of its container and flung it as far as he could. It still didn't satisfy his unease. "I'm not sure myself." Once the plant was out of sight, he turned back to Chiisai. "Why do you keep looking at the letter?"

"What? It's corny but written well." Reading over the words scrawled on the parchment, she muttered, "I kind of like it." The paper was torn from her grasp. "Hey!"

He crumpled the love letter into a ball and merely explained, "You shouldn't be reading such propaganda against me."

With a snort, she chomped down on another fried potato. After a few minutes of staring down at the colossal snow art, Kakashi asked with a monotone voice, "So, you like corny love letters."

She couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Are you sulking?"

"Pfft, that's ridiculous," he scoffed. "Ninjas don't sulk."

"Mhmm." Chiisai settled further into the bench and leaned her head against his shoulder. Kakashi still sat in a pout. Rolling her eyes, she whispered, "I like cheesy, not corny. And you're pretty cheesy, Farm Boy."

"And ninja's aren't cheesy." He wrapped his arm around her waist and finished, "But I'll take it."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Finally, my plan it coming to an end! Hatake Kakashi, tonight you- wait, has that old lady been following us this whole time?"

The two nodded. "Yes, boss."

Aniki waved it off. As long as she didn't get in the way, they were fine. "Eh, no matter. We have the scenery, we have the dashing hero, and now all we need is the damsel in distress!"

On hearing him, the elderly woman yelled, "I'll be your damsel in distress!"

Her cane flew up in the air as she scurried towards them. Were hearts in her eyes? The three let out a cry and ran. Aniki screamed, "Stay away, ya old hag!" Addressing his men, he whispered, "Now, go get the girl!"

"We're on it!" The two ran off with a sack, leaving their superior fighting off the affections of the old woman.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"You should win something for me if this is supposed to be a proper date and all."

Kakashi nodded. This was their first official date, and he wanted it all to go smoothly. "I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right."

"Eh," he shook his head, "you've been with me too long. You're starting to sound like me."

Shaking her head, she smirked, "I don't think I'll ever be able to replicate such a voice devoid of all emotion." She surveyed the kiosks around them, her eyes lighting up at a nearby game.

He sighed, "Now you're even teasing me." He was starting to be a bad influence on her.

Elbowing him, she asked, "Did I ever mention how great you look in black and grey?"

Following her line of sight, he replied, "You really want me to win that, don't you?"

"Yep." Grinning wider, she added, "So I can see you carry it everywhere."

They changed direction, heading toward the game overflowing with tacky giant stuffed animals. Sighing once more, he muttered, "Well, if my humiliation makes you happy, then so be it."

"Good." Chiisai patted him on the shoulder as she watched Kakashi expertly toss a ring on a bottle. Obviously he would win anything he played thanks to his shinobi experience. Knowing her prize was in the bag, she whispered to him, "I'll be right back."

Kakashi grabbed her hand as he held his new found prize. Eye pleading, he said, "You're going to leave me holding this giant thing by myself?" The look in her eyes was enough response. Sweat beaded his forehead as villagers giggled at him, at seeing such a tall, alluring man holding a large fluffy panda plushie. Eye squinted, Kakashi accused, "Your merciless."

She rolled her eyes and snorted, "You know you love me."

Both were startled at what she said. A blush spread to her cheeks and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. This was the first time she had used that word around him. It was a word rarely used in her vocabulary, and she cursed herself for saying it. Did he love her? Did she love...

Kakashi's eye softened as he murmured, "Chiisai, I-"

She suddenly sprinted away and yelled, "I'm going to the bathroom!"

Chiisai breathed with relief as she made into a stall. She had to think, but she couldn't hide here forever. Why had she said such a thing? God, what was wrong with her nowadays? She'd have to go back to him eventually and face the awkward tension she had created. Dammit, and tonight was going so well.

A sniffle broke her from her thoughts. Tiptoeing out of the stall, Chiisai knocked on the other one and asked, "Hello? Are you alright?"

The door burst open, and before she knew it a bag was thrown over her head.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

There could be several reasons why she in the bathroom for so long:

1\. She had eaten too many fried potatoes and really had to go to the bathroom.

2\. She wanted to humiliate him with this stupid plushie in his arm.

3\. She felt humiliated by what she had said.

4\. Seizure.

Two and three were most likely the culprits, but he couldn't wait here forever, and she couldn't stay in there forever either. Hopefully she knew how he felt. It was pretty evident on his part, he thought. And he knew how she felt, though he'd never get a confession out of her.

A throng of young girls giggled as they passed him. Kakashi couldn't take it anymore. He finally asked a female to see if a woman named Chiisai was still in the bathroom.

She wasn't.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Silence crept through the night air. It was dark, and the lanterns faintly caused a glow among the packed snow. The naked trees cast shadows among the flickering lights as a full moon hung just above. And not too far ahead, two men carried a wriggling sack. Everything was set in place.

All that was left was him.

Aniki gallantly dashed towards them, crying, "You fiends! Unhand that-"

"My love!"

He was tackled by the old woman and they both plummeted down the snow-covered hill.

The moment was ruined, and Aniki's scream of anguish rippled throughout the chilly air. All the while, the old hag hung on to him, decorating his face with blotchy red kisses.

No, he couldn't give up! This night could be salvaged somehow. He had to have faith. But first, he had to get this old woman off of him.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"There you are."

"Where the hell were you? I got kidnapped and had to fight my way out of this bag!"

Kakashi glanced at the two bruised and broken men and then back at the disheveled Chiisai. "You seemed to have managed without me."

She flung several strands of hair back, but the bundle of hair had turned into a dark brown knot during the struggle. "I thought you were supposed to be a ninja expert! Can't you tell when your own girlfriend has been kidnapped?"

"I was distracted." Kakashi offered her the plushie as a form of apology. Chiisai stormed off in the other direction, but was stopped as someone crawled their way to the top.

"Don't worry, I'll save you milady," he gasped and panted.

Assuming he was someone who had seen what had happened, she said angrily, "I saved myself, whoever you are."

He bolted up and grabbed her by the shoulders as a wave of energy sparked at her words. "Why, I'm your secret admirer! I've come to take you away with me, darling!"

His voice was menacing as he said, "So you're the one who sent the gift."

"Daah!" Aniki hid behind Chiisai when he saw Kakashi. The man held on to the woman and her kimono, wrinkling her clothing even more. Her anger reaching her boiling point, she turned and punched him in the gut, throwing him back.

"I've already got one too many stupid men to deal with already," she glared down at Aniki as she jutted a thumb at Kakashi.

"Hey, you can't hit the boss like that!" Though the two men were battered, they rushed towards her at the sight of their leader in such distress. Of course, it was clear that he had let her punch him. Their boss was a gentlemen after all.

Sighing at the nuisance, Kakashi already had the two beaten up. In a blink of an eye, he had the three men strung up together with some spare rope he just happened to find on the way there. Addressing Aniki, Kakashi said, "So you're the one who sent the flower. A boyfriend is never too pleased when another man tries to take away his girl."

Chiisai held up a hand to stop him and spat, "First off, I am not your girl right now."

"But-"

"Don't you 'but' me, Hatake Kakashi. I'll deal with you later. Now," she glared at the gang leader, "explain."

The fire in her eyes seared fear in the hearts of all the men present. Aniki, voice shaking, replied, "Hatake stole my girl four years ago and I was only trying to return the favor. But I should have guess his girlfriend would be as strong as him."

Kakashi frowned, "So you thought that offering sex would get her attention?" Whoever this guy was, he had no sense of romance. And what did he mean he stole his girl four years ago? Kakashi couldn't remember any such incident.

"Psh, what are you talking about?!" Aniki yelled, "I'll admit I don't play fair but I wouldn't do something as dirty as that!"

Chiisai sighed, "The cactus flower."

Aniki further raged on, "Do you know how expensive those flowers are this time of year? I paid a fortune for that!" Grinning at another attempt, he enticed, "I'm filthy rich, sweetheart! Now, come away with me and leave this-"

Kakashi slapped him.

"Don't you touch my man!"

Kakashi and Chiisai blinked at the graggly voice. They were too surprised that they didn't react in time to the old woman running towards them, bits of snow flying at her furious wake. The elderly lady tackled the jonin, flying punches at the man who had tied up her love. A grunt left his masked lips as her small weight barreled into him, her small fists making contact with his face as he suffered her wrath.

"That's it, darling! Avenge me!" Aniki cried.

The old woman turned back to her lover, warmed by his encouragement. Kakashi forgotten, she flew towards the tied man. "Oh, my love! You've finally returned my affections!" She kissed him (much to Aniki's disgust) and whispered, "I'll save you from this unruly couple, don't worry." Her old eyes glinting with determination, she now faced Chiisai.

The librarian held her hands up. "Don't worry, you can have him."

Of course, what Chiisai meant was Aniki, but the old lady thought differently as she threw Kakashi to the ground and attacked him again.

While the chaos ensued, Chiisai slid over to the three men. "So, did you right that letter?"

Aniki squinted up at her. "Why do you ask?"

Kicking at the bits of snow, she replied, "You know, you should really give up this whole revenge business and go into writing. You have a knack for it."

"Well," he thought out loud, "I did have a little help." But the wheels were already turning in his head. He already had a few idea for several novels.

"You should think about it," Chiisai offered. Noticing that Kakashi was taking a serious beating, she went over to him. "You might want to go and untie your man." The old lady, remembering why she was doing this in the first place, rushed back to her lover, showering him with kisses and odes of love while he was retained.

Chiisai sat down beside Kakashi as he readjusted his mask. His backed ached from the frigid snow and his front throbbed from the lady's bony knuckles. This night had not gone according to plan.

She brushed some snow from his lap. Kakashi muttered, "You still mad at me?"

"How can I when you look like this?" She smiled as she ruffled his hair, causing snow to rain down on him.

"You don't look so great either," he replied while attempting to fix her hair.

They both caught each other's eyes, an understanding silently met between them. They stood. Kakashi picked up the plushie, and the two walked away, fingers intertwined, while behind them an old lady continued to kiss one of the tied up men, who cried out for help.

On the way back to the hotel, a photographer took a picture of the two, desperate for money. He demanded they pay for his already completed work. Both annoyed, tired, and frustrated, they paid, took the photo, and left for the safety and security of their room. When they finally bothered looking at the photo, they both broke out in laughter at how lousy they looked. Their hair was disarrayed, their kimonos wrinkly and worn out (plus that horrid plushie in his arms). It was a photo Kakashi would come to cherish later on, for it would be the only photo the two would ever take together.

On the other side of the village, tonight would mark the first night of a successful career of an author, his two editors, and an overly doting (and slightly love stricken) elderly publisher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I don't think I ever posted this: I do not own any of Kishimoto's characters, or the characters known as the Moya Triad (from the episode "Gotta See! Gotta Know! Kakashi's Face!") I only own my story and OC's.
> 
> Referenced the Sapparo Snow Festival for this.


	20. Confession and Secrets

Her fingers traced patterns on his back, following the line of his shoulder blade hidden beneath his shirt. It was dark, and the usual rhythm of Kakashi's breathing wasn't enough to cajole her to sleep. Kakashi seemed to be in the same predicament, because every now and then he would run his fingers through her hair, taking great care whenever he encountered knots. The two lain like this for an hour without a word said between them.

Chiisai loved this part of a relationship, of just having someone else's presence beside her in the cover of night. It was a comfort and a stress reliever not to be alone, and having Kakashi by her side gave her hope. Hope for what she didn't know, but it filled her with a happiness she hadn't had in a long time.

When sleep finally caught up with her, she fought it by whispering, "Tell me something about you."

His voice was low and clear as he whispered back, "What do you want to know?"

"Anything." She thought over her answer while tracing his spine. Her eyes remained closed as she said, "Everything."

He patted her twice on the head and simply replied, "You know everything there is to know about me."

"Nu-uh," she shook her head. Chiisai pulled away from him in search of his face. Through the darkness, she could make out the outline of his hair that defied all laws of physics. Eyes finally settling on what should be his face, she said, "How did you get started reading Icha Icha? When was the first time you had a hangover? What other countries have you been to?"

His hand slid down her back before resting loosely on her waist. "Why so curious all of a sudden?"

"I don't want to fall asleep just yet," she yawned.

Curiosity laced his usually emotionless voice. "Well, if you don't want to fall asleep there are other things we can do." His hand slid up her sweatshirt, his calloused fingers brushing her ragged scars as he said, "You still owe me at least a kiss."

Her body tensed. She removed his hand and rolled over with a snort. "You lost that when you didn't realize I had been kidnapped."

The sheets rustled while Kakashi moved closer. He whispered in her ear, "Maybe I did realize."

Her head turned to his voice. "Don’t tell me you were observing the whole time?”

Casually, he suggested, "You handled yourself well."

Her tone flattened. "So, you're saying you knew what was happening but you waited to see what I would do." That would make more sense, seeing how Kakashi had done that to Team Seven on their first day with them (Sakura dreamed that a few times, especially focusing on discovering Sasuke head but not his body). Kakashi would be the one to hide in the shadows, lying wait until he sought fit to intercede. It was the ninja within him to do those types of things. And Chiisai wasn't too happy about it.

"Yep." He propped his head on his hand as his elbow dug into the pillow. 

Moving away from him, she harshly replied, "You're an asshole."

Of course, Kakashi should have foreseen her anger at the situation. His hesitation to save her did not sit well in Chiisai's mind, and he attempted to salvage what faith she still had in him. "No," he explained, "I trusted that you were capable of taking hold of the situation and that's precisely what you did." He blinked down at her small form to see no sign of reply. "Chiisai." When she didn't respond, he let out his trademark sigh and muttered, "I know you're not asleep." He went to touch her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

“Traitor.” Chiisai yanked the rest of the blanket over her, not hiding any of her frustration. "You're supposed to be my bodyguard." What type of person hesitates to save someone he cared about? Even Itachi would have come for her if he was in Kakashi's shoes; that she knew. Only the man beside her wasn't the Uchiha, and she would have to deal with this side of Kakashi. It only made it harder to trust the ninja label Kakashi wore like a badge of honor.

He shook his head and reassured her, "I wasn't going to let anything happen to you. I know you know that."

"I don't know what I know. So you can't know what I know."

Kakashi bent over her and said, "I know you can't stay mad at me long."

She pulled the covers over her face so she would have an extra layer of protection against him. "Challenge accepted," she defied.

Tugging on the sheets, Kakashi leaned down and kissed her forehead. When she went to push his face away, he caught her hand and pressed his lips to her wrist. "Chiiiisaiii."

She yanked her arm from his grasp, hating the way her heart pounded. The situation was transforming into a game, and Chiisai was unsure why it both pleased her and filled her with dread. "That's cheating."

Kakashi brushed her hair back. His mouth trailed butterfly kisses down the side of her face, taking pleasure in the smoothness of her skin. He smiled into her neck, "You can't resist me."

Whatever Chiisai prepared to say was lost under his lips. The touch was gentle, barely a brush of skin, and the tease had her adrenaline racing. Desperate to hold on to her self-control, she remained still as he repeated the desirable torment. Her body began to shake with want, and only then did she realize why her body was reacting so much to Kakashi…Or rather, not Kakashi.

"Shit."

He broke away from the kiss. That word was designated for only one thing, and Tomo wasn't here to stop it. He squeezed her hand hard in hopes of relieving it. The pressure gave her enough awareness to say, "Just let me try-"

But the dream must have been powerful, because Chiisai's mind was sucked into it instantly. The seizure took full control of her body as the tremors begun. Cursing under his breath, Kakashi turned her on her side, making sure to not apply too much force. Her garbled sounds filled the otherwise heavy silence. His ears took it as a declaration of what little use he was, and though he could tear her out of the spell with pain, the option wasn't one he wished to try in the middle of her seizure. What plagued his thoughts more revolved around what would happen when she woke up- if she woke up at all.

It was over in thirty-one seconds, one of the shortest he had seen. Her body stilled but her chest rose and fell as she struggled to take in oxygen. One minute passed, and then another, and even after she caught her breath she didn't speak.

He shook her shoulder and whispered her name as calmly as he could. Another minute.

"It's so dark I thought I hopped into another dream," she managed to croak out. "You real?"

He sank down into the bed beside her and uttered a sigh of relief. "That scares me every time."

Wiping the spit off with her sleeve, she said, "It was hard to pull out of." Chiisai found his arm and then his hand, where she interlaced her fingers with his. They stared up into the blackness as their adrenaline died. Finally, Kakashi recommended, "You need to sleep before another one comes."

She didn't acknowledge his words. During the moment of quiet her mind had centered on something about the dreamer she just encountered. "Is Lady Tsunade searching for Orochimaru?"

His head faced her, his eye narrowing as such a specific and out of the blue question. "Why?"

Still staring at the ceiling, she slowly replied, "That nightmare I got sucked into. It was about a curse mark that makes you turn into this creature. Someone in the building was an experiment of Orochimaru, but he escaped." His hand tensed against hers, and before he could say anything she finished, "I'm going to get inside his mind once I fall asleep."

The opportunity couldn't be passed by and both knew it. Kakashi's thoughts shifted to Sasuke. Knowing how unstable Orochimaru's curses could be, he asked, "Have you ever been in someone's mind that has the curse mark?"

"Anko has one," she nodded. "Getting into this guy's head won't be a problem. He seemed kind."

"Just keep track of how much chakra you use."

Chiisai curled into him, her worry lighting up like a candle at his tone. "I'll let you know anything if you're in the dream world."

He took a deep breath and muttered, "I don't think I'll be able to dream tonight." The seizure lingered in his vision, her noises continuing to reverberate off the walls of his skull. The emotions pierced his heart and spilled out into every cell of his body. 

Her fingers were back on his shoulder blade. As she traced over his muscles, she noticed the tension in them. Here she was again making his life harder, making his life more stressful than it needed to be. Chiisai closed her eyes and murmured, "I'm sorry."

His body relaxed as if just now noticing its stiffness. And though Chiisai couldn't see it, she heard his smile when he said, "It's not your fault, Small Tiger." Running his hand through her hair, Kakashi whispered, "Go to sleep."

"Here." She stretched, tilted her head up, and pressed her lips to the base of his neck. It was a symbol of her defeat, of letting Kakashi know she wasn't angry. He was right- she couldn't stay mad at him for long. Settling back in his warmth, she said, "I did owe you at least a kiss."

In return, he kissed the top of her head. He kept quiet while battling the feelings inside. He feared opening his mouth might release words she didn't need to hear yet.

Attempting to make the mood lighthearted, she teased, "Don't stare at me and wake me up, okay?"

That one emotion rose up within him again, overwhelming his senses. He managed to whisper raggedly, "Just sleep."

Unsettled by his tone, Chiisai closed her eyes. Something bothered him, but he had no intention of telling her what it was. She didn't blame him because it was most likely her doing. Tonight she wouldn't let him down. Her powers would be put to good use to help the village while showing how valuable she could be.

A little after five minutes later, her breathing pattern slowed. Yearning for some form of release, Kakashi finally murmured what had been afflicting him for months and what he had struggled to deny for some time. Only once had he admitted it out loud, and the person he had told would never tell…Because the only thing left of him was a name etched on the Memorial Stone.

Kakashi stared into the darkness, his fingers combing through her brown hair as he vocalized to Chiisai what was gradually and successfully consuming him.

"I love you."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai stumbled out of his mind and into the dream world. It took two hours before the man finally dreamed, and now that she had taken what she needed from him her body demanded rest. But the new information from Orochimaru's experiment drowned out her thoughts of reason.

There was so much pain. So many needles sinking beneath skin. A chorus of screams echoing from an underground room. Bones shifting, muscles expanding. The burns of the curse mark spreading across his body. Orochimaru nodding in approval. A young man with round glasses writing on a clipboard. The loss of sanity as the mark took over.

She caught herself as she collapsed. The palms of her hands sunk into the surface of the dream world as she swallowed down his memories like a bad tasting pill. Calm and clarity- that's what she needed.

Calm and clarity.

Tingles struck the pads of her fingers, traveling to her palm before shooting up her arms. Her eyes widened while the coolness washed over her. As it passed, the struggle to remain composed dwindled away. Instantly she was at peace.

What the hell was that? Chiisai sat up and gazed down at the palm of her hands. They prickled with wisps of blue, but soon that was gone too. It was like nothing occurred at all.

She couldn't remember this happening before.

Confused, Chiisai stood and brought up the dream tree. The dreams shifted from one to another, the portals appearing and disappearing as people slipped into different parts of their sleep cycle. Their dreams all reflected the same feelings. They were same ones that had just been erased from Chiisai.

She knew she could erase nightmares and switch people's emotions for hers if she was in their dream. But could that happen outside of their dreams, and on such a grand scale?

Her eyes scanned over the bubbles, but her gut told her Kakashi's mind wasn't among them. However, her instincts did reach out to one dream though, just on the edge of her reach. Her chakra called out to it, her mind pierced with her memory's screams. Immediately she cast aside all other dreams. Her mission forgotten, Chiisai stepped into the dream in search of someone who might know what was happening.

Heat surrounded her, and as she stepped through the portal a fireball rushed her way. She flicked it away with a hand gesture and erased the workings of his current dream. With nothing left to guide the dream, grey encompassed the setting. Itachi stood in front of her, his red eyes taking in her chakra. His guard was up and his voice hard as he said, "This is a surprise."

Her eyes narrowed while taking in his aggressive stance. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. "I need to talk to you."

His fervent glare searched hers a few moments until finally he relaxed. "Ah," he sighed, "I suppose you do." He sat down on the floor, causing the scene to change into a welcoming room. Sunlight spilled through the window and on to the floorboards. Chiisai followed suit and sat down across from him, relieved to see he had no intentions of attacking her. A tea set appeared. He took his own steaming cup and handed her a mug of milk.

She smiled at the gesture, glad that Itachi still possessed the quiet and courteous demeanor she remembered so well. After taking a sip, she said, "I would ask how you're doing, but given the circumstances I don't think that seems fitting."

The corner of his lips tilted up. His voice leveled, and its smoothness reminded Chiisai all those years ago, back when they had formed their friendship in unlikely circumstances. "I agree. It looks as if you have your abilities under control." On seeing her downcast eyes, he continued, "But maybe you should first tell me everything before I make that assumption."

She raised an eyebrow at his observation and joked, "You never beat around the bush, do you? It's good to know you haven't changed that much."

He set the brown ceramic cup down. Their years of separation had brought on a number of events, and most were not remembered with fondness. Eyes closed, he said, "A lot has happened, but deep down I am still Konoha's Uchiha Itachi, and I will always look to protect it." Looking at Chiisai, he continued, "Now, tell me what's happened since you defeated your father."

Itachi never once looked unsure, and she took comfort to have him here beside her. The ache in her chest disappeared as she returned his gaze. He was the first person to accept her as she was, to look past the monster she believed herself to be so long ago. Within a few weeks of their friendship as teenagers, he had pierced the shell of her heart and repaired the damage done to it. Itachi was younger than she, but his mind seemed years older, his wisdom and knowledge exceeding the expectations of his age. Now, years later, here they were again sitting in a dream, enjoying each other's company as if nothing had changed at all.

"Well," she began, "I'm glad you're a patient man, because it's a long story."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

At the crack of dawn Chiisai bolted upright in bed, startling Kakashi. Silently, she threw off the covers and headed straight for the bathroom, where she slammed the door. Kakashi stood outside but didn't inquire. He didn't want to test the typhoon of anger she easily emitted.

After a few minutes, she stepped out. Kakashi watched her, but she didn't acknowledge him. She turned away from him and changed. With such actions, Kakashi deduced that her frustration was so much that she didn't care about anything. Kakashi was now treading dangerous waters and he had no idea why she was so enraged.

"I have the location of one of Orochimaru’s hideouts," she forced out. "We need to leave for Konoha now."

Her words were robotic and it grinded Kakashi's ears to hear such a tone. Chiisai's voice was anything but emotionless, and this persona of hers meant something bad had happened. He closed the book that Chiisai picked out last night and replied, "We need to eat first. It's a day's journey." And the Stone ninja were still at the Leaf.

She brushed her hair while avoiding his calculating eye. "I'm not hungry."

Bracing his hands on his knees, Kakashi stood up. Did she hear what he said last night? Or was it the information she learned from Orochimaru's experiment perhaps? "I've already ordered breakfast."

Grabbing the panda plush, Chiisai walked around him and to the door. "Then you can eat it all."

"What are you doing?"

She paused at the doorway long enough to say, "I figured you wouldn't want to carry this all the way to Konoha, so I thought I'd give it a more appreciative home. There's a girl two floors down who didn't have pleasant dreams." The girl was one of many, if not infinite number of people who had bad dreams last night. All because of Chiisai. It was one of the few things Itachi had revealed. One of the very minuscule few he shared. Leave it to Itachi to pull the protection card out and flaunt it like a VIP pass. Everything he did he justified as protecting the ones he loved. And that sheer calmness he had during their discussion angered every ounce of her. But mentioning the second seal in her mind- the one that blocked her memories? Well, it had surprised him enough to kick her out of his dream. Apparently he hadn't expected such a question, in fact, he hadn't expected her to know about the seal at all.

And the look in his eyes when she mentioned the seal...He was worried. But as usual, he had decided to take on the matter by himself. It was just like a Uchiha. Damn dark-haired diva.

She left the stuffed animal by the door and headed back to the room. Setting aside all thoughts of Itachi, Chiisai reentered. Breakfast had been brought in while she was out. Kakashi sat at the small table, his plate untouched.

He waited for her.

Chiisai made her way to him. Steamed rice, miso soup (with eggplant), salted salmon, and tamagoyaki met her eyes as she sat down. The smell of food had her mouth watering and she regretted her words earlier to him. While Kakashi's eye rested on her, she bowed her head and whispered, "Itadakimasu."

Satisfied, Kakashi repeated the word and the two ate their meal in silence.

It would be a long way back to Konoha.


	21. Heartache

The news Chiisai brought on their arrival caused immediate action. It was the only constructive lead they had. Shizune marked down each word spoken from Chiisai, taking careful notes on the location of the hideout the man had been at three months ago. She also recorded everything concerning Kabuto and his special concoctions he sold on the black market to fund their extensive experiments. The list of poisons and drugs Chiisai retrieved from the dreamer could be tracked if they ever came across any.

Lady Tsunade dispatched a team, and who else would lead but Hatake Kakashi. It was a four day mission, and Chiisai had the responsibility of giving him the physical layout of the hideout while in the dream world. With her seeping information into Kakashi's mind, the plan was sure to run smoothly.

And even better, the Iwagakure ambassador left Konoha the day after Chiisai and Kakashi's arrival. The Stone ninja seemed satisfied with the Hokage's terms, putting her at unease. Their sudden change of mood could only mean trouble in the coming weeks, and Tomo's reports from her espionage only supported it.

So the next morning, Kakashi restocked his backpack for yet another journey. Chiisai sat silent on the couch, listening to the zips of pockets and the clangs of weapons from the bedroom.

She hadn't told him about Itachi. The identity he portrayed nowadays was nothing of his former self, and confessing to Kakashi that they had sat together like old times wouldn't make sense. And why should she tell Kakashi anyway? Itachi didn't even answer any of her questions, not even the ones about whether or not her powers should be resealed. The only bit of knowledge he bestowed on her concerned consequences derived from her feelings.

If her emotions got out of hand they could bleed into everyone's dreams, subconsciously driving them to act on how she felt. It was possible for her to have minions without even knowing it. And if she wanted minions, well, that could easily be arranged too. Hell, with her abilities, Chiisai could pretty much do whatever she wanted as long as she had her chakra under control.

Just another reason why she was sealed- it was too dangerous, Itachi had said. And considering what happened with her mother…

In some ways, she should thank her parents. Their years of psychological and physical abuse made her appreciate the simplest of kind acts and despise most forms of malice, putting her in the farthest reaches of a villainess persona. It also left her with confidence the size of a grain of rice, which may have more disadvantages than she first thought. Chiisai barely believed in herself, even knowing the good that had come from her abilities, and realizing she defeated her father only left her haunted by his final words.

He had known that she was sealed twice. And he had laughed in her face before taking the information to his grave. She could practically hear him mocking her: ‘Oh, naïve Small Crow. When will you ever learn? You can never trust a ninja, not even the Uchiha pacifist. Wasn't he the one you cherished most as a friend? He's deceived you and sealed away your precious memories. I wonder how long your boyfriend will last before he betrays you as well.’

"Your recent depression makes me question whether I should leave so soon."

His voice startled her from the internal battle. Kakashi stood by the bookshelf with bag in hand and worry in his eye. Chiisai turned her face away from him and replied, "I'm not depressed." Her feet sunk into the cushion as she brought her knees up to her chest. "There's just a lot on my mind."

The backpack slumped to the floor. Kakashi retrieved a book from the shelf and trudged towards her. "This is about the other morning- when you woke up."

"Getting into people's heads has that effect on you. You wouldn't understand." It wasn't necessarily the truth, but it wasn't a lie either.

The jonin moved closer, but she flinched away from him. No, she wasn't afraid of him. It was something else, something he couldn't quite place. When Chiisai pulled back as their thighs brushed, he said, "You've been avoiding physical contact since we got back to Konoha. There's obviously something wrong." He didn't admit how hard it was to sleep on the couch without her last night. Apparently giving her space hadn't helped like he thought it would.

Swallowing, she rebuffed, "I'll get over it."

He shook his head, his fingers turning white against the book in hand. Her broodings had turned her into a female Sasuke. "I can't help unless I know what it is, Chiisai." His intense eye barreled through her sternum and straight to her heart. "I am waiting," she muttered.

"Waiting." It was a statement and a question. With head down, her hair covered her eyes as she admitted solemnly, "I'm waiting for everything to fall apart. I'm sure you've thought the same thing."

Kakashi paused to consider her words. Sighing, the ninja placed the book on the table and leaned back into the couch. "Eh, I can't deny it. The way both of our lives have been it's hard to believe anything good is in store for us." He glanced down at the hair hiding her like a veil. His finger twisted around a strand as Kakashi continued, "For all we know, this could very well end in disaster."

If relationships did end in disaster, maybe love was really a myth. Chiisai stared down at the coffee table where Dreaming of Love rested. The book never ventured far from her line of sight it seemed. It had been with her since the night she was attacked in the alley, which felt like a lifetime ago. Kakashi had gotten her a new one each time the previous novel met some form of demise. But here it still sat like Kakashi and Chiisai, refusing to disappear. It was a book that wouldn't let go of her.

Eyes remaining on the novel, Chiisai said, "I thought it would end terribly in the beginning. When Lady Tsunade assigned this mission, I hated the thought of you. I hated how someone like you knew my secret. Whenever I saw you, your nightmares hit me and it was difficult to block out." Shaking her head, she continued, "Every time I looked at you all I saw was pain. And the fact that you were so accommodating to me made it worse." Her voice dropped to a whisper, afraid to hear the words she spoke. "But after that seizure…Before long I wanted you around. You helped me. You helped me a lot."

"You still think it will end that way?"

She nodded, "I'm thinking a 90% chance of disaster. But the 10% is a pretty solid 10%."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her estimation. Little hope was better than none. "I've dealt with worse odds," he replied.

Chiisai tilted her head to him, finally making eye contact. "What are you saying?"

Taking her hand, he explained, "The people you come to treasure in this life are the ones you want with you the most. Even if it does end in disaster."

She tensed at the contact. The touch somehow soothed her mind and erased her discomfort. Rolling her eyes, she said, "You're being sappy again."

Kakashi gently squeezed her hand before she could remove it from his. "Don't you think it's the truth?"

She opened her mouth, closed it, and sighed. After a brief moment, the corner of her lips turned up as she found a compromise. "It's a sappy truth."

"It’s nice to see you smile." He leaned closer and asked, "Should I say things like that more often?"

"Pfft." She half-teased, "You wouldn't want to ruin your reputation as an aloof shinobi."

"Yes, we can't have that." He patted her hand and added, "Very thoughtful of you."

The depressed mood lessened into a tolerant awkwardness. Chiisai shifted in the seat as the rays of daylight spilled through the window. Finally breaking the silence, she said, "I think I've held you long enough to satisfy your habitual lateness."

"Trying to get rid of me, are you?" Shaking his head, the ninja stood up and said, "I hope you don't mind if I steal one of your books. It's a long way to the hideout."

"Not that one!" She yanked Dreaming of Love out of his hands. Realizing her sudden action, she calmed enough to explain, "I haven't finished it yet."

He glanced down at the romance novel, suspicious of her words. "That's surprising. It's always with you though."

Like he could say anything with him and Icha Icha. Hugging the book to her chest, she replied sternly, "I want to savor the read." She gripped the book like it was a key to her heart. Kakashi glanced over the title again. Pointing at the novel, he said, "Oi, this was the one I suggested."

Eyes widening, Chiisai dropped the book and braced her palms into his back, shoving him to the exit. "You’re running late!"

Raising a brow at her change of mood, he went on. "And then I bought it for you again after-"

"Why are you so annoying?" Putting her full force into it, Chiisai managed to push him out the door as she yelled, "Get out!" Her forehead pressed into the wood while catching her breath. She didn't understand why she had so much adrenaline pumping through her.

There was a knock and Kakashi's voice filled her ears. "I forgot something."

Squeezing her eyes shut, Chiisai replied, "I'll kiss you after the mission's over!"

She could have sworn she heard a smirk on the other side of the door. "Kind gesture," Kakashi said lazily, "but I was talking about my backpack."

"Oh." Raking a hand through her hair, Chiisai opened the door. He strolled in, eyeing her flushed cheeks. Snatching his backpack up, Kakashi turned back to her and said, "Well, if you're going to wait to kiss me then I expect you to be at the main gate when I return." His eye peered down at her expectantly. Rolling her eyes once more, she scoffed, "Gods, you're bossy."

The woman walked him back to the door as he went on to say, "And don't forget to wash the dishes. I don't want the house to smell like when I got back last time. Your cleaning skills still need improvement."

His sudden snarkiness was almost too much to bear. Hand tightening on the handle, she glared, "I hate you."

Grinning with his eye, Kakashi ruffled Chiisai's hair (sending the strands up with static) and said, "You know you love me." He blinked down at her sudden reaction, assessing the extent of her frozen posture. He hadn't forgotten the night at the festival, and he knew the message had gotten across to her. Slowly, Kakashi bent down and rearranged her unruly bangs. She didn't stop him, and it was likely she didn't have the mindset to notice what he was doing. Brushing his masked lips to her forehead, he whispered, "Bye, Chiisai."

He took a step back while gazing into her shocked eyes. She stared at him, not seeing any emotion within that damned eye of his. He lifted his hand and the movement triggered something within her. Reaching out for him, she said, "Wait, Kaka-"

The smoke cleared, and Kakashi was gone.

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Genma shook his head as the team leader approached. "I shouldn't be surprised. What's your excuse this time?"

Kakashi shrugged and replied, "I saw a sad girl so I held her hand for awhile. Everyone here?"

"Of course everyone's here. We were waiting for you," a quiet voice responded. It was Aburame Muta. Hyuga Tokuma stood beside him, arms crossed with a scold on his face. The two were the prime candidates for infiltration and both had a serious demeanor. They didn't take kindly to jokes or sarcasm, which Genma was well in supply of.

Sighing, Kakashi ordered, "Let's move out."

White powder rose from the ground as the team took off. By the time the snow settled they were already out of sight.

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Tomo sauntered in through the cracked door to find Chiisai sulking on the couch. Her ears flexed but the familiar sounds didn't meet her. The cat asked, "Is he gone already? You all just got back."

"He left this morning." Noticing the disappointment in her voice, Chiisai readjusted and said, "How did you like Shizune's?"

"She's much more hospitable then your pale-haired boyfriend." Hopping up on the back of the couch, Tomo licked her paw before finishing, "And Tonton was nice to be around. Her master's travels make me question Lady Hokage's leadership skills."

The book in her hand faltered as Chiisai frowned, "You speak pig?"

The ninneko rolled her eyes. "I know human, so why not? Even Shizune and Lady Tsunade understand her."

"I didn't know that." The woman returned to her novel, wishing to escape further conversation. But Tomo didn't notice. After hopping on to Chiisai's stomach, the cat mentioned, "By the way, Tonton wanted me to warn you that her master is having what she calls a "girl's night out" two days from now, and she's forcing you to come."

She laid Dreaming of Love on her chest and groaned. Shizune wouldn't take no for an answer, and if Lady Tsunade was coming…

"I have heard such outings have to do with females being in heat, and they travel in packs as a means of protection." She paused to watch the woman's reaction. "But you already have a mate."

Chiisai's body tensed under Tomo's. Quickly recovering, she muttered, "He's not my mate. He's- I don't know what he is."

Her tail flicked with curiosity. "From what I have seen, he meets all of the qualifications for a human mate. You two act as other mates do in the village."

"It's not that simple." Her fingers sank into Tomo's dark fur as she sat her on the coffee table. "And can you stop saying mate?"

Shaking her head, Tomo sighed, "Things are never simple with you."

Her slippers tapped against the wood while she headed to the kitchen. Chiisai started, "Well, if I have to go you're coming with me."

Licking her chest, the cat responded with false enthusiasm. "Sounds riveting."

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The older man leaned back into his desk and gazed down at the ninja in front of him. "Chiisai has been invaluable to the Leaf. She's helped in ways we will never fully know."

Itachi bowed his head and replied, "Though I agree, I humbly request that you speak with her personally, Lord Third. What she has told me recently has me troubled."

"If what you say is true, then you have every right to be troubled," he nodded worriedly. "Her abilities must be kept under control."

His dark eyes stared at the ground. "Her emotions greatly affect those in the dream world. It's happening more and more," he reported.

Regarding the boy, Hiruzen removed the pipe from his mouth. The Uchiha had taken on too much for someone as young as he, and the Hokage was already regretting the burden he had placed on Itachi's shoulders. "The village is thriving and happy as ever, despite trouble with the police force." Raising an eyebrow, he finished, "Do you believe this is her subconsciously causing it?"

"I do," he nodded.

"And why is that?"

There was a pause, but the truth had to come out eventually. "…Because Chiisai is in love."

"You almost look sad, Itachi. Considering how callous you are it's rather disturbing."

He didn't meet the blue man's eyes but rather stared up at the overcast sky. "You still talk too much."

"Humph." Their feet crunched against the hard snow, the only sound taking up the dull forest. If anyone else were to say that to him he would've shredded him to bits with Samehada. Kisame eyed the back of his comrade and suggested, "You want to stop at the tea shop a couple of kilometers up?"

"I'm not in the mood for tea." A soft smile formed on his lips as he finished thoughtfully, "But a cup of milk should do."


	22. Worry

Chiisai sat with legs crossed and elbows propped on each leg. Her fingers drummed against her cheekbone, her bangs covering the top portion of her face. Her eyes stared up through the strands of hair, catching sight of the dreams flitting in and out of the realm.

It was simple, she decided. All of this time had been wasted. Maybe hanging out with ninjas caused the change of mindset. Or maybe she didn't want to think in any way like her father. Unfortunately though, her father had seamless control of her chakra whenever he was alive. And she still had no idea how to use it properly.

For weeks now she tried to strengthen her abilities. However, the rules in reality didn't apply to the dream world, so there shouldn't be a need to strengthen it. If her powers were able to take over the minds of all in Konoha, then why the hell was it so hard now to get into only two dozen at once? But now she recognized it- her idiocy at approaching the situation. All this time she had worked on expanding her range and testing the waters of her chakra control (which was next to nothing). But the real problem had nothing to do with that.

Reality possessed every type of conflict imaginable, but the dream world only dealt with one: man vs. self.

Hopes, fears, joys, griefs- all were displayed in dreams. The dream world was the battlefield of the mind. What you believed, you created. And what you didn't believe…

Chiisai bit down on her lower lip, stifling the groan of frustration. Instead, she released a heavy sigh and fell back into the grassy field her mind created. The dream tree towered over her, shielding her from the heavy rays of light. Chirps rang throughout the lush valley as she ripped up wads of grass. The relaxing atmosphere did little to stop her wandering thoughts.

You must believe in yourself.

Maybe Itachi was on to something other than what she originally thought. Her father believed in himself (a bit too much) and look how her chakra responded to him (of course, he had marinated in it for a decade). But Chiisai wasn't driven by confidence when she defeated her father. Her motivation came from protecting the ones she cared about…the ones she loved.

"Chiisai, do you know how much I love you?"

A sizzle of electricity shot through the dream world as pain sliced her mind. The sunny skies darkened, shaking the ground as thunder vibrated the air. The memory dissipated like steam from a kettle, leaving even less than what she originally had. It was a terrible cycle her mind toured, and it gradually ate away at her. The familiar ache scraped her heart while the rain descended in sheets, reminding her of the missing link to her past. The memories Itachi robbed her from.

The asshole. He probably took away the knowledge of controlling her powers too. Even if she found Itachi in the dream world again, she couldn't defeat him and get back the information. That damn Sharingan was too much for her to handle.

Another crack of thunder tore through the dream world.

Kuroi knew exactly who he was and accepted every bit of it. But Chiisai…how could she know who she really was without all of her memories intact? A vital piece of her memories were trapped within the seal Itachi created. What hid beneath the door to her mind was life-altering. Without Itachi, she would never gain full control of her abilities and her power would consume her.

With a swish of her hand the gloomy atmosphere vanished. With a deep inhale, Chiisai switched her train of thought and rose to her feet. Itachi wasn't in her range, so there was no use finding him tonight. No, she needed to see him face to face. Focusing on the mission, a mind appeared in front of her. Chiisai pressed her fingertips to it, sending the information through. It should sort into his long term memory, which would pass through his dreams first. At another thought, she inserted a bit of her chakra into the mind just in case anything were to happen. She didn't have the mindset to face Kakashi just yet. She still wasn't ready for that kind of oblivion. And with the heaviness in her heart-

Maybe she never would be.

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He was running, panting, struggling for breath as he tore through the forest. His legs burned and a cramp etched its way behind his rib cage. Brambles nicked his legs and tore at his clothing, but he didn't stop.

He shouldn't be doing this. It was wrong, it was completely wrong.

But there was no other option. The demands needed to be met. He had to protect his family in any way possible, but the only way was through him. Orochimaru, the snake that he was, tricked him into forfeiting himself in exchange for the longevity of his children.

His hands pressed into his knees as he caught his breath. With chest heaving, the man scanned the area in search of the marker. Where the hell was it? He needed to find the hideout-

"So you came. How noble of you."

He turned at the sound and saw a young man adjusting his glasses. A smirk stood on his face as he gestured for him to follow.

"I…I couldn't find the mark."

"We removed it when we discovered your villagers lurking around."

"You've taken all of the medical herbs," he panted. "We were forced to scavenge in other places."

The grey-haired ninja didn't respond. Silently, the two trudged through the woods and worked their way around boulders. The pain in his side lessened, but the sting in his legs were more noticeable now. The younger one descended down the hill with ease, taking little notice of him who struggled to keep his footing.

"The bunker takes up the whole ridge," the young man explained. "And this is the only way in and out."

They halted in front of a stone wall, half hidden by the hill. Trees made their home on it while their roots wove down the rock. To him, it looked just like any other part of the forest.

Readjusting his glasses, the man's index finger disappeared into a depression. There was a "click" before the rock scraped against the ground, rolling away to reveal a dark stone hallway. He followed the odd ninja down the hall, their footsteps echoing off the walls. The secret entrance closed behind them, leaving them in darkness. This was his life now, a life lacking any light, any hope of a future. But his family was safe now. That was all that mattered.

The dim overhead lights flickered on, leaving them in an orange glow. "And you said you've never had an illness or infection?"

"It is because of the herbs I've had all my life. I'm assuming you want my blood to help your master."

The man chuckled and replied, "You've figured some of it out. However, I have other uses for you as well. We have to make sure you're compatible with him."

They turned left, walking deeper into the dreary bunker. His fists tightened at the young man's tone. "Compatible?"

"Yes. For now, I'll give you a tour of your new home. Lord Orochimaru is attending to his prodigy at the moment."

"My family is safe, correct?"

"Of course," he smiled. "We have no need for them as long as we have you. Now, let's start with the research lab. You will be staying there most of the time."

Farther they crept through the hallways. The darkness clung to the floor and shadows danced on the sides. It was suffocating him, swallowing him up. It was alive, wriggling its way into him like maggots to a corpse. This place permeated with evil, and he had walked straight into it with the gatekeeper of hell leading the way.

There would be no turning back, he realized.

No turning back.

"There's no turning back now, Chiisai."

The scenery changed to one of the training grounds in Konoha. The Sun set partially behind the trees, casting the person in front of her with light. Itachi stood before her, his eyes bright with amusement.

In response, she huffed, "I've already told you I can't do anything that requires chakra."

His eyes turned red, his Sharingan spinning into place under his long lashes. "I would like to see for myself. Just try the Clone Technique using the hand seals: ram, snake, tiger."

She slumped her shoulders, hating how polite he was being- how he was always being. Courteousness was a recent experience for her, and she was unaccustomed to kindness. "I know what they are. Geez," Chiisai crossed her arms, "how stupid do you think I am?"

His eyes widened briefly before explaining, "I did not mean to imply that you were stupid." Itachi stepped closer and said, "I was merely stating-"

"Itachi." She said, "That was sarcasm."

"Oh." The Uchiha cleared his throat, resuming his calmed demeanor. "We need to work on you socialization skills more, especially your tone."

She snorted, causing the corner of his lips to turn up. He was enjoying this, she realized. Gesturing with his hand, Itachi said, "Now, do the technique."

"Fine." She got into the stance and brought her hands together. Closing her eyes, Chiisai focused her chakra, letting it build before she completed the signs. The only thing that happened was a headache. With a groan, Chiisai whined, "See? Nothing."

His eyes narrowed at her, seeing something she couldn't. "Try again."

So she did. Nothing.

Itachi took several steps closer, his Sharingan intense as he stared into her chakra network. His mouth set into a fine line. Gesturing, he replied, "Just once more. Please.”

Hopefully this would be the last time. She joined her hands together, concentrating her energy. She could feel it edge its way through her, her chakra warming up at the command waiting to be met. With one last effort, Chiisai formed the three hand seals. For a second, heat like from a fire engulfed her, sending shoots of pain throughout her nervous system. The "poof" she was supposed to hear was more of an explosion and she was flown back to the ground. Then light faded away, and the last thing she heard was the sound of her name. 

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Muta sighed as the beetles scurried over his hand. The Aburame was the last one on watch. Though it was an honor to be working with such highly recognized shinobi, Genma never shut his mouth and Kakashi was in a darker mood than usual. Only the Hyuga shared in his disapproval for their personalities, but Kakashi and Genma had seen a lot more in their experience then they had. And would Genma ever shut up about Kakashi's girlfriend? It was annoying as hell and Muta feared that Kakashi might take his annoyance out on the team.

The sun was yet to rise over the horizon, but twilight had indeed made its entrance. Sighing, he took his eyes off a beetle and stood to wake his comrades. He shivered as he first headed to Kakashi. But he stopped on seeing him.

The laughter aroused everyone from sleep. Genma grimaced at the shrill noise, pulling him out of his slumber. He paused though when something felt out of place. Why did he feel so warm? His hand went to his side, where he found an arm that wasn't his. Turning over, he found Kakashi curled up against him, his arm wrapped around the not too pleased jonin.

Kakashi's eye opened at the blaring sound, thinking it was an alarm. For a moment, the two stared at each other, taking in the scene. Genma grinned, "You know, usually in this type of situation I'm the big spoon."

The white-haired ninja let out a groan and pushed away from him.

The laughter escalated as another ninja joined in. Apparently the other comrades did have a sense of humor, as long as it was at the expense of someone else. "You must miss your girlfriend a lot, Kakashi. Wait until everyone hears about this!"

Kakashi sighed, knowing he had lost all dignity. At the same time, the dreams rushed to his head. His breath caught in his throat. The forest, Kabuto, the hideout, Itachi…And Chiisai. Why did she show all of this to him? And why hadn't she come personally to show him? There was something wrong. He could feel her emotions inside him, of frustration and longing, confusion and fear. And doubt.

She doubted their relationship.

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She couldn't sleep for many reasons. For one, watching a horror movie late at night was a bad thing if you wanted sleep. And because she wasn't sleeping, she had seizures at least twice an hour, which meant Tomo wouldn't let her out of her sight. Thin scratches marked her arms, and she couldn't help but wonder why they always woke her from them. Pain was always the best tool though, and cat claws she assumed provided enough of it.

And then, well, he wasn't here. He was looking for the hideout. Was he doing alright? He was Hatake Kakashi, of course he was doing alright. Dammit, why wouldn't these thoughts go away? Even when he was gone she couldn't be free of him.

"Why don't you take some sleeping pills?"

Chiisai scratched under Tomo's chin. She stared up into the darkness and replied softly, "I'm not taking any of those drugs. I've had enough of them to last a lifetime."

Tomo nuzzled her hand. "I am sorry."

Swallowing down the memories, Chiisai snuggled deeper into the couch. But the past refused to leave. Finally, she confessed, "When you're a kid, you assume that whatever happens to you is normal because that's all you know. But when the dreams came…It took me a long time to figure out it wasn't normal. You know what else wasn't normal? My mother sneaking sleeping aides into my tea."

Sneaking drugs into a beverage seemed little in comparison to murderig her mother. Her mother hated her, and it was rightly justified, Chiisai told herself. Old habits were hard to break, and being told all her life that she caused everything bad in her family's life didn’t really encourage her to start a family of her own.

Tomo broke the heavy silence. "Kakashi said you've had several traumatic experiences like him."

Frowning, Chiisai sought the ninneko through the darkness. The cat's eyes glowed gold in the dark as Chiisai said, "I thought you two didn't get along. When do you all talk?"

She yawned, "It takes him a long time to sleep most nights, especially when I'm running around the place. He worries over you."

An ache filled her chest at Tomo's words. Kakashi shouldn't be worrying, but of course he would. That was his second nature, though he hid it well under his mask. Pausing briefly, Chiisai whispered, "What would you say if I was thinking about leaving?"

Tomo's ears picked up. "What do you mean?"

Closing her eyes, Chiisai began, "I've caused Kakashi enough problems. I've taken up most of his life and he has to protect me even though I almost killed him." The memory of her accidental attack still haunted her. She was a threat to anyone she came close to, and without the rest of her memories, she as bound to hurt someone. "With my seizures and moments of madness, I don't want him worrying all the time. I don't want him living in fear that I won't wake up one day. His life would be better without me."

The cat kneaded the blanket, her claws plucking at the threads. "Humph, your confidence is next to non-existent. I might have to kick you out if you keep talking like this."

Shaking her head, the woman replied, "We don't belong together, Tomo. Kakashi and I are different in every way." But even saying those words tore through her heart. It was the truth, no matter how much she wanted it to be false.

Her tail flicked back and forth, her haunches sinking into the fabric while replying sternly, "I thought you saw his dreams. I thought you knew him, Chiisai. What do you think you'll accomplish by leaving? Do you think his heart could stand someone else gone from his life?"

She rubbed her forehead, wishing a seizure would sweep her away from the conversation. "I might go into a coma again or I could easily go crazy. Do you think his heart could stand that every day of his life? I can't burden somebody like that. I already made him wait sixty-three days for me."

The ninneko shook her head. Her soothing voice murmured back, "He loves you."

A tear trailed down her cheek before she finally whispered, "I know."


	23. It Begins

The shinobi thrust the bowl at Chiisai and slammed the spoon on the table. "Here, eat some curry!"

She jumped as the small utensil clattered on the wood. Blinking up at his bushy brows, she sighed, "Gai."

He grabbed her cheeks, leaning forward until they were nose to nose. "How have your seizures been? You don't look like you're eating enough. And those circles under your eyes!" He drew back with distraught, but on further inspection muttered, "I guess it must be hard to sleep when my eternal rival is on a mission. When you were sick for so long, poor Kakashi looked like death too! Of course," he went on, "you got better and now I've never seen him so happy! Love truly transforms a person, doesn't it?" Grinning, Gai turned to Chiisai for confirmation before continuing, "Who knew he was such a secret romantic! And when he came to me asking advice on what to do for your birthday, I never saw him so determined-"

"My birthday? That's months away. No," she calculated, "I guess it's…a couple of weeks away." Here time in comatose still had her mind mixed up. Wait, what about Kakashi and advice?

"He guessed you normally didn't celebrate it, but he wants to try something. Well," he crossed his arms, "I personally thought the idea was too plain considering how zesty your personality can be, but Kakashi believes you'll like it. He told me about all the books he's already got you, so we'll see-" Gai stopped mid-gesture, his eyes bulging at what his ears just caught. He grabbed his face in shock and exclaimed, "Wait, I've said too much! You heard nothing!" Falling to his knees, Gai grabbed her hands. With tears of desperation, he begged, "Don't tell him I told you anything!"

She didn't hear him. Her eyes stared down at his green vest, lost in thought. After a few moments, she softly smiled, "He really cares about me, doesn't he?"

Jumping to his feet, Gai shouted, "Of course he does! He may not seem like an emotional person, but I know deep within him is a fire that rages like the springtime of youth! I'm sure you already know that in more ways than one. "

She caught his wink and nearly choked on the spoon. Gai didn't notice, or was rather too deep into his ramblings to help. Chiisai successfully swallowed the bite of curry as the ninja paced through the kitchen.

"I've been trying to think what your future children will look like. Will they have his hair or yours? I just hope you won't let them wear masks like their father. And you can't let Kakashi read those novels around them! You'll have to be the enforcer of the house." He placed a hand on his chin and continued, "And I'm sure Naruto will try to be their adoptive uncle, but I've already decided that's my duty as Kakashi's best friend. Oh," he squealed, "how nice it will be to be called obi-chan!"

"Eh?!" The chair scraped against the floor as she bolted up. Raking a hand through her hair, Chiisai quickly replied, "You're rushing a few things, don't you think? I mean, we haven't even discussed-"

"Oh, I've put you on the spot! My apologies!" He clasped her shoulders and pushed her back into the seat. "Just eat up and get strong! I don't want Kakashi to think I haven't been taking care of you!" Glancing around, he grinned, "Now, where's that adorable Tomo at?"

A hiss resonated from the living room. Gai sprinted out the kitchen with a shout of excitement. A clash rang through the apartment, followed by the soft pitter patters of swift paws against floorboards. Gai's massive limbs bumped into various things as he scrambled to his feet.

"Get back here, Tomo! I know you love to cuddle!"

"Help me," Tomo panted as she appeared in front of Chiisai. "I don't want his beefy hands touching my fur."

Twirling the spoon, she replied, "Sorry, but Gai never gives up. That's his ninja way."

"There you are! You can't run from my friendship, Tomo!" He bounded to her, eyes glinting with determination. "Just accept it!"

She let out another hiss, baring claws as he leapt toward her. Blood drew up from his torn skin. With that, Chiisai snatched Tomo up by the scruff of the neck. "Apologize."

The ninneko brought her paws together and used substitution jutsu. A fork appeared in Chiisai’s hand instead, and she let out a growl.

There was an exhale of a heavy sigh as Chiisai faced Gai. "I'm sorry. She's picky when it comes to humans. Kakashi hasn't given her a good impression of the general male populous."

"This is nothing! You should've seen the damage Kakashi gave me when I first tried to be his friend," the ninja laughed. He gave her a thumbs up. "I shall treasure this wound as the marking of new friendship!"

She scolded Tomo when she reappeared on the counter. Handing him a cloth, Chiisai replied, "Surely you don't want a symbol of pain to be the start of a relationship."

"Ah, but that's how you know it's worth it!" He pressed the cool rag to the scratches. "A little pain is insignificant compared to the joys ahead!"

Chiisai stared down at the floor, her hands tightening to fists at his words. Looking back, was all the pain up until now worth being with Kakashi? The threats, the constant seizures, their arguments, fighting her father, even her dying…All of those moments, and what did they add up to in the end?

Gai smiled down at the cat and offered, "Maybe next time I'll bring corn, eh?"

Tomo narrowed her eyes at the shinobi. "You're not going to go away, are you."

"I shall never abandon a friend!" he exclaimed. Pausing, Gai then added, "No matter how grumpy or ill-mannered they are! Believe me, I’ve had enough practice with Kakashi."

Chiisai's eyes widened, her heart thudding against her sternum as a memory flooded her thoughts. Kakashi's face appeared in her mind, his eye crinkling up in a smile. "I protect my comrades, remember?" He smiled reassuringly. "I won't abandon you, so don't abandon me."

Tomo's ears lifted up slightly while regarding the green beast of Konoha. With a sigh, she responded, "I'll accept your peace offering, for now."

"See?" Gai turned to Chiisai. "Determination and persistence brings about-" He blinked. "What are you doing?"

Her hands wrung around the sponge, letting the water drip back into the sink. "I'm going to wash the dishes, and then clean the apartment."

Frowning, Tomo muttered, "But you hate cleaning."

Chiisai shoved the sleeves of her sweatshirt up and turned on the faucet. Smiling to herself, she whispered back, "I know."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

The Hyuga shook his head at what Kakashi said. "You know so much about the layout it almost sounds like you've been here before."

Genma chewed on his senbon and then asked, "How do we know it's not a trap, that this is false data?"

"It isn't," Kakashi replied without emotion.

Sighing, Genma muttered, "In one of your moods I see. Trouble in the relationship department?"

Kakashi readjusted his scarf. "I don't think that's any of your business."

The brunette pointed, "Oi, I can see it on what little face is exposed. All men have the same look in their eyes, well," Genma corrected, "in your case eye. How horrible it is to be in love," he sighed with dissatisfaction. He placed a hand on his comrade's shoulder and said, "I will mourn your loss of logic, friend. Maybe we should have a funeral to commemorate the death of your genius as well."

"You're too thoughtful." His eyes darted around, keeping surveillance of the forest. Besides the snow, every detail matched the dream exactly, giving him a sense of déjà vu.

"And the way you two met," he shook his head, "that's so cliché. It's absolutely brilliant."

Tokuma sighed, closing his pupil-less eyes with distaste. How many times was Genma going to pester their leader about his girlfriend? For a mission, this seemed highly unprofessional.

"Eh," Kakashi shrugged, "I've met lots of people while saving them."

"Interesting." Genma chewed on his senbon again before inquiring, "And what makes our little Chiisai so different?"

Kakashi’s eyebrows furrowed at the world ‘our.” But his answer spilled from his lips effortlessly. "Everything."

Muta appeared before them, his eyes hidden behind his dark goggles. They tensed at his arrival. He reported, "The worms didn't detect anyone within the bunker. Apparently it's abandoned."

Kakashi nodded. So they had missed Orochimaru and Sasuke by a couple of months. Using information from his previous encounters with Orochimaru's hideouts, he said, "We proceed as planned with extreme caution. It's likely there will be traps. Tokuma, activate your Byakugan once we're in."

"Understood," he nodded.

The leader stood and led the way to the entrance. The team raced silent through the snow, leaping from tree to tree as Kakashi recalled the dream. They started down the hill, passing giant rocks before stopping at one half hidden by the hill.

The adrenaline kicked in, their hearts quickening as they stood in front of the stone wall. Taking a deep breath, Kakashi traced his finger down the frigid stone before sinking his finger into the familiar crevice. They were knocking on the front door of the enemy.

The secret entrance clicked open and the stone rolled away to reveal the bunker. The only light came from the outside.

Tokuma stepped in front, using his Byakugan to scan the bunker. He narrowed his eyes in one direction, focusing through the tunnels and earth to see a faint network of chakra some 300 meter ahead. "There's something. It's definitely not human. But with its chakra levels, it seems to be hibernating."

"It looks like we have to take out Orochimaru's trash," Kakashi said.

Genma muttered, "Hope it's not one of those damned giant snakes."

Beetles spilled from his sleeves as Muta replied, "It shouldn't be a problem."

All in mutual agreement, the four silently stepped into the darkness and headed into the lair of the beast.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Bluebells and asters aren't the typical grave flowers. Are you sure you want them?"

Smiling, Chiisai said, "Thank you, but these are fine."

Ino rang up the price and whispered with a hint of mischief, "You know, you're the talk of all the kunoichi's."

The woman calmly replied, "It seems I'm never far from people's thoughts these days." Tomo rubbed her face against Chiisai's cheek. The woman scratched under the cat's chin as she balanced on her shoulder.

The blonde wrapped the flowers up as Chiisai's hand dove into her bag for cash. "Actually," Ino started, "I know this will sound weird, but I think you were in my dream the other night."

Fingers gripping the money, she swallowed and quickly came up with an explanation. "Everyone in a person's dreams come from the people you see in reality. Your mind can't create faces, so it uses ones from your memory. That's probably why." She was being careless nowadays.

"Really? Huh." Ino took the money and rang up the register. "Oh, are you coming to the girl's night out? I don't know if Shizune's told you or not."

"She'll probably drag me there either way," Chiisai sighed with discontent. "I'm not a ninja though, so it makes me feel out of place."

"It's a girl's night out, not a kunoichi's night out! Besides, it's going to be fun." Nodding to herself, Ino smiled back, "You should definitely come. It'll be at the BBQ place around seven. And with Anko, we'll probably stop by the dango shop too."

They made eye contact and her old dreams spilled into Chiisai. Team Asuma, boys, her last mission, and dangos rushed at her mind, awakening her memory and the emotions behind Ino's dreams. The tip of Tomo's claws sank into her skin, pulling her back into reality. Gripping the flowers, Chiisai managed to muster out, "I'll think about it."

The two said their farewells. Chiisai walked briskly out of the shop, the bell dinging as she stepped out the door. About that time, a voice broke through the air and pierced her ears.

"Chiiiisaiiii! Are you visiting the cemetery again?"

A girl bounded up to her. Chiisai blinked in surprise, remembering her from several weeks back. The dreams of her dead mother always called out to Chiisai in the dream world, and the woman had gone out of her way once to even help console the child at the cemetery. Smiling down at her, Chiisai said, "Hey, Mai. It’s good to see you again. I'm making a personal visit today, for a friend."

Her brown eyes peeked into the bag and caught sight of the blue and light purple flowers. She tugged on Chiisai's pants and asked, "Could you leave one of those flowers for my mom? I would visit her, but Dad wants me and him to visit together." When Chiisai nodded, Mai further asked, "Can you play with me sometime?"

Startled, Chiisai frowned down at her, thinking it to be a joke. The dreams hit her, and she quickly looked away. But Mai shyly glanced up at her. Her lips protruded in a pout.

With a heavy exhale, the librarian muttered, "Are you trying to guilt trip me with that look?"

Grinning, she replied, "Mhmm."

Shoulders slumped, Chiisai finally muttered, "Fine.”

She jumped up with glee, her black hair following behind. Placing a hand on her tiny hip, the child changed her demeanor and said, "Yes! Just don’t have you’re boyfriend come. He’s nice, but I still think he’s scary."

"He's not scary," she rolled her eyes. The cat snickered, and Chiisai jerked her shoulder. Tomo regained balance and gave her a glare.

Her body leaned forward as she retaliated, "Is too!" She crossed her arms. "You must be in love."

Chiisai jumped back as if she had been attacked. "What?! What makes you say such a thing?"

A noise came from Tomo then, almost sounding like laughter. The girl tilted her head to the feline and then the woman. "My dad told me love makes people blind. He had to explain it a few times, but I know it must be true. Your boyfriend is really scary looking and you can't see it."

Hands in fists, Chiisai replied, "He's scary then. He is absolutely terrifying."

With a giggle, she pointed a finger at her and yelled, "No take backs! Well, I’ll see you later! And I like your cat!"

Tomo watched the child wave and disappear in around the bend. "I like her."

"Of course you do."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Tokuma walked behind Kakashi. The dampness and silence hung heavy in the air, making the team restless. The Hyuga whispered, "This place doesn't feel right."

"Any place that houses Orochimaru never feels right," Kakashi said.

Muta shivered as the hallway opened up into a giant room. "Does anyone else feel something evil?"

Tokuma narrowed his eyes and pointed, "There."

The four walked into the abandoned lab, the test tubes casting the room in a green glow. Genma grimaced as they approached one. "Shit, it is one of those damn giant snakes. Let's get this over with."

Muta stared up at the creature, its pale snake skin coiled tightly within the glass. Its face was a mixture of Orochimaru and reptile. Its eyes were closed, seemingly unaware of being watched. Beetles appeared on the Aburame's hands as he cautiously whispered, "Are you sure it's still alive?"

The monster's eyes flew open at that moment. For a second, all was silent as its gold-slitted pupils stared back at them. Then all hell broke loose.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai finished cleaning the grave. Placing the rag in the bucket, she placed the rest of the flowers in both vases.

Tomo peaked down at the stone. "Whose is this?"

"Nohara Rin," Chiisai whispered. "She was once a teammate of Kakashi."

Reading the tombstone, the ninneko replied, "She did not live long."

Quietly, Chiisai explained, "She stepped in front of Kakashi while he was attacking the enemy. His chidori went straight through her chest." Swallowing, she said, "She knew they had done something to her, so she chose to die by his hand."

Tomo gazed at the dark stone, contemplating the pale-haired ninja and his past. "Did she love him?"

Chiisai didn't reply, but had her eyes trained on the setting sun. Wrapping herself more in her coat, she said, "Can you find Shizune and tell her I'm coming tonight? I don't want her hunting me down when she finds out I'm not at the apartment."

"You want me to leave you?"

"We both know there's an ANBU assigned to me. I'll be fine," she smiled. "I'll meet you at the restaurant in a bit. I need to do some things here."

“I heard what happened last time you were alone.” The ninneko assessed the woman and noting her reserved demeanor, added, "I‘ll keep my distance, but you will stay within my sight.”

The cat hopped off her shoulder and disappeared from view. Chiisai knelt in front of the grave. The coldness ate at her legs. Head bowed, she whispered, "I'm sorry Kakashi couldn't be here. I hope you're alright with me for today. He misses you two, you know. He misses his team." Not sure what to say, she continued slowly, "You always had nice dreams, up until Obito. Well, I guess both of you are watching over Kakashi now. I'm grateful for it. I mean, not that you two are gone, but that you all are watching over him. Because we all know he needs it. I'm grateful for that." Scratching her head, Chiisai muttered, "Sorry, I'm not good at this."

A breeze picked up, catching her hair. Her hand raked the strands back. "I wanted to come here. I needed to tell someone. Of course, I wanted to go to my mother's grave, but that just doesn't feel right." With shame in her dark eyes, she confessed, "I've thought about leaving him so many times recently, but thinking about you and Obito- well, I'd get a good scolding from both of you if I did that, wouldn't I?" She tried to smile, to say something reassuring, but nothing came out. Instead, tears filled her eyes and her lips twitched at the emotion she couldn't fight back. "I didn't want to. I thought it would go away. Fighting it only makes it stronger. I thought I didn't know what it was, what it felt like. But I know now. He loves me, and I love him."

"It's not going away. I love him."

Chiisai grabbed her head. The pain blurred her vision and she groaned as it came in another wave.

"This is happening because of it, isn't it? I can't stop."

Her body gave out, her lungs struggling for breath. The bucket overturned, the water sinking into her coat. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her nails dug into her scalp, but no pain could erase the flashback.

"Why does it hurt so much? I can't stop. Please, make it go away! I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel this way every single second of every single god damn day! It's hurting everyone! Please, do something. Do something."

"Chiisai!"

Her eyes opened to see Mai running towards her. Taking a deep breath, Chiisai pushed herself up into a sitting position and shivered. Noting the water on her coat, she peeled the clothing off. The flashbacks were getting worse, and she still couldn't remember them after they left. Tomo appeared next to her, concern in her eyes.

"Are you okay? What happened??”

"I'm fi-" Chiisai stopped and corrected, "This happens sometimes. It's nothing to worry about." She smiled at Mai, hoping to cover the ache in her head. For a moment Chiisai stared into the girl's eyes, but nothing hit her. Looking around, she discovered that no one else stood in the cemetery, except Tomo.

“Tomo,” Chiisai said, “Remember tonight’s dinner? Can you go ahead and reserve another seat for Mai?”

The ninneko raised an eyebrow. “I’ve already told you I won’t leave you alone.”

“But I’m not alone,” Chiisai replied. “Please?” She smiled down at Mai and added, “I’m sure she’d love to meet such strong kunoichi’s.”

“Fine,” Tomo sighed. “But if you’re not there in five minutes, I’m bringing Shizune to scold you.”

Chiisai nodded as the ninneko flickered out.

“Are we really going to have dinner with kunoichi’s?” Mai asked.

“You can stop the charade.”Chiisai towered over her and fought back the nausea. Shit, her body wasn't capable of running right now. Those flashbacks did her body the same way the seizures did. "Who the hell are you?"

"Found out already? How interesting." Mai asked, "Did you see my dreams?"

Her eyes widened, her body rigid at the cruel smile etching its way on the girl's face. Taking a step back, Chiisai whispered, "How the-"

The façade gone, the man stood, his fingers twitching with excitement. Cocking his head to the side, the man narrowed his lavender eyes and smiled, "It's nice to see you again.”

“I can’t say the same to you,” she said. But at least Tomo was safe now. “I thought I had an anbu guarding me.”

Hitoshi replied, “He wasn’t very good at his job, I’m afraid.” He studied her, and Chiisai held her ground. It was useless to run away, and he’d probably only enjoy it if she did. “I'm here to take you alive, but you don't have to be in perfect condition." She parted her lips to scream, but the man was quick. His fist plunged into her stomach, causing blood to spew from her mouth. Chiisai flung back into the memorial stone, her head snapping back on to Rin’s name. Pain erupted in her head and stomach, and she clutched her abdomen. Breath wasn’t coming in fast enough. Her lungs shuttered in a cough, forcing the blood out of her throat. She was too weak to fight back and her taijutsu would be no match for a shinobi like him. She had already known her fate when they made eye contact.

He popped his knuckles and bent over her. His fingers gripped wads of her hair as he forced her to look at him. "We're going to have some fun, Little Dreamer."

His finger trailed her cheekbone, his eyes taking in her face as his finger slid to her neck, then further down. Chiisai spat in his face. The ninja smirked and wiped the blood off. He released her with a jerk and brought his hands together, activating a genjutsu. Pain wasn't going to get her out of this. She needed the dream world, but this man wasn't going to let her sleep any time soon.

"Funny, you just cleaned this grave and now it's covered with your blood."

“At least I’ll be easier to track,” she choked out.

“It’s a pity.” Hitoshi activated the jutsu, and Chiisai collapsed on the ground. Hitoshi hoisted her on to his back, and finished, “Hatake isn’t here to see this.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Well," Tokuma panted, "that was fun."

Genma glared down at the limp monster and muttered, "I hate snakes. I fucking hate snakes."

"It's dead now," Kakashi replied. "Let's find any information we can before we leave."

Muta glanced around the research lab. There were no documents, just old vials littering the counters. "It looks like we're going to get this mission done early then."

"Good." Genma shined his light around the room and said, "I don't think I can spend another night with lovebird over there."

Kakashi didn't reply. He left the room and headed down the hall. They had missed Sasuke, and now there was nothing left to tell where they had gone. Orochimaru had slipped through Konoha's fingers yet again.

The jonin walked faster, his thoughts consumed with the past. Naruto, with all his determination, wasn't able to bring Sasuke back a year ago. Picking up Naruto's body, carrying that broken boy back to the village…Fate was cruel, always twisting its way through the lives of those around him. Naruto and Sasuke were bound by Fate, and no matter how long it took, the two were destined to fight again. Their reunion would not be that of happiness.

Kakashi raked a hand through his hair and headed back. He sighed at the gesture yet was slightly amused at the trait he picked up from Chiisai. He had already decided that they would do something once he got back, a date perhaps, one that her abilities wouldn't interfere with. That is, as long as she wasn't avoiding him. He would have to address that too. Of course, he was confident he knew the reason for it. He had told her he could wait, but now he wasn't so sure. He needed to tell her and he needed to hear her say it. Yes, once he got back, he would finally admit he loved her.

He stepped back into the lab. "I didn't find anything."

"Me either," Genma sighed. "It looks like they've cleaned the place out."

Tokuma came in from the other hall. "I found some old plants and herbs. That's it on the east side."

Kakashi replied, "It's better than nothing. Lady Tsunade might be able to tell what they were used for."

Their footstep echoed off the walls and Tokuma muttered, "This place is disturbing."

"Let's get out of here." Genma placed his arms behind his head and grinned, "I want to be the first to hug Chiisai."

The younger teammates sighed.

Kakashi shook his head. "You really enjoy doing that, don't you?"

"What." He shrugged. "I have to make up for all these years you've never been in a relationship."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, though it was hidden in the dark. "Should I mention all of the women who have been in your life?"

"I can't help it if kunoichis like me so much."

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The kunoichis sat at the table, eyeing the food before them. Laughter filled the air as they munched on the BBQ.

"So when is this girl going to show up?" Anko took a swig of sake. 

"Maybe she got sick," Sakura offered.

"It would be nice to meet her," Hinata said nervously.

"I myself would like to see what all the fuss is about," Tenten said.

"She looked fine earlier," Ino replied. "But she said being around ninjas made her uncomfortable."

Tomo paced back and forth. "It’s been six minutes. I’m going back to her. I forget how short her legs are."

"It's possible she skipped," Kurenai said calmly. "Her seizures don't make her one for crowds."

Ankle blinked in surprise. “Seizures? That explains a lot.”

Shizune stood and faced Tomo. "I'll go with you. Didn’t you say I’d have to scold her?"

They exited and headed towards the cemetery.

"Would she skip?"

Tomo shook her head as they sprinted through the village. "Chiisai can't say no to people she likes. Unless she lost track of time, she should have come."

They came to a halt in the cemetery. 

“No.” Tomo squeezed her eyes shut and cursed. “She tricked me.” Realization sunk in, and she shook her head. “She didn’t want me hurt trying to protect her.” Like Tori.

The bucket was overturned and next to it lay Chiisai's coat. Shizune's brown eyes widened as she stared down at the grave. Footprints dented the snow, both small and large. There had been some type of battle, and by the looks of it, the victor had easily won. Tomo sniffed the ground and said, “Whoever it was tried to cover his scent, but I’ve been tracking him all week. Hitoshi. Why didn’t I recognize it earlier? It’s all my fault.”

"We’ll find her,“ Shizune reassured her. But worry crept in her tone. It was nighttime, and at freezing temperatures. And Chiisai was likely under a genjutsu, and she didn’t even have her coat. “Please get Lady Tsunade.”

The ninneko obeyed and flickered out. Shizune bent down over Rin’s grave.

It was stained with blood.


	24. Pursuit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: short torture scene in this chapter!

His feet crunched under the thin layer of snow as Kakashi trudged up the road. It was the middle of the night, but the team had been eager to get back a day early. And with no lead to Orochimaru and Sasuke's whereabouts, Kakashi agreed they head home.

Genma patted him on the back as they approached the main gate. "It looks like you'll have to report in the morning. Won't Chiisai be surprised to see you."

The two teammates behind them sighed. Kakashi glanced up at the sky, where the stars lit up like candle lights. The moon shined bright enough to cast shadows of them as he replied, "She's probably still awake."

He raised an eyebrow and switched his senbon to the other side of his mouth. "At this hour? Ah," he nodded, "she has trouble sleeping without you, doesn't she?"

Her face came to mind, picturing her reaction for when he came home. A smile…Replaced with a glare and a defensive comment…A blushful withdrawal at realizing she wore his shirt…Then an excuse for not having the apartment cleaned. Would he tell her then? "Mm."

Genma stared on ahead, looking up at the village. His voice was low as he muttered, "It must be nice having someone to go home to."

"Kakashi."

He turned to the two shadows at the desk. It was Izumo and Kotetsu, their bodies tense. Izumo said, "The Hokage requests your presence."

Genma and Kakashi both exchanged glances. Kakashi muttered, "I'm not in trouble, am I?"

Kotetsu lifted his head. He couldn't bring himself to meet Kakashi's eye. "Just- Just hurry, alright?"

The lightheartedness disappeared from the ninja's faces. Fearing the worst, Kakashi used the flicker technique and reappeared at the Hokage's office. Her desk was smashed to pieces. Papers littered the floor, but Shizune made no move to organize them. On seeing the jonin, Lady Tsunade glanced at Shizune, sighed, and returned her gaze back to him.

His eye narrowed and he said with some hesitation, "Chiisai."

Both of the women nodded. In one breath, Tsunade forced out steadily, "She's been kidnapped."

Kakashi heard the words, but his brain didn't interpret them. Surely he hadn't heard that right. He was just tired from the mission. "What?"

Tsunade met his eye, hating the words that were about to leave her mouth. "Chiisai was taken at the cemetery last night. Tomo was with Shizune at the time, and the ANBU guarding her was found dead. The kidnapper enticed by pretending to be a child. I sent Tomo and a team. They are in pursuit as we speak."

And they hadn't returned. The understanding sent his brain back into motion. Kakashi turned away, attempting to gain some control of the emotions raging inside. Now wasn't the time to let his feelings outweigh his logic. If he was to get Chiisai back he needed to remain calm.

Easier said than done.

"I know I can't stop you from going after her. But he'll be expecting you. It could easily turn into a trap."

"Having the Stone ambassador leave early and being satisfied with the Leaf's demands…That's not something Earth country have usually done." He clenched his fists. "They must have known since the night Chiisai slipped into my dream."

"This is an impulsive move on their part. I don't think it was the ambassador. He's close to the Tsuchikage and wouldn't do anything so drastic without first speaking directly to him." She paused before finishing, "But his bodyguard, I believe, would."

His eye narrowed. Hitoshi the sensory ninja. He would have found Chiisai easily. With all that she had been through, Chiisai could easily withstand torture, though Kakashi hated the thought of it. But Hitoshi was sadistic, and clearly he had taken a liking to her since he first laid eyes on her.

Kakashi couldn't think about that now. Now, he'd go crazy if he entertained such thoughts. The rage within him was already boiling at the surface at knowing how far away she already was.

"She has too many of Konoha's secrets." The Hokage took a step forward. "If word gets out about her power, if she becomes a liability-"

"You know how stubborn she is, Lady Tsunade. I'm more concerned about what Hitoshi will do once he realizes she won't submit." The ninja turned away, a plan already forming in his mind. "I'm won't let them leave Fire Country."

Her brown eyes closed. The same fear as Kakashi's ate at her insides. Chiisai's body, though almost fully recovered, was still weak and susceptible to ninjutsu. And from the blood…With her injuries and not even a coat on, Chiisai sufferings would only get worse. "Her scent will be strong at the cemetery," she replied. She watched him walk away. "You at least need a team to back you up."

He already had his hand on the handle. "That will take too long." They had wasted enough time as it was.

Kakashi opened the door to see three ninja in front of him. "You got a team right here, captain," Genma stated. "Sorry, Lady Hokage, but we couldn't help but overhear. We'll look after Kakashi for you."

Muta and Tokuma nodded in agreement, suddenly wishing they hadn't been so annoyed at the mention of Chiisai. They could see the emotions in Kakashi's eye, the anger, the determination and worry all swirling in that cold pupil, waiting to take out all wrath on the stone ninja.

"Let's go."

They followed him to the scene of the kidnapping. They halted at Rin's grave. The area was taped off. The bucket still lay on the side, the tracks visible under the dark bits of snow. Kakashi dropped to his knees, his shins turning cold against the ground. His eyes gazed down at the flowers, untouched by the blood. The place stank of dried blood. For a moment, time was lost to him as he stared at the flowers. Remembrance and gratefulness. They were already withering.

Rin, he thought, I’m going to bring her back. I'm not losing anyone else.

Cutting his thumb, Kakashi summoned Pakkun. On seeing the jonin's face, he inquired, "What's wrong?"

"Chiisai's been taken."

Instantly, his nostrils flared as tilted his head down. Following his nose, he walked down the rows of graves. "I got it." The ninken bolted in a sprint, leading the four ninjas through the trees.

Tokuma asked, "Why would the ambassador's bodyguard take her?"

Kakashi replied, "We didn't take too fondly of each other when I escorted them to the Leaf. Chiisai was waiting at the main gate when we arrived. He advanced on her, you could say." The jonin cursed under his breath at the memory. Physically, Chiisai was defenseless. Hitoshi could do anything he wanted.

Genma glanced at his friend. "We'll make it in time, Kakashi."

He nodded back. They would make it.

That was something he had to believe.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai fought to open her eyes. Her body was heavy, and her mind fought through the haze clouding her mind. Her body shivered against someone while her forehead beat against his back repeatedly. From tree limb to tree limb the person leapt as he gripped the bottom of Chiisai's thighs. She shivered again from the cold, realizing that she didn't have a coat on. Maybe she’d freeze to death.

No, there was something else. Why was she on someone's back and why did she feel so heavy and empty? It was like a cloud hanging over her. It reminded her of waking up from comatose. And why did her mouth taste like iron?

Struggling, Chiisai managed to mutter, "Wha..."

"So the genjutsu finally wore off, eh?"

Her eyes widened at the sound of his voice. Shit. Shit. She'd been taken. "Kakashi's going to…come for me." Chiisai gasped for air, her lungs straining against her diaphragm. There must be a rib broken.

The ninja smirked. "He won't be back for another day. And by then you'll already be in Earth Country."

She was going to have to be careful with this, she slowly realized. He knew quite a few things about her, secrets only a select few possessed. He couldn't have gotten the information without some help.

Hitoshi sat her down against a tree. She was too weak to move, and it took most of her energy to speak. She glanced up at him as he took a drink of water. He was definitely the ambassador's bodyguard. But where was the ambassador?

Hitoshi crouched in front of her as he said, "I know you're Konoha's weapon."

She couldn't find the energy to show her sarcasm. "Do I…look like a weapon?"

He tilted his head and replied, "I've spoken to Danzo. I know it's you."

"Psh," she replied, "Like that's a great person to trust." 

He gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. "He traded you as a sign of peace between our villages for when he becomes Hokage…Since we recently lost our jinchuriki. Why do you think it was so easy taking you? As long as I can cross the border with you, you're Stone's property. And with Danzo's ninjas turning a blind eye, it should be easy."

She focused her energy on her lips, diverting the pain for a moment. Shivers racked her body, and through chattering teeth, she said, "Danzo has you fooled."

His face darkened. His hand dropped to her throat. She let out a noise as his fingers wrapped around her neck, cutting off her air supply. Hitoshi tightened his hold as she arched her back, her hands gripping his wrists. His tone hardened as he said, "Dai thought the same thing, but I beg to differ. Danzo wants you out of the way. He can't afford to have Lady Tsunade have the upper hand when he makes his move. And she's keeping you such a secret that she won't be able to make a fuss about you without drawing attention from the other villages." He released her, throwing her back against the tree. Chiisai's eyes bulged as the oxygen came rushing back. She coughed and hacked, her stomach aching as her body jerked with the effort to breathe. The ninja watched her struggle as he said to himself, "Will the Hokage keep you a secret still or have you eliminated? I'm curious to see what will happen."

Her voice scratched out as she said, "If you…know anything about me…then you know…what a disadvantage you're in." Her throat felt swollen, like he had permanently sealed her esophagus up. And it was so cold.

Hitoshi replied, "I'm afraid you won't have any effect on me. You see, Danzo knew how to hide his mind from you. By the time you'll have the advantage I'll have already fixed you."

She digested his words. So Danzo knew how to block himself from dreaming. "And how…do you plan on "fixing" me?"

He dragged the tip of a kunai up her thigh, tearing the cloth as he watched her reaction. "I wouldn't want to ruin such soft skin more than I have to."

Chiisai attempted to react, to slap or spit in his face again. But her body was heavy and it pressed against her mind's clarity. She needed to stay calm and think of a plan. She needed to get into the dream world. "You sure you want to strengthen my scent…with my blood?"

He leaned closer, his lips grazing her ear. "Sweetheart, I don't have to make you bleed." That smile was back on his face as his eyes roamed over her body. Once they crossed the boundary into Earth territory, the Tsuchikage would take her away from him. But watching her small frame struggle to move, her face set in grim determination…she was a tenacious one. "You and I are going to play a little game."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Kakashi, Pakkun, and the rest of the team came across them early that morning.

Kakashi bent over the leaf shinobi. Yes, still alive. The ninja struggled to open his eyes as Kakashi tapped his cheek.

"It…It was a trap."

Kakashi nodded as he lifted the rocks off of him. His comrades followed suit and hoisted the trapped shinobi out of the rubble. Thankfully, all were breathing but their injuries needed immediate attention.

The man grabbed on to his wrist. "She was unconscious when we met them. Tomo managed to free herself a while ago."

Muta picked one of the limp bodies up and said, "We have to take them back to the village."

Pakkun stiffened as his smelled the air. "Her scent's gotten stronger."

"Take them back. I'll go after Hitoshi," Kakashi ordered.

Gemna stood and wiped off his pants. "What you mean to say is have Muta and Tokuma take them and I go with you, baka."

Kakashi turned to his comrade and replied, "This isn't-"

"We can manage without him," Tokuma said. Muta nodded as well as he balanced two shinobi over each shoulder.

Kakashi met Genma's eyes and sighed . Genma nodded in farewell at the other two before following Kakashi and Pakkun. Lovebird could probably handle by himself, but the psychological warfare he would encounter when they finally got to Chiisai might be too much. He wasn't going to let his friend suffer through that, at least not alone.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"You look a little cold." His fingers slid up her bare skin, feeling the roughness of her scars. His hand travelled farther as goosebumps graced her stomach. He stopped a little above the waist, pressing on the rib he cracked earlier. When she didn't react, he pushed harder. Her breath caught in her throat as the bone broke, causing her body to shudder. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the pain couldn't be blocked out. It exploded against her eyelids, causing her to see stars in the blackness. Pleased, Hitoshi asked, "Are you comfortable?"

She bit down on her lower lip, fighting the urge to scream.

He chuckled as he broke another rib. Hitoshi watched her, his hands sinking around her tied wrists. He pulled them up, causing her to let out a cry as her arms were forced higher, yanking at the muscles attached to broken bones. "You're stubborn, aren't you?"

Chiisai gritted her teeth. She fought through the nausea and met his gaze. "You have...No idea." 

The shinobi studied her for a moment, her body shivering uncontrollably. Her hands and feet were already turning blue. He would have to stop his fun soon and carry her back to Earth country. But she hadn't been broken yet, physically yes, but mentally, she was surprisingly a pillar of stone. Stroking his chin, Hitoshi said, "Are you a lover of pain?"

She tried to smile, her only way of showing her resilience. “As you can see…by my torso…pain won't work on me." Chiisai closed her mouth and caught her breath, but each movement of her lungs reminded her of shurikens digging inside her.

He released his grip on her and let out a laugh. "Even under torture, you have a sense of humor." He shook his, his smile dissipating as he said, "You may not be a ninja, but the way you hold yourself is that of a kunoichi." His cold fingers grazed over her hip as he said, "Were you perhaps a prisoner of Konoha? Was Hatake your personal warden turned lover? Wouldn't that be interesting," he mused.

There was no response from Chiisai. Hitoshi drew his hand back, wondering if he had finally gotten to her. "Perhaps you shut down the entire village trying to escape, causing the incident several months back."

She remained silent, her eyes heavy with pain as she shivered from the frigid air. Her limbs were going numb, but at least it blocked out the pain in them. But her torso…It was screaming inside, tearing at her nervous system with each inhale she took. If only she could stop it, stop breathing for a moment.

His finger tapped her forehead and she wrenched her head away. He smiled, amused by her defiance. "How long do you think your mental state will hold up?”

She glanced down at her half-naked body that was exposed to the icy air, nipping at her skin like needles. And all the while those lavender eyes were on her, devising another way to bend her will. He was being careless though, consumed in his little game. But at least it was buying her time. Ruggedly, she forced out, "You're going to carry me to your village …like this?"

"Oh, I've brought people back in worse conditions," he chuckled. 

Under he breath, she muttered, "Not a surprise."

He stroked her hair and whispered, "Little Dreamer, I really do like you. It’s been a long time since I’ve had such fun."

She wanted to kill him, to torture him in the dream world. But she was useless in reality, and he seemed to enjoy her responses in an unhealthy way. She shouldn’t have responded at all to him, but gods, what she wouldn’t give to shove a kunai through his skull. 

The ninja gazed down at her, observing her chest rise and fall sporadically, her small breasts straining against such thin fabric. He felt the leaf ninjas not far off, along with another set of powerful chakra, though they didn't seem to feel his presence. 

Hitoshi said, "The pleasure of a woman is something I've rather missed while being away from home."

Her eyes widened, her muscles suddenly tense. "You won't break me," Chiisai croaked out. She tried to reign in the terror rising, that made her heart beat fast. Rage suddenly surfaced, and she tilted her head up to him and growled, "I won't let you."

"I don't think you know what lengths I will go to ensure the prosperity of my village." Chiisai flinched as his cool hand slid up her skin. "Finally, some fear in your eyes. If this is what it takes to shatter your insubordination, then so be it." His rough lips pressed against the curve of her neck. She couldn't help but cringe from his touch, forcing herself against the back of the tree. Her skin scraped against the bark. Pain erupted as she jerked away, but that only made him lift her arms up over her head, causing another cry to escape her lips. 

She tore herself away, and the movement had her muscles aching for some kind of relief. Hitoshi laughed. He grinned, "Not much for jokes now, are you?"

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

At first, Kakashi thought they were caught in a trap. But the familiar sensation swept over him as his knees buckled. Genma collapsed beside him, his mind pulsating with a heavy pressure. Kakashi let out a groan. It was like someone beat against his skull with a hammer.

Chiisai had said her chakra only shot out to others when she was having a nightmare, when her mind believed she was dying. Kakashi’s hand curled into a fist at the thought.

Her mind believed she was dying.

His hands grabbed onto his head, his fingers digging into his hair as he fought to stay conscious. Her chakra was wildly out of control, and his chakra was sucked out of him. Another wave of agony hit him, and his body spasmed, trying to get rid of whatever was assailing it.

And then it was gone.

Dirt sunk behind his nails as his fingers curled into the ground. Kakashi couldn't stop his hands from shaking, and neither could he stop his heart beat fast. His mind spiraled down the only path that seemed logical.

"What the…What was that?" Genma shakily got to his feet and turned to his comrade. Pakkun stood beside Kakashi, trying to get him out of the trance he was stuck in.

Her attack ended so swiftly, like it had been cut off completely. And that left Kakashi with only one theory. No, he couldn't lose her like this. She couldn't be…

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"What the hell? Did you feel that, Itachi?"

The missing-nin slowly nodded. "Hai. I know the chakra well."

Kisame straightened as his sword cooed with excitement. Shaking his head, the man grinned, "Samehada is going crazy. I've been itching for a battle lately."

The Uchiha, as always, spoke with calm. "She is not a ninja." His tone changed, and Kisame raised an eyebrow as Itachi finished, "But I'm sure you would enjoy battling whoever is with her."

The man stretched his long limbs, puzzled at his partner's behavior. "Why do you want to get involved? That's unusual of you."

Itachi turned to the direction of where he sensed her. His voice was hard. "The woman is from the leaf. It is possible she might know something about the nine-tails jinchuriki."

Kisame blinked in surprise. "Woman" and "leaf" meant Itachi must have known her a long time ago, back when he was a shinobi of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Kisame was slightly annoyed at the Uchiha's sudden caring demeanor. His own insecurities were brought forth as he asked, "Oi, is this some old lover of yours?"

Itachi didn't look at him. His thoughts flickered to the one who caused his Mangeyko Sharingan to appear. Hurt flooded his chest, but Itachi was a professional at concealing his emotions and he simply suggested, "Shall we get a move on?"


	25. Stay Awake

Chiisai’s eyes shot open and she struggled to breathe. Hitoshi had his hand around her throat and his eyes were blazing in rage. She tried to claw at his throat, to dig into his skin, but she couldn’t feel her hands or arms. The new wave of energy inside her sharpened her mind, and she realized she couldn’t feel her feet either. But her torso pulsed with pain, and her eye widened at the realization that she had no idea where this energy had come from, or why Hitoshi had her by the neck.

His grip on her wavered as he asked, "What the hell are you?"

He staggered and released her. Chiisai now lay in a crumpled heap, torn between the need for oxygen and the desire to soothe the piercing ache inside her. She didn't bother trying to get up or move. The only two things in her life, the only things she could feel, were cold and pain.

His fingers twitched by his sides as he towered over her. "That old bastard knew you'd do this, didn't he? You're just a bomb waiting to explode."

There was only cold and pain.

"I see why he wants you out of the way, why he didn't bother doing it himself. You're a monstrosity, a danger to anyone you come in contact with. Danzo just wanted to kill two birds with one stone." With a tsk, Hitoshi finished, "And how I wanted to break you."

There was only cold and pain. Cold and pain and monstrosity-

Her chakra was already fading. Chiisai gritted her teeth and forced out, "Won't. Break. Me."

He gritted his teeth and replied, "I suppose you’re right. Ha, you are right, aren't you?" His smile faded. "I can't break you, which means you won't be of any use to my village or me." He grabbed Chiisai by the hair and lifted her up so that they were face to face. "Someone that can enter dreams, create nightmares and alter minds, sucking the life out of people- a monster like you has no place in this world."

Numbness spread up her body. Her chapped lips cracked as she whispered, “Monster...You.”

His eyes widened. He snatched a kunai up and forced her head back. With her throat exposed, he brought the weapon up and said, "Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Hitoshi stared down at the hand protruding from his chest. The electricity danced like flames before dying out. Blood dribbled out of his mouth, his body going limp. So he had lost. That old bastard Danzo had tricked him by taking advantage of his sadistic tendencies. Heh, but at least he did have some fun with the girl in the end. She'd be joining him soon too, and Hatake would be there to see. Maybe he had won in the end.

Kakashi flung Hitoshi's body aside and caught her as she collapsed. "Chiisai, Chiisai! What did he do…"

Cold and pain and a voice that both pleaded her name and shook with anger. So much anguish in that one voice.

Kakashi brushed her hair away from her face, his fingers shaking with desperation. "Dammit, Chiisai. Stay awake. Stay awake!"

No, she didn't want to breathe. The darkness was so welcoming, but the voice- it reminded her of someone, that there was a person worth breathing for. She made a promise, right? She already decided not to leave him. That's why she was at the cemetery in the first place. Obito and Rin would get mad if she left him now, even if this was a dream.

She lifted her eyes to a green vest, dark fabric, silver hair. His eye crinkled more than usual but softened on seeing her. Another feeling crept inside her and for a moment there was no pain. With a raspy inhale, she whispered, "Not. Monster.”

He released a long exhale and pulled her closer, fearing she might disappear. Having a loved one kidnapped and being plagued by not knowing what was happening to her…And the emotions he felt twisting its way inside him…he thought, Obito, after all this time I think I'm finally beginning to understand you.

Chiisai didn't care if this person was a figment of her imagination or not. Maybe her mind was trying to get her to hold on a bit more, to remind her of the promise she made. But she wanted someone like him with her, someone she could tell. "Ka…"

His body curled around hers and shielded her body from the bitter air. He whispered, "Shh, save your energy. It's alright now."

She wanted to scream, to tell him the darkness was stealing her away. Not even her mind was able to protect her now. How could it? Where was she again? Shouldn't it be cold? 

Kakashi moved the rest of her into his lap. He gripped a kunai and begun to shred away the rope binding her hands and feet. The rings of color around them contrasted the rest of her. Kakashi glanced over her and assessed the rest of her wounds. His rage boiled again at the sight of what Hitoshi had done and the possibilities of it. She was practically naked in the snow-covered forest, and her limbs were starting to turn blue. 

But something beyond that fretted him. Her body was like ice, and she no longer shivered.

Genma and Pakkun came into view. The ninja crouched down with a bundle of fur in his arms. He took in a sharp inhale at the sight of her. "She needs a medic." The bundle of fur lifted her head and gasped. The cat limped closer to the woman, her golden eyes taking in the situation. "Chiisai…" Tomo's ears flexed as she observed, "Her breathing is too shallow."

Kakashi was already shrugging off his pack and shredding his vest. Cursing under his breath, he replied, "She has hypothermia." With uniform shirt in hand, Kakashi began the task of dressing her. He moved her arm up, causing her to release a strangled groan. His eye widened and he laid her limb back down.

It was clear her arm wasn't broken, but the constriction of upper body movement and her strained breathing meant at least her ribs were broken. The whole area was inflamed and discolored. If any of those fractured bones steered near her vital organs, it could kill her.

Switching tactics, the jonin folded the shirt and wrapped it around her diaphragm to restrict movement. He slid his gloves on each of her bluish hands and placed his vest around her shoulders. Genma passed over his headband and scarf without hesitation.

He received no tension from Chiisai as his hand rested under her head. Her eyes closed while he slipped Genma's headband on. Sensing trouble, Pakkun nudged Chiisai's cheek before pawing her shoulder. "Kakashi, she's unconscious."

The jonin's fingers went to her pulse. He pressed harder and tried to find the beat of her heart. It was almost too slow for him to catch. After thirty seconds, he said, "It's not a steady rhythm."

Tomo pressed her paws into Chiisai's shoulder. Her composure dissolved and she shouted, "Then do chest compressions!"

"No," Kakashi replied. "She has broken ribs. If we do that it could puncture her heart or lungs." He ran a hand through his hair and tried to stop the rising panic inside. Time was running out.

Genma bit down on his senbon as his ears caught her shortened breaths. "We might have to take that chance."

Kakashi's hands gripped onto Chiisai, her skin cold underneath his. Chest compressions were a last resort, but if they didn't think of something else, she would die in his arms. She'd be gone, and he'd never get the chance to tell her how he felt.

He squeezed his eyes shut and forced down the thoughts. He needed to clear his mind and think. Hypothermia…Her unconsciousness came from not enough oxygen, which resulted from her heart failing to pump blood. And the heart regulated through electrical pulses.

The pale-haired ninja made the hand signs, activating his chidori. He pressed it to her chest, jolting her body. The chidori flickered out and he felt for her heartbeat again. "Dammit, come on." With another curse he reactivated the jutsu and pressed his white chakra to her once more. She shuddered under the electricity as he said, "You're not leaving me like this- I won't let you!" Her body continued to convulse in his arms, the electricity causing her to glow like a star in the night. This had to work. This had to-

"Kakashi, that's too much!" Genma seized his shoulder. "It's going to kill her!"

The jutsu sputtered and died. His breath came out heavy as he stared down at her. The lightning had caused slivers of burns to decorate her body like roots from a tree. He made this happen, but if this was the consequence of saving her then so be it. Kakashi brought his fingers to her carotid. He pushed down, searching for any sign of life.

When he didn't feel anything, Kakashi placed a hand on her forehead to tilt her head back. With all that had happened in his life, fate would see to it that she'd die by his chidori. No, he couldn't think like that, not yet. He pinched her nose and lifted her chin as he began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. There was still hope- he just had to have faith. Kakashi watched her chest rise before he forced air into her again.

Nothing.

This couldn't be happening. This was a dream, a nightmare. Chiisai would wake him out of it any minute now. This couldn't be real.

Pakkun shook his head and whispered, "Kakashi."

"One more time." The jonin placed his lips on top of hers and repeated the process. They had come too far for this to happen. He had to tell her. He had to tell-

"You've done everything you can," Genma whispered.

"No," Kakashi replied. "Just let me try again!" He pushed air into her lungs, refusing to give up. After everything that happened, this would be how it ended- all in disaster, with it all falling apart?

Genma dragged himself to his feet. "It's over." He turned away as Tomo curled into a ball beside Chiisai. Pakkun gazed up at his friend before releasing a whimper.

Kakashi closed his eye. His fist rammed into the ground, the sound echoing throughout the forest. Slowly, he gathered Chiisai into his arms. His fingers tangled in her hair as he bit back the emptiness inside, at the pain of having his heart ripped in two. The feeling was all too familiar to him. If only he could curse her for the emotions spiraling through him. He wanted to hate her, so that at least the hate would drown out the hurt that would stay with him forever. The people in his life just added on to the grief inside. Just like his father, Obito, Rin, and Minato Sensei.

"Now you've abandoned me too," he said raggedly. He clutched her as he swallowed the lump building in his throat. Burying his face into her shoulder, he whispered, "I shouldn't have waited to tell you. I love you, and now you're gone."

Air skimmed the nape of his neck.

"Love…too."

His eye flew open, his heart stopping at the noise. She continued to lay limp in his arms, but her voice, though raspy and breathless, had been heard. Slowly, Kakashi pulled back.

She muttered, "Not…dead."

He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, nose, felt her chest barely rise and fall, her heart beating at a steady pace. Eight breaths a minute, but it was enough. His hands trembled as he brushed her hair away. He whispered, "Why do you have to scare me all the time?"

Pakkun wagged his tail, his tongue assaulting Chiisai's hand. "Holy hell," Genma muttered. He rubbed his eyes, gaped at her, and rubbed his eyes again as Tomo nuzzled the woman's arm. He shook his head though a smile was already forming.

Chiisai struggled to open her eyes all the way. There was cold and pain and Kakashi holding her in his arms. She whispered, "Look…good…mesh."

He kissed her again. "I thought you were gone. I thought you died." He couldn't stop himself from kissing her face and checking her pulse to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

She replied hoarsely, "I cleaned." The corner of her lip twitched as she tried to smirk. "I don'…shelve books…in order…on…purpose. I like…annoying…you."

"And scaring the hell out of me," he added. He brought his face to hers, his masked lips brushing across her chilled ones. God, he thought he killed her, that his chidori had taken another victim. No, for once, it had saved a life.

"Ha," she snorted, "It's 'cause…" Her eyes sought his as she choked out, "I…love you."

His hands cupped her face as his forehead rested against hers. His voice softened to say, "I know." He stroked her cheek, the skin to skin contact dulling the anxiety thrumming inside him. Swallowing, he finished, "But you can't say that and then leave me. Just stay awake."

One drop of warmth hit her face before sliding down her cheek. Chiisai stared up to see tears in his eye. If only she could move and wipe those tears away. "I…sorry-"

"Remember what I said about apologizing?" His lips grazed over hers as he watched her blink up at him. He continued to caress her face, her skin like ice beneath his fingers. The jonin let out a sigh and confessed, "I've been in love with you for quite some time I'm afraid."

Her eyes brightened at his words. He smiled, causing her to let out a laugh from the emotions bursting inside. But the expansion of her lungs caused pain to erupt within. Her laughter-turned-cry was enough to pull Kakashi out of the moment. This wasn't the time for confessions, though he didn't deny how much it felt needed. But she had finally said it and accepted it. If it weren't for everything happening right now…He had to make sure she stayed alive long enough for them to say it over and over.

"Here, hold on." Kakashi fastened the bandana on her head and grabbed the clothes Genma left beside them. He dressed the rest of her body as gently as he could before snapping the vest into place. He couldn't think about what she went through either, of what Hitoshi did to her. The main thing was that they had made it. Hitoshi was dead and Chiisai was alive. She was alive and loved him.

Now they needed to get back.

Tomo perked her ears. "Kakashi," she said, "I hear two people approaching."

Pakkun lifted his nose to the air and added, "One smells like fish and the other-" His eyes widened. "I've smelled him before."

Genma took out a kunai. Kakashi pulled the scarf around Chiisai's neck and wrapped her in Gemna’s shirt. She grunted at the movement as she attempted to process the new information. It turned out she didn't have to, because the time she realized who they were talking about they were already there.

"Looks like we're late to the party."

The ninjas tensed. All three leaf citizens lifted their heads to see two cloaked figures on the branch above them. Chiisai’s eyes widened at the sight of her old friend. The darkness lurking behind that Sharingan was unrecognizable.

Itachi's eyes fixed onto Chiisai as he said to Kisame, "We take the girl. Stop anyone who stands in our way."

Kakashi tightened his grip on her, his eye narrowing up at the Uchiha. The Akatsuki were already made up of powerful shinobi, but if they got their hands on Chiisai, it would all be over.

"You…asshole."

All four men paused. Both Kisame and Genma glanced from the woman to the Uchiha, their eyebrows raised in curiosity.

Genma muttered, "Did she just call Uchiha Itachi an asshole?" If they made it out of here alive, he would love to hear the story behind that.

"Ha, and here I thought you were a lady's man," Kisame chuckled to his partner.

Itachi didn't reply. His eye trained on the woman and the jonin holding her. He would have to take Kakashi down to get to Chiisai, but by the looks of it the jonin would die before he would let them have her. Of course, that could easily be arranged, but Chiisai wouldn't be pleased by it.

The Akatsuki members landed on the ground, the thin layer of snow crunching against their shoes as they faced the ninjas. "She looks about dead," Kisame grumbled. "You still want her?"

"It will be easier to extract information."

"Kakashi," Genma said, "I assume you'll take red eyes and I'll take shark boy. Correct?"

"Hai," he nodded, "Asuma and Kurenai were outmatched when they fought them, and I'm afraid we might be in the same predicament." Kakashi had already used his chidori multiple times in the expanse of thirty minutes, leaving little chakra left for his Sharingan. 

"Oi, did you just call me shark boy?" Kisame pulled out his sword and said, "I can't wait to shred you to pieces!" Woman forgotten (not that he cared anyway), the missing-nin was upon his opponent in an instant, engaging Genma in battle.

As the fight began on that end, a quieter atmosphere settled over the others. Kakashi crouched and lay Chiisai out of the way. "Pakkun, Tomo, make sure one of you stays with her." The two animals nodded. He redirected his attention back to Chiisai and said, "Just focus on staying awake for me, okay?"

"You know what must be done."

Kakashi eye shot to Itachi, or rather, close to him. But the Uchiha didn't have his sight on him. No, his direction was all set toward Chiisai.

"Your rescuers are mentally and physically exhausted. How long do you think they will last facing us? If you don't want them to die, I suggest you put an end to this."

He was right of course; he always was. Chiisai mumbled, "Farm Boy."

"Chiisai," Kakashi warned, "don't." He wasn't sure how her body would respond if she went into the dream world. If she left her body she might not have one to come back to. "Itachi isn't your friend, he's a murderer. We can't let them have you."

It was difficult for her to think, but she knew she needed to talk to Itachi, and this was going to be the only chance she got. Itachi had the answers she wanted. But what would happen to her body once her willpower drifted to the dream world?

Itachi materialized behind Kakashi. The jonin caught the Uchiha's arm and forced him back. His hand went to his headband as his pushed it up, revealing the Sharingan. In a flash, Itachi was on him again. Sparks flew off their kunais as they fought, their movements like flashes of lightning.

Kakashi dodged several kicks from the Uchiha and landed on the side of the tree. His eye narrowed at the Uchiha's shoulders, knowing why Itachi was drawing the battle out. Itachi relied on Chiisai to finish the fight and he was only buying her time. And with him not using his Sharingan to put the ninja under a genjutsu, then he must be saving it for her.

Shurikens flew towards him, and clangs echoed as he deflected them with his kunai. The Akatsuki member rushed at him, his footsteps falling quick on the bark. Kakashi blocked the punch with his hand, his bones vibrating from the impact. He brought his knee up to the Uchiha's stomach but only hit air. Itachi was already above him. Dropping the kunai, Kakashi crossed his forearms and placed them over his head as the Uchiha's foot rammed into him. His heels grinded against the tree, but Kakashi held his ground. Hatake's hands curled around Itachi's shoe before flinging his opponent in the air.

Kakashi suddenly appeared above him, prepared to lay a gut-wrenching punch. But Itachi was ready. Shurikens sat in between his fingers on each of his hands. With one last look at his opponent, Itachi turned and released them.

His eye widened as he watched the shurikens slice through the air, aiming for Chiisai. But Kisame had Genma down, and Pakkun was coming to his aid. Tomo wouldn't be able to drag Chiisai away or deflect all of those with her injury, though she was already steeling herself for the collision.

Using the flicker technique, Kakashi landed in front of Chiisai. He braced his hands on the tree as he loomed over her. The metal ripped through his mesh shirt and sunk into his back. His body flinched at each blow received, the sound posing a definite smack. Their eyes locked in those several seconds, hers widening from shock and his narrowing with pain.

"Just stay awake for me," Kakashi said. On seeing her reaction, he smiled and reassured her, "I've been through worse, Small Tiger."

Chiisai let out a cry as blood erupted from his throat. The tip of a kunai protruded from his neck as Kakashi's eye bulged out of its socket.

She tried to move, to get to him. Chiisai managed to say his name right before his body disappeared. In its stead was a block of wood with a kunai jammed through it. It landed beside her.

She mentally uttered a curse from the fear he instilled in her. Kakashi and Itachi engaged in battle once more, leaving her alone with Tomo. The clashes of bodies and weapons rang throughout the forest, piercing her eardrums.

Chiisai knew Kakashi would protect her with his life. And what Itachi told her spoke true then- someone would die unless she put an end to it. Kakashi had come all this way to save her, and if he were to die, she wouldn't be able to handle that. No, she couldn't bear the thought of him dying to protect her like this, not when she had some power left. Chiisai would protect him too, and she would do it in the only way she knew how; even if it meant leaving her body for good.

So Chiisai took a small breath, closed her eyes, and gave in.


	26. No Turning Back

Genma was the first to fall.

Kisame nudged the ninja with his foot. "Hey," he barked, "did you just die on me?" The Akatsuki member gripped his sword and paused. His eyebrows furrowed, and Samehada faltered in his hands. The sword hit the snow with a yelp before Kisame let out a groan. Darkness closed in, and before he knew it, he too fell.

Kakashi could already feel her digging into his mind. Itachi stood in front of him but remained silent. 

Kakashi turned to see Chiisai with eyes closed. Tomo was over her, her claws sinking into her skin. He staggered towards the body, but he was already losing control.

“I'm not letting you die for me,” Chiisai whispered in his mind.

Kakashi wanted to shake sense into her. “You're playing right into his hands!”

There was a pause before she said, “This is the only chance I'll get for Itachi to unseal my memories.” 

“It’s a trap, Chiisai. Don’t do this!” Kakashi yelled inside his head. Itachi had wanted Chiisai to see Kakashi get hurt because of her. After all of this, she was going to leave him.

“I don't plan on dying any more today. I’ll see you soon.”

Her chakra caressed the edges of his mind. She shut it down, detaching his consciousness from his body. Warmth spread through his limbs, and his knees gave way before he drifted into the blackness. Somehow, he felt her lips grazing his as if she were right in front of him. The last thing he heard was her voice against his ear.

“I love you. Remember that, okay?”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"We don't have much time."

"Look, I'm not letting them freeze to death," Kisame shot back. He retrieved a sleeping bag left over in a pack and placed it on the unconscious ninjas. His fingers brushed Kakashi's hair back, noting it was a shade darker than the snow. Kisame whispered, "I'm sorry, Farm Boy." He leaned forward to kiss-

"Chiisai."

"Fine." He added under his breath, "Asshole." He stood and trudged toward his comrade. Itachi let out a sigh as Kisame approached him. The blue-hued ninja glanced at the body in his Itachi's arms. "Gods," he groaned, "am I already dead?"

"There's a cave nearby that will shield you from the cold. You should return to your body once we're there."

"Let's go then." With the new powerful physique, Chiisai-turned-Kisame followed Itachi. "And I'm still mad at you," he mumbled.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Two members of Hatake's team returned with the injured. The Hokage is sending them back with a medic-nin."

Danzo lifted his eyes to see the ANBU bowed in front of him. "What of Fu?"

With head down, he replied, "His report states that Hitoshi is dead, as you assumed. But there's something else." There was a hesitation before finishing, "Two members of the Akatsuki have gotten involved."

His one eye widened. "What?"

"Uchiha Itachi and Hoshigaki Kisame. There was a battle. The ninjas started to collapse in the snow, all except Itachi. He put a genjutsu on the ninken and ninneko, and Kisame then woke up. They now have Chiisai."

Danzo forced his body to relax. This wasn't good news at all. "Are the leaf ninjas still alive?"

"Yes."

"Come directly to me when Fu reports again. You are dismissed."

The masked ninja nodded before flickering out. Danzo leaned back in his chair and closed his eye. He had sent one of his best agents out to make sure Hitoshi wouldn't make it back to Earth Country. But this new turn of events could prove disastrous for everyone.

It was clear now that Itachi knew all about Chiisai. All those years ago of seeing those two together…Now that Danzo thought about it, her powers were similar to that of the Sharingan. The dream world in its own sense could pose as a genjutsu. And altering the mindsets of its victims, Chiisai's abilities reflected that of the most powerful Mangeyko Sharingan- the Kotoamatsukami.

All Danzo needed was to get her on his side. With her under his wing, he could become Hokage. After all this was over, if she made it back alive, then Danzo would finally set his plan in motion.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Chiisai."

She knew the voice. Her body seemed to awaken at the sound as well, because the numbness faded. Being in Kisame's body had her forgetting how bad of shape hers was. Pain resonated within her, and where there wasn't pain there was frigid cold. But hey, at least she was still alive and breathing.

For now.

"Ita…"

He wrapped his cloak tighter around her and pulled her to him, attempting to keep her warm. He rested his chin on the top of her head as his hand rubbed her back. It had taken her three minutes for her to wake up and during that time he thought she was gone. "You've gotten yourself in quite a predicament."

He let out a short exhale when she remained silent. Gently, he pulled away and placed his fingers under her chin, tilting her head up to his. Red found black, and he slipped inside her mind. Chiisai's pain from reality peeled away while under Itachi's Sharingan. The two stood five meters apart in the grey void, their eyes studying each other.

Itachi was the first to speak. "We must address something else I'm afraid. From what you told me earlier, it seems you're going to have to erase the stone ambassador's memories before he makes it back to Iwagakure."

She rubbed her forehead, trying to make sense of the person in front of her. "You want me to do that right now?"

"Unless you want a war, then yes," he said simply. "You should have access to the dream world, since we are currently inside your mind."

"It appears there’s someone else who knew more about my abilities than I did," she said. Chiisai lifted her hand and gathered her chakra. Concentrating her thoughts, Chiisai summoned a portal into the dream world. Chiisai added, "I guess that sort of thing happens when your friend decides to erase your memories."

Itachi let out a sigh as he followed her. Her behavior hadn't changed in all their years apart. He glanced at the dream tree. Taking a deep breath, Chiisai placed her hands into it, letting her chakra surge forth. More minds appeared before them, their surfaces blank.

"You seem to remember more than I thought you would," he regarded.

"I learned this from watching my father," she replied. "I'm surprised you didn't notice him when you sealed me. Twice."

Itachi gazed up at the tree, ignoring her accusation. "In truth, I did notice something peculiar. Your chakra was darker, which I assumed to be the result of all the nightmares you had absorbed. Kuroi blended into your chakra too well for me to have seen him. Of course, I also thought he was dead, so there was no reason to look for him either."

She focused on Dai's mind, remembering the signature he gave off while she was searching for Kakashi's two weeks ago. "Too bad the seal didn't work as well as you thought it would," she grumbled.

"I understand your anger, but you must understand that I had to do it-"

She opened her eyes. "To protect me? To protect the village? Are those the only excuses you can come up with?" She forced Dai's mind in front of her, her anger fueling her chakra. "Because I'm getting sick and tired of hearing it. Every time I see you I want to hug you then slap you." Her fist rammed into the door to the ambassador's mind, breaking it with one punch. She forced her way in, not bothering to wait on Itachi. Chiisai slammed the palms of her hands down into his mind, pushing up the scrolls of memories and information from the past week. Itachi observed at a distance, letting her work in silence as she removed the memories of herself.

With a deep inhale, the woman focused on a new story to replace the previous. Decision made, she channeled her chakra into the parchment, allowing the new words to form. Now Dai would believe that there was no "weapon" and that his bodyguard had foolishly run off to prove him wrong. A bit of truth would strengthen the lie.

Without so much as a glance at Itachi, she exited the ambassador's mind and stepped back into hers. Itachi followed suit before asking, "You seem rather upset."

Fists clenched, Chiisai faced him and let out the barrage of feelings. "Why were you upset that I knew you sealed my memories? Why didn't you help me instead of forcing me out with your damn Sharingan?" She couldn't take the sight of him, on wanting to sit down with him and be like old times. But the old times were just that- dead and gone.

"Nothing could be done then," he replied. "We were in the dream world, and I didn't want to upset you any more than I had to." Itachi paused, refraining himself from touching her and instead looked her in the eyes. "But things have changed. I need to seal you again. And now that you're here…"

She stepped back, her voice rising as she replied, "No, you have to break the seal over my mind. I can't live like this." Shaking her head, she continued, "I need to know what you stole from me."

His eyebrows creased with unease. "I don't want to burden you with the actions you shouldn't have done in the first place. And I don't want you to go through the same pain as before."

"I'll be in pain no matter what. But you took something that keeps trying to break free." Chiisai took a deep breath and relaxed her posture. She whispered, "I get flashbacks, and I know it’s about someone I cared about…Someone I must have loved."

He didn't expose any emotion as he watched her. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen. He only wanted her to be free from her past, which was a luxury that he could never have. But that seal he placed on her…It was a powerful one and it shouldn't have faltered like his. Softly, he said, "You love like a Uchiha, Chiisai. Though you are not of my clan, I feared you might fall into hatred. Please understand my actions. I took away the memories because it was destroying you. Your love was destroying you."

She raked a hand through her hair before shaking her head. Tears threatened to spill. "Did you not realize that I've never really loved anyone in my entire life up until recently, that I've never had an intimate relationship? For years I thought I didn't deserve any kind of love, that I was worthless, that no one could ever love me because of what I was, what I am." Her eyes sought his, wanting him to see all the pain within her. "Why would you do that to me?"

Despair took hold of him and he closed his eyes. "Your emotions seeped into everyone's dreams. You unconsciously influenced everyone without realizing it." Their eyes found each other once more as he said with assurance, "He entrusted me with protecting you, even if it meant erasing the very thought of love from your life."

Chiisai finally closed the distance between them. "I don't care what the Third said. Unseal me right now."

His eyes widened. "Chiisai, that's not-"

The tears finally fell as her fingers sunk into his wrists. She hung her head, her hair falling over her eyes. "Do you know how much it hurts to have a piece of yourself missing?"

His lips pressed to her hair, wishing to stop this emotional pain inside her. "You'll see other things, memories from your life that will burden you. And there are sins equal to mine."

"I don't care." She laid a fist to his chest, one that was empty of strength. She should be furious with him, hate him for what all he had done. But being able to touch him only filled her with sadness she couldn't quite understand.

Itachi placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing space between them. He couldn't allow himself to be swayed by her. His voice hardened as he said, "Do you want to put the village at risk at the expense of knowing your memories? I can't allow you to harm the Leaf."

The greyness around them darkened into red. Eyebrows furrowed, she retaliated, "And you don't think I care about the village? You don't think I care about the people whose dreams I see each night, of a girl who lost her mother, or a man who worries about not coming home to his family? Don't you dare suggest that, Itachi."

This was becoming more difficult with each passing minute. "What do you think will happen once you remember?"

"I'll be able to control my powers. That's why I wanted to find you, but you just want to seal me." She couldn't afford to let this sadness get in the way of what she needed. Eyes trained on him, she finished, "And I can't let that happen."

She was stubborn as ever. Itachi gazed down at her and replied, "Do your really believe you'll be able to control your abilities? Do you have the psychological capacity to maintain self-control in the dream world after knowing everything?"

He was saying the opposite of what she was thinking. "I can't control anything now because I can't remember! But if you just let me-"

Itachi shook his head and replied, "Your power needs to be resealed. Releasing your memories would drive you mad and I don't want to see the same thing happen to you again. It will consume you and everyone with it."

"You shouldn't be the one to decide," she spat. "It's my memories, my abilities. With everything that's happened, I think I'll handle it." Shit, after her powers breaking free, fighting her father, getting into the whole mess of a relationship with Kakashi…What couldn't she handle?

Itachi gazed down at her, regretting what was about to happen. "It has to be done, Chiisai."

She stepped back, her eyes wide as she said, "Don't you come near me." This had been a mistake. She thought he would help her, but in the end all he wanted was…

"I'm sorry."

He latched onto her arms. His Sharingan peered into her eyes, forcing her to remain still. But her chakra reacted to her mental command, and it summoned a portal right below their feet. The two fell through. He broke eye contact, giving Chiisai a chance to escape by releasing a gust of air from her lips.

He landed on his feet. Itachi straightened and pleaded, "Don't make this difficult."

Vines wrapped around him, anchoring his feet to the ground. Sighing, Itachi stepped through the plants and said, "You know it won't work on me."

Chiisai shook her head, her eyes glowing with determination. "I'm not letting you reseal me." Shurikens materialized and aimed their way at him. They spiraled into him, slicing into his muscles as he continued forward. Itachi's face remained expressionless while saying, "Have you forgotten our sparring sessions we used to have in the dream world? I don't want to waste chakra by taking you to the Nightmare Realm, but I will be forced to if you keep this up."

He was right. Unless she used her chakra directly, he would easily discard anything her mind created. But maybe if she fought another way… "Who did you take away from me, Itachi? Who is it that you so desperately want to keep me from?" Chiisai focused her mind and summoned her lost memories up, the door to it bound and locked. White chakra radiated it from it, stopping Itachi dead in his tracks.

He gazed up at the massive door. "I see." His eyes narrowed at the chakra glowing around it. Threat forgotten, the Uchiha asked, "How long have you been having flashbacks?"

She paused, wondering if he was trying to distract her. "Since I defeated my father…After I started getting seizures. Why are you changing the subject?"

Itachi studied the blocked entrance before saying, "That chakra around it isn't my doing. Your subconscious must have known there was something missing from the beginning. What happens when you get near it?"

The glowing emanating from her eyes lessened. "Depends," she replied with suspicion. "If I approach it from reality it throws me into the dream world, but if I touch it from the dream world it throws me back into reality." What the hell was Itachi trying to get at?

"Your unnatural chakra always amazes me," he sighed. "It's trying to eat away at the seal, and it's working. That's why you've been getting flashbacks. It protects your mind from intruders as well- that's why no one can get near it." He frowned and muttered, "I wonder if that's how the other seal weakened."

So her chakra was out of her control again and eating away at the seal…Which caused the flashbacks. She groaned, "So it seems I'll never have control of my chakra. Fantastic."

"No, it's obeying your greatest desire hidden within your heart. It's no wonder you haven't been able to fully use your powers." He pointed up at the white chakra. "Most of your energy is channeled into breaking this seal because deep down you ache for remembering."

"What are you saying?"

"Even if I did reseal you, it would only be a temporary fix. Your chakra, though over some years, would dissolve any seal I put you under." He closed his eyes while processing the new information. "This changes things."

He took a step closer, causing her to take a step back. "What are you planning to do?"

Itachi smiled. "Any plan I could come up with will most likely be eaten by your chakra."

Then there was only one option left for her. "She looked him in the eye and stated, "Unseal my memories. See what happens. If I can take it and stay sane, then everything's okay. But if my chakra lashes out, or if I go mad, everything ends in disaster…correct?"

He had an idea to where this was heading. "Yes."

There was a pause before she gathered enough courage. Chiisai slowly said, "If I truly become a danger to the village…" She swallowed and finished, “Then kill me."

His eyes widened briefly. Of course she would say something like that. Itachi took a breath before a hint of a smile showed on his face. "You must be very confident in that you will come through. Or you must really take pleasure in hurting me."

A face appeared in her mind, and she smiled, "I have someone to live for now. I have to survive to make up for all the things I've put him through."

His eyes softened, reminding her of the Itachi she used to know. "You must cling to that once you remember. Don't let your past take away from what you have presently. Can you promise me that?"

"What I'll see…It won't be pleasant, will it?"

"Most of it is pleasant- that is what makes it the most heartbreaking." His smile faded as he said, "However, I am afraid it ends in tragedy."

Chiisai took a step closer to him. "Let's get this over with."

"We should return to your mind first. I do not wish to for you to affect the dream world."

Probably a good idea. Chiisai summoned up the portal and headed back to her mind. She and Itachi now stood in front of the door to her locked memories. Slowly, he explained, "There is not a doubt in my mind that your chakra will lash out once the memories are unlocked. I should be able to control it for a short while with my Sharingan. You must be able to regain control once you remember."

She glanced up at the massive wall of chakra. Her uneasiness began to settle within her. There would be no going back after this. "Do you think I can handle it?"

"I trusted you when your first seal broke, and now I will trust you with this." He smiled down, "I would rather not want to kill you."

She snorted at his lightheartedness. In response, she tugged on his ponytail and replied, "That's good to know."

The chakra thrummed as Itachi's hand rose to it. He lingered for a moment. With eyes closed, he whispered, "Chiisai, I am sorry."

"For what?"

Not meeting her eyes, he said, "You shall see soon enough."

Itachi thrust his hand into the door to her mind. Her chakra parted on sensing him, on knowing the sealer finally returned. His palm rammed into the doorway as his hand glowed red. Itachi activated his Sharingan, causing the locks to heave with a metallic groan. They opened, releasing a THUNK as each one gave way. Her white chakra fled into the cracks and headed straight for what it had been desperately trying to get to. The door dissolved, and her mind exploded in white light.

The memories were now free. Their streams of color headed straight for Chiisai. Pain burst open as the memories pierced her, finally returning to where it belonged.

And there, convulsing on the floor of her own mind, screaming in agony, she remembered.


	27. Memories Part 1

Love was her father beating her as punishment instead of beating her mother. Love was her mother drunkenly stitching Chiisai's wounds up instead of soberly vocalizing her hopes that she bleed to death.

So Chiisai inevitably concluded that love must be a myth.

And once she fancied the notion of falling in love, Chiisai couldn't help but laugh at the hypocrisy of it. If it was such a joyous thing, why was it called "falling" in love? Falling hurt. Falling left you on the ground, sometimes a little bloodied and bruised, sometimes leaving you confused and cursing yourself for letting it happen. If such a thing as falling in love were possible, then it must hurt like hell.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Flashback IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Chiisai? So she's why you're never around, Itachi."

"Nii-chan! Why is she sleeping?"

Her eyes flickered open. Three blurry circles were above her. No, these were faces. The grogginess faded, and the last memory crashed into her mind. What had she said- what had she clearly stated? But no, the Uchiha had to see her attempts at ninjutsu.

Strong hands pressed into her back and helped her into a sitting position. Itachi had her leaning against him as he asked, "Are you alright?"

“Of course I am.” Chiisai pushed herself to her feet. But her body hadn't adjusted and after a few steps her knees gave way. Colors blurred, and she soon found herself in the arms of another ninja- unkept hair, shinobi headband, dark eyes, a broad nose. He gently eased her back down and said, "She might need to go to the hospital."

Another head popped into view, one that was bright eyed and full of life. The boy braced his hands on his knees and said, "Sorry my big brother hurt you. He's really strong!"

"Hmph."

The ninja holding Chiisai stared down at her. He gave a smile, but she looked away as his dreams hit her. The warmth of his skin radiated through the fabric of her shirt, and for a brief moment she thought how nice it felt-

Chiisai forced herself up and out of his arms, thereby ramming her face into his. They both let out a grunt as they fell backwards.

The little boy frowned at the ninja and said, "You have really bad reflexes for a jonin, Shisui. No wonder my brother always beats you!"

Shisui sat up and rubbed his head. "I was distracted." He glanced over at Chiisai and quickly scrambled over to her. "Crap, your nose is bleeding! Let me-"

She pushed him away and she sat up. Stupid ninja should have easily seen her coming with him staring at her like that. "I'm fine." Wiping the blood off with her sleeve, she muttered, "I think I've had enough Uchiha's for today."

"Nii-chan! We're going to be late for dinner! Mom's cooking your favorite, remember?" Sasuke tugged on his brother's pants. Itachi leaned down so Sasuke could whisper (rather loudly), "Are you dating that lady?"

His eyes widened, and everyone paused in silence.

"We're just friends," she mumbled. She didn't mention that he was her only friend, the only one who understood her, and only one of the two people who knew about her powers. Hopefully it would stay that way.

"Chiisai."

"Hmm?" Her dark eyes flickered to Itachi.

His brows creased with concern. "Let me walk you home."

Sasuke pouted, "But-"

"I'll do it," Shisui offered.

Itachi paused. He glanced back at Chiisai in question. Of course, she didn't want anyone to walk her home, but like always Itachi worried about her and her growing powers, especially now with the seizures. Chiisai was more comfortable with Itachi though, but seeing Sasuke full of hope…Dammit. She nodded to the Uchiha, already regretting her decision.

"Alright." With a smile, he added, "I guess this is the perfect time to work on your social skills." He chuckled at her glare, glanced at Shisui, and then took his brother's hand. "Come along, Sasuke."

The boy grinned as he followed his brother out. After one last glance, he yelled, "Bye Shisui! Bye lady!"

“Bye.” She picked up her book bag and headed out the training ground, hoping he wouldn't follow. But, much to her disappointment, his cheerful steps were right with hers. She quickened her pace, but with her short legs it was basically his normal stride.

She caught Shisui staring at her again and he quickly focused back to the road. Sheesh. Itachi had held his friend in such high regards when he talked about him, but this guy…Was this really Shisui of the Body Flicker? He couldn't be an elite ninja.

"So," he shoved his hands in his pockets, "how long have you been with Itachi? It's quite suspicious of him to have never mentioned you before."

"We're not together, alright?"

"That's a relief," Shisui muttered.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing."

The street lights were turning on. Dammit, it was already dark. "Look," she pointed, "my apartment is right up there- see, the only one with the lights off? So you can leave."

He gazed up at the dark apartment. "You sure you'll be alright? What was Itachi trying to do to you anyway?"

"Ninjutsu. I can't do it." Surely if she told him he'd leave.

His eyes flickered back to Chiisai. "Something wrong with your chakra?"

Chiisai massaged her forehead and muttered, "Can you stop bothering me?" This guy was nothing like Itachi. Itachi was patient and didn't pry. Plus, he was okay with silence, unlike this seemingly loudmouthed ninja. The only thing she liked about Shisui right now were his dreams.

"You're chakra…I've never seen anything like it."

She blinked up at him. His Sharingan locked on to her chakra flow and his lips were slightly parted. Why hadn't she thought he'd do that? "I already know I’m a freak of nature. Can you please go?" He didn't move, so instead she turned to walk off. Why in the world had she agreed to this? Itachi better be enjoying that meal-

Shisui laid a hand on her wrist, causing her to halt. "That's not what I meant," he whispered. "It's kind of beautiful."

Chiisai couldn't bring herself to pull away from him. She stared up at Shisui, but by his tone she knew it wasn't a joke. No one had ever called anything about her beautiful, not even Itachi. Why were her insides starting to feel warm? It was like a spark inside her chest, and as she looked into his eyes it was as if the warmth came from him.

He let go of her wrist and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh…Sorry." His eyes returned to black, causing her to blink in surprise. The ninja glanced at her and said, "I feel bad for making your nose bleed. How about I come and check on you tomorrow? I'll bring breakfast or something? Will your parents be okay with that?"

She was still mentally recovering from what he called her chakra. "My parents are dead." Because of me.

A slap resounded as Shisui's hand made contact with his forehead. "I'm sorry. Crap, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." The last thing she needed was pity from a shinobi. Pulling herself back into reality, Chiisai dug for her keys and finished, "Look, thanks for walking me back. I'm good now, so you can leave." She needed to get home and shake off this weird feeling.

"Wait- let me make this up to you, since I made your nose bleed and all. I'm normally not like this. I'll be back in the morning, okay?" His face broke out in a grin as he held two fingers up. "Goodnight!"

Shisui flickered out as she replied, "Wait, I don't want you coming back!"

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Ninjas had the habit of never giving up, and Shisui was no exception. It seemed like a game to him to visit her and try to make her smile. He was at her apartment at least once a week with some type of excuse. Shisui wanted to know everything about Chiisai, and he made no effort to hide it. It was bad enough adjusting to Itachi's kindness and friendliness in the dream world, but Shisui took everything to a whole new level in reality. And when Chiisai eventually began to tolerate his presence, and then even coming to enjoy it…How the hell had he eased his way into her life like this? And how the hell could he be so nice when she treated him so harshly? It was unnatural.

When she expressed her displeasure to Itachi, well, she received no sympathy from him. He thought it was rather humorous, especially since he heard both sides. He said Shisui would be good for her, that he was someone she could trust.

She knew Itachi was right. Shisui's dreams, on a large scale, portrayed him as exactly as Itachi described. The dreams often consisted of an adventure, of some self-sacrificing theme where everything turned out alright. He apparently hated killing people. He also rarely had nightmares, which was unusual for a shinobi. Shisui's dreams were in itself a light in her dark existence, but that's not what scared her the most.

Shisui was starting to dream of her.

No matter how many times she erased the dreams his mind would retaliate with another one. She knew what it meant too, for she had seen this countless times in other people's dreams. Shisui was starting to like her, and a bit too much. What was worse, even the Hokage knew about it. Luckily, the Third told her that he had taken care of everything. After all, even her presence around Itachi was starting to draw attention, so Hiruzen reassured her that Shisui would no longer be visiting.

What she didn't know was that the Hokage had other plans in mind.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FLASHBACK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Chiisai and Itachi stood in the midst of the dream world, their eyes locked on a familiar dreamer. He gazed up at his friend's dream and said, "I've taught you all that I can. His visual prowess far exceeds my own."

"I don't want him helping me," she replied.

"I know you still fear your powers- that's why you never approach anyone in their dreams. You're afraid the same thing that happened to your parents will happen to anyone you come close to."

She didn't deny it. "I don't want to take any chances, and I don't want Shisui involved."

He smiled up at the dream where Shisui was currently battling a giant green reptile…one that looked very similar to a stuffed animal in Sasuke's room. In its claws was Chiisai. "It's a direct order from the Hokage. He also thinks further developing your powers will stop the seizures."

Crossing her arms, she muttered, "I can't stand him though. You always said that Shisui was such a level-headed guy, you even called him a genius." Chiisai shook her head and continued, "Do you know how much he rambles? And whenever he's anxious he runs his hands through his hair. It's annoying. And the flowers he gives me, sheesh, you know how cheesy flower language is? Don't get me started on his stupid grin- why are you laughing?"

Itachi placed a hand on her head and smiled, "You notice a lot considering how much you hate him."

She didn't meet his eyes and only replied with a curt "Shuttup." She should have never told him about the "weird feeling" she always got around his friend. Now all Itachi did was tease her.

The Uchiha sighed, the usual this-stubborn-woman-sigh. Finally, after a moment of contemplation, he said, "We could make a deal. You obey the Hokage's orders. If Shisui doesn't accept you, then you make this just a dream and go on your way. But, if he does accept you, you tell him how you really feel. And you let him help you."

"Psh," she rolled her eyes, "you really believe he'll accept me, don't you."

"I don't believe, I know," he smiled.

Chiisai shook her head. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I know human nature."

Itachi gave a small smile. "Then you have nothing to lose."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Shisui's reaction?

He blinked at his surroundings, which seemed to be lacking at the moment. Looking back down at Chiisai, he asked, "So this is a dream? And you're able to see dreams?" His eyes widened, and soon his face brightened to red. With a sheepish look, Shisui whispered, "Uh…I'd like to apologize for any obscene things my mind has- oh shit, you've seen my dreams!" Running a hand through his hair, the Uchiha squeezed his eyes shut and muttered, "This is embarrassing."

Chiisai observed him, and when she noted no hostility she said, "You're not upset."

He spread his arms and gestured, "Shouldn't you be upset? I mean, after all, the things I've dreamed…No wonder you hate me."

"No," she jammed a finger to his chest, "you're supposed to hate me. I've seen the most intimate parts of your life. I can get into your head, extract information, and torture you with your dreams." Her tone hardened as she finished, "I could even kill you if I felt like it."

He frowned, "You…could kill…" The creases on his face faded as realization set in. "That's what happened to your parents, isn't it?"

Chiisai took a step away from him. She had to tell him the truth, to make him realize what she was, what she was capable of. Then he would see his foolishness for liking her to begin with. After all, wasn't she just a monster?

With a deep breath, the girl confessed, "I killed my father in his dream. I took away his subconscious, and he died shortly after." Eyes fixed on the ground, she whispered, "It was different with my mother." The ground began to blur as a lump lodged in her throat. Wouldn't this pain ever go away? "I can influence anyone's mind to obey whatever I want, even if it's to commit suicide."

"Chiisai…"

And then he did something she didn't expect. His arms came around her. His hand sank into her hair as he pulled her to him. A hug was all it was. One simple hug. But it was enough to crack her stone exterior she had developed like a callous. The tears trailed freely down her face as she grabbed hold of his shirt. She didn't notice the small noises emanating from her throat, nor did she realize how tightly she clung to him.

There was something about him that made her want to give in. It was almost like with Itachi, except this…Shisui was different. What so different about him? She couldn't place it, couldn't even grasp what she was trying to envision. The only thing she could think of was a rainy day. Itachi was the umbrella and a pair of rainboots, the things that helped her tread through the muck and protect her from the rain. But Shisui was that first ray of sunlight breaking through the clouds. He was the piece of hope that forced its way into her life and refused to relent. That relentlessness sank through her pores and warmed her trodden bones, and it soon became something she thought she couldn't live without. That's what he made her feel like. It was a dream- a wonderful dream, one that she secretly craved in reality but knew she would never deserve.

Her hiccup was what woke her out of her vulnerable state. On hearing the noise, Chiisai quickly pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes. What ever emotions she previously unleashed now turned to anger. Glaring up at Shisui, she said, "Why did you do that? You're supposed to hate me." No, Shisui was too good of a person for her. He was caring and gentle and everything she wasn't.

The ground around them shuddered and eroded away, leaving trails of lava behind. Shisui stumbled back, his eyes widening as thunder resounded. The molten earth bubbled and hissed around them, its orange heat singeing his shoes. Chiisai easily stepped onto the melted rocks without so much as a single burn on her. Eyes fixed on him, she allowed her chakra to rise forth and manifest around her. The sheer power of it caused the air to crackle with lightning. The ground erupted and defied gravity, seemingly floating in a circle around her as electricity sizzled up her arms. Eyes glowing, she extended her hand. Shisui now hovered above the lava and was left helpless while under her control. Towering over the Uchiha, she yelled over the wind, "Don't you see that I could do whatever I wanted to you right now?!"

Shisui didn't try to resist. He was calm in his captivity, and as he gazed up at her he whispered, "But I know you won't hurt me."

He didn't need his Sharingan to see through her.

His eyes still stared at her as if he accepted any fate she should bestow upon him. With a heavy sigh, Chiisai dropped the ploy. The setting transformed into a valley, of a sunny day with a slight breeze. Her chakra dwindled away as Shisui landed in front of her.

The wind rustled the leaves above them while she muttered, "You're worse than Itachi."

His shoulders slumped at the mention of the Uchiha's name. Chiisai could see the wheels turning in his head at the understanding that this wasn't the first time her secret had been revealed. Shisui ran a hand through his hair again and said, "This explains why you all are so close." He stared up at the sky and sighed, "I never had a chance, did I? Even though he's younger than me he still gets the girl."

Before she could reply, a voice came from behind him. "I hope you're not sulking."

Shisui turned to see Itachi behind him. He tilted his head and asked, "Are you part of the dream? Or are you real but in this dream?"

"I came with Chiisai." He now stood beside her as he added, "She has something to tell you."

The Uchiha's stared down at her. When the awkward silence became too much, Chiisai finally began, "The reason I told you the truth…Well, it's an order from the Hokage. My powers are similar to the Sharingan in a way, and that was what Itachi helped me with. But now the Third wants to see if your experience with the Kotoaamatsukami can help me control my…accidental influences on people."

Shisui noticed the glance between the two, of the connection they shared. No matter what they said, their bond was clearly visible. They were two kindred spirits. Shaking his head, he said, "I can't. After all, you're with Itach-"

Itachi elbowed Chiisai and said, "Chiisai has something else to tell you before you make your decision."

She received a glare from Itachi. Finally, she glanced up at Shisui and plainly said, "You're an idiot."

It was like she had just punched him. "Chiisai," Itachi warned.

"Fine. The reason you're an idiot is because even with your Sharingan you can't see..." Itachi elbowed her hard in the ribs, forcing her to finish with, "…that I…like you."

Shisui’s posture straightened, his eyes wide as he stammered, "What? But-"

Itachi smiled, "I'm afraid it's true, Shisui. She only has her insults set on you."

She yanked on his ponytail. "You're no help."

"Wait," Shisui stepped closer to her and said, "So…you actually like me? As in have-feelings-for-me like me?"

She shook her head at the so-called genius ninja. "You really are an idiot. Yes, I- hey, physical contact!" She squirmed under his hug. Damn these feelings oozing out of her. Chiisai's eyes sought Itachi as she pleaded, "Help me."

Itachi shrugged innocently and said, "Sorry, but you just said I was no help."

Before she could retaliate with a remark, Shisui pulled away. He placed his hands on her shoulders and asked, "Wait, so is the Hokage forbidding me to see you still?"

"The Hokage doesn't want anyone to know of our affiliation. So in reality, yes." His postured slumped once more, and she couldn't help but smile as she finished, "But in the dream world…"

Unable to contain himself, Shisui pressed his lips to hers.

It would take a while to get used to that.


	28. Memories Part 2

Chiisai, though more confident in her abilities, still feared it. The seizures continued, fear grew, and progress was slow. Not to mention the frustration of actually having a boyfriend (and dealing with her emotions) but not being allowed to see him. Reality was turning into an even more confusing mess, though Itachi did try to help. And with each visit he brought something from Shisui.

The first time was a flower- a gardenia, which she soon discovered meant "secret love." The next visit was while Shisui was on a two week mission. The flower was a lotus, which much to her amusement meant "far from the one he loves." Unfortunately for her, there wasn't a flower meaning "idiot," and the closest that came to it was a freesia. It was a rather silly gesture, this little flower game they played. It was the only physical evidence of their relationship, and Chiisai found herself keeping the flowers in a book and then cursing herself for doing it. Within a month she had the book full of dried flowers, plus a kitten Itachi had gotten (though it was Shisui's idea) to help sense her seizures.

The weeks passed and each night in the dream world brought Shisui and Chiisai closer together. Some nights they focused on her abilities, other times they watched the dreams with Itachi. Most of the time, Shisui and Chiisai sat together in the dream world sharing memories and basking in their solitude. In those too brief of moments did she realize why people dreamed of falling in love so much. It was an addiction, a beautiful and terrible addiction that made you stop questioning everything because the answer to everything was right in front of you. It was his hand running through his messy hair, his cheesy grin, his soft smile when she laughed. It was the feeling of having him against her, of his lips pressing on hers (how could it feel so good when she hated physical contact?). Shisui had seen something infinitely lovely within the monster she thought she was, and each second with him had her realizing how wrong she had been all her life.

But the problem with being in love was that once it was within your grasp you feared it might one day disappear. Fear, she knew, also blocked her from meeting her full potential. How could she master her power if she was afraid of it? She even refused to try out her own version of Kotoaamatsukami on someone because of it. So Shisui finally came up with a solution.

She would try it out on him.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi

The plan was to have Shisui and Chiisai asleep with Itachi supervising. Of course, they were breaking the Hokage's rule, but in all honesty it wouldn't be the last time they would break it. Chiisai would sneak into Shisui's mind and plant a thought only she would know.

And though she stood at the door to his mind, Chiisai couldn't bring herself to enter it. Thoughts of her mother overtook her, of seeing her collapsed in a chair, her face pale and still. Chiisai stood frozen from fear and hating herself for not being able to take that step forward. What if she ended up hurting Shisui? So much could go wrong with this. But if she didn't do it, no, she couldn't disappoint Shisui and Itachi. They were only trying to help her. And Itachi would be watching the whole time to make sure nothing went wrong. Trust. Just trust them.

All Chiisai had to do was take a step forward.

With a deep breath, Chiisai discarded all doubts and fears into the dream world. Calmness eased its way into her, and with another deep breath she entered his dream.

It was a few minutes before she noticed something was wrong. She already implanted the thought (read The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi) into Shisui's mind. A familiar sense of darkness washed over her and when she turned to exit she saw it.

It had no shape or form, only dark oily tendrils that constantly moved. And it was heading straight for Shisui's mind.

Chiisai, driven by instinct, allowed her chakra to unravel around her. With the shield of sparkling energy, she rammed into the oozy darkness. It released a shrill hiss as they collided. But her chakra didn't eradicate it. Instead, it seemed to help the monster.

Pain overcame her, both physical and psychological. It burned its way into her, peeling off the layers of skin while fear covered the entirety of her. Scared of death. Of killing. Of hurting the one she loved. Of losing Shisui. She couldn't see past it all. It hurt to think, to open her eyes, to feel anything besides this piercing ache inside her chest.

She only knew that it couldn't get to Shisui. So Chiisai continued to embrace the nightmare and endure the torture. Her chakra dwindled, her muscles ached. Damn, she needed more chakra. Fatigue overtook her, but she refused to let go. The creature inched closer and closer to Shisui, its tendrils shooting out toward him-

Chiisai focused her energy one last time. Her chakra responded, and a wave of energy rushed toward the creature. It bombarded its way into it, and the emotions behind the chakra began to eat away at its oily surface. The creature shrieked and hissed like fire on wood before it slowly hardened and dissipated to ash.

The creature was gone, but still her chakra grew in strength. This wasn't her chakra. Whose chakra was it?

The swift sound of a knife piercing an apple was what woke her up. But when she opened her eyes she realized the knife was a blade, and the apple was her skin.

A tanto was currently several inches in her chest.

"Shisui, get a hold of yourself!" Itachi had his hand on Shisui's arm, preventing the jonin from driving the weapon further into her.

Her eyes met Shisui's. And with that one shared look, the hardness in Shisui's eyes faded, as did the pressure of the blade. His eyes widened as he stared down at her, then at the tanto just below her collarbone. He instantly pulled it out, causing her to take in a ragged breath. Blood gushed, and he muttered a curse at what he had done. "I'm sorry, gods, I can't believe- I thought someone was attacking me. My chakra was…" Tears gathered in the corner of his eyes as he wiped her hair away from her face. Itachi was already tearing the top of her shirt to get to the wound.

As the two ninjas tried to stop the bleeding, Chiisai's thoughts drifted back to what happened in the dream world. Somehow, she had stolen their chakra. How many more people were affected?

She squeezed Shisui's hand to distract her from the pain. "As long as I'm the only one hurt…I'm happy with that."

"I'm not." Shisui shook his head. "I'm so sorry."

The guilt would be eating at him for a while. Turning her gaze to the other Uchiha, she grumbled, "Itachi, make him stop apologizing."

"Shisui, stop apologizing."

His eyes flickered to his friend. "Really?"

Chiisai squeezed his hand harder as she winced, "I might need to go to the hospital." The warmth from her own blood was starting to make her nauseous.

"I'll take-" He cursed under his breath. "I'm not allowed to be seen with you."

"Since we've already broken that rule you might as well just use a jutsu to appear as me," Itachi replied. "I have to report this to the Hokage, Chiisai. You somehow managed to suck up both of our chakra through the dream world. That's never happened before."

She winced as Shisui picked her up. "He's going to have to seal me like some jinchuriki if this doesn't get better soon."

IIIIIIIIIIIII Two weeks later IIIIIIIIII

Chiisai leaned back against Shisui's chest as they stared up at the dreams. It was surreal watching the dream orbs glow and flicker against the tree. The oily creature hadn't resurfaced since that night, but she was still anxious whenever she entered anyone's dreams. Maybe it had only been a nightmare from someone else's dreams. Maybe she forgot to close a portal. But that still didn't explain why it so easily resisted her chakra. That thing was real. She needed to tell someone, but telling someone would only let them see how out of control she was. No, she'd deal with this herself. It wasn't a big deal, right?

"Their dreams are getting worse."

She glanced up at the Uchiha's dreams and replied, "I know. I've been replacing their dreams with positive views on the village to try and help. But Fugaku has been set on a coup d'etat ever since that nine-tails incident. I checked every Uchiha, but I couldn't find anything. The only people who know anything are dead."

"The Fourth and his wife?"

She nodded. "Kushina kept on having nightmares that her seal would break when the baby was born. That's what I thought happened, except then Hiruzen started having nightmares of finding his wife dead where the delivery took place. Someone killed her and the guards."

"You think whoever did it is shielding his mind like Danzo and his men?"

"Maybe." Another problem ate at her though, and with a heavy sigh she mumbled, "It didn't work by the way."

He wrapped his arms around her. "Hmm?"

At her command, a dream orb appeared in front of her. She pressed a hand to its cold surface and absorbed the chidori-filled nightmare. Choking down the guilt-ridden and horrific emotions, she sent the orb back and replied, "The thought I planted inside of you. It didn't work."

He kissed the top of her head as she absorbed another nightmare. "Maybe my Sharingan saw through it."

His physical presence was enough to silence the dreamer's nightmares inside her. Her mother's last words no longer haunted her thanks to Shisui, and Chiisai was grateful for it. Love, she was discovering, was stronger than even her powers.

He glanced up at the tree and said, "You think that might be another reason it didn't work? You should try it on someone without Sharingan."

She shook her head, knowing that indeed there might be another reason it didn't work. Chiisai didn't tell him that, instead, she said, "How do you know when to use Kotoaamatsukami?"

"A nameless shinobi who protects peace from within its shadow…That's what my Sharingan does."

"So you only use it to protect peace."

"Hai," he nodded. "I'll protect what I care about with my life."

Her thumb traced his wrist, sending sparks up her arm. She whispered, "What do you care about?"

"The village, my friends, my family…"

Leaning to the side, she tilted her head up and frowned, "I'm not included?"

"Of course you are," he smiled. "You're a part of the village, you're my friend, and you're a part of my family."

She tensed at the last part. She pulled away and shook her head. "Shisui-"

He placed a hand on her arm to make sure she didn't run away. "I'm serious." He brushed her hair back to look her in the eyes, to make sure she knew how serious he was about this. "I know we're not allowed to see each other in reality, but in a few years…"

"I don't think the Hokage will be up for that," she whispered.

He tilted her head up and said, "He knows I won't give up on this. Do you know how hard it is to see you and pretend you don't exist? I want to be able to hold your hand in public, to kiss you…Just some eye contact would be nice," he added.

"You could appear as Itachi again-"

"No," he grimaced, "it's too weird."

She rolled her eyes and smiled, "You just don't want me affiliating my feelings for you with him."

He didn't say anything, confirming what she thought. She brought her lips to his and whispered, "Here, I'll show you something that even Itachi doesn't know about." With a smile, she pulled away from him and stood up. His eyes widened as he watched her. Tugging on his collar, he said, "You're taking off your shirt."

She laughed at his red face. "I said I'll show you, not tell you." She discarded the shirt to the ground and said, "I can make myself look however I want in the dream world. I haven't let you see what I really look like. It's kind of, well…" She pulled her pants off one leg at a time, now uncomfortably aware of her exposure.

His voice disappeared for a moment. Eyes still on her, Shisui managed to squeak out, "You're not a guy, are you?"

Chiisai didn't know whether to laugh or sigh at his worry. "No, I'm definitely female."

"Sorry," he breathed, "you had me scared for a minute."

"Just don't get mad, okay?"

"Why would I be mad?"

She glanced down at her smooth stomach and finally replied, "Because I did it to myself." The scars appeared, stretching horizontally across her abdomen and hips, creating another layer of geography on the map of her skin.

"Chiisai…"

She looked away, unable to stand the sight of his reaction. Her body wasn't the same body he dreamed about. Chiisai wasn't flawless or smooth; she was covered in the claws of her past. Slowly, she explained, "When I figured out why my dad was using me I started hurting myself to stay awake, or I’d stab myself to wake up. I've pretty much butchered my body. That's why I didn't want you seeing it."

She heard him rise to his feet. "I guess that's why you weren't so torn up about your wound scarring."

Her hand traced the new scar under her collarbone. Smiling to herself, she replied, "Pretty much." That was the least of her worries.

Shisui took a hold of her hand and gazed down at her. "Thank you for showing me."

Shaking her head, Chiisai replied, "You've shown me what love really is, so it's the least-"

Shisui brought his face to hers, making her cast aside all thoughts of how she looked or what she was going to say. He didn't need to reassure Chiisai by telling her she was beautiful. She already knew it by the way he drew her closer to him and the way his lips moved against hers. Finally, Chiisai pulled back and and caught her breath. "You're taking this "showing" thing a bit literally."

"Uh, sorry." Shisui stepped back and glanced at her. He blushed at the sight of Chiisai in her underwear, much to her amusement. He averted his eyes and added, "Was that too much? It was in the moment-"

"It's fine." With a mischievous smile, she added, "In fact, if you want to show me some more…"

A grin spread across his face as she tugged on his shirt. "Chiisai." He kissed her forehead, her nose, her lips. "Do you know how much I love you?"

She kissed him back before whispering, "Are you going to tell me or show me?"

A smile crept its ways across his face. "Whichever you wish for, milady."

Rolling her eyes, Chiisai snuck her hands under his shirt to feel the muscles underneath.

Showing was much more fun than telling, after all.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Two weeks later IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Hello miss, I was wondering if you could help me find a book for my girlfriend."

She froze at the familiar voice. Turning, she saw Shisui leaning on a bookshelf. Chiisai grabbed his hand and yanked him down the row of books. When they were out of sight, Chiisai hissed, "What are you doing here?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he smiled. "I'm just trying to check out a book."

Her shoulders slumped. "Do you even own a library card?"

"I'm sure I have one somewhere in my room," he shrugged.

This was her first day working at the library and it was already going downhill. "You're going to get me fired."

He waved a hand and said, "It'll be fine. I'll be able to sense if someone's nearby."

She poked his chest and responded, "You're an idiot."

Shisui grabbed her wrist and teased back, "I'm not the one who's in love with said idiot." Pulling on her arm, he asked, "Can I kiss you now?"

Her lips were centimeters from his when he suddenly staggered back. Eyes wide, he gaped past her and stammered, "L-Lord Third!"

Her back straightened at the name. Turning, she looked to see the Hokage in front of them with a faint smile playing on his face. "Ah," he sighed, "you two bring back so many memories."

Shisui frowned up at the old man and asked, "You're not angry?"

He laughed, "I know what it's like to be a young man in love. Frankly, I'm surprised you haven't done something like this sooner."

A personal visit form Hiruzen meant he was up to something. Hand on hip, she asked, "Why are you here?"

Shisui's eyes widened once more. "Chiisai," he elbowed her, "show some respect! He is the Hokage."

"It's alright," Lord Hiruzen chuckled. "I stopped by to see how your first day was going. I thought it would also be a convenient time to ask you both to visit tonight. I'm sure you can manage that, Chiisai."

She nodded, fearing what was to come.

"And Shisui? I find nothing wrong with checking out books." The Third winked, turned, and was gone.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Later that night IIIIIIIIIIIIII

"You want me to do what?" Her chakra crackled with distraught as she gaped up at the Hokage.

Hiruzen remained still and replied, "I know how uncomfortable you are about this, and I am sorry. But this will help delay Fugaku's plan."

Shisui laid a hand on her arm, silencing her electrical energy. These men were drinking tea like everything was normal. Heck, the tea they were drinking wasn't even real, so how could anything about this be normal? Taking a deep breath, Chiisai said, "So you want me to plant those thoughts into every Uchiha without Sharingan?"

"Yes. Itachi and Shisui will handle the other Uchihas." He glanced at Shisui, who nodded.

She shook her head. "I haven't mastered that ability though. I've barely gotten it to work on other people." Working her own version of Shisui's Mangeyko Sharingan was harder then she realized, especially if she didn't have the emotions behind it.

"Chiisai, excluding the Uchiha clan, have you noticed how happy the village is?"

"No. I don’t go out much."

He sipped his tea before saying, "It's the happiest I've ever seen it. Itachi and I believe it has something to do with you."

She took her eyes off the steaming mug to ask, "What do you mean?"

"We believe your emotions are affecting people through the dream world."

"But I have to be physically in their dream to affect their mind," she replied. Shisui seemed to sense her growing anxiety and squeezed her hand. She forced her shoulders to relax as Lord Hiruzen shook his head. "When you absorbed Itachi and Shisui's chakra, whose dream were you in?"

She glanced at the Uchiha beside her. "…his."

"But you somehow managed to absorb Itachi's chakra as well."

"Fine," she shrugged. "So I have a problem. What's your point?"

His eyes found hers as he gently said, "Itachi and I are working on a seal for you."

She should have been shocked to hear this come so effortlessly from his lips. But deep down she knew they had been working on it for a while now. She hadn't even told them about that oily monster. Gods, this was getting worse. "I don't blame you."

"There are several reasons for this. One is for your benefit. You powers will no longer affect your daily life. You won't have seizures and you will no longer be a liability to the village."

"Psh," she muttered, "sorry for being a liability." After helping him catch spies and rogues all he thought of her was as a liability. Fantastic.

"You will no longer be under my service after that, giving you the freedom to do as you please and to see whoever you please."

Both she and Shisui blinked in surprise. "What?"

He smiled briefly, amused to have finally gotten their attention. "Chiisai, you are extremely powerful and could be very useful to the Leaf. Through you alone we could take over other villages." He set the mug down and continued, "But you are not a weapon and I have no desire to turn you into one. You did not sign up for this, in fact, it was I who forced you into this predicament." He placed his hands together. "I thought it would help you but I now see the error of my ways. So after the Uchiha matter is resolved, you are getting sealed. And then you can do whatever you please."

She didn't believe what she was hearing. "So I'm allowed to see Shisui after that? And we can date publicly?"

"Yes."

Shisui seemed to be in as much shock as Chiisai. He ran a hand through his hair and said, "But what about drawing attention? Won't that cause problems by dating her so out of the blue?"

"By the time everything's through, I believe most people will have noticed your sudden interest in checking out books from the library."

She shook her head. "You've planned this all along."

"It was Itachi's idea," he smiled. "I think he's grown tired of playing the messenger between you two."

"I don't doubt it," Shisui muttered.

"So," the Hokage began, "what's your decision, Chiisai?"

She glanced from the Third to Shisui. She had dreamed of a life without having these powers, but never before did she think it would actually happen. But her abilities were a part of her life, no, it was her life. But looking into Shisui's eyes…

"I guess I don't have a choice, do I? I'm too in love with Pinwheels over here to say no."

He frowned. "Pinwheels?"

Pointing to his eyes, she replied, "Pinwheels. I thought you'd like it better than idiot."

He ignored the comment and placed her hands on his. His eyes sought hers as she asked, "Are you really okay with this? There's no turning back once you're sealed."

"It's only going to be worth it if you're in my life." With a smile, she added, "You and Itachi are the only people I'd want to see in public anyways."

"Chiisai..." His voice filled with conviction as he said, "You already know I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He kissed her and finished, " I'm not going anywhere."


	29. Memories Part 3

Chiisai asked, "How are you all fairing on your side?"

Itachi and Shisui glanced at each other. Seeing the hopelessness in their eyes, Chiisai grudgingly summoned a dream to absorb the nightmare. Her hands grew warm against the glass. Gods, this Kakashi kid needed serious help. She fought back the tears as she took away his emotions for hers.

Finally, Itachi shook his head and said, "We couldn't find anyone."

Casting the orb back to the tree, Chiisai rubbed her temples. The dream world darkened to grey as she sighed, "This is an impossible task."

Shisui leaned forward and took her hand. Giving it a squeeze, he said, "Well, you've managed to cause some chaos at least. A third of the Uchihas don't seem to be interested in the coup d'etat anymore. Of course, they don't care to stop it either."

"Yeah," Chiisai replied, "but that's not going to solve anything. Damn, I wish my powers worked on everyone else." She dropped her head, hating how powerful but powerless she was to the situation. She blinked when something appeared in front of her. Shisui handed her a mochi ice cream, which she gratefully took and bit into.

Itachi watched the dream tree for a moment before saying, "I've talked to my father. The only thing he was willing to do was postpone the plan. It's going to be after Sasuke's birthday."

Chiisai swallowed the fake food and pointed at Itachi. "By the way, he wants a personal training day with you for his birthday. Specifically with shurikens."

A faint smiled formed from her words. It seemed the only way to get Itachi to smile nowadays was mentioning his brother. "Thank you," he replied.

Shisui raked a hand through his hair, still not satisfied by the news. "If our village goes into a civil war, every other village will be at our borders. Can't your father see that?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid the only thing he cares about is the clan's overall welfare."

The bland scenery transformed to a playground in the village. The two Uchiha's blinked in surprise as children ran through them, one being Sasuke. Their laughter filled the air, and as the dream continued, Chiisai said, "There's still a way I can help. Since my power of influence won't work on his mind, I'll just breathe your father dreams about the village, about how good it is." Then the scene around them darkened. The children's eyes constricted as dead bodies appeared on the playground. The foul stench of blood filled the air and red liquid flowed like a river beside them. Screams rang out, and one by one each child fell to a wave of shurikens. "And then I'll give him nightmares to make him see how much death he'll cause to everyone, including his own family. I'll even implant visions like this in his head so even when he's awake he'll be haunted by it."

Itachi's eyes widened as he watched his brother trip and fall. Kunais flew through the air, ready to plunge straight into-

"Stop."

The scenery instantly disappeared. Itachi closed his eyes, trying to shut out the image of what he had just seen. "Sorry," Chiisai whispered. "That was asshole-ish of me to do that in front of you."

"No, I'm glad you showed it." His eyes opened to look her in the eyes. "It gives us an image of what could very well happen if we fail."

"I think you both are forgetting something."

Itachi and Chiisai glanced at Shisui. His eyes lightened to red before spinning into four-point pinwheels. "We all know what my Mangeyko Sharingan can do," he said.

Chiisai shook her head at such a suggestion. "But using that on your entire clan…"

"It's the safest way to stop this," he replied. He squeezed her hand again and continued, "I just have to use it on Fugaku."

Itachi, though hesitant, finally said, "Are you sure about this?"

He nodded, "I'll discuss it with the Hokage. But we all know this is the easiest route to take. Whether we like it or not, we have to do everything we can to make sure the rebellion fails."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"It'll be fine."

"You always say that."

"Has it ever not been fine?"

"What if you get caught?"

Shisui kissed her forehead. "My clan doesn't even realize I'm against them. I'm not going to get caught."

"You must be a great actor then," Chiisai replied. It was hard seeing him in the Uchiha's circle of trust given his peaceful personality. The clan already questioned Itachi's loyalty. How long before Shisui? "I'm surprised they haven't suspected you yet."

He leaned back and gazed upward. He smiled as he pointed to the make-believe sky, where a cloud in the form of Chiisai floated near the dream tree. "Actually, it's probably because of you."

Rolling her eyes, Chiisai made the cloud disappear. She summoned one of the tree's flickering orbs and pressed her hand against it. "You're funny."

He glanced at her and said, "I'm serious." He pointed to the towering and twisting oak tree that housed the dreams of the villagers. "Watching these dreams, their hopes and fears…And watching you take care of all the villagers without them even knowing it, like right now… It makes me want to protect them even more. It's all because of you, and I can't even tell anyone about you. I have to act like you don't even exist unless it's the library." He paused and returned his gaze to the sky. "I guess it's helped my acting skills."

She sighed and lay down beside him. He wrapped an arm around her as she curled into his warmth. Closing her eyes, she whispered, "Everything's going to change, isn't it?"

His fingers traced over her arm, sending tingles through her body. "It'll be okay after tomorrow," he reassured her. "I'll stop the coup d'etat, you'll get sealed, and then we can finally have our real first date. And then I'll introduce you to my family."

She cringed at the last part. "Will they like me? I mean, I'm not from your clan."

On hearing the worry in her voice, Shisui sat up and took both her hands in his. "Being a Uchiha doesn't matter to me and it won't matter to my family." He grinned, "Maybe that's how we'll finally bridge the gap between the village and my clan."

She smiled back at his cheerfulness, knowing he wouldn't hesitate to do just that once everything was over. He had even discussed getting married a week ago. But the more she thought about what would be happening, the harder it was to keep the smile up. Glancing up at the dreams, she murmured, "This is the last night in the dream world, isn't it?"

Resting his head against hers, he replied, "Is there anything you want to do?"

She kissed him and said, "I've absorbed all the nightmares. Everyone should be sleeping well besides Itachi's dad. But this place…" She closed her eyes. After tomorrow, she'd no longer have access to what had been her whole life. What would everything be like? No dreams, no seizures…It was finally a chance to be normal, something she had craved for so long. Finally, she'd be able to move on from the nightmares of her past. "The dream world was my home."

"Was?"

"It was," she smiled, "until I met Itachi and you." Her mouth found his as she whispered, "As long as I'm with you I am home." She kissed him again, loving the feel of his lips. "Reality will finally be better than the dream world."

He couldn't help but grin as he replied, "You haven't been reading those cheesy romance novels again, have you?"

Chiisai rolled her eyes and pushed him. "I'm just copying your cheesy personality, Pinwheels. There is one thing I'm concerned about though, since we won't be meeting here anymore."

"What's that?"

"Once I get sealed, you're going to have to start buying condoms."

"Truth be told," he replied sheepishly, "I already bought some. Unfortunately, Itachi saw them."

She couldn't help but laugh. "I bet he pretended he didn't see them. He's too polite."

"Yeah," he sighed, "but it was pretty obvious." Pause. "You know, you're the reason he has crows in his genjutsu."

"Huh?"

He nodded. "He told me about it the other night. He was further developing his genjutsu when he first met you. Apparently you inspired him."

"I am an inspiring person," she replied with a half-smile. Chiisai flicked the side of his arm and said, "You should appreciate me more."

"I always appreciate you." A pink rose appeared in his hand as he offered it to her. "Now what do you want to do on our last night in the dream world?"

She took the rose and replied, "Not use a condom."

He grinned and shook his head. "How am I the romantic one in the relationship?"

"What?" She shrugged, "I didn't have anyone teaching me what romance was, or sex for that matter. Do you know how awkward it was for me as a child to see some of these people's dreams? I never got ‘the talk’ from my mother, either, not that she would have said anything."

She stopped when the grass turned into a valley of red roses. The velvety softness graced the bottom of her legs as Shisui said, "Don't think about your mother. Remember, I love you and always will, you silly girl. And don't let your past tell you otherwise."

It was times like this where she wondered how someone like him ever fell in love with someone like her. Dropping her gaze to the ground, Chiisai replied, "Now you've been reading too many cheesy romance novels."

Shisui smiled as he brought her hand to his lips. "I guess I should have asked do you want me to not use a condom instead. My apologies, milady."

That got a laugh out of her. He gave a faint smile before she pressed her lips to his. Running her hands through his messy hair, she finally whispered, "Tonight I want to forget about the past and not worry about the future. I want to focus on right now."

His eyebrow arched as he asked, "And not use a condom?"

"Now you speak my language."

IIIIIIIIIIIIII The next day IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong because Shisui was in her room instead of the Uchiha district. Not only that, but he had one eye closed, and blood ran down his cheek.

Chiisai sat Tori down and ran towards him. Her eyes widened when she saw his grim expression. "Why are you-" Her hand went to his face. "Your eye-"

"I'm fine."

An obvious lie. She held his face in the palm of her hands, making sure the person in front of her was real, that this heart-torn person was indeed Uchiha Shisui. "What happened?"

His face softened at her touch, and as he looked into her eyes she saw something inside him crack. Slowly, he tilted his head and pressed his lips against hers. It was soft, warm, and lingered as if he were trying to make time stop. "I love you," he whispered on her skin. His tone was low and ragged, unlike his normal carefree voice. Yes, something was terribly, terribly wrong. Tears escaped the corners of his eyes as he murmured, "Remember that, okay?"

He pulled away, but she clung to him. She'd never seen him like this, and it scared her more than any nightmare she had seen. Shisui tried to gently pry her off, but she refused to let go. For some reason, tears gathered in her eyes. "I love you too," Chiisai replied, "but what-why are you-"

The last thing she saw of him was his Sharingan.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

When she woke up, the first thing she saw was a single red camellia on her nightstand. Then next thing she was Itachi.

He was the one to tell her, or more precisely, show her.

And after collapsing to her knees and breaking down, Itachi was the one to hold her. He never reassured her it was going to be okay, that everything was going to be alright.

Because they knew it was a lie.

She couldn't eat, could barely sleep. All she could see was Shisui stepping back into thin air, his head tilting back, his body falling and falling and her always being unable to reach him.

That was Itachi's dreams now. And no matter how much she tried, she couldn't erase it from his mind. She couldn't absorb the nightmare, or any nightmare for that matter. Everything hurt. Having something so good now gone from her life forever, how did anyone survive being in love? It was dying without being able to die. It was a constant loop of thinking the next day would be better, but it never was. And with the coup d'etat still in progress, it was only getting worse.

Shisui was gone.

Chiisai aimed multiple times to recreate him in the dream world. And each time it left her more broken than before, because no matter how hard she tried, she could never replicate him in the way he really was. This Shisui never ran his hand through his hair the way the real one did. The smile wasn't the same, the hearty laugh was a pitch too high. She was only left with disappointment after each night, and each night she screamed into the dream world alone, because that's what she was now.

Alone.

Uchiha Shisui was never coming back.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Chiisai."

She took her eyes off the cat in front of her and glanced up to see Itachi in her room.

"Hey." She couldn't bring herself to say anything more. Inside of her was an emptiness, a hollowness so cold that she was numb to everything except the hurt constantly throbbing in her heart.

"I need to talk to you."

"Hmm."

"The nightmare you had last night…You took three people's chakra before you awoke. They're dead. Because of your emotions…"

She shook he head and blandly said, "It's not going away. I love him."

"The village is as tense as ever. And the nightmares everyone are having…It's the same oily creature in every dream. It's starting to affect them. Even the coup de'etat has been pushed forward."

"This is happening because of it, isn't it?" She swallowed the lump in her throat and hugged her cat tighter. "I can't stop." She couldn't stop hurting from the love she now cursed.

Itachi crouched down in front of her. He scratched under Tori's chin before looking into the broken mess of a girl in front of him. "Chiisai."

Tears filled her eyes. She could feel herself slipping, of her exterior breaking under the heaviness of her despair. "Why does it hurt so much? I can't stop." Her eyes pleaded to him as she said, "Please, make it go away! I don't want to feel." She shook her head faster and squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't want to feel this way every second of every single day! It's hurting everyone!"

Itachi then had his arms around her as she began to sob into his chest. "Please," she whispered, "do something. Do something."

"I will. But I need your help first." He pulled away and gently took her hand. "You need to come back out of that dark cage in which you locked yourself away. He would never have wanted you like this."

"I know. I understand why he did it," she choked out. "I'm angry, Itachi. I'm angry and I wish he were here so I could tell how mad I am at him. But he's not here, and he doesn't even have a grave that I can yell at." Her shoulders were shaking, and she cursed herself for feeling like this. Dammit, wasn't she strong enough to handle this? Itachi had lost his best friend, but he still managed to stay level-headed.

"Chiisai, I need your help. My Mangeyko Sharingan…one of my eyes has a power similar to yours. I need your help controlling it."

She stopped to consider this. "You have your own dream world?"

He shook his head. "The way these eyes were formed, I'd rather call it a Nightmare Realm."

"Huh," She swallowed the lump in her throat again and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "Then let's see it."

So he showed her, and she helped him create the hell within his eye.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Whenever Chiisai thought that she was making progress or that her heart finally was patching itself up, she found herself back to where she started- on the ground and sobbing until she couldn't breathe.

This time it happened in the dream world. And something heard her cries.

It came for her- the same dark, oily monster that first appeared in Shisui's mind. It was as if the creature relished in her despair and fed off the negative emotions she released. It would have gotten her if she hadn't been forced awake by Tori's claws in her arm.

But the next time she went to sleep she knew that same monster would be there somewhere.

The dream world was no longer safe.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"The Hokage believes its best to seal you as soon as possible."

She wanted to pound his chest for his calmness. Itachi was avoiding her question. "I want to help you stop the coup de'etat. I know you've been planning something." She had finally regained enough mentality to think clearly, and the first thought had been Shisui and his last words.

"I don't want you involved," Itachi replied sternly.

Chiisai yelled, "Stop trying to burden yourself with everything. For once, let someone help you!"

"I do not need your help."

"I don't care if you need it or not," she said. "I want to help with Shisui's last wish." Chiisai ran a hand through her hair, trying not to break down again. How did Itachi have the mentality to hold himself together like this? Faintly, she asked, "Do I not deserve that much?"

It wasn't a smile, but something changed in his voice. "It's glad to finally see you somewhat of your normal self."

Tori rubbed up against her leg, distracting her form her anger. She bent down and picked the cat up. "Look," she sighed, "you asked me to help you with the Nightmare Realm and that's exactly what I did. Hell, I even sparred with you there and I'll admit it helped distract me." She took her gaze off the cat to glare at Itachi. "Now I'm asking you for something, and if you deny this I swear I will never forgive you."

Itachi rubbed behind the cat's ears. With eyes downcast, he replied solemnly, "I'm afraid there will be other things you won't be able to forgive me for too."

"What are you talking about?"

There was no hope in stopping Chiisai from interfering. With voice composed as always, Itachi explained, "There is a new plan to stop the coup de'etat, however, relations between my clan and the village are damaged beyond repair. We waited too long."

She didn't like where this was heading. "Then what are you saying?"

"The new plan…" He straightened and closed his eyes. "…Is for me to massacre my clan."

That didn't make any sense. Itachi was peaceful by nature, and that…Was this the consequence of them waiting? "Kill every Uchiha?"

He nodded. "In order to maintain overall peace, my clan must be exterminated."

She could see the anguish in his eyes. The emotions he harbored so deep below the surface… "Itachi."

He dropped his gaze to Tori. "I'm not sure if I can do it," he finally whispered. "And that day you showed Sasuke getting killed…" Now he was the one about to break. "I can't kill him. I know I can't kill my little brother."

She placed the cat on the bed to wrap her arms around Itachi. "Then you don't," she replied. Pulling away enough to look at him, Chiisai said, "Itachi, when you discovered me in your dream and told the Hokage, well…I hated you for a bit. But you brought me out of the darkness and helped me see my powers in a whole new light. You helped me regain control of my abilities, you're even the reason I met Shisui." She held his hand and pleaded, "Please, you've done so much for me. Let me help you now."

The level-headed façade finally crumbled. A tear trailed down his face as he rested his head against hers. "May I ask something?"

She traced her hand up and down his back. How long had she wallowed in her sorrow and not once thought of Itachi? What he was going through all this time was too much for one person to take. "Hmm?"

He closed his eyes, causing more tears to spill. "Killing your parents…What was it like?"

"It's hell," she whispered, "absolute hell." Another layer of despair took over her as she remembered. "You're overwhelmed with guilt probably until the day you die. It won't go away either, but time helps you get used to it. Each day you get a bit of your sanity back. It might be different for you though. Your relationship with your parents isn't the same with mine."

He smiled at her brazen honesty. "You are a true friend, Chiisai. I don't think you realize how much I've come to cherish your company."

She laughed, though it was bitter and barely heard. "I wouldn't know what a friend was without you," she replied. After wiping his tears away, Chiisai said, "Itachi, you know I'm not letting you do this alone. Before you seal me, let me use my powers to protect the village one last time. Please."

Itachi sighed as he gazed down at her. He brought his hand up and wiped a strand of her hair away. "I think Shisui fell for you the first moment he laid eyes on you," Itachi tried to smile. "He truly loved you."

The tears didn't fall this time. Instead, she whispered back, "I know."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

She had killed before. Five people, to be exact. But helping murder an entire clan was a newfound horror, one that left her frozen and without any words to utter. But it had to be done. In order to protect the village, to fulfill Shisui's last wish, it had to be done.

That's what she kept telling herself.

As each Uchiha fell to the ground on that moonlit night, their breath gone from their lips, Chiisai repeated that mantra. One, two, three, four, each body replaced with a number of the dead. She snuck into each of their minds, and one by one she took ahold of them. How she managed to fall asleep knowing what had to be done, she must really be sadistic to ease into sleep like that.

Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three…

But it had to be done. That thought drove her, it fueled her chakra with purpose. Faster Chiisai sped through the dream world, and each dream she left meant another orb flickering out for the last time.

Forty-seven, forty-eight, forty-nine…

Why hadn't the monster appeared yet? It must be waiting to bask in her emotions once this was over. Why was she doing this again? Wasn't this wrong? Killing so many people…

But to fulfill Shisui's wishes…

Fifty-nine, sixty, sixty-one…

To protect the village…

Seventy-two, seventy-three, seventy-four…

And maintain honor within the Uchiha name...

Eighty-five, Eighty-six, Eighty-seven…

It had to be done.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

When it was over, Itachi took her to the Hokage. Their tears had long dried away before anyone spoke.

"You didn't kill your brother."

Itachi stared down at the weapon that killed so many. "He will hate me for the rest of his life."

"You're going to die by his hand, aren't you?" She watched the weapon as if hoping it would take their lives too.

"A Uchiha who massacred his clan can only be punished by another Uchiha," he replied slowly.

She wanted to comfort him in some way, but no words could make up for their horrific actions. It was almost a dream it seemed. Was this real? Had they killed so many people? And the children…Their dreams echoed in her mind.

He placed a hand on her arm. She felt the tremors of his hand, the sweat from his palms. "The past cannot be undone," Itachi said. "There is no turning back."

"I am sorry, Itachi."

They both looked up to see the Hokage. His footsteps were heavy, his pipe gone. There would be no celebrating for peace tonight. Too much had been lost and too much blood had been spilled. Peace was a hefty price, one that was necessary to pay. "I am afraid I have put you in an impossible circumstance, one which I terribly regret."

"The village is safe and the Uchiha's name still holds honor." Itachi nodded, "I am satisfied with that."

Chiisai glanced up at the Hokage. "I broke into everyone's minds. No one will go by the Uchiha district for at least another hour." After all this time she had finally mastered her powers because of Shisui. Ironic that they were now going to be taken away.

"Then let us proceed," Hiruzen replied. "We've already told you how the seal works, but Itachi and I fear your unstable chakra might lash out once we try to seal you. This means the Sharingan has to be used in order to repress it."

She lay down on the cold table and frowned, "Itachi, you're sealing me?"

"For the majority of it, yes." He held on to her hand and continued, "I am sorry we have to say goodbye in such circumstances. Our lives are rather tragic I feel."

She cursed the tears she could no longer hold back. "I don't know if I can survive with both of you gone from my life." With a ragged and forced laugh, she added, "My only friends now are an old man and a cat."

"I know," Itachi replied. Hiruzen activated the jutsu and pressed his hand to Chiisai's forehead. Black symbols stretched over her body like tattoos. Itachi then activated his Sharingan, the red swirling into place as he finished, "That is why I'm going to help you one last time."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Hiruzen stood above her, his wrinkly face showing a kind smile. She looked up at him groggily, but he wasn't who she wanted. Who did Chiisai want? She couldn't remember, and suddenly she was overcome with a sadness that stuck to her like fresh snow. Red eyes flooded her vision, and for a moment she could faintly recall his dark hair, his slight smile when she laughed. Her eyes flooded with tears but then the image was gone just as quick, and all she was left with was Hiruzen holding her like a child, reassuring her it was going to be alright.

But it wasn't alright.

She was forgetting something important. What was it?

She couldn't remember. The only person her mind grabbed on to was Itachi, and he wasn’t here like he promised. There was a plan… He had done something, something bad. And then he had left.

He was gone.

And she was alone.


	30. Remember That, Okay?

Kakashi's eye opened. He struggled through the fog in his mind as he took in his surroundings. The Sun shined through the trees, telling him it was almost noon. Unfortunately, he had trouble recalling why he was outside in such frigid temperatures. He dropped his gaze down to the battered ground. The ache resonating in his muscles and the shooting pain in his back confirmed that some type of battle had taken place. Was this a mission? Why was his vest missing? What had-

Kakashi bolted upright. Cursing under his breath, the jonin quickly surveyed the area again, though he knew she wouldn't be there.

Chiisai was gone.

They needed to find her before Itachi did anything. But the Uchiha wasn't one to show mercy, and not knowing how long he had been out…This wasn't good. Kakashi shook Genma, but his body only sagged back against the tree. He turned to Tomo and Pakkun, who weren't asleep…No, they were under a genjutsu. Kakashi bent down in front of them and placed his hands together. Lifting two fingers, he activated the jutsu to disrupt their chakra flow.

"Kai!"

Both animals blinked, their bodies twitching as they regained motor control.

"Itachi," Tori hissed, "he took her."

"Pakkun, do you still have her scent?"

"Hai," the ninken nodded.

Tomo limped over to Genma and extended her claws. They sank into his skin, dragging several inches before the ninja finally stirred. "Damn," he groaned. Genma gazed down at the cat before he saw Kakashi in front of him. "What the hell?"

"Itachi has Chiisai."

The ground crunched under Genma's feet as he tried to figure out why he blacked out. But his mind was clouded, and he couldn't remember the moment before he went unconscious. "Why didn't the Akatsuki kill us? Wait…Itachi has Chiisai? What's going on?" Shit, why was his mind so sluggish?

Kakashi picked up the limping Tomo as Pakkun started ahead. "I'll explain on the way. " The cold bit through his shirt as they picked up speed. There was some chakra left in his reserve but not enough to withstand Itachi's Sharingan. His back cried out with pain, reminding him he was also physically injured. 

Genma followed close behind as Kakashi said, "Back before Itachi massacred his clan…He and Chiisai were close."

"Close?" Genma groaned at the implications. "Shit, Kakashi." That was one hell of emotional baggage to carry. "What is the guy looking for, closure?"

His eye fixed ahead as he replied, "I'm not sure what he's going to do. She knows far too much about him."

It was a few seconds before Genma said anything. "You know we can't take both of them. What's your plan?"

For once, the genius ninja was out of ideas. And if Itachi had done anything to Chiisai, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to even stick with a plan. "I don't know yet."

"The odds aren't in our favor."

Kakashi almost let out a bitter laugh.

The odds were never in their favor to begin with.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

She remembered.

Someone loved her before, and she loved him. But he was gone and never coming back. Because of that, she helped Itachi do the unthinkable: massacring his own clan.

Those thoughts rooted themselves in her mind. Like a boat tossed at sea, so was Chiisai under the tidal wave of her emotions. Wave after wave she was beaten below the surface, crushed by the weight of misery and dejection. Hands of the dead Uchiha's seemed to pull her deeper into the darkness. This was worse than any nightmare she ever experienced because what she had just seen had all been real.

Shisui.

She finally remembered. And now that she did, she realized she didn't want to.

"Chiisai."

Her eyes opened to see Itachi over her, his body heaving as he tried to control his breathing. They were still in her mind. Sweat beaded his forehead and blood trickled from his eyes. "Your chakra has gotten stronger, I believe."

"Shisui…" She could no longer see Itachi for the tears. The only thing she pictured was messy hair, a sideways grin, his hand holding a flower, his strong body pressing against her…

"I am sorry. It was wrong for me to let you help with the massacre," Itachi whispered. "Shisui would not have wanted you to go through that."

"I want to die." Her voice was numb to the emotions sinking inside her. She was drowning, she would always be drowning in this abyss of despair. And the whisper of those Uchihas’ chakra as she pulled it away from their body…

He laid a hand on her shoulder and replied, "I know it hurts, but-"

She shrugged away from him, not sure how to feel about the person in front of her. Chiisai ran a hand through her hair but stopped at realizing what she was doing. It made sense now, her little habits. It all came from Shisui. Gods, even the cheesy romance novel, the flowers, the silly nicknames- her subconscious had somehow saved a part of him.

There was pressure in her chest, and her throat constricted as if Hitoshi were still choking her. Chiisai stared down at her hand and struggled to say, "It's beyond hurt. I can't- I don't want to live."

"Chiisai."

Her hand formed a fist as she yelled, "I don't want this!" How the hell could she live with this despair? How could anyone stand to feel this way?

Itachi grabbed her by the shoulders. He couldn't afford for her to act like this now. "You've forgotten everything, including Kaka-"

"I don't care!"

Chiisai had been wrong. She wasn't strong enough to withstand this, to know all these years of her life were wasted. She had control of her powers at one time, she had friends, she had someone she was going to spend the rest of her life with. It hadn't been her father who started the nightmares, it had been her. Chiisai's emotions, her feelings of loss, it was all because of her. Everything she knew before…Everything she ever thought was a lie. And helping Itachi with murder-

She said, "You should have killed me instead. I want to die."

"You think I don't feel the same way sometimes? My best friend dying before my eyes, killing my own people, living as a rogue ninja, my brother growing up destined to hate me?" Itachi shook his head as he whispered, "But I am a shinobi and I endure. I must. The road I've taken is a dark one, but you still have a chance to walk back into the light." Eyes pleading, he wiped a strand of her hair away and asked, "Don't you think Shisui would want that?"

She couldn't hear past the cry of her heart. It tore through her chest and split her bones. It was too much, it hurt too much to process anything else. She now understood why she hated feeling emotions so greatly.

Chiisai pulled away from him. Itachi's eyes widened as chakra seeped out of her pores and thrummed around her. Eyes white and glowing, Chiisai finally answered, "If you're not going to kill me then I'll do it myself."

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Pakkun jumped off the tree branch and landed in a small clearing. Kakashi and Gemma stood in front of the cave, surveying the area. Even through the shadows Kakashi could see the outline of Itachi on top of Chiisai, as if in a lover’s embrace. His Sharingan glowed red in the dark and never wavered from Chiisai's eyes.

Genma was too late to grab Kakashi's arm. The jonin already had a kunai out as he appeared behind Itachi. He brought the weapon down, but the Uchiha must have sensed him. Itachi flattened himself against Chiisai at the last second before rolling off of her. Itachi took a harsh intake of breath as he broke eye contact with her. Kakashi was already on top of him. Blood ran like tears from Itachi's eyes, fueling Kakashi's rage. Blood could only mean he used a monumental amount of chakra on Chiisai.

"Kakashi-san, she will die unless you do something."

His eye widened. Itachi stared up at him, but before he could say anything they both grunted in pain.

Kakashi struggled to get to Chiisai, but the piercing ache in his head made it difficult to move. Her chakra dove inside him and twisted its way to the deep recesses of his mind, resurfacing every horrific moment of his life.

His father lying in a bloody heap.

Obito half-crushed under a boulder, a smile on his face.

Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the images from flooding his vision. But no matter what he did, the memories flared back to life, blinding him from reality.

The spew of blood as he plunged his hand through Rin's chest.

Standing at his sensei's grave, lost and alone.

Kakashi crawled over to her, fighting back the torture that made him tremble with each movement. It hurt to breathe, to think. Death consumed him. It ate at him like a parasite, devouring what little willpower he possessed.

Chiisai lying in a hospital bed day after day, never waking up.

Holding her cold and broken body in his arms.

He focused on Chiisai, willing himself to move. Her eyes were wide open, her mouth stuck in a silent scream. Desperate, Kakashi used the last of his strength for the Sharingan and slipped into her mind.

She stood in the midst of a whirlwind of energy, her chakra spiraling around her like a tornado. As Kakashi staggered towards her he realized that her chakra didn't appear out of control, at least currently. It was acting more like it was resisting something. 

His body was suddenly thrown forward, and as he tried to claw his way back her chakra wrapped around him like vines. The vibrant colors of energy tightened its hold, cutting of his circulation. His breath caught in his throat as her chakra dragged him closer. His hands struggled to form the proper hand signs, but the vines already wrapped around his arms to prevent him from using jutsu.

The manifested chakra flung Kakashi in the air and rammed him into the ground. His head rebounded against the floor and the grey world spun around him. A shadow crossed over him, and when Kakashi regained his vision he gasped. Chiisai hovered over him, her eyes glowing white and her body buzzing with electricity. His heart thudded in his chest as he gazed up at her. It wasn't her chakra that shocked him; he had seen that too many times to be surprised. But what gripped his heart the most?

Chiisai was crying.

She tilted her head down while the tears continued to flow. They fell and hit his mask one by one like the moment before a heavy rain. Chiisai, or what was left of her, gazed down at him. She didn't even realize who he was. Whatever Itachi did caused something inside of her to crack.

"It hurts," she told him. Her voice was soft and calm, almost innocent like a child's. "I don't want to live anymore."

She was unknowingly going to kill everyone around her if he didn't bring her to her senses. "You want to die." His memories went back to fighting her father in the dream world, where she had said the same thing then. But this wasn't from physical pain, this originated from something psychological, something far darker and far deeper than Kakashi imagined possible. Itachi must have unsealed her memories.

Her pupil-less eyes now stared at Kakashi as she asked, "Do you know what it's like for someone you've loved to leave you behind?"

He knew far too well what it felt like. "I do," Kakashi nodded.

She bent down and placed her hand under his chin. Curiously, she brought his head up. Her voice trembled as she asked, "How can you stand it?" Chiisai pointed to her chest and said raggedly, "There's a gaping hole in my heart, and it won't go away."

Kakashi met her eyes and replied, "That hole in your chest…It can be filled if you let others in."

The vines of chakra around him loosened as she said, "That could hurt even worse."

"It very well may," he slowly replied. The tendrils of chakra sat limp around him. "But that gamble is worth it." He cautiously drew closer to her. When she didn't react, he gently took her hand. Eyes seeking hers, Kakashi whispered, "If you love them, it's worth it, Small Tiger."

She blinked when she recognized the nickname. It reminded her of what she would say to Shisui. No, that wasn't it. There was someone else. She had been so caught up in her past she forgot something important. Someone else loved her too. Slowly, the whiteness of her eyes faded. The more she gazed at him the faster her heart began to beat. Her newfound memories vanished for a moment as the recent events flooded her vision.

‘I've been in love with you for quite some time I'm afraid.’

The air stilled, her chakra vanished. The only sounds were her sobs. He pulled her to him as she broke down. Smoothing back her hair, he pressed his lips to her head and whispered, "What ever Itachi did to you, I want you to know that you're never alone."

A sniffle escaped her as she pulled away. She didn't meet his eye. "Kakashi…" 

Kakashi furrowed his eyebrows at her expression. He took hold of her hand but she only pulled away. The tears were still falling as Chiisai said, "I can't."

"What are you saying?" They had finally admitted their feelings just hours ago, and now…What the hell had Itachi done?

Her hands wrapped around his neck as she pulled him down. Her lips sank against his masked ones. Tears ran down her face and onto his as she whispered, "I think it's time you get out of my mind."

He tightened his hold on Chiisai, refusing to let her go. He summoned up his own memories before them, showing her each scene that had slowly built to this moment. Running into her on the street, picking out a book, finding her unconscious in an alley; it all started from the beginning, and each new image joined in with the chorus of their past.

Her fingers curled into his shirt as their voices filled the area. His irritating comebacks, her sarcastic responses, their quiet conversations while cuddling beneath the sheets. And still the memories continued to overcome her senses. Kakashi was showing her the moments he treasured with her, the parts of her he loved.

Kakashi cherished every little detail about her, down to the last scar on her body. Just like Shisui had once done.

The more of himself Kakashi poured out, the more he slipped away. His Sharingan must be at its limit. But he wasn't going back into reality without her. Kakashi tilted her head up and kissed her. She responded and moved her lips against his, finally coming to understand what she needed to do. He broke away long enough to whisper, "You stupid woman, don't you realize how much I love you?"

The movie clips of their life faltered and sputtered out before she could reply. Kakashi squeezed his eye shut, trying not to give in just yet.

She choked out, "You're going to die if you keep using your Sharingan."

The jonin opened his eye with determination. "I'm not leaving without you."

Chiisai drew back from him, the only physical contact now through their hands. Her eyes glowed while she summoned her energy. At that moment her chakra rushed out of her palm and into his. Kakashi was now the one glowing as she smiled, "You were the one who was able to breathe life back into my dreams. I can't thank you enough."

Her chakra was doing more than rejuvenating him, it was also draining the life out of her. Kakashi willed her chakra to leave him, but the energy seemed to flow faster and immobilized his limbs. At this rate, she was going to-

His eye widened. He hadn't changed her mind at all. "Don't do this," he said, "There's no need to do this!"

She squeezed his hand and replied, "I love you. Remember that, okay?"

Kakashi screamed her name as she released him, but the deed was already done.

After all that talk about not abandoning each other, after all the promises they had made...

‘I don't plan on dying any more today.’

She had lied.

END OF THE DREAM BREATHER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m in the middle of editing the final installment of the trilogy! Hope you all enjoyed this book. It took a much darker turn than the first one. :( But I didn’t kill the cat!! That must count for something, right? I would love to hear you thoughts!


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